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... Send *ateyes a private message | | | *ateyes's profile:Hi...I'm Norma!
I live in the great state of Texas - born and raised in Houston. I have been divorced for 13yrs and have no children.(nor any plans - giving birth that is!) I am 43yrs young and enjoy my everday life! I have an excellent career as a VP & Branch Manager.
I can only say that any advise coming from me, would be an honest one. Mostly, it's from the heart, added with a touch of brains, common sense and compassion. I think everyone has done "something" in their life and has learned from it. For those of us who have, if we can help someone else not make the same mistake or maybe we might have first hand experience in, what a blessing that can be.
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| Latest articles: Till Death Do We Part - A True Story
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 June 2007: Doesn't anybody stay together anymore? In this day and time, it is so easy to get a divorce or even better...just live together to "see if it works out" first. Don't get me wrong, I personally believe there are good reasons to divorce, and I know I ...
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I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 2 June 2007: NO, unless that is what you are looking for, but I don't think you are. I would wait until you meet someone new....and she will come along. Just be patient. This girl doesn't seem very kind to you and you don't want to be with someone who tells ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 31 May 2007: I really think you BOTH need to sit down and talk about your relationship and excatly what you want to get from it because I would hate to see you get hurt by her. It saddens me though to hear her say she wouldn't have done what she did because you ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 30 May 2007: First of all...NOTHING was your fault as I see it. I really think you have been quite the gentleman to her and apparently, she cannot appreciate that. For her being 18 with a high sex drive, that kinda tells me she might have been around the block ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 23 May 2007: I am SO happy for you!!! Best of Luck with her and I really do hope things work out for you. Just remember to take it slow....don't rush in to everything all at once.
Take Care and enjoy your new relationship!!... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 19 May 2007: It sounds as things went very well for you both!! I'm glad for you. Just remember to take things slow and let things progress on their own, don't be in a rush as this to me would probably "kill" the friendship you two have so far. In my opinion, ... (read in full...)
Is he pulling back because he's not interested or because of ex-wife issues?
Q. I'm 38 and been dating a single dad now for just under 3 months. We've had a passionate dating relationship for the first 2 months and we are have so much in common. He verbally treats with with the utmost respect and is very considerate whe...
A. 13 May 2007: Sounds as if you 2 hit it off quite well. However, I think because he has some "issues" still pending with the ex, it's just to hard for him to handle his job, the ex, his child...and then you. I don't think it's not that he doesn't want you in his ... (read in full...)
He started to do stuff to me like touching my breasts and my legs
Q. This probably has nothing to do with sex or relationships, but I need to ask someone. My biological father is an alcoholic. I don't live with him, but I have to go out and see him sometimes. The last time I went to his place he was drinking and he t...
A. 12 May 2007: First of all, you need to tell your mother. She really needs to know because you do not need to go over their again. More then likely, he WILL do this again and it will lead to further sexual advances. (and I pray this never happens!) He needs to ... (read in full...)
Does anyone know the best way to meet girls.
Q. Does anyone know the best way to meet girls. Im now 30 and lets say i have had a fair crack of the whip. I have had a couple of long term relationships, one of which i was engaged, and both ended badly. I consider myself to be a good looking guy, ...
A. 12 May 2007: Meeting someone in a pub/club in my opinion would not be the most healthiest place. Alcohol would play a big part when your talking with them, because alcohol does tend to make us pretty brave in talking and really, your not getting to know the real ... (read in full...)
I've been thinking of moving in to my own flat and leaving my boyfriend.
Q. I am very fond of my boyfriend and care for him a lot. We have been living together 3 yrs and my feelings for him have always been the same. I have been on my own for most of my adult life and am ok being single. I am a loner and enjoy my own ...
A. 12 May 2007: Being fond of your boyfriend and being in love with your boyfriend are not the same. I think your fond of your friend and having "benefits" as well since you two live together. You almost "sound" as if you want something more and I'm not sure what ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 12 May 2007: I have to admit, Midge said everything that I would be telling you....and you know excatly what your limitations are, however, you will never know until you try. AND BELIEVE ME, I WOULD TRY TO DO IT..NEVER SAY NEVER OR I CAN'T DO SOMETHING!! ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 11 May 2007: I know this may seem kinda weird, but...I would do something that either neither of you know how to do or haven't done in a long time. Something that is fun where both of you can laugh and have something to talk about afterwards. For instance, can ... (read in full...)
