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... Send *ateyes a private message | | | *ateyes's profile:Hi...I'm Norma!
I live in the great state of Texas - born and raised in Houston. I have been divorced for 13yrs and have no children.(nor any plans - giving birth that is!) I am 43yrs young and enjoy my everday life! I have an excellent career as a VP & Branch Manager.
I can only say that any advise coming from me, would be an honest one. Mostly, it's from the heart, added with a touch of brains, common sense and compassion. I think everyone has done "something" in their life and has learned from it. For those of us who have, if we can help someone else not make the same mistake or maybe we might have first hand experience in, what a blessing that can be.
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| Latest articles: Till Death Do We Part - A True Story
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 June 2007: Doesn't anybody stay together anymore? In this day and time, it is so easy to get a divorce or even better...just live together to "see if it works out" first. Don't get me wrong, I personally believe there are good reasons to divorce, and I know I ...
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I am in a bit of a quandry whether I am just waisting my time in this relationship
Q. Dear agony aunts... I'm in a bit of a quandary here at the moment... I'm with my boyf of 18 months and love him to bits and would do anything for him and I know he is mad about me too cos he has told me... but he also said that he will never marry...
A. 20 July 2007: This may be hard to understand, but I hope you do....I believe "some" men will tell you things you want to hear and will also tell you things you don't want to hear and the things that they tell you that you don't want to hear..are the truth. Now, ... (read in full...)
I know that he deals with anger by displacing it on others and I don't want to be the one he takes it out on.
Q. Dear Cupid, I am in relationship with a man who has problems communicating. When he is angry, instead of discussing what's wrong he will displace his frustrations by making mean or negative comments and avoid the real issue. Recently a close...
A. 19 July 2007: I'm not sure "how" close you are to him or how long you 2 have been in your relationship, however, I would let him know that you are always there for him...whether it's by phone, a sympathy card or even in person for a quick minute. It is good to ... (read in full...)
He said he needed to clear his head, and now I havent heard from him
Q. i was seeing a guy. he acted like he realy liked me. everything was going real good. one day i was with him, and the next day he called and said he needed to clear his head . i havnt heard from him and i was wondering if he will call again or if i ...
A. 19 July 2007: Personally, it doesn't matter what he said to you, if he wanted to be there, he would. A guy (or gal for that matter) can say alot of things, but it's whether or not they have any actions to back it up. If he said he wanted to clear his head...he ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want to pursue an online relationship?
Q. Is it wrong to want to pursue an online relationship? I am a single father of 2, and honestly I can't find the time to talk any women except for when the kids are in bed. Along with that, are any ladies interested?...
A. 19 July 2007: I don't think there is anything wrong personally, but I will admit, some people are out just to get their kicks...and that's it. In other words, they could be having a lot of "fun" with you, but break your heart in the long run. Not that that ... (read in full...)
I still can’t seem to let go of the fact that the man I truly loved and gave my whole entire life and being to and made future plans and left me for the mother of his unborn child.
Q. I still can’t seem to let go of the fact that the man I truly loved and gave my whole entire life and being to and made future plans and left me for the mother of his unborn child. I keep wondering whether this child really is his or whether she ...
A. 18 July 2007: Sorry...the song is called "Gold" by Beverly Knight...
Listen to it.... ... (read in full...)
I still can’t seem to let go of the fact that the man I truly loved and gave my whole entire life and being to and made future plans and left me for the mother of his unborn child.
Q. I still can’t seem to let go of the fact that the man I truly loved and gave my whole entire life and being to and made future plans and left me for the mother of his unborn child. I keep wondering whether this child really is his or whether she ...
A. 18 July 2007: Alicia...where is your self worth? You should not base another person to "make" you feel happy, you should be happy with or without someone..period! You do not have to have a man in your life to "make" you happy...wake up!
He made a decision... (read in full...)
My wife wants to leave. How do I save our marriage?
Q. i have been with my wife for nearly 20 years, she tells me her feelings aren't the same for me anymore. she has lost alot of weight in the past six months,she seems so confused, i have told her to see a doctor but she wont, now she wants to leave ...
