A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Midge + ♥, writes (13 September 2007):
 Right, you are setting yourself up for heartache and possibly more grief than you need by still remaining in contact with her.
You are better than that! Leave her alone!!!!
Its hard, we all know that. I have also lost loves in the past, but I got over it by not having any contact with them. Whilst you still have contact with her, you cannot get over her.
She probably told you to leave her alone etc, because she only wants you when it suites her, and thats just not fair.
From everything that you have told me about this girl, I cannot think of one good and nice thing that she has done to you, so why are you going back for more? Leave her be as difficult as what it is! She is no good for you!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've decided that, as hard as it is, I've got to forget her. I can't keep on like this. As my sister says, every time I come back from meeting her I mope around, because she's hurt me again. I'm just fed up with her constant lying, deceiving, cheating, and hurting me.
I texted her today to ask how she was and she said 'Leave me alone or I'll tell my father'. One text and she tells me that, although I don't know whether that's a scare tactic or not. Was it?
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A
female
reader, Midge + ♥, writes (3 September 2007):
You do nothing! You dont want her hassle and grief!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe phoned me this morning at 1.24 after weeks of not talking; when I didn't answer, she texted me saying 'call me, I'm bored and p****d. What can I do?
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female
reader, Midge + ♥, writes (15 August 2007):
Dont do anything!!!!
Do not write, text or phone her! She will play mind games with you and hurt you again and worse!
Its never easy to get over someone that you think you are in love with. But the fact that she did what she did to you makes it that much harder to get over.
Seriously, dont let her get the better of you and dont contact her no matter how tempting it is.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhy am I finding it so hard to get over her? It's so tempting to text or email! Do you think if I write a letter to her it might help? (Strange question I know)
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female
reader, Midge + ♥, writes (10 August 2007):
As I have said to you before, some people like to see others hurt and they like to do the hurting. It makes them feel so much more important than they are. (Or so they think!)
You havent done anything wrong other than be open and honest with her. She is just bad news unfortunately and someone so vandictive, you just need to stay away from no matter how hard it is!
You will find the right woman for you, who will love YOU for YOU and not what they can get out of you! She will come along some day, just dont beat yourself up if it doesnt happen today. She is out there, waiting for you and she will make you forget all about this little vandictive, sadistic kid! Thats exactly what she is, a child!
Forget her and move on!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhy did she do this to me?
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A
female
reader, Midge + ♥, writes (16 July 2007):
Its nothing you have done. She sounds like a very vendictive type of person.
When someone says they want you, it doesnt always revolve around sex, so dont think that all girls are the same.
Just hang in there, the right girl will come around some time! When you are least expecting it!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhen she said she wanted me, did she mean she just wanted sex from me instead of just me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhy does every relationship I have with a girl last only 2 months?!Tash lived 3 hrs away - even though we talked and texted, I said I couldnt go up and see her for 2 weeks because of work, and she cheatedand now Jen's cheatedWhat am I doing wrong? And why is it so hard for me to ignore her?...
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A
female
reader, Midge + ♥, writes (7 July 2007):
Firstly, if she is so repulsed by your disability, why didnt she just say "thanks but no thanks" to start with. Instead she plays mind games and gives you attitude because you wont jump to her command!
Look, she just isnt worth it! Stop reading her texts, emails etc. Just drop this girl like a hot potato! She doesnt deserve your friendship or trust!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've got one more post:
She sent me an email a couple of weeks ago, saying she was repulsed by my disability at first, but thought she was getting a second chance (she did, but a second chance to her means sex!). Was that rude, or what?!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did think about asking her why she stood me up.
If I'd have carried on with this relationship, I fear nothing would have changed!
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A
female
reader, Midge + ♥, writes (4 July 2007):
Finally the penny has dropped! As difficult as it may be, you have made the best decision ever!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've decided I'm fed up with being used as a doormat, because if I had have stayed with her, she'd have done it again and again
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A
female
reader, beth88 +, writes (2 July 2007):
 This sounds like quite a few girls I went to school with, most of them, I wish I didn't know. They're sneaky, cruel, and overall horrible to watch unsuspecting goodguys get involved with.
The best part of all, they tend to all dislike me, because I ruin their havoc-fun. =D
To be blunt, I'd quit wasting my time on this girl. Block her numbers, don't answer her texts. Just delete them as they come, don't even read them. She's feeding you bollocks by the spoonful, and I'd have turned her out forever ago.
You're in your mid-late 20's? I'd begin dating younger 20 year-olds. You need someone closer to your maturity level. There's few 18-19 year olds that should even be dating, and you need someone that's ready to begin a caring relationship that involves love AS WELL AS lust.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHow does she keep giving you false hope, mate? (if you don't mind telling me)
It was the final straw on Friday
She asked me (or persuaded even) to meet her at Maidstone (20 min train away), got there, got a text five mins later - got to cancel on you, just fainted. I thought ok! I texted back and said I'm here now, might as werll wait for a bit. She said she'd meet me after she's had her lunch. I waited nearly 2 hours (even arranged to meet outside a specific shop), texted her, called her, no reply, just gave up in the end.
