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... Send *ateyes a private message | | | *ateyes's profile:Hi...I'm Norma!
I live in the great state of Texas - born and raised in Houston. I have been divorced for 13yrs and have no children.(nor any plans - giving birth that is!) I am 43yrs young and enjoy my everday life! I have an excellent career as a VP & Branch Manager.
I can only say that any advise coming from me, would be an honest one. Mostly, it's from the heart, added with a touch of brains, common sense and compassion. I think everyone has done "something" in their life and has learned from it. For those of us who have, if we can help someone else not make the same mistake or maybe we might have first hand experience in, what a blessing that can be.
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| Latest articles: Till Death Do We Part - A True Story
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 June 2007: Doesn't anybody stay together anymore? In this day and time, it is so easy to get a divorce or even better...just live together to "see if it works out" first. Don't get me wrong, I personally believe there are good reasons to divorce, and I know I ...
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Do I talk to my man about my ex?
Q. I was in a marriage that my ex was having affairs.I think im still trying to deal with that. my ex wants to go get help and work on things. i have been dating a guy for about 9months now and my ex is upset that im seeing this man.He wants our fami...
A. 10 October 2007: I've known many people where they have been in your shoe's. I've known it where it works out and where it doesn't work out.
My thoughts on this is...that he left you. It didn't work with the other woman so he finds out your seeing someone ... (read in full...)
Is my husband telling the truth?
Q. I have been married with my husband for 10 years, Last week while they were taking him some X-rays, I readed his text messages (It was the first time I did it)and I discover that his Research assitant was inviting him to celebrate something and that ...
A. 9 October 2007: Being that he rejected it and there were no "kind" words said to her back, I wouldn't worry about it to much. Alot of women write stuff and put the xoxo, smooches, kisses, etc...after many texts/emails...however, if she knows he's married (like if ... (read in full...)
What was she thinking 20 years ago?
Q. Had a follow up question and wanted to provide an update. BTW I appeciate all the help and I apologize to anyone Ive offended here. I'm fairly emotional right now and know people sometimes see things very differently. My wife and I are working ...
A. 9 October 2007: There's a few ways of looking at this...she may have been entirely drunk and really doesn't remember OR because it happened so long ago, and she is so happy to be with the man that she loves AND married, that she doesn't want to bring up the past in ... (read in full...)
Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
Q. Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
A. 8 October 2007: As always Eddie, your articles are so truthful and I enjoy reading them. Now, if that could also be said for those under age (and not) who have sex before marriage....because we all know of the consequences that can happen for that as well. We know ... (read in full...)
Does anybody know of a relationship that has come through after a partner has cheated repeatedly?
Q. Does anybody know of a relationship that has come through after a partner has cheated repeatedly? Im interested as the advice i have been given by family and friends is 'walk its not the first time, a leopard never changes its spots' Thing is...
A. 8 October 2007: When someone consistently cheats, personally I think they want to be found out, because they want out of their relationship and just can't say it. If he truly loved you, he wouldn't have done it...period. It could be the thrill to some as well, but ... (read in full...)
I am on the threshold of filing for divorce from my husband of 20 years
Q. Are there other 40-something women out there who have fallen out of love with their long-term men, filed for divorced, or moved on to someone else, only to repeat the same pattern of boredom or apathy in the next relationship? I am on the ...
A. 3 October 2007: I am the "40" something, but didn't marry quite so young, actually at 25 and divorced at 30 due to his alcoholism, however, much of what you have said, I have done. Meaning, I have gone from one alcoholic to another..never married again, but you ... (read in full...)
I cheated on him last year and he wants out; he's been unfaithful several times before. Should I move on?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been going out for 10 years. I cheated on him last year for the first time. I told him about it and he wants out. I feel cheated because he has had affiars several times and i have always forgiven him. I'm very confused now. ...
A. 2 October 2007: Your heart is the last to heal. It takes time, but it does eventually. Just like when you fall and scrape your knee, a wound forms and then becomes a scab and then finally heals. Sometimes it leaves a scar, but that scar to me is the scar that ... (read in full...)
My abusive, alcoholic husband is making me out to be the bad guy! I'm at a loss, any help?