A. 18 July 2007: If you could be a little more specific, I think more of us could try and assist you or at least give you some options. Why does she feel her feelings are not the same? How and why did she lose weight? Why do you say she is confused? Why did you ... (read in full...)
Is six to eight bottles of alcohol a weekend-every weekend too much?
Q. Does my husband have a problem with drinking? i have been with my husband for 13 years.when we were 20 we drank at christmas,nights out or special occasions.this is the way its been for the past 12 and a half years.alchol never really intereste...
A. 17 July 2007: The answer to your question is yes. However, once being married to an alcoholic, I will agree from what "Frank B. Kermit" stated, that he may be having some work problems and/or even home problems that you may and may not be aware of and just not ... (read in full...)
Since the abortion in January I think my character has changed: I feel insecure about EVERYTHING
Q. Help! I had an abortion in January, after getting pregnant by my first ever boyfriend who I was - and still am - madly in love with. We both got through it, mainly by keeping it top secret from everyone apart from my parents, who paid for the ...
A. 17 July 2007: You are probably feeling guilty, shameful, maybe even some hatred, rage, grief,...basically...just not a happy person and for a good reason why. I will not judge you, because what happened to you and what you experienced, was the hardest thing to ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me and doesn't love his girlfriend (who he has three kids with) anymore - but he hasn't left her yet!
Q. im 25 with 3 children and have been seein a man for 4 years he has kids and a girlfriend,he has been telling me since just before xmas that he loves me and doesnt love her anymore wants to be with me but finds it hard to leave cause of his kids, i ...
A. 17 July 2007: "If" he really loves you, then nothing, and I mean nothing, would come between you two. I say that because IF he really loved and cared about you, all his time would be missing and thinking of nothing but to be with you. Don't get me wrong, I'm ... (read in full...)
He doesn't show me his love the way I need him to show me! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 4 about 2 1/2 years. Im very in love with him but he doesnt take me or the relationship seriously.He doesnt pay enough attention to my needs and I have emotional needs.I know he loves me but he doesnt show me ...
A. 17 July 2007: First off, I agree with "Been There Done That" and "Jonty" both. I'm not going to say what they already stated, but what I will add is this, if you have already told him how you feel and IF you are not a "clingy" type person who must hear "I Love ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to pay for sex as long as you're very careful?
Q. I am male, who is mssing sex. is it okay to pay for a shag, as long s you are very careful.....
A. 14 July 2007: No, I don't feel it is ok. Why don't you meet some nice lady who would be interested in you, spend the money on her out for dinner and who knows after that? Are you just not wanting a "real" relationship or what? Nice lady or hooker, you can ... (read in full...)
I can't climax though sex alone - is there anything I can do to change this?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend 8 months and i love him very much. He has been my first and only sexual partner. I was his second but i am the only person he has ever had sex with without a condom. Anyway i have no problem reaching orgasm during oral ...
A. 11 July 2007: I think the word we are looking for is....RELAX! I will say, it's not like it "came" easy. It's something you have to work at. When I was much younger, I didn't even know what that was (probably because we didn't talk about alot of things back ... (read in full...)
My best friend just died and I'm feeling depressed all the time and can't shake myself out of it.
Q. My best friend just died and it's like someone has just shot me, run me over and all that. I find it hard because we were so close and now I'm depressed and can't shake out of it like I did last time. Any ideas?...
A. 11 July 2007: My sympathy to you and the family. The loss of a loved one is the most difficult time to be in. You are shattered, you are hurt, you are lonesome, you are depressed and you even can feel lost at times through out the day. These are normal feelings ... (read in full...)
Can someone help me sort out my life and show me how to have a positive outlook?
Q. hey guys just wanted your help plz. I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 7 months, we have a good relationship. I don't know whether I'm in love with her, but I do feel close to her. She says she has never felt like this for anyone ...
A. 11 July 2007: I don't think you are at all depressed, I just think that you are so worried about not being "that" experienced, which you shouldn't, it will come natural...trust me, when the "time" is right!! You should be so happy in knowing how long the both of ... (read in full...)
Till Death Do We Part - A True Story
Q. Doesn't anybody stay together anymore? In this day and time, it is so easy to get a divorce or even better...just live together to "see if it works out" first. Don't get me wrong, I personally believe there are good reasons to divorce, and I know I ...
