A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:me and my girl have been together for three years now and it seems if she is losing interest in me. i noticed that she has been under a lot of stress lately due to bills etc. i havent been working for about 2 weeks and she takes ger frustration out on me. i do everything she asks me to do and i pay whatever i can and give her money when she needs it. the thing is when i dont have money to give her she gets very moody and bitchy. she doesnt want sex anymore because she says she is stressed out and has other things on her mind. i can understand that but, not 24 - 7. another thing is that i know she is flirty and i have a feeling that she is cheating on me because of the simple fact that i am slow on making ends meet at the moment. itz hard for me to get jobs because of my background and she knows this but she is still not very supportive anymore. she thinks about herself and her friends more than she thinks about me. i always put her first before anyone else including myself. i have a feeling that she found interest in someone else to pick up the slack of mine. am i being tooo sensitive? i jus want my girl to cater to me again like i do to her. how can i get my girl back? what do i do? im confused. please help anybody.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): I have gone through a similar situation. We were both working but still the fact of all of the bills coming in and trying so hard to make ends meet made me so frusterated. My boyfriend kept saying things like he thought I was losing interest or had another boyfriend. Now granted I did go out more often but it wasn't because I was seeing anyone else it was just because being in a home that was causing me nothing but stress for the moment made me even more angry. Granted she shouldn't be taking it out on you but I'm sure it's hard for her with you not working. Switch the situation, wouldn't you be upset at times? If she was seeing someone else and was that stressed I would think she would have left by now. But since I assume she hasn't that means she loves you and wants to stick it out. Love is all about the hard times. You can't have good ones without the bad. The situaion with sex, have you tried taking it slowly without the intentions of having sex? Do something for her to make her relaxed. Clean the house, make her dinner, draw her a bath and sit and talk with her, about anything. Then maybe once she feels relaxed it might be easier for her to keep her mind focused on you for a change. When you have so many things on your mind about home and work and bills, it is really hard sometimes to remember what's important and it's easy to forget about the person you are doing it all for. Hope this helps and everyything works out!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2007): Hi love, First i must say i dont like that word cater hunny your not working for each other your working together, But i see your point loud and clear, you are feeling like the only one putting in at the mo... its not nice when a relationship goes wrong because of lifes difficultys. Have you got absolute proof she may be cheating has anyone said anything to you? or is she doing things she wouldnt normally do i.e going out alot more alone. It sounds to me like the stresses of the money situation are getting to the both of you, does your girlfriend work? Because if all the pressure is on you then thats hard for you. And for her to be cross with you that will not be helping. Its hard enough trying to find a job these days if like you say you have had a hard time in the passed. we all make mistakes that we dont realise will affect our future. But thats how we learn and grow. Hun men are aloud to be sensitive i find that a good quality in a man, i no this is a hard situation but you need to sit down together and talk NOT SHOUT! Maybe grab a picnic take her out and sit down somewere nice and let it all out, get to the bottom of how you both feel and go from there, Sweety i do hope you find a job soon and your money worries are on the mend and i also hope that you can work this out. You really need to have a good talk ABOUT EVERYTHING! Then you will have more of an idea were you stand i do hope i helped a little.... Take care of both of you and good luck xx
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A
female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (10 June 2007):
 I know when I am stressed out, I can be quite moody. The thing is, even though I might be this way, it doesn't last for long. The reason, I understand the situation...and I realize it won't be like this forever. It's like saying I come back down to earth. You are quite young, so this leads me to believe your girlfriend is to and she has not "grown" in that area. When you love someone, you will do what ever it takes as a couple to get through the rough times, because there will always be rough times. There is no smooth sailing in any relationship. My suggestion to you would be to have a sit down talk with her and explain this bit by bit...so she understands this completely. Let her know you are looking for a job daily or remind her that when you have money you always give it to her and that you are doing the best you can. Assure her you love her and that both of you will get through this, but also let her know you need her support as well. She needs to be there for you as well or you will start to feel as if she doesn't love you or care for you. The part that I hate to say is....if she doesn't change, this will probably tell you what kind of a woman she is deep down and maybe it's best for you to know before you decide to settle down...permanently. You didn't mention that part, but I will assume. There are plenty of women who just want the perfect world and the perfect everything....where nothing can go wrong or happen in there life. Sadly, it doesn't work that way. I wish you luck in your job hunting and hope things work out better for the both of you.
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