Q. I just don't understand him anymore. I've have posted several questions pertaining to my relationship with my husband who is an alcoholic and has become verbally and physically abusive over the past 2 years. I have received some great advice and I ...
A. 28 September 2007: Speaking from experience and totally relating to your story...from my past experience, the only way my alcoholic husband was to ever become sober was to divorce him. I heard the many promises he made, always to be broken and so was my heart. I used ... (read in full...)
My feelings have changed since he cheated
Q. I'm a little confused I've been with my boyfriend for two years eventhough, he cheated twice with the same girl and I forgave him but ever since I've forgave him I feel that my feelings towards him are a little different. I've become more aggresive ...
A. 28 September 2007: First, I sure hope he is really proving to you that he would never do this again and means it. You should never put up with a spouse cheating, if you let him walk all over you he will. You do have to stomp your foot down and he should know that is ... (read in full...)
I cheated on him last year and he wants out; he's been unfaithful several times before. Should I move on?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been going out for 10 years. I cheated on him last year for the first time. I told him about it and he wants out. I feel cheated because he has had affiars several times and i have always forgiven him. I'm very confused now. ...
A. 26 September 2007: Personally, yes....and the reason is because relationships and people's feelings should not be "played" with. And it sounds that he has been playing yours and you take him back and now you played his and you expect him to take you back.
I don'... (read in full...)
If you lose all respect for a human being which you are to share your life with, is it even conceivable that you can ever respect the person again?
Q. Hope someone can give advice. Fairly recently my husband was caught redhanded cheating. I have been struggling understandibly with all the emotions involved when this happens. He has also done all the expected things - begging for forgiveness, ...
A. 25 September 2007: I was once married to an alcoholic who had cheated on me with several women. Mind you, I never "really" knew he had during our marriage because of his times when he would get so drunk. When he "finally" after his like 6th attempt to get sober, made ... (read in full...)
My wife is always putting me down. Sometimes I hate her, But I love her, if that makes sense. What can I do?
Q. ok here you go: I am married with children. Love my kids to death. I love my wife, but not as a wife. That may sound confusing, but let me explain. She is not a nice person at all, she constantly downs me and talks to me like I'm meaningless...
A. 19 September 2007: I'm glad you have so much wonderful advice from all the "aunts" out here, and I too, will have to agree with so much that Merrydee has said. If you don't let her know that you will no longer tolerate her words towards you and especially in front of ... (read in full...)
Separated from my wife of 25 years because of her affair with my employee. I'm in a new relation and the wife's apologised!
Q. hi i have seperated from my wife of 25 years last year we have 3 children 21 17 and 8 she was having an affair with my employee, they have moved away, and now she wants to come back and live with me , i have formed a new relations...
A. 13 September 2007: I have to agree with Frank, she really needs to earn her way back into your life/marriage if she really is serious. Many times I have seen where this has happened and the biggest reason is because there new found "friend" just didn't fit the ... (read in full...)
Does my married boyfriend still love me?
Q. My married boyfriend is scared to death of his wife. I bought him a cell phone and now I havent heard from him in three weeks but he is listening to all my messages is there any hope he loves me still?? His wife and him have not been happy for six ...
A. 13 September 2007: I am so sorry to hear about you getting fired. I can't even imagine and I can't believe that even happened to you when your personal life has nothing to do with your job. I know it is hard on you as well as your children, however, see this as a ... (read in full...)
Is there any hope or is this all too messy to sort out?
Q. Help. Another threesome question with a twist: when first meeting my boyfriend 3 years ago I was a story teller and prolific liar. Blessed or cursed with the ability to say what I believed people wanted to hear. I told my boyfriend that I had ...
A. 13 September 2007: I think bottom line here is...you have to decide what is best for you and what you want in this relationship if it is to continue. You either accept it for what he wants and can agree with it all with your WHOLE heart or not. Personally, if it was ... (read in full...)
Is there any hope or is this all too messy to sort out?
Q. Help. Another threesome question with a twist: when first meeting my boyfriend 3 years ago I was a story teller and prolific liar. Blessed or cursed with the ability to say what I believed people wanted to hear. I told my boyfriend that I had ...