A. 4 July 2007: Thank's all for taking the time to read about my parents and for your kind words. I can only hope and pray that some how the words love, honor, and respect will still still keep their same meaning and that more people will actually think twice ... (read in full...)
How do I get someone out of my head?
Q. Hi, I am from the US; I work full time (40hrs/week), I go to the gym, I read, I go out to the bars on the weekends, I watch movies, I volunteer at a children's hospital on the weekends, etc... But even with doing all this, I still feel overwhelmed ...
A. 4 July 2007: I can relate to your question and for me, I think being around my girlfriends helped me out tremendously. Not only was I not "alone", but talking with them letting out all my "stuff" was a big relief for me. As the song says..."That's what friends ... (read in full...)
Why do I always attract Abusers, Liars and Cheaters?
Q. why do you think women attract men who are abusers and liars and cheaters? I seem to always meet these type of men. It is usually within the first couple dates that I notice the signs and then I leave them. I just wonder why this keeps happening. ...
A. 1 July 2007: I have to agree with "Happytochat" on much that she said. And we have to get the losers out of our lives if we want to ever meet a really good man. But not only that, I can understand at first that maybe you might have dated a guy once and then it ... (read in full...)
I want to bring some spark to our long-distance relationship but she doesn't even want to talk about it
Q. Hi, I've been dating a girl for a couple of years now, and it's a long distance relationship. I would like to have phone sex, but she is not at all into that. It's very hard to keep the spice in the relationship when she doesn't want to ever talk ...
A. 1 July 2007: I have to agree, it's hard for her whether it's because she just doesn't want to have phone sex - some women don't, or if it's because the distance between you two could possibly be making the relationship dwindle. At some point, someone needs to ... (read in full...)
Help me give my wife a night to remember!
Q. I really wanna give my wife the night of her life and seduce her. We have been married for about 8 years and are still madly in love and have a great sex life. I want to make it a night to remember for her and I want to have the best sex I've ever ...
A. 1 July 2007: First off...congratulations to you both for finding that special something to keep your love alive and having that passion still within you and the desire to keep it working. I can only say, if it was me, I would love to be swept off my feet on ... (read in full...)
I am having a few problems trying to overcome an abusive relationship and wondered if anyone can help?
Q. I am having a few problems trying to overcome an abusive relationship and wondered if anyone can help. We split almost a couple of months ago. Within our relationship, though on occasion he could be thoughtful, intelligent and caring, he also had...
A. 1 July 2007: First off you stated that you two split up already and I know you don't want to hear this, but, you just need to let him lead his own life and you need to live your's. If he was abusive, and I am sure he was, you probably should have filed charges ... (read in full...)
For the gals: What are you thinking when you are checking out a guy's wedding ring?
Q. For the gals: What are you thinking when you are checking out a guy's wedding ring? I was having lunch with a buddy of mine when this topic came up. Occasionally, when I am among women, I catch them ogling my wedding ring. If they end up maki...
A. 30 June 2007: I think asking her...Hey, Jane Doe, I see you notice my ring a lot, do you like it or do you think it's a bit flashy for a wedding ring? (or do you think it's quite unsual to be a wedding ring?) See what she says. There's nothing wrong in asking ... (read in full...)
We're going to sell up, move away and start again, opinions on this would be appreciated.
Q. Hi guys, It would be nice to get some opinions on my situation as it is at the moment please. My husband and I were going through some business and financial difficulties early part of last year and it caused us to lose sight of each other. My ...
A. 29 June 2007: I guess I will be the odd ball in my thoughts. I worry why and how he could have gotten so deep in debt with her...and then why come back to you (and I understand about the death and all, I do) was it so he could just sell the business and your home ... (read in full...)
I know they say women hit their sexual peak at 40, but my sex drive is driving me nuts.
Q. I know they say women hit their sexual peak at 40, but my sex drive is driving me nuts. I've been off the pill for 2 years, but the surge in my drive didn't happen until about 6-8 months ago so I don't know if there's a connection there. I think ...