How do I get past all the damage my alcoholic husband has caused?
Q. How do I get past all the damage he's caused? My husband is an alcoholic and we've had some major issues in the past. For the past 2 years he gets real mean and aggressive when he drinks a lot. I have left him several times and each time I come ...
A. 10 May 2007: Again, everyone has listed the options that I would be recommending to you as well. First off, never say you can't do something, because you can. I firmly believe, where there is a will, there is a way. AND you can make it. At first you may not see ... (read in full...)
Fidelity and marriage
Q. Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
A. 9 May 2007: So perfectly worded and so true...10 thumbs up!!!!!! Thanks for posting this to the site!!!!! ... (read in full...)
I broke off with him on a Friday but he texted me on a Saturday. I don't get it-what is his problem?
Q. i have been seeing this guy for 6 months,he is 40 i'm 44 we get on quite well,only he trys to make me jealous,tells me not to get attached to him,changes his mind from one week to the next,i finished with him friday night,but saturday night he is ...
A. 9 May 2007: Clue one not to be with him....he is 40 and still smokes pot.(he should have "outgrown" this) Clue two not to be with him...wishy washy and no respect towards you. I wouldn't return any text's or calls and I would walk away from him and meet ... (read in full...)
How do I get past all the damage my alcoholic husband has caused?
Q. How do I get past all the damage he's caused? My husband is an alcoholic and we've had some major issues in the past. For the past 2 years he gets real mean and aggressive when he drinks a lot. I have left him several times and each time I come ...
A. 9 May 2007: I will have to agree to much of what "Penta" has said below. I was married to an alcoholic and he tried to get help several times from rehab's, a half way house and then finally...Alcoholics Anonomous. (AA) BUT, that wasn't till after we separated ... (read in full...)
We've been having an affair for 5 years but we won't leave his family for me - how do I move on?
Q. Help, I'm in love with a man whos 18 years older than me (I'm 28 now) whos married (unhappily) and has 2 kids (both now over 20 years old). We've been together for 5 and a half years. I understand he can't leave her because it will hurt so many ...
A. 9 May 2007: If he was your MR. Right, he would be there...plain and simple. I have been in your shoes and said the exact same thing about someone I too have cared so deeply for and thought HE was MY MR. RIGHT. Unhappy or not, he more then likely will not leave ... (read in full...)
My BF of 6 years wants me to move out of our house to give him a break but I just can't!
Q. help my partner of 6 years has had enough of me. We both own the house, but he wants me to move out for awhile to give us/him a break, and see how we feel. I don't want to move out. I am 45yrs old and before i met my partner owned my own little h...
A. 9 May 2007: If it were me, I would have him move out. He SHOULD understand because you have a child and that to me is to much moving around. However, it does sound as though much is still not clear between the both of you. I think you really need to have a one ... (read in full...)
Why don't guys like tall girls?
Q. ok, im 13 and ive never had a boyfriend because of my height. Why don't guys like tall girls and i masturbate a lot it that normal?...
A. 7 May 2007: I'm not sure how tall you are, but be proud of it! Don't worry about the guys and their height, give them a few years and I am sure they will catch up to you. Young ladies advance/grow much faster then young men do...so don't panic. Before you know ... (read in full...)
I'm disgruntled with life and females! Am I expecting too much to expect just one girl in my lifetime to hang around?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm a good looking 36 year old male who has lost all hope. I used to believe in love, my first girlfriend cheated only to be beatin up by who new lover, she introduced me too. I used to be the nice church going guy, who was waiting ...
A. 6 May 2007: I feel your hurt and pain, believe me I do, but your not the only one who has had the "one after the other syndrome" happen to them. It sucks, I KNOW, but I think maybe we need to take a step back and really think about who we were dating. Were they ... (read in full...)
I have sores on my vagina but I don't know what's causing them, any ideas?
Q. Hi, i recently noticed that i had sores on my vagina and i went to the doctor to get it checked out, the doctor thought it might've been herpes and tested it and the results came back negative. The doctor told me that the only thing i can do is wait ...
A. 5 May 2007: I think I would go to another doctor and fully explain. Let him know you saw one already but you have some major concerns of what you experienced and what the other doctor told you. Then, I don't think I would be having any sex till you are ... (read in full...)
I lost my Father...Does anyone have any advice for how I can step out of this cycle of regret I seem to be in, since he died?
