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... Send *earo a private message | | | *earo's profile:Nothing qualifies me to help people. But I always try to treat people the way I treat my best friends when they need help. It doesn't take much to help someone. Sometimes all they need is an open ear.
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Last night I cheated on my boyfriend of 1.5 years...what do I do now?
Q. Last night I cheated on my boyfriend of 1.5 years. By cheating, I mean that I met up with a new friend for coffee. We were sitting in the car drinking our coffee and he suddenly leaned in and kissed me. When he did this I automatically pulled away, ...
A. 9 June 2012: Why do women cheat in your situation? I assume that they take their partner for granted which is the same as a guy. Being with someone and wishing he/she was someone else is a low blow and a poor excuse. If the relationship is problematic then work ... (read in full...)
How should I talk to him about his family friend without coming across as trying to control his life?
Q. dear cupid, there's this guy that i've been on-and-off with for a little over a year now; for security purposes, we'll just call him brantley. he's twenty-one, and i'm twenty. we are currently not officially back together, but we're definitely...
A. 9 June 2012: I just find it strange that you put the focus on the 15 year old rather than the 21 year old guy. She is 15 and might be infatuated with him, what do you expect? I hope you don't expect her to act like a 20yr old. In fact I know 20yr olds who act ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend went away on a trip, didn't tell me and he doesn't understand why I am upset
Q. Hi. This is not my first relationship, but I am my boyfriends first girlfriend. I'm wondering if maybe this is why he does the things he does, because he doesn't know better? When I go away for a few days, even if it is just a weekend, I think it is ...
A. 9 June 2012: Tell him that for future instances that it shows "care" when you tell each other where the other is going. Explain you are not stopping him from going anywhere. But just like you tell him where you are going, it is important that he tells you as ... (read in full...)
She built me up to expect sex and then she let me down
Q. For almost a year my girlfriend would tempt me about having sex. She would get me aroused let me touch her in "various" areas of her body. She would tell me she wanted me and of course i would be really drawn into her temptations statements of ...
A. 9 June 2012: Seems strange to me she would suddenly say that. You should turn the tables on her and do what she did to you. Even make her jealous or something. ... (read in full...)
I'm dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and the death of my son's dad, and boyfriend tells me I'm being insensitive!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year, and until now, I had virtually zero doubts about our relationship. Here's what happened... For the past few days, I have been really down- depressed, sad, confused. I found out that I'm pre...
A. 9 June 2012: Well you can't de-energize a guy and then expect him to suddenly feel motivated. All you have really done is say to him that he is being a bad boyfriend but you spend more time on that rather than explaining your real feelings and situation to him. ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being the bank for my gambling boyfriend
Q. Hello, So I've been with my bf for 4 years. Its been a battle to say the least. Some major control issues for the 1st 3 yrs on his behalf. He's finally loosening up over this last year except he still contacts me excessively. Which I find ann...
A. 6 June 2012: It just surprises me that you are still with him. I have no idea what future you can ever hope to have with this guy. Not to mention the fact that you continue to take care of him allows him to remain the way he is. Even if he changes I am sure it ... (read in full...)
I lied about who I was and have lost the trust of my ldr boyfriend
Q. Ok, so it's a very long story; I'm a huge liar, or was a huge liar now I'm just a regular liar I guess. Ever since I was 13 I adopted a persona that I would use for online purposes. Things got weird when I started to actually value this life more ...
A. 5 June 2012: You will gain his trust again when you learn to trust yourself. Things were simple when you were 13 but you are much older now so I think you need to grow up and get a grip on yourself. That trust for an online relationship can only be rebuilt after ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is paying for all of his ex's bills and I don't think its right
Q. Hello everyone! I need some advice on a situation. I’ve been dating this guy for 1 month but I’ve known him for 5 months. I always said I would never date a guy with kids and when I asked him in the beginning if he has kids, he said he’s doing a DNA ...