A. 29 June 2007: Personally I do not think the pill has anything to do with it. I got off the pill at 35 (I am 41), and for me, once I hit about 39...oh boy, look out! I have the same thoughts you could say, probably more so because I AM single and currently in no ... (read in full...)
For the gals: What are you thinking when you are checking out a guy's wedding ring?
Q. For the gals: What are you thinking when you are checking out a guy's wedding ring? I was having lunch with a buddy of mine when this topic came up. Occasionally, when I am among women, I catch them ogling my wedding ring. If they end up maki...
A. 29 June 2007: When I am out, if I find someone attractive and someone that I might want to strike up a converstion with I definatley look to see if he does wear a wedding band or the such. Now a days, it's tough because some of the rings they make are "out of ... (read in full...)
I am finding it difficult to balance holding back my feelings for her and to keep some perspective.
Q. Out of the loop for a while. I am 36 and have been divorced for 2 years when as the cliche go- she walked into my life. She ticks all the boxes and many many more. The question is we have known each other for 5 weeks and I am finding it diffi...
A. 29 June 2007: I didn't realize you were living together after knowing each other for only 5 weeks. So as I stated below, in "time", you will know if she is really like that or if she finally "loosens" up and relaxes around you and that very well be what it is. ... (read in full...)
She was crazy, but I miss her and my family so much.. Is there anything I can do?
Q. A couple of years ago I met this gal who was 24 yrs.old (I'm 47) I was working for a band, and she walked right up to me and licked my face. Normally when women are that forward I am turned off, but for some reason this totally blew me away. She ...
A. 28 June 2007: Your heart is a big heart I can tell...and I know you mean well with it...however, I feel as though you were with her because you wanted to "help" her in everyway you could, and really, if you REALLY buckle down to it, probably was not IN LOVE with ... (read in full...)
How do I light a fire under my lazy ass wife?
Q. How do I light a fire under my lazy ass wife? She doesnt do anything but lay around while im at work, and then expect me to do dishes, laundry, and clean the house. Should i just quit doing everything? Granted we have a two and four year old, but ...
A. 28 June 2007: Since it sounds as if she does not work and you are doing ALL the work...you just answered your own question. What she should be doing needs to be left alone so she can see what she needs to be taken care of. She knows you will do it because you ... (read in full...)
I am finding it difficult to balance holding back my feelings for her and to keep some perspective.
Q. Out of the loop for a while. I am 36 and have been divorced for 2 years when as the cliche go- she walked into my life. She ticks all the boxes and many many more. The question is we have known each other for 5 weeks and I am finding it diffi...
A. 28 June 2007: Being that you stated you BOTH know that this relationship could possibly go somewhere, then "just" let it. She is shy, and you don't want to come across as a desparate man towards her...that would be totally a turn off. (or it would for me) Even ... (read in full...)
I am a workaholic with no life, and I am lonely
Q. I'm 24, single, have worked hard and got a good position in an "ok" company, but I feel totally unfulfilled and to be honest, lonely. I split from my last main partner 2 years ago and have been on dates but nothing has lasted or made me "fall in ...
A. 27 June 2007: Hey sweetie....don't tear yourself down!!! Heard of a song called.."That's What Friends Are For"? Well, thats excatly what they are for. Stop thinking of a boyfriend, or just a man to be in your life..when the time is right, he will show up. ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be shy in my new place--any advice?
Q. hello everyone. i am 18 years old and I am relocating from Brooklyn NY to a Philly suburb. I have lived in Brooklyn all my life. I pretty much do not have much friends and i have never even kissed a girl (let alone have a girlfriend). There ...
A. 25 June 2007: Always remember, it's not about what you look like, it's about who you are as a person. People are automatically drawn to friendly, loving people and it sounds like you are already this person. Though you might be shy, try to do some of the maybe ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend said she wanted space, but then didn't take any--what is up with that?
Q. A few nights ago my girlfriend said our relationship was over and she needed a break and space. The next morning she called and spoke to me as if nothing happened. She then called me through-out the weekend. Is this normal behaviour? ...
A. 25 June 2007: Sometimes people say things out of frustration. Did you just have an arguement? Then, there is the....ok, I didn't mean what I said, so I will call him and everything will go back to "normal". My thoughts...you need to talk to her about what just ... (read in full...)