A. 12 September 2007: I think the question here is what do YOU really want out of this relationship? And, if you do stay in it, are you willing to deal with the hurt and pain that it will cause because of the threesome....because it will. No woman, no matter what she ... (read in full...)
We have been separated for years, but I am afraid to file for divorce
Q. I am 49 woman, separated from my husband for a number of years though not in his eyes. In 2000 he gave me std's after 20 years of marriage, the same time this happened i lost my mother and my world fell apart. this actually helped my husband stay in ...
A. 12 September 2007: Like most have stated, you do need to consult a divorce lawyer, and preferable a female one at that. Stating all your fears to her. However, first, I would change the locks on all my doors as he has no right to be entering the house and you should ... (read in full...)
I had a dream that I used a sex toy on my husband. What does this mean? Is it normal?
Q. I had a dream that i bought a strap on, and used it on my husband. is this a normal fantasy or just a weird dream, and what does it mean?...
A. 11 September 2007: I personally don't think there is a meaning to it, it was "just" a dream and we all have them, weird one's to the really weird one's.
However, if you feel you can talk to your husband about this, see what he says...you never know? :)
... (read in full...)
I'm quite well off but am I wrong to like a woman that has manners to offer to pay her way on dates?
Q. I'm on the dating scene.I'm quite well-off, but I hate women who are after a free ride. I know as the man I'm expected to pay,initially at least. But am I wrong to judge a woman because she doesn't have the manners to even offer to pay her way? It ...
A. 11 September 2007: I can understand myself why you feel this way. When I was dating, I always offered to pay my share. Sometimes the guy accepted and sometimes he didn't, just depended actually on the guy. I never felt bad paying my share, I guess because I always ... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend wants to cheat on me, what can I do?
Q. I think my girlfriend wants to cheat on me. What do I do? Here are somethings that have happened: First of all, my girlfriend and I both have herpes. We both know this and talked about it a few months ago. Just the other day I saw in her search ...
A. 11 September 2007: Bottom line to any "troubled" relationship is through straight forward communication with each other. If you cannot talk to her and get the answers you need, then she is not ready to have a solid relationship.
If she is going to cheat, she will... (read in full...)
I have been with my boyfriend for thirteen years. I recently feel as if I want to get married and start a family but he doesn't...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for thirteen years. I recently feel as if I want to get married and start a family but he doesn't, I am unsure if I should call it a day or just carry on waiting....
A. 10 September 2007: If he hasn't mentioned marriage, nor wants to, or start a family, he probably doesn't...or he just isn't ready. I will say this, if he can't "commit" to marriage or does not have the desire to, then, personally, when the going gets tough...they ... (read in full...)
I have never dated and never been kissed by any other guy but this one, don't know the rules or the signals and it has been 12 years since my ex.
Q. Hi, can I get some advice please? I am 45 year old mother of 6 kids, no small ones any more. Bad marriage, only boyfriend was my ex ever. Fell for a guy three and 1/2 years ago who is 17 years younger, so I never did anything - just am too old for ...
A. 10 September 2007: I won't say there is anything bad or wrong meeting someone younger, however, you should ask yourself several questions before getting involved to see if both of you are on the same level of what is going on. Is this just going to be a fling? If it ... (read in full...)
Does my married boyfriend still love me?
Q. My married boyfriend is scared to death of his wife. I bought him a cell phone and now I havent heard from him in three weeks but he is listening to all my messages is there any hope he loves me still?? His wife and him have not been happy for six ...
A. 5 September 2007: Remember the saying...."when playing with fire, your gonna get burned"? Well, your playing with it and YOU WILL get burned!
Calling you or not, if he's not literally with you, your being played. IF he really wants to be with you, he would have been... (read in full...)
I never really enjoy oral sex...how do I approach my partner??
Q. I've just started dating a really nice guy and our relationship is progressing to a more intimate stage. My problem is oral sex. I've suffered with various ailments around that part of my body since I had my son 14 years ago and I've never really ...
A. 5 September 2007: I probably would meet with your doctor and talk to him about other recommendations for cleansing/washing and he should be able to prescribe a more heavier prescribtion of medication and or cleansing products. I understand your concern, believe me, ... (read in full...)
Can there be love without trust??
