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female
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anonymous
writes: Please help me.My boyfriend, who I loved dearly, broke up with me almost five months ago. I heard he had met someone else ( we were long distance and he lives in another country) and was seeing her. I was so devastated.We had been trying to be friends, with occasional emails etc. However, when i heard this, i cut off all contact as I couldnt deal with it.I had to see him about six weeks ago when he came over for a friend's birthday. He said to me that he and this girl were just seeing each other and it wasn't a proper relationship.I keep hearing through our mutual friends about this girl, and so have emailed him asking what the story was - was he just trying to make me feel better or were they an item.He tells me that they havent seen each other due to circumstances, but that they talk a lot and get on very well. They are going to see each other over the summer and take it from there.Please help me. I dont know why but I can't handle it. I know we are never going to get back together, but I am desperate and love him so much. You will tell me to move on but how??? This girl will fall for him as deeply as I did because he is amazing, i hear she is incredible looking and obviously much better looking than me. I can't bear it. I will have to see her at some point through our mutual friends. I am broken, and haven't been happy since he dumped me, though I have tried so hard to move on. What do you do when you love someone and they just don't want you, they want someone else. I cant believe we have ended up like this after all the promises we made about spending our lives together.
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female
reader, yanixxx27xxx  +, writes (1 June 2007):
i know how you feel, dont worry about it, yeah i have gon thrw it and i am going threw it right now again. the only thing you can do right now is jus go along with the flow. you may still love him but the question is does he still love you? or does he love his new girlfriend? what ever the ansr is. dont let your feelings get in the wa of becomin his friend. maybe if you guys were to be good friends you guys can have a great bond and he will see how much he lost from being with you. show him that yo can be a good friend t him and show him that you wouldnt want to how your feelings. i hope this helps Good Luck
A
female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (26 May 2007):
 Moving on is hard, but like everyone else, we do it. It takes time. It's not an overnight success though we wish it could. To be honest, even though you were in a long distance relationship, if he was truly committed to you, I don't think this would have ever happened. So how I see it is, be glad you were never married, or he might have cheated on you and then what? See this as he was just clearly not the one for you even though YOU committed yourself to him. And believe me...I DO understand how you feel, honestly, but you must move on and be happy even when you don't feel like it. Hard yes, can it be done, yes again. Be with your friends, go out to movies...funny one's that is, get motivated even though I know you don't feel like it. Kinda like NIKE says....JUST DO IT! This will help you to not only get over him, but will get you back out doing things you enjoyed and in time, you will meet someone new. Looks aren't everything and I know you know that..it's the person within. When things like this happen, it's natural to feel "ugly", but I know you are not, it's just the feeling we women get. And EVEN if she was so "fine" looking, and he just "had" to go out with her, that doesn't mean she is beautiful inside. She could be a wolf trapped in sheep's clothing.
Chin up!!!
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (22 May 2007):
 You have closure- he's move on to someone else. You can't make a person love you, and therefore shouldn't waste your energy and effort in trying. The best thing that you can do is give yourself time, then give dating another go when you're ready.
DV1
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (22 May 2007):
 Hi,
Believe it or not, you will move on, because you have to.
Its really hard, and extremely painfull, but not impossible. Give yourself time, and try to keep busy with your friends.
You cannot do anything about the way he is choosing to live his life now, but you can go about altering yours.
You dont say your age, but I guess you are fairly young. Its never to late to find someone else, a person nearer to you, that you can share your life with.
But you will never find this until you let go of the past, and move on.
Its really sad, and hurts like hell, I think most people have been there at one point, maybe several times. And it never hurts any less.
Dont torture yourself at thinking this other girl is better than you. You dont know that. Looks are not everything....and I am sure your not ugly, you just feel it at the moment.
You say he is perfect, but he's not. He gave you up, and that will be his loss in the end. You dont think so now, but one day when the love of your life turns up, you will be glad that you are free to be with him.
I really do believe that things, no matter how painfull, happen for a reason.
Please try to move forward, even if its only a bit at a time. Take things day by day, until you start to smile again.
Take care of yourself XXX
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