A. 5 June 2012: Yes she is using him BUT he wants to be in that position. We all know the real issue is not just about the bills, but the fact that he is taking care of a girl that he broke up with. It is either he is with you or her. Not both. This situation is ... (read in full...)
Still a Virgin at 28 years old and I want to get rid of it.
Q. I'm an attractive educated female and I'm about to turn 29 years old and I haven't had sex yet. Don't get me wrong, I've done everything but get penetrated. I was waiting till marriage but I have no prospects and I don't want this to be a problem ...
A. 3 June 2012: When the time is right to tell him, you should tell him. Like I mentioned to a small amount in my previous post, if he cares about you, he will stick around. Similarly, don't just tell him outright. I am sure the discussion about sex will happen s... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend's friend is interested in me but she's 2 years younger and I don't really know if I should pursue this
Q. Hello, I turned 18 late July last year. The September after, I started dating a girl who was 16 at the time and 17 in March. I think that's a fairly significant age gap, but it wasn't really a problem mostly because her and her parents are fair...
A. 2 June 2012: When I was 25, I dated a girl that was 17. Sick? Yes. But weirdly I did not know her age until we actually decided to date. I only assumed she was 23 because she seems so mature. Anyway, there aren't much bridges to burn since...well..your girl left ... (read in full...)
Should I wait another day and try a simple, "hey!" text? Or just not do anything else?
Q. IM 20. Home for the summer from college. Met this girl back in August in a school club (we meet on mondays and have a few parties, thats about the only time i saw her), she was dating someone at the time and i wasnt really into her. She didnt seem ...
A. 1 June 2012: `Maybe you have kept that connection alive but I doubt the girl has. You have to wait till you see her face to face to really decide if she is still into you. If you get no reply until you see her, then do not get your hopes up. I don't mean to ... (read in full...)
The ultimate "one-sided relationship
Q. I'm a 35 year old male and Financial consultant. My girlfriend is 25. We have a beautiful two year old daughter and have been dating and living together for the past three years. She traveled to NY three times since we began dating. Hasn't worked ...
A. 30 May 2012: Have you tried to talk to her genuinely about these problems? Genuinely in terms of mmm....no argument and that sort of stuff. What are her goals in life? Ambitions? Usually in a couple people try to work things out and find interests in each other. ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if he will ever forgive me?
Q. So I have been dating this amazing guy for 5 months and about a month ago things started getting rough. He said work was super stressful and he didn't have any time anymore. I tried really hard to respect him and give him his space but it got to ...
A. 30 May 2012: I honestly think you are being cheated on but that's just me. You cant really DO anything but just say that you are sorry and move on. Maybe he will eventually explain to you why he had his co-worker over. ... (read in full...)
Still a Virgin at 28 years old and I want to get rid of it.
Q. I'm an attractive educated female and I'm about to turn 29 years old and I haven't had sex yet. Don't get me wrong, I've done everything but get penetrated. I was waiting till marriage but I have no prospects and I don't want this to be a problem ...
A. 29 May 2012: I understand your problem. I had feared this same situation myself so I took the opportunity when I was younger. A decision like this is better to be based on the future rather than experiences from the past.
The problem with FWB is that most guy... (read in full...)
What can I use my PhD to do next? Will I seem overqualified to enter good jobs in business?
Q. I'm currently feeling a bit lost and was hoping for some advice. I'm in my final year of a PhD in biochemistry (9 months left) and I'm not sure where I want to go next. I took the position because it was more or less offered to me on a plate at a ...
A. 29 May 2012: Hey you can always look into travelling to area where healthcare is badly needed even though the countries are developed, like Trinidad and Tobago or another Caribbean island. These are places you can even start your own small business in a small ... (read in full...)
What can I do to bring our once vibrant funfilled, loving, affectionate relationship back to life?
Q. I am twenty seven and have been with a man 22yrs my senior for three years, i feel like i'm no longer what he desires or is interested in.. We dont conversate and our sex life has nearly stopped. What can i do to bring our once vibrant funfilled, ...