My guess is unless they find a person who'm they're not quickly bored by, they move on to the next one
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A
female
reader, Midge + ♥, writes (21 June 2007):
I wouldnt worry about it to be honest. It sounds as though you have some kind of stress reaction, but if you are concerned or it persists and doesnt get better, I would suggest that you speak to your doctor sooner rather than later.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't know if this is connected but I have got a very bad throat, feel upset and sometimes depressed. When Tash left me I got a sore throat, when my other friend turned me down I got a sore throat and felt awful, and now Jen, shall I see a doctor to see what's happening?
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female
reader, Midge + ♥, writes (20 June 2007):
You said it, its the last straw! Call it a day and be done with her! As said before, some people get a kick out of seeing others suffer. They are no better than pond scum! Honestly you are so much better off without her!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe last straw was when she told me she likes hurting men, and she gets some kind of kick out of it! How sick is that!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am just going to ignore her now and see what she does.
I am going on a date next week with a girl called Sophie; she is 19, so hoperfully this one will go alright
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A
male
reader, Dr Pete + ♥, writes (18 June 2007):
 You're 27 - get a grip of yourself, stop emailing and contacting this girl when you know messed up she is. She obviously has issues, and so do you if you want to keep playing along to them.
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A
female
reader, Midge + ♥, writes (18 June 2007):
Firstly, you havent done anything wrong, so her giving you the sob story about "you putting her in hospital", is absolute bull. She shouldnt have told lies and been so deceitfull to start with. Had she been honest and acted her age, this would never have happened, so DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!!!!
Secondly, if she genuinely does have a habit that she has been in rehab before, she should have told you this a long time ago. One should never keep secrets like that from the one you are "supposed to love".
She honestly is now playing the drama card, and I do hope that you are not falling for it!
Even if all this is true, she cannot blame you for her being put into hospital etc as you were only doing the right thing by being honest. That is all anyone can ask for!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI sent that email asking her to act her age, before I knew anytthing about her rehab (if that's true) and now she's just told me she's going to hospital because of 'what I've done'!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe told me yesterday that she acts like a kid because she was on the streets and in rehab. Also, she told me she ejoys hurting men!
I'm just going to ignore her, and carry on with my life.
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A
female
reader, Midge + ♥, writes (13 June 2007):
You are finally understanding that this girl is not worth holding on to because she WILL hurt you!!!
This manipulation thing is an old trick that so many people use today, and unfortunately it works on a lot of people. They know they are hurting people, but dont care unless they get what THEY want. To hell with what the other person feels!
I wouldnt waist my time writing to her, because she will probably just start all over again with the "I want you in my life" bit and again you will probably fall for it.
If you do write her, I truly hope that you tell her in no uncertain terms that you want no further communication with her, and that being friends will not be an option as she just uses people.
Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLast night she told me she had a boyfriend; I don't know what to think this time, as that email she sent at the weekend was full of 'I can't live without you' and 'I dont wanna lose you and I want you in my life' and then when another (excuse my language f***buddy (poor excuse for a bf) comes along, all of a sudden, she asks me to leave her alone! The hard part is I really like her! Even my friends say she's manipulating me, and trying to get her own way. Also, how childish, going to find another man to have sex with, 3 days after I refused her, and also getting a substitute boyfriend (sexbuddy) after she knew I'd have liked another chance (dont know why!) My friend also said she's trying to mould me into a person I'm not. Basically, she wants a relationship with me when I'm not a 'kid'!I am going to have to write her a firm but fair email explaining these thingsOne more pointer that this isn't working:The friend that helped me through my relationship breakup with Tash - I find it easier to talk to her and she's only a friend! I can joke with her, take the mick, and she doesn't call me a kid! So, either she's been treated so badly by men that she thinks that she will again, or she doesn't consciously know she's doing itWhen she gets upset, she still says its my fault!So, I think I know who the kid here is!
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A
female
reader, Midge + ♥, writes (12 June 2007):
Right, I think it is safe to say that the kid here is her!
You are getting yourself too deep into something that is perhaps nothing, and you are gonna hurt yourself!
You have already started having feelings for this girl, and I say girl because that is exactly what she is acting like! A little girl!
I am sorry if this seems rather blunt, but I would hate for you to get hurt by her because she is too immature to see the what she is doing! She is playing mind games with you!