Q. Can there be love without trust? I keep believing there can be, but I am having my doubts and I need your advice. I need opinions so I can have options to choose from. Sorry, but this is going to be a long post. If you have the patience, do rea...
A. 5 September 2007: I think the bottom line here is that being that she herself came from a broken home AND that she to met you while being with someone (as well as you mind you) bothers her daily, if not by the minute that this is going to happen again. Why? Because ... (read in full...)
I never really enjoy oral sex...how do I approach my partner??
Q. I've just started dating a really nice guy and our relationship is progressing to a more intimate stage. My problem is oral sex. I've suffered with various ailments around that part of my body since I had my son 14 years ago and I've never really ...
A. 5 September 2007: I'm not sure "what" ailments that may be, but my overall thoughts are just in relaxation. And as Eddie stated, does the performance of it bother you in a manner of it being displeasing or is it something else? If you would like to talk, you are ... (read in full...)
My ex said I didnt give him enough sex. How do I deal with this in future relationships?
Q. My ex-boyfriend and I were together for over three years and had an amazing sex life. We had sex atleast once a day if not more, but when he would get drunk and wanted to have sex he would be so ruff and demanding which was a complete turn off. ...
A. 5 September 2007: When you mentioned..."when he would get drunk"...this has me wondering if he did this quite often. Being once married to an alcoholic, I can understand your feelings. I to was never "satisfing", however, when sober, everything was great. This has ... (read in full...)
My older girlfriends daughter is worried I'm only using her mum for sex, even though we haven't even had sex yet!
Q. I am a 34 year old male and am dating a 41 year old woman for two weeks now everything is going great between us. we have not had sex yet as i am prepared to wait till she is ready, but the problem is she has a 21 year old daughter who is worried ...
A. 4 September 2007: I have to agree with "AskEve" about having a talk with the daughter, maybe this will put her mind at ease...at least for a time. Then with your actions toward her Mom, she will see that you mean no disrespect towards her what so ever and that you ... (read in full...)
My husband is a recovering alcoholic, he said he didn't want to feel like giving explanations to anybody and left again...
Q. I was married to my ex-husband for 13 years. He is a "recovering alcoholic" who has trouble recovering. He asked me for a divorce 3 years ago, I didn't see or hear from him for over a year (he had someone new) and then he called me and said he was ...
A. 4 September 2007: Being married to once an alcoholic, I can relate so very much to what you feel and what he is telling you from my past. My exhusband, yes ex, fell off the wagon so so many times. Each time I was with him when he fell off the wagon - 4 rehabs, 1 ... (read in full...)
I work my butt off and he watches tv. I am exhausted and frustrated, but I dont want to destroy my family
Q. My husband is beyond Lazy. We have been together for 17 years. For 17 years he has hardly made an income or effort to better himself. I am so exhausted i sometimes cry for hours in private. I would have left him many years ago but we have kids and ...
A. 4 September 2007: Let me state I do not have any children, however, I grew up in a family of 5 kids, me being the youngest and then with both my parents...7 total. My dad worked his you know what off to support all of us while my mom did all the chores, PTA ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid that if I move in with him we'll never get married!
Q. My bf and I been together for 2 and 1/2 years. Our relaionshop had been like a roller coaster. Our last crazy fight was about a month ago. We haven't had any more disagreement since, but we are in a long distance relationship and we've always ...
A. 4 September 2007: I know you wanted to hear the male advise, however, I did want to voice you are correct. I wanted to share with you that living together can be nothing but that...just living together unless there is a REAL committment - marriage. I lived with a ... (read in full...)
I am 34 and my clock is ticking. Will I ever meet 'the one'?
Q. Hi, I am a 34 year old woman who has been single for a while now. I have been in a succession of long term relationships, usually with older men, which have not developed into anything such as marriage or kids. I feel like my clock is ticking and I ...
A. 4 September 2007: First let me say...I am 41 yrs old and been divorced since I was 30. I had a few unsuccesful relationships in between. I did however want children, but was not about to just have children because I wanted them. I see things as...if it was meant ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is an alcoholic who never has time for me
Q. my girlfriend is an alcholic and says she loves me and wants to spend time with me but always uninvites me to events she's asked me to go with her , won't let me come with her to do things an will only spend time with me for maybe 3hours per week i ...