A. 29 May 2012: Have you asked him about HIM? About his feelings or what he is going through? Have you still tried to talk to him without attacking him? I mean something must have changed but there isn't much to really work on. If nothing changes then you should ... (read in full...)
Ifeel like she expects us to take care of her baby!
Q. Hey everyone in need of some good and honest advice because im not really sure what to do or how to feel. So here goes... I have a 9 month old daughter and I have a friend with 4 kids being 6,5,2 and a 5 month old. Now she doesn't work and uses go...
A. 27 May 2012: But this is not your problem and not your baby. Further more, you have helped way past any friend should. Not only are you offering but she has come to the habit of asking as well.
The boyfriend is supposed to give her child support. Also you shou... (read in full...)
Does it ever happen that the guy falls for the girl who's been standing beside him all along?
Q. Hi, just wondering what are the possible outcomes for my situation here. This guy Josh is one of my closest ever friends..we tell each other absolutely everything, have helped each other through our hardest times (parents divorce, death). We had a ...
A. 26 May 2012: Why don't you just tell him how you feel?... (read in full...)
Scared? Moved on? Played?
Q. Met a (never married but just got out of bad 10-12 yr relationship - not the mother and did a job on them emotionally and mentally-she cheated on him) single dad little over a year ago. He's never had a positive female connection in his life ...
A. 26 May 2012: I think the relationship between the two of you is actually too gentle and almost care free. When you give guys so much luxury they tend to take advantage, but the same can be said for both men and women. It was a relationship with no boundaries ... (read in full...)
Is this man who I'm having an affair with claims to like me so much, then why is he avoiding me?
Q. Ok I can't believe I did this i never in the 21 years that I’ve been with my husband cheated on him. People on this page can’t think any worse of me then I think of myself. My husband is the first man I ever been with. I’m 38 now I take very good ...
A. 26 May 2012: You feel this badly about what you did yet you care about the words he said? I don't really get that.
In any case , being tight means that you were "small" down there, enough to squeeze. There no real deep hidden meaning behind it. I'm pretty sure... (read in full...)
Can't get to a second date for the life of me
Q. There is something wrong going on here... I had a date with a girl that I met on an online dating site last night and kept it relatively light, good conversation flowed and she seemed happy to talk about a wide variety of topics (i.e. - school, ...
A. 25 May 2012: I think the type of dating you are doing, most guys are doing as well and these girls are maybe looking for something more rather than just a normal date. Remember while u might be connected based on her looks and gentle personality, a girl is ... (read in full...)
My friends and family believe that this guy is bad news but he makes me happy. What do I do?
Q. I'm pretty sure there is no other position like mine anywhere else in the world. It's so confusing. Me and this guy have been on and off for a while. We were friends with benefits at first but I began to fall in love with him and he did too. We ...
A. 24 May 2012: You are being played big time my dear. You and millions of other girls fall for guys like this everywhere. You are too blinded by your teen rage of rebelling to see the obvious truth. I am sure there are other guys out there who genuinely want to be ... (read in full...)
He's with someone else but says he still needs me?
Q. soo im really confused! me and this guy have been talking for a long time! we had a connection before like 3 years ago and i thought he was my first love, we started talking agian like 2 years ago because i was tellin my friends about how much i ...
A. 24 May 2012: If he wanted to be with you, he would be already.
Yes you are only 15 but you can tell the difference between reality and imagination. The two of you are close and anyone can appreciate that but you've allowed him to have this control on you and ... (read in full...)
How important is relationship experience when choosing a partner?
Q. I wonder, how important is dating or relationship experience when choosing a partner? Does someone need to have relationship experience for you to consider them a viable partner? How do you view inexperience or someone with little relationship...
A. 24 May 2012: Well these questions can produce endless answers because sometimes you can even get those answers where people actually do the opposite. The important thing is to decide for yourself, the answers to these questions, at the same time understanding ... (read in full...)
Whenever I have problems he calls them stupid. Is it wrong to want to talk?