Do all men play games?
Q. Do all men play games? I realize I've been out of the dating scene for most of my adult life due to a long term relationship that ended. I am seeing a new guy, and we've been together for about a year but I still get the feeling at times, that he ...
A. 25 June 2007: Just remember "Sex in the City" is just a movie sitcom. I can understand at times it feels like some of the single men might be playing games, but there are still a "few good men" out there. I will agree that if someone commits to a date, any kind ... (read in full...)
Is it all about looks when you become accepted?
Q. My society and culture sets high standards in terms of way a person looks in order to be considered acceptable to relate with some kind of people, especially those who belong to high society or have good social reputation. As if, it were all about ...
A. 25 June 2007: It looks like you wrote back but some how it didn't post correctly as a followup....send me a private email and we can discuss further. Some of what you said confused me and I want to make sure I am understanding you correctly as far as these ... (read in full...)
I hate my discoloured teeth
Q. I am not too keen on the colour of my teeth there kinda discoloured does anyone know where or what to do and 2 get whitening from or anything. Anything to make them whiter...
A. 22 June 2007: I like using a toothpaste called Rembrandt. It is for whitening of the teeth. It is sold in many stores and I believe on the internet. Flossing and (I prefer) using Listerine to gargle. I don't use this toothpaste everyday, but maybe 3-4 times a ... (read in full...)
I keep finding faults with my girlfriends
Q. Dear Cupid, In a relationship with current gf for 4 months -dont know whether i'm attracted to her or not...she carrys some weight and i'm not comfortable with that as i'm rather thin and keep fit ...it seems i always find fault with the women i...
A. 22 June 2007: Finding fault in the women you have been in a relationship has me wondering if you are even ready to settle down. If you see a women passing on the street and you stop and wonder about her has me thinking you just haven't found the woman that just ... (read in full...)
Is it all about looks when you become accepted?
Q. My society and culture sets high standards in terms of way a person looks in order to be considered acceptable to relate with some kind of people, especially those who belong to high society or have good social reputation. As if, it were all about ...
A. 22 June 2007: In most cases...yes. Let's start with a job...if you went to work at the corporate location of some big wheel company and the CEO, President and all Senior officals were there and all dressed in their professional suits and then you walk in wearing ... (read in full...)
I had oral sex with a guy I'm not going out with. Now I'm getting called a slag! What should I do?
Q. hello, recently iv been doing oral sex with a boy im not going out with. we havnt had sex but people think im easy and a slag. i dont no wht to do i realy like him. please help. do you think what i am doing is wrong?...
A. 22 June 2007: I guess I'm going to be the old fashioned one here....but I would be waiting for the right guy to be coming along. "Most" guys love to talk, especially at the age you are at. They are not mature and are ONLY looking for fun and pleasure. If that ... (read in full...)
My husband is a dirty stop-out!
Q. How can I keep my husband from coming in after 12:00 midnight. ...
A. 22 June 2007: There's not much to go on here, but knowing myself, I would change the locks before he got home. Now mind you, there has got to be a reason he is coming home so late each night. Why? Is he an alcoholic? Is he seeing someone else? Have you two ... (read in full...)
How do I get my ex back ? He said that I have abused him for too long.
Q. I did not get any responses to help me in my torture at the moment! So, posting another cry for help! Thanks for your patience and time to read again! How do I get my ex back ? He said that I have abused him for too long and that he was OUT of i...
A. 17 June 2007: More then likely he is "out of the picture" so to speak, however, what I can tell you from my past, is that the men we have split up with normally come back for sex if there is not another woman in their life and IF they can get "it". Your right, ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to stop loving my husband, and I'm scared of being alone...
Q. I don't know how to stop loving my husband, and I'm scared of being alone. We've been together 6 years, married for 3. We have 2 small children, and I have a teenage daughter. My husband has always been a little distant emotionally, but lately ...
A. 15 June 2007: First off, I'm sorry to hear of the pain you are feeling, because I know it probably feels like a knife to the heart. What I will say is this....you really love your husband and I feel that you can work it all out before thinking divorce court. Let ... (read in full...)
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