A. 17 August 2007: IF I am understanding your write up and question correctly, you've been with your girlfriend who is an alcoholic and she started in AA about 5 months ago and apparently DURING that time has left you out of events and her social life. Sound right? ... (read in full...)
The love of my life broke up with me and wants to be friends!
Q. my boyfriend broke up with me after neary 2 years and he wants to be friends but im really in love with him and dont think i can stay sane and be friends with him, am i being immature? he is the love of my life and i havent even begun to cope wit...
A. 6 August 2007: As Laura stated, even someone who is much older can relate to how you feel. I am 41, and the samething happened to me. We don't have any mutual friends and we don't live close at all, so I on the other hand will never see him. I still love him with ... (read in full...)
Any ideas on what to get my girlfriend of 6 months for her birthday?
Q. Hey .. im just asking .. what should i get my girlfriend of 6 months for ther birthday .. i want to gfet her somthing nice .. and i need some ideas .. thank you .. very much...
A. 27 July 2007: Actually, I think it's called "Speaking Roses"....not the other. Good Luck... ... (read in full...)
Any ideas on what to get my girlfriend of 6 months for her birthday?
Q. Hey .. im just asking .. what should i get my girlfriend of 6 months for ther birthday .. i want to gfet her somthing nice .. and i need some ideas .. thank you .. very much...
A. 27 July 2007: I received a rose, not just any rose, but it was called the "talking rose" from a long distance relationship I once had. Real flowers or roses are great don't get me wrong, but these last forever and I will always cherish this one. Inside of the ... (read in full...)
iI think he is out of my league and i'm scared he will cheat.
Q. I separated from my husband 2 yrs ago after being in a dead realtionship for a number of yrs. Right now I'm saving up to file for divorce, while giving my spouse time to adjust to life without me. Last year I met a wonderful man, a few years older ...
A. 26 July 2007: First...you need to take a deep breath and just breathe for a minute..I think your moving to fast. How about dealing with ONE thing first...your still married. IF you are truly in a dead end relationship, tried and it didn't work and your not in ... (read in full...)
I love her very much but she has taken a sudden dislike to physical contact and I feel a bit rejected
Q. Hi all, can somebody please help with some objective advice... I'm going out of my mind! To cut a long story short, I'm in my late 30s, and have a fairly long distance relationship (100 miles) with my girlfriend. When we started out, it was brillian...
A. 25 July 2007: Sorry Cris...I finally found your post and hope I can help you. There is much of what Eddie has stated to you that is so true. I like his word "demand", but of course in a nice way of asking what seems to be the problem, because the key to any r... (read in full...)
I need some advice on blemish concealer
Q. i need help on concealer. i heard that green concealer hides pimples, scars, redness, and etc. could i just wear the green concealer just by itself? Will it blend with my skin? What kinds of brands are good concealers for me to buy that won't break ...
A. 23 July 2007: If you do wear the green concealer, be sure to place at least a small amount of "regular" concealer on aftewards that matches your skin tone. You could try it alone then put on your foundation, but there is a possibility that it will show. Just ... (read in full...)
I have had a few women at my work place been interested in me, but I have no interest in dating them because I am still comparing them with my ex.
Q. Why do I still at times feel down and depressed? My partner left after 16 years to date someone else. It's been a good 9 months now and she has not made any contact at all. I have been trying to do all the right things. Kept busy, reading, going ...
A. 22 July 2007: Being with someone that you loved for so long can be difficult to not think about them - you did and probably still do love her. It's hard, but you should be looking at it now as a change for you for the better. Now you have the ability to do what ... (read in full...)
I am in a bit of a quandry whether I am just waisting my time in this relationship
Q. Dear agony aunts... I'm in a bit of a quandary here at the moment... I'm with my boyf of 18 months and love him to bits and would do anything for him and I know he is mad about me too cos he has told me... but he also said that he will never marry...
A. 20 July 2007: This may be hard to understand, but I hope you do....I believe "some" men will tell you things you want to hear and will also tell you things you don't want to hear and the things that they tell you that you don't want to hear..are the truth. Now, ... (read in full...)
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