A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, first all thanks for reading this. My bf of 2 years suddenly asked me about a gps tracking device that he knows I had in the past. I told him I don't have it with me. It is in my locker ( work locker) and I asked what do you need for that tracking device? I said is not longer activated. You will have to activate it. (I had it for security purposes when I bought my new car last year) He just told me , listen I need a tracking device Can I have that one or not? I asked again , what for? He then got all mad and he was leaving the place and was saying I am stupid for asking you I should to ask one of my friends and he left. Why he can't tell me what it this for?? Why he got mad? He works in a hotel m-f, 8-5 so I don't understand why he needs this.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2016): OP,
I disagree for the most part with many of these people.
I can tell you from my own personal experience with a cheater that your boyfriend's behaviour speaks loud and clear that he is up to no good.
And he is "gas lighting" you which is a common tactic cheaters use to shift the blame on you. And shift the focus off of them. This allows them to continue cheating on you by making it look like you are the one at fault.
Remember it's up to you whether you let him trick you and deceive you.
The choice is yours.
Either you leave him now and spare yourself from further bullshit and pain inflicted by him. Or you follow him around and find out for yourself that he is, in fact, cheating, and then cut him loose.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 June 2016):
 I would like to point out that the bf did not call the OP " stupid ". He said he was being stupid for asking her rather than a pal. It's a bit different. Bad attitude, but not verbal abuse.
I tend to concur with Chigirl, anyway.
Not to defend your bf, who anyway could have shown some more courtesy and some more patience, but the " it's a legitimate question " gets stale in time. We are only human, we all have a limited level of tolerance to certain things, and , if you are the kind who ALWAYS asks a lot of question about every little thing, - and also , you ask questions not so much to understand better but because you are mistrustful on principle- well, it can elicit strong reactions.
Not that your bf is right,- he should have kept is cool in theory- but in practice , he is telling you " off my back " and he might have his reasons... to end up in the wrong.
I am saying this because when my son lived at home, he accused me of beng a yeller.. Now, no accuse could be more unfair. I am very calm and unflappable by nature- I am not a very emotional type . I don't get upset easily, and when I do not get boisterous.
BUT : my son is stubborn as a mule ( he takes after mom ) and he is rather passive aggressive ( that, he does NOT take it after me ). So, every time I asked him to please do , or not do, X thing, he'll say yes, sure.... and will proceed ignoring me and keep not doing ( or doing ) exactly X thing.
Second time, again, " would you please do X thing " in a normal,polite tune. Third time,fourth time fifth time... by the tenth time, yes, I am at my wits' end and howling like a banshee " I TOLD YOU TEN TIMES TO DO X THING ".
Now, I should know better and not let him push my buttons- but then again, maybe he should NOT push my buttons to begin with.
Ditto with the 20 questions style of communication.. If you are used to interrogate him and want to know the hows and whys and when of any minimal move of his.... eh well. Eventually he lost his temper and refuses to answer on principle.
As for why he wanted a tracking device, I have no clue , of course, but it can't be that suspicious. If he wanted to use to track you, or to track some lover of his, well, he'd be pretty dumb to ask YOU ( .. and knowing that he might get questioned too ). If he needed a tracking device for some illicit activity or something that youìd be mad about - I think common sense would have told him to go to another person, or at worst, to buy himself one.
So , my guess is that he wanted it for some "normal " , tellable reason... he is not telling just out of spite and stubborness, and probably to make a point that you are his gf , but not his owner .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2016): Yes. Thanks a lot I am the OP. And yes I do ask a lot of questions. And saddly this took us to a bad argument and we are not talking to each other at this moment. I don't like to be treated like stupid and his lack of explanation is just suspicious and annoying...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2016): Let me state that you are NOT stupid OP for simply asking your boyfriend WHY on earth he would want to use a GPS tracking device. Nor are you WRONG for asking.It isn't something people go around doing every day, now, is it? So, it's definitely a LEGITIMATE question. Anybody would probably follow up with a WHY when their partner asks to borrow a tracking device! DUH!The fact your BF said "Can I have that one or not" is condescending. Just the tone is all wrong. So, is the fact he called you stupid. He is stupid himself for actually asking his own GF to borrow her tracking device! And then calling her names and looking shady with his behaviour. He isn't a seasoned liar it looks like.I do not agree with Chigirl. Any guy who is asking his GF to use a tracking device is behaving SUSPICIOUSLY and therefore DESERVES the third degree!So, you are well within your rights to ask him questions AND follow up questions if necessary. And if you don't like his explanations or feel he is hiding something, trust your gut. And don't stay in the relationship. But only after you get all the information you need or lack there of. There is nothing wrong with protecting your own best interests. Finding out everything you need to know to make that decision is not only right but within your rights.I think he is an idiot. And I would lose him if I were you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2016): Ok. I do have the gps but it is deactivate and is not longer attached to my car. He knew about it because like I said I used when I bought my new car. I just don't know what to think..
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 June 2016):
 Why are you with him if you don't trust him? Some times, people just need to do things without having to answer to their partner as if they were a child. It sounds to me like he is tired of you and the relationship, and so he made it a point to not want to answer any such questions from you again, whether it would be normal or not to ask.
I don't know, of course, but I am saying this because in my experience, when people react this way there is a reason. And in my experience, when the person in your shoes doesn't see it coming, and doesn't understand why the other reacts this way, it is because they are oblivious to something about their own behaviour.
Example, my father always asks such questions. About every single little thing. It would be impossible to ask him for anything, and not get a third degree back. It is impossible to tell him any information, without him asking at least 5 follow-up questions. It's annoying, and the only reason he asks is because he is paranoid and thinks everyone is out to get him. This suspiciousness is hurtful to all relationships. No one likes to be treated like they are a liar. So what is the result? People get mad at him and don't want to talk to him. And he sits there, with the same exact reaction as you: "I don't know why they got so upset, I was only asking a legitimate question".
Just leave your boyfriend be, and instead think about what future you and him have, or if it's time to end this.
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A
female
reader, jls022  +, writes (5 June 2016):
Could he want to see it because he wants to be sure you're not secretly using it to keep track of HIM? If so then he may be doing/planning to do something shady that he wants to make sure he doesn't get caught for...
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (5 June 2016):
He figures you wouldn't give it to him if you knew how he was going to use it. Which probably means that it involves either another woman or something unsavory.
Just calling you stupid is reason enough not to give it to him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (5 June 2016):
 If he can't tell you, he can't have it. Simple.
Now he might be pulling a "you should trust me" - but that goes both ways, doesn't it? He should trust YOU enough to tell you why.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (5 June 2016):
 If he were up to any hanky-panky then I don't think he would have asked you for it, that's for sure. Maybe he just needs it for something or borrow it for someone at work and is mad at you for asking him too many questions. I don't think there's a red flag here. If he's given you no reason to doubt him in the past then you shouldn't now either.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2016): Well, obviously your boyfriend is attempting to track someone.
If it was you, I doubt he would be so obvious about it by asking to track you with your own tracking device.
If I had to venture a guess, it could be because he is attempting to track his OTHER girlfriend, whom he does not trust?
No, don't give it to him.
And watch him a lot more closely from now on for other strange behaviours.
Hope it's not what it looks like.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2016): He MAY be wanting to track another Person or something may be an ex? Scary though. Did you have it on your SRM or attached to your new car,?
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (5 June 2016):
 It's a red flag that he won't tell you why he wants it - I wouldn't give it to him and I'd start to wonder how much I could trust him.
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