A
female
age
30-35,
*lovebowsandcherries
writes:Hey, so i am 20 years old i've had alot going on in my life since i was about 12, loss of family family fueds so on and so forth, but my main problem is i always keep things bottled up.if something in my family goes wrong or something upset's me or anything i find it hard to share with people i like to try and figure things out on my own i don't really like to bother people much with my problems because i know everyone has their own problems and i feel mine can be silly.i do love helping people when they have problems though and i like to think i make a difference, but when it comes to me i find it difficult to share and so much so i try to figure things out in my head and help myself out that i fail to do so until i come to breaking point and just burst into tears.Why do i find it so hard to share my problems?Why do i bottle them up so much?please no harsh words i don't appreciate it.Thank you. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (14 April 2009):
Because you are British!!
We don't cry and go to therapists and talk endlessly about ourselves like the Americans you see on TV.
In this celebrity obsessed age I think I know more about Jordan's pregnancy than I do about my own Mother. But you don't make millions of pounds by talking about your constipation to Heat magazine, so just handle things in your own way.
We Brits handle our problems privately and with dignity. If that works for you then great.
As long as you know that should you WANT help and someone to talk to, you could call a friend and let it out to them, then you are fine.
Most problems are not earth shattering and can be solved by giving it a bit of time and then discussing it privately.
As long as you are not protecting any one who is abusing anyone else then why tell the world about your private life.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): I am certainly no expert but I do generally have this same problem, family issues and all.I noticed that I tend to bottle things up because I don't like burdening people with my issues, like they shouldn't have to help. I was loosing sleep and having difficulty with study until I just talked it all through one day, got everything out. The base issues aren't fixed but i feel I have less on my mind now and can live life.Basically I think you feel others shouldn't have to deal with your troubles and that you also do it to get through the day, even if it may be stressful. Talking to friends / family can really help.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (14 April 2009):
 we all have problems and while talking about them can be helpfull dredging it up on a daily basis can have a negative effect in that we cannot get on with work and dinner and sleeping due to the stress of the feelings involved. therefore repression serves a vital function.
if however the amount of repression gets to great and it causes symptoms such as lack of sleep and appetite and depression it would be best to see a counsellor as at this point holding back is not allowing you to live your day to day life and help is required to lighten the suitcase as it is falling apart of its own accord.
my answer is that you bottle things up to survive but surviving may not be living so look out a counsellor...
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