A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi agony aunts!So my boyfriend and I have been together for a while now and we've decided to take the next step. Meeting the parents! Problem is his parents live abroad and I can't speak a word of their language. We're staying at his parents house for 2 weeks (so our first holiday together too!). I need advice on how to act during these 2 weeks. I obviously want them to like me but I have no idea of how we're going to communicate. Should i help around the house? Help in the kitchen? Although I cannot cook to save my life. Any tips for my situation?Thanks! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 June 2016):
 Talk to your boyfriend about your situation, tell him you are worried, ask him a bit more about his background and culture and how you will be expected to behave. I would also recommend learning a bit of there language before you go over or you will feel very alone and isolated.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2016): Thank you all for your answers! I will definitely learn a few basic words/phrases and have already bought a present for them. I don't think the 2 weeks will be too bad though because his parents work, so we'll be able to have some alone time. Thanks again!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (20 June 2016):
 There is an APP for that!!
Honestly there are SEVERAL translator apps you can use with your cell-phone (depending on type) so GO GOOGLE that!!
And learning a few simple phrases is also smart.
Be polite. And if you don't know what you say, just smile and be friendly.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 June 2016):
Get one of those "Berlitz" language booklets and learn how to say, "Hello, I'm delighted to meet you. You have a wonderful son."
Anything else would be "too much...." ...
Good luck, or.... bon chance... or, bueno chanco....
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (19 June 2016):
 I hope this isn't for a few months, as it's important that you learn basics of their language. If not, it'll look like you've put no effort in and you'll be completely left out.Also, staying at theirs for 2 weeks isn't a great idea - it's better to stay in a hotel, so that you all have space to breathe, away from each other. I know it's more expensive, but it's worth it to be able to go back to a hotel and not share a bathroom in the mornings, potentially see things that even family feel awkward about, etc. You'll need space to be together, as a couple, during those two weeks and you can't do that at his parents' - I'm not even talking about sex, just basic affection, as it could seem rude or uncomfortable for them to see any of it.I think *meeting* his parents is a great idea, but staying *with* them and not knowing basic words and phrases before meeting them is a bad idea. First impressions are really important and it'll be hard to make a good one if you can't talk to them and are staying in their house every night.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2016): My boyfs family dont speak english we stay in his country a lot and it can be very isolating for me not speaking the language so I would encourage you to learn a bit especially the basic polite stuff like please, thankyou, hello, goodbye etc. Your boyf will have to help you and translate a bit. I would definently offer to help clean up at dinner etc even if they might not want you to do it,always offer. You could take them a bottle of drink or something they like as a thanks for staying there too. Personally we stay in a hotel except for the odd night as it is good to have space. Also I have to understand that my boyf hasnt seen them in a while so sometimes theyll have a good chat, I can't understand obviously so my boyf puts an english channel on tv for me or something so I don't feel left out lol Remember pictures are always good, I often show them pictures of us back home and the family photos come out. Have fun and enjoy your holiday.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (19 June 2016):
 Are you sure being a house guest that too at your boyfriend's parents house and on top of it for 2 weeks is a good idea? Two weeks is a long, long time be at someone's house and you aren't married yet.
Many cultures are not favor of unmarried people living together so while they may not say it out loud, they might not like it either. Will you be sharing a bedroom with your boyfriend?
Look all in in all, rules for a house guest are pretty simple. Don't overstay your welcome, always be on time for meals, keep your room clean, keep conversation polite, be complimentary, buy them something fabulous as a gesture of your appreciation, take them out for dinner, don't invade their personal space, help out as often as you can and be respectful of them. You say you can't cook so offering to make dinner is out of question.
Personally though if you ask me, staying at someone else's house never makes me comfortable; it's much more convenient to stay in a hotel.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (19 June 2016):
 Hi
Communication is so much more than just words, of course in your case so much more helpful if you knew as few, but you can do other things. For example you can use a lot of positive body language and gestures, look and read the situation for opportunities to be involved. As a mother, no doubt she will be keen to see how you interact with her son and you can show her just how awesome you are for him by your actions. Personally I would arrive with a big bunch of flowers and a few preprepared line of 'Hello, lovely to meet you" Good luck I hope it all goes well.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 June 2016):
 I would learn a few phrases of their language and their customs. Offering to help is always good, no matter what country the parents are from. The best is to act like they are any other parent and pretend whatever cultural gap isn't there. If they can't understand what they are saying, your boyfriend can translate.
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