Q. My father died last October and I'm feeling quite upset and regretful for not having enjoyed my life more for him to see while he was alive. He was a beautiful, lovely man and died at 60, well before his time. I am 32 and although I know he was ...
A. 5 May 2007: First, my sympathy to you and your family. Both my parents have passed away. My Dad died at 68 almost 12 yrs ago and my Mom almost 2 yrs ago at 78. My Dad was very sick and you could say we were preparing for it, however, my Mom had a massive heart ... (read in full...)
I want the best for her and do love her but am not "in love" with her. Is this just a phase?
Q. I have been married for a year to a great girl who deserves better than me. We don't have any kids. I had some doubts right before we got hitched but (foolishly) ignored them. There are no really serious problems; it's just "not there". I want ...
A. 28 April 2007: Before thinking of a possible divorce, I really would consider couples counseling...what do you have to lose? If anything, this may be the place you both need to be in where the understanding/really communicating towards each other is expressed ... (read in full...)
Due to get married after 7ys together, not sure if I'm "in love" him, is this just pre-wedding nerves ?
Q. Help!! I have been with my partner for nearly 7 years, we live together and are due to get married in a few months. However - I really dont know if I am doing the right thing! I do love him and he is a great guy - BUT - I just dont think ...
A. 28 April 2007: Besides questioning whether you should marry him, I think you also should question why you have been with him for so long as well. I will say this, if your NOT "in love" with him, I suggest not getting married and either post pone it to get your ... (read in full...)
My brother-in-law is an alcoholic and it's ruining his and his family's lives - He's even crashed a car when drunk! How can I help him?
Q. Hello - I'm not actually having a problem myself, but my brother-in-law (I'll call him Sam) is and my husband and I would like to help. Sam is about to turn 21 and drinks every chance he gets since going away to college. Over the past few yea...
A. 23 April 2007: Sorry...one other thing you mentioned was about his friends...since you are going to talk with the school and see if they have any free help there, which they actually might have some AA meetings held there, I would ask if they know personally any ... (read in full...)
My brother-in-law is an alcoholic and it's ruining his and his family's lives - He's even crashed a car when drunk! How can I help him?
Q. Hello - I'm not actually having a problem myself, but my brother-in-law (I'll call him Sam) is and my husband and I would like to help. Sam is about to turn 21 and drinks every chance he gets since going away to college. Over the past few yea...
A. 23 April 2007: Almost 2 months ago, my nephew of 22 crashed his mothers car. He flew off the highway and turned the car over several times and then hit a tree. The car was upside down for so long and eventually they called the jaws of life out to cut the hood ... (read in full...)
What dress size am I as far as US dress sizes go?
Q. hi there, i was just wondering, does anybody know this? i am living in lebanon and i am a size 31 here but my aunt living back at the states wants to send me some clothes. i have lost about 11 lbs since october that i have been there where i was ...
A. 22 April 2007: Any possiblity of giving your height and your current weight in pounds? And do you mean when you were here in the US, you were wearing a size 10-12 in pants or blouses or both? Height can also play a factor in being a petite or tall size as well. ... (read in full...)
My husband is a drunk! I dread coming home and I cant bare him touching me, Do I stay and get him help or leave ?
Q. my husband has a drink problem, we have been together for 8 years and married for 4, at first i never noticed how much he was drinking. my husband is a jekel amd hyde, when he is sober its like we have jsut met, he is kind funny and great to be ...
A. 17 April 2007: Being married once to an alcoholic, I truly understand how you feel. I have walked in your shoe's and have had the same feelings as you have. HOWEVER, what I realized and learned, is that no matter what, YOU cannot change, fix or make him become ... (read in full...)
How can I leave him?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid; I need your help to give me advice and strength to get out of a relationship I am not supposed to be in.... I am in love with a married man ! Sounds aweful right ? I know, I blame myself everyday. He is a much o...
A. 12 April 2007: Dear Confused, first, know that I am not here to blame or be upset that you have been having an affair with a married man. But what I will tell you is this, it is a dead end situation. He enjoys your company, and sure, he will tell you he loves ... (read in full...)
I've decided to leave my husband... but how do I find the strength to actually do it?
Q. I have decided in my mind that I need to leave my husband. I am seeing a psychologist that feels this would be the best thing for me as well, being that my heart and love is not with him. The problem is I am scared, and worried about him. I told ...