Q. My boyfriend and I don't argue a lot, but when we do, it's BAD. And there is a routine to it that I've been having trouble dealing with. It goes a little something like this: 1) I tell him what I'm having a problem with/what I'm upset about 2...
A. 24 May 2012: Some guys can listen and some guys can't. You have the latter.
When you talk about your problems, guys normally want to solve these problems and really analyse stuff in this manner. Ofc girls just want to talk and express themselves. He thinks that... (read in full...)
My married man said I cant have no one else but him
Q. I have been with a married man for going on 8 months now and it seems that we go well together, meaning the relationship between us just keeps going, we dont seem to have any problems, yeah sometimes i get mad at him when i cant be with him but he ...
A. 24 May 2012: Yet you put yourself through it anyway. Why complain when you chose to do this? No one is forcing you to do something that you do not want to do. Yet you seem to want to blame yourself. Blaming yourself or him does not solve anything. You need to ... (read in full...)
Should I give it a go with this friendship again?
Q. I don't know what to do, someone has popped back into my life and am I making a big, big mistake even replying back or should i leave it in the past and move on... I used to be best friends with this girl, we were close all throughout colle...
A. 23 May 2012: I don't see what benefit it could possibly have to TRY to be friends with her again. I think she needs to make way more effort than some simple message to show she cares or has even changed. I gave my friend the exact same advice. I told her as well ... (read in full...)
Should I just try to have some fun with this girl?
Q. I haven't dated anyone since my ex and I broke up 9 monthhs ago. We had dated for 2 years, and within a week after we had broken up she was with someone else, and I had been completely replaced. After that experience I dont know if I want to let...
A. 22 May 2012: You are over analysing the situation. Just ask her out/go steady or whatever it is that people your age say. :P
Yeah you don't want to get hurt...but you have to grow some balls ya? Life isn't about letting fear control you. It IS about taking t... (read in full...)
My wife has guy friends and our sex life is terrible! should I give up?
Q. Hello All! Need some help with this one. My wife of 4.5 years wants to be able to spend the night at guy friends house. Heres the story, Throughout our relationship she has always had a close guy friend. Usually guys that will dote on h...
A. 21 May 2012: I think the relationship you have with your wife certainly goes out of the boundaries of a normal one. I don't know if therapy and all these issues are excuses to ignore your own feelings but it seems like the "better" she gets the less she has come ... (read in full...)
FWB with my best friend. Is this going anywhere?
Q. Hello everyone, I'm getting into a situation and i need your advice! Like so many other before me, i'm sleeping with my guy best friend. We are very close and this happened once and we said it shouldn't happen again. Long story short, we sleep ...
A. 21 May 2012: The best thing to do is to ask him outright if he is interested in a relationship with you or not. General questions to him will not get you anywhere. Then give him a day (perhaps the next day) to give you an answer and tell him sincerly to consider ... (read in full...)
Should I pay my children's' father's debt?
Q. My grandma passed away in march, it still brings tears to my eyes just thinking about her. However she was 95 and was able to be in her own home which is better than other ways. I was surprised to get a summons as she left something for my children ...
A. 21 May 2012: DO NOT let him know that it is money when the time comes for you to actually take the money. HE or the both of you should work off paying the debt normally. Keep the money for your kids. Have something for their future. This is the best advice ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't want sex anymore!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 18 months, and we have been living together for six months. When we started the relationship, sex was very good and quite regular at least one or two times a week but over the last seven to eight mo...
A. 20 May 2012: Try to tell her how you feel, just in the same way you told us, and if she does not understand then expect that this will indeed roll over. There must be something wrong because the relationship must work both ways and theres only so much headaches ... (read in full...)
I've fallen for my 26 year old communication teacher
Q. This is about another young adult going crazy over a matured teacher. More specifically, about a 22 year old post grad student falling for a 26+ year old communications skills teacher. She was a replacement teacher, who took very few (only...