If it were me, I would rather call it quits while I was ahead, saving myself from the hurt later!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOn Friday we had a conversation, I texted her to say that I was thinking of her, and she said I was acting like a kid (since when has a complimentary text meant acting like a kid?!)I left her alone on Saturday (apart from some small romantic texts). On Sunday, she came on MSN, and said I was acting like a kid, then an hour later she apologised.Yesterday morning I texted to say good morning and she said to me 'I bet u dreamt of us having sex; naybe you wont have to wait long hehe'. I texted her later in the day to make sure she was okay.This morning she tells me I'm acting like a kid again! And she doesn't want a relationship with 'a kid' (Thats why she cant hold a relationship down because everyone acts like na child sometimes)Then about an hour or so later, from when she accuses me of acting like a kid, she sends me messages saying 'Can you forgive me?', which I do. Why do I keep on doing it?
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A
female
reader, Midge + ♥, writes (11 June 2007):
You have just nailed it on the head then. She obviously doesnt love you, its just lust! If she has a track record of being like that and doing that to her partners, who you honestly want that? Even if just for a short time? Would you want to be taken for a ride by someone that is just going to use you and when they have had what they want from you, chuck you?
Personally I take my relationships very seriously and I wouldnt want to be used by anyone even if just for a short time. I have been there and I didnt like it!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do trust her, but I think thats why she told me her longest relationship was 6 months, cos she has sex with other men (only a guess). And she keeps on saying she loves me; how can she love me when she jumped into bed with another man 3 days after I didnt make out with her?!
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A
female
reader, Midge + ♥, writes (9 June 2007):
Well you have actually just answered your own question really. You said that you didnt want her to have sex with other men, which means that you dont trust her. A relationship is based on trust, and it wont be a relationship if you dont trust her 100%.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): 6 flags is fun!!! =p ....well, why dont you just ask her what she likes to do!!!! ;-]
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI feel strongly about her, but on the other hand, I donb't want to get hurt six months down the line, or have a girlfriend that may be having sex with other men!
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A
female
reader, Midge + ♥, writes (7 June 2007):
Okay, the question here is, "How do you feel about her?"
If you like this girl, then you need to sit down with her and tell her. If you are not sure, then there is your answer.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people that play the game of sending mixed signals. They seem to get a perverse pleasure out of doing it because it drives their victim crazy and the victim tends to want them even more for it. Which quite frankly, I dont understand!
She is being completely unfair by sending mixed messages, and high sex drive or not, you DO NOT cheat on someone that you say you love and want to be with.
This is now crunch time. You need to make a decision if you want to be with someone that is sending mixed messages, possibly has a tendency to cheat since she says she has a very high sex drive, and very open about having this very high sex drive. Which in my opinion is not something you tell someone on the first, second or third date!
Make a decision and stick to it! You deserve so much more from a relationship!! A relationship is all about knowing exactly where you stand, and you havent a clue where you stand with this girl!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI take all your advice on board, but she is really confusing the hell out of me now!She sent me an email on Saturday saying that she doesn't know what to do anymore, and that she has deep feelings for me but can't explain them, and that when we talk I annoy her sometimes but she misses me and gets upset when I don't talk or chat to her. She says she can't stop thinking about me and when she closes her eyes, I'm there. She even told me she has had erotic dreams about me! She says she's fearful of a relationship because of how she's been treated in the past, but she keeps on saying she loves me.I'm getting mixed signals here and I still don't know what to do!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, you're right; I don't want a girlfriend that gets upset at me being sarcastic, and pressurizes me.
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female
reader, Cateyes  + ♥, writes (2 June 2007):
 NO, unless that is what you are looking for, but I don't think you are. I would wait until you meet someone new....and she will come along. Just be patient. This girl doesn't seem very kind to you and you don't want to be with someone who tells you off! Move on to someone else is what I would do. You will find her!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDo I really want a girlfriend who
is paranoid?
just wants sex from me?
who just wants (in her words) sex and a laugh)?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe's also a bit paranoid, then she tells me off for being paranoid
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe's not the easiest person to talk to; one minute she just wants friends, next she wants a relationship! I don't know if there is really another lad on the scene as she admitted to me yesterday (she said she's been beaten up in the past) that she hadn't been abused, and the things she talked about (intimate things)
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female
reader, Cateyes + ♥, writes (31 May 2007):
I really think you BOTH need to sit down and talk about your relationship and excatly what you want to get from it because I would hate to see you get hurt by her. It saddens me though to hear her say she wouldn't have done what she did because you didnt' "make out" with her. I would "think" if she was a lady, she wouldn't be trying to rush in to it AND she would respect you for not doing so. Confused here!!! Like I said though, have a talk with her and find out what she expects from you and visa versa, and remember....the number one thing that also ruins a relationship is not communicating where each understands one another fully. Best Wishes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe also said last Thursday if I'd made out with her, she would have stayed with me, but I reckon that was a lie
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