A. 29 March 2007: I wish you all the luck in the world and it sounds like you are going to be just fine!!!! You will get through this, it just takes time. As hard as if may be, stay strong and know we are an email away!!! Good Luck!!!... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish? Sometimes I think yes but then if they are unhappily married maybe they shouldn't be together anyway???
Q. im having an affair with a married man from work (my boss) we have fallen in love and he say's he will leave his wife for me but i've told him not to as he should leave because he wants to, not for me as i cant promise that we will be together ...
A. 27 March 2007: Been in your shoe's and yes it is wrong. IF he is that unhappy in his marriage, he will divorce in HIS own time, not because he should because of you. Majority of the time, those men or women who do leave their spouse for another person, the ... (read in full...)
Would you generally agree that women feel they have to be more secretive because of pressure from societal norms?
Q. Would you agree that most women would want to be secretive about getting sex when they want it? An example for the basic premise here, the single woman who is seeing a married man with kids? Would you generally agree that women feel they have ...
A. 27 March 2007: I personally don't believe that women are "more" secretive about wanting sex. In the example you gave, I WAS the single woman who was seeing a married man with kids, fell in love, however, he decided to work things out with his wife and might I add, ... (read in full...)
Do guys sometimes need to be single for a while to see if anyone else will feel the same?
Q. I'm feeling so hurt and so sad and upset.. that after all 9 months with the guy I believed and loved with all my heart. Everything all the dreams of future is not there now.. He is dating around to see if it helps him to get over me he said he ...
A. 25 March 2007: I really feel for you and I mean that, however, there is no way anyone can tell you whether or not he will indeed come back to you to work this out. I know you want him back, but the best thing to do is leave him alone. If he decides on his own to ... (read in full...)
I found out after turning up at her work place that she had moved on with someone else.
Q. My ex partner of 17 years decided to leave without any explanation. I tried to get closure but didn't get any joy. I found out after turning up at her work place that she had moved on with someone else. When her new boyfriend turned up to pick her ...
A. 25 March 2007: It certainly sounds as if she may have been seeing someone else I am sorry to say. I know how we all want and desire to have that closure, especially when we really are in love with someone, but sometimes, it's not meant to be for us to have or find ... (read in full...)
I am paying for two houses for two women who would be far better off without me.
Q. My life is a mess and i dont know how to carry on I have a lovely little boy, a wife who loves me, a girlfriend who adores me, a great job and a comfortable lifestyle. 6 years ago i had an affair and left, i was really in love and realised this...
A. 25 March 2007: In your relationship, I have been the "girlfriend" on the other side of the fence. What I have relized is that he was not "in love" with me, he just had some "issues" at home and really needed a good sit down talk with his wife AND work on what ... (read in full...)
Huge trust problems with my partner. Can anyone advise me on what I should do?
Q. I really need an answer to this problem... I am a very honest and devoted person and seem to have alot of trust issues with my partner. He hides alot of things from me, and lies alot. He has kids by 3 different women which I went thr...
A. 24 March 2007: I see your gut is telling you something...and it's probably RIGHT. I will not tell you to leave or stay, BUT what I will tell you is, if he is not being honest with you about anything, I would never feel secure in this relationship. It really sounds ... (read in full...)
Is it cheating when your bf goes to strip clubs and likes lap dancing?
Q. my b/f does not think strip clubs or lap dances are cheating..i have been with him for about 2 years and i dont think he has been to one since i have been with him..maybe he went one night but i dont know for sure..he says maybe its wrong to do ...
A. 24 March 2007: If he's not going to one, drop it! Be glad he's not and let him know that your happy that he has not ever fallen in to that catagory of those who do. From my past experience, my ex-husband would go and I never new it. (he was an alcoholic) Thought ... (read in full...)
I want marriage before kids...how can I make my partner understand that?
Q. I am 32 years old a single mother for that past 10 years and I've finally found love again. We've been dating from a distance for the past 6 months and I am preparing to move out of state with my daughter to live with him. Our intention is to be ...
A. 24 March 2007: First of all...Congratulations with your new love! I applaud you for wanting to be married first. I can truly understand that, however, as you mentioned, there is no guarantee that ANY marriage will last forever. Being said, what I do believe is on ... (read in full...)
I suspected he liked another female and he denied it. Now he's dumped me and I am crushed! What can I do to move on?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up in January. We lived together for nearly 2 years... and although we had our issues it was going well especially up until October. Then this girl at work becomes interested (which i insisted she was regardless ...