A. 18 May 2012: I do not think you really love you. It just seems like more infatuation. You want something you can not have, and because she is a teacher and much older than you, it makes it more "taboo" and therefore more desirable. I understand you do like her ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hasn't been herself since her grandmother died
Q. Okay, back in March my girlfriend's great grandma died, and she was very close to her. She was sad for about a week, and then she started to be normal again. Then all of a sudden one day she just starts acting different and not happy. Then ...
A. 18 May 2012: Sorry to hear that. I wish ya the best of luck. Leave her be and just live a little for yourself now. I'm sure you had it tough tending to all her feelings. Now you are free so go out and have fun. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hasn't been herself since her grandmother died
Q. Okay, back in March my girlfriend's great grandma died, and she was very close to her. She was sad for about a week, and then she started to be normal again. Then all of a sudden one day she just starts acting different and not happy. Then ...
A. 18 May 2012: I think you need to give her space because like you said, she seems to have fun with other people. The more you ask her if she is ok, the more she will be reminded of the pain she had. The thing is there is very little you can really do because for ... (read in full...)
I've been interested in my friend for over 3 years and our mutual friend asked me not to tell her yet, only for me to find out that he's been having sex with her!! I feel so betrayed by both of them!
Q. I have been interested in a girl for over three years. I've never looked at another woman the same way. We are very good friends and we share a mutual friend. The reason I never said anything to her was because I discussed it with our mutual friend ...
A. 17 May 2012: I have been there myself so I know how hard it is. You really should stop talking to either of them. Firstly that girl doesn't seem like the dream girl you'd hope to be with. And secondly your with a friend like that, who needs an enemy? Either way ... (read in full...)
I worry that she compares me with her ex. Will she have a memory of her 'best sex' with her ex?
Q. I have a great girlfriend and we get along really well. Everything is going along perfectly and we really see a future together. Currently we are long distance as we are seperated for the summer, and my mind is giving me some troubles. I was a v...
A. 13 May 2012: Those issues rarely matter to girls. It will matter if you let it bother you and make it an issue. Sex isn't everything to girls as it is to guys. What if the tables were turned...I'm sure you wouldn't want your new love to be constantly tormented ... (read in full...)
Why do people react so negatively when I say I don't want to get married or have children?
Q. Maybe, I am too young to say this, but I am just not interested in getting married or having kids. Now, don't get me wrong. While I do not want to get married, it doesn't mean I don't want to find and live my life with that one special partner....
A. 13 May 2012: Well in your opinion Marriage and kids may not play a role but the special person you find, it might matter to him. I'm not trying to make you understand why Marriage is or isn't important but you have to understand why it is important to other ... (read in full...)
I want my b/f to pay more attention to me than to his laptop!
Q. Dear, Cupid. Me and my significant other have been together for almost two years now. And for the past 10 months, we have been having some problems. He just doesn't seem intrested in sex with me anymore. It all first started, when he got a laptop....
A. 12 May 2012: When the two of you argue, what does he say are his reasons for not wanting to do it?... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has a SIGNIFICANTLY lower sex-drive than me
Q. I've been dating this woman for 3 years, and I love everything about her very much. All except one thing, she has an extremely low sex-drive. Where I would be content with 1-2 times a week at LEAST, we're currently having sex every 6-7 weeks, and ...
A. 12 May 2012: You need to talk to her about this and express it the exact same way you did to us. If she still doesn't seem it to be important then I don;t think she loves you at all and this relationship that the two of you have would not seem like a ... (read in full...)
Bitterness from boyfriend flirting
Q. My bf and I have been together for about 1.5 years now n he is now completely commited to me, but in the beggining he used to flirt with these girls. I brought up that it bothered me, then we argued, and he still insisted that she was just a friend ...
A. 12 May 2012: You should try to get over it. If he was willing to do all of this in order to come closer to you, you should pull your own and come closer to him. You can't expect there to be perfection in relationships after all no one is perfect so forgive him ... (read in full...)
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