A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Abstaining from sex till marriage?I’m a virgin, abstaining from sex till marriage. My main fear, if I’m even lucky enough to find love is that if my partner might cheat on me. The only reason I fear this is because of what I’ve heard in the media, it just seems to me that most people are having affairs and are never happy being in a relationship. My other fear is dying a virgin. If I do die a virgin, I’ll die a virgin because I would rather that than go against my beliefs and I would hate to treat women like sex objects and I refuse to lose my virginity that way. And as I’m fine with not having sex, meaning it’s something I can live without then that’s fine with me. As well as not having children.
View related questions:
affair Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Cateyes  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 First I applaud you!! And you cannot go in to a marriage thinking is she going to cheat on you or will we get divorced. You need to be really positive in your thinking and work towards your happy relationship everyday. Notice I said EVERYDAY. Most of the time, that is why people cheat, the spouse takes the other for granted and just assumes he or she knows they love them. You can't do that. No one should do that. But, because it's so easy to get a divorce now a days, it's no big deal nor is it important to so many people, and that does really hurt me and what I believe as well. You will meet the right her and she will love you for not only who you are, but what you believe.
Good Luck and God Bless!!
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 The choice you made is not easy. It takes a lot of restraint. You are asking for my opinion though, and I will give it...
Have you come to terms with how you will feel if your future wife is NOT a virgin? Are you actively looking for a virgin, or will accept a wife with sexual experience. My work with adult aged male virgins suggests to me that man men underestimate how much it will bother them that their girlfriends/wives are not virgins. Look at some of the other threads on this site about guys not being able to deal with her sexual pasts. Be realistic about this.
Next, being a virgin when married is not more likely to make her cheat on you. It is not less likely to make her cheat. I think it will be harder as you get older, even with a wife, becuase you both might feel you "missed out". Mid-life crisis will hit hard if you find no peace with that.
People will cheat for their own reasons. Their values and having the opportunities factor in greatly.
After you are married, I urge you to learn everything you can about becoming a skillful lover. It is doubtful you will be any good the first few times, and all the love in the world from her, will not make dealing with sexual fustration any eaiser.
I would also suggest to stop masterbating. You are training your body to react to your own touch, and you will struggle to function with a real woman, as your body will not be used to the new sensations.
These are a handful of the issues I help adult male virgins with in my seminars...but my seminars are for those guys that Want to lose their virginities.
Take care.
-Frank B Kermit
franktalks.com
...............................
A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (23 May 2007):
I dont think you will have this problem if you find a woman with the same beliefs and morals as you. There are woman out there that dont believe in sex before marriage. And if a woman did cheat on you, shes obviously not the person your ment to marry.
...............................
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (23 May 2007):
 I've made the same choice, and I stand behind it. Most people I've asked about it tell me that I've made the right choice. I've been told many stories about friends waking up next to people the next day, and regretting it. It's good that you want it to mean something. Stand your ground.
DV1
...............................
|