A. 24 March 2007: Cheer up my dear! Move on gracefully with a smile on your face...and EVERYDAY you should have a smile! If you should pass by them, don't worry, because you are a happy, beautiful lady who know's how to move on and meet new friends! I know you are ... (read in full...)
I want sex and my man hasn't touched me in 9 months! What should I do?
Q. I find myself being vibrant and wanting to have sex, but my man hasn't touched me in 9 months. I'm really frustrated and haven't cheated on him. He says it's my attitude, but for 9 months? How come I'm good enough to cook, but not to be intimate ...
A. 24 March 2007: I guess what I don't know is - is if the two of you have been fighting in those 9 months, you mention he says you have a bad attitude. Honestly, do you? I don't think I know of 1 man that could go without for 9 months myself! Because you haven't ... (read in full...)
I dont think my guy is telling me all the details about this woman thats calling him up!!
Q. I have this gut feeling that my BF is receiving calls from a womam he use to date - not that he is intersted, but I dont' think he's telling me all the details for fear that I'll get mad. He always tells me that he'll be honest and let me know if ...
A. 24 March 2007: As woman to woman....and as much as I hate to say this, go with your gut! I firmly believe "we" have that gift to "just know" when something is NOT right! I do pray I am wrong for your sake, however, he is NOT guilty until you can prove it. Good ... (read in full...)
Im in love with my friend and dont know what to do!!
Q. I have fallen in love with my friend, and things have been gettting really difficult for me. He doesnt know how i feel at all. I sometimes think he has feelings for me to coz of the way he is with me (we have a close friendship). We dont have any ...
A. 24 March 2007: Unless I am misunderstanding, it seems as though you two have not even met up much at all. I have always been told and I am sure you have heard it...if it was meant to be, it will be. It seems you two do alot of talking by phone. There's nothing ... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever ordered cell phone reccords for someone elses number?
Q. Has anyone ever ordered cell phone reccords for someone elses number?...
A. 22 March 2007: I have never done it myself, however, I know that it can be done. Go online and type in "how to get cell phone numbers" and different web sites will appear. Choose one that best fits your needs of what all you want. Many people, collection ... (read in full...)
What attracts you to a man? What do you look for in a man?
Q. Dear Ladys What attracts you to a man? What do you look for in a man? Thanks...
A. 22 March 2007: What attracts me to a man first is his sense of humor/personality/brains. (combined all in one) Without that, I don't think I could even date the guy. I like a guy to be funny at times, who has a charming personality and also be smart..not Einstein ... (read in full...)
It's as if he's leading two seperate lives!
Q. I have been dating this man for 2 years. I have some suspicion that he's seeing other people. We have both agreed that we would not see other people and this was a serious relationship. I am concerned because he hides his cell, when he's not with ...
A. 20 March 2007: I can understand your fear, however, it sounds like the both of you need to have a heart to heart talk about this. It's not worth playing the spy game, confront him about this. Then, if in the future you should find out he was seeing someone else, ... (read in full...)
Why am I finding it so hard to give someone a second chance!?
Q. Why do i find it so hard to give a second chance to a person when i realize that they have been cheating on me or were not honest about certain things and hurt me for some reason. This despite of the fact the person may have realized their mistake ...
A. 19 March 2007: I have to admit I agree with "Confused88". Trust is the center of any relationship whether your just friends or in a marriage. Once the trust is broken, sure, you want to rebuild that relationship telling yourself it will be different because I ... (read in full...)
I let worrisome things about this relationship get the best of me! Why do I do this?
Q. I'm currently in my longest relationship (of all of 4 1/2 months) and its long distance. I guess you could say I'm somewhat obsessed with my boyfriend. I think about him constantly and when he does things like not call for a day or two or dosn't ...
A. 19 March 2007: I will admit long distance relationships can be hard, however, as long as you make the most of your talks by cell or emails you can have a wonderful relationship. As he has things to occupy his day, so should you. One suggestion is to try to find ... (read in full...)
I've decided to leave my husband... but how do I find the strength to actually do it?
Q. I have decided in my mind that I need to leave my husband. I am seeing a psychologist that feels this would be the best thing for me as well, being that my heart and love is not with him. The problem is I am scared, and worried about him. I told ...
A. 3 March 2007: Been there and done that. It's extremely hard to get the "things" out of our head that someone has done to us. You really have to WANT to get them out and the desire to make it work with your spouse. I don't know what started your husbands ... (read in full...)
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