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... Send *earo a private message | | | *earo's profile:Nothing qualifies me to help people. But I always try to treat people the way I treat my best friends when they need help. It doesn't take much to help someone. Sometimes all they need is an open ear.
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I want to go slow -- are guys not willing to wait anymore?
Q. I used to be in an very emotionally unhealthy relationship of five years which was my first one i was 19- and it lasted until i was 24. I finally left the abusive relationship and have taken three years to really recover and get my self to start ...
A. 28 October 2013: At your age, I have to give you props because most ladies I know at this age are actually either into quickly settling down or just not looking for anyone "generally" (ie they want someone extremely specific). I myself am looking for someone for the ... (read in full...)
The spark is gone with my b/f, and there's this other guy ...
Q. I guess I will start by saying that I have a boyfriend for 2 years. We are in a very good terms with him and I care deeply for him and so does he. I guess it's love. My boyfriend and I have been on many adventures. I love him still, but I think I am ...
A. 25 October 2013: You are a young adult so you will often encounter these situations. There is no way to choose one and not hurt the other. I will also advise against making decisions solely based on what you feel. Using facts and judging one's behavior to suggest a ... (read in full...)
Should I continue to be her friend? Or distance myself? She doesn't want a relationship now
Q. Dear cupids, I have lots of questions. Okay, so I have told a girl I like her and want to be be more than just friends. However, she told me she treat me like a 'brother', a person she can talk to. She said she don't want and not wanting to have ...
A. 13 October 2013: I know it seems like she is dangling it in the air, but she was just being nice while still trying to reject you. Basically she does not have any feelings for you whatsoever. In fact, if you wait and put in tons of effort and stick around, she will ... (read in full...)
She says we don't have enough "quality time" together, even though we're living together
Q. Ok this is my first time writing on something like this, but I know my girlfriend has asked for online help before and said its really helpful so here I am. We have been together for around 5 years I think and we've just moved in together but eve...
A. 12 October 2013: I think after five years a couple should be wanting more solid foundations of being together, rather than finding excuses to hang out with friends. No one says you can't hang out with friends but the way you are conveying your life, it is as if her ... (read in full...)
My LDR is never there for me
Q. I am in a long distance relationship with a guy. We have been together for 1 year. He loves me, I know that. But whenever I need him, he is never there for me. If am disturbed at night, he prefers to sleep because he doesn't feel like spoiling his ...
A. 11 October 2013: This is the problem of long distance but you should also ask yourself if he was any closer, would he break his schedule to comfort you. I know I would do it for my girl. But perhaps this is something you must think about if you are willing to ignore ... (read in full...)
After two years, he doesn't want kids. This is a different kind of rejection--I am devastated.
Q. I've been in a serious relationship for two years now. The topic of kids has been a back and forth issue for us--it's a stereotype, but here we go- I want children, and always have--he doesn't. He recently made that abundantly clear. After two...
A. 11 October 2013: I think it is rather silly to want kids just because your life hasn't been 100% the way you expected it to be. Even more so to want kids just because you are depressed. Having kids shouldn't be something to fill a void in your past. More so, life ... (read in full...)
I don't feel like I'm loved by my boyfriend and he always puts his mom first!
Q. My boyfriend and I have more issues than I can count. We are in our late 20s, been together 3+ yrs, and live together. Issue #1, he is a mamas boy. Whatever mom wants, he does. He goes above and beyond son duties. He gives her just as much, if not ...
A. 10 October 2013: I think this is relationship is not worth pursuing for the reasons you have mentioned. Your time would be better spent finding someone who wants to share a life with you. ... (read in full...)
Why do I attract insecure guys?
Q. In the dating pool since 8 months after ending a 5 year relationship (we broke up cause we were going different directions in life)... Prior to that I had very little experience with guys, so dating is kind of new to me... I'm a shy and quiet pe...
A. 8 October 2013: I don't think it is you. I think around this age bracket people have been through difficult experiences or inversely have not. Either way, they have adopted a bad habit of learning the wrong way from their past. I tend to be a happy person and I ... (read in full...)
I've become the maid and babysitter in my house because of the way my wife now acts. What can I do?
Q. i am 35 and my wife is 30 we have been married a year but together almost 6 years. we have sex maybe 1-2 times ever other month. before that about 1 year ago it was 1-3 times amonth, we have a son together and her 8 yr old daughter whom believes im ...
A. 7 October 2013: Divorce her and take your kids with you... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's angry venomous words are really getting to me!
Q. My girlfriend gets mad at me over such petty things and then says awful things to me and breaks up with me. It's a terrible pattern and it's killing me. We are literally great one minute, then the next, out of nowhere, something small and trivia...
A. 5 October 2013: I would tell her exactly what you wrote in your second paragraph, give her one more chance and if it still repeats, I would walk.
The moment I do walk, I call up some friends, grab some money and hot some serious bars, clubs, outings and generall... (read in full...)
Its a wonderful opportunity for her, but what about me?
Q. i've been seeing my current girlfriend for a little over a year now. we have an absolutely wonderful and loving relationship. she's my best friend. with all of that being said, she has informed me that more than likely, she's going to spend 8...
A. 3 October 2013: I think you should speak to her about the relationship and ask about its future. If you can't handle being away from someone for so long it might be better to end things. Her career or so seems very demanding in this way and at the same time, you ... (read in full...)
A Frank Comment on Miley Cyrus
Q. A Frank Comment On Miley Cyrus By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I do not normally comment on the antics of popular culture, as so much of what we see of movies and TV are fiction based romances and relationships. I tried my best to stay fo...
A. 29 September 2013: I think a lot of people especially young people do understand that Ms Cyrus can do whatever she wants and they do understand her past and her goals for the future.
Teenagers and young adults feel like she is trying too hard to be differen... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated, on top of that we are of different religions.
Q. I am 23 years old and am a doctor. I am in india. I am in love with my boyfriend for 5years our relationship has been fine except for a few ups and downs . During the first year of our college my bf was dating a classmate of ours they then stopped ...
A. 29 September 2013: For now you should stop trying to convince your parents. You need to find out where this relationship is going because there is a big chance he may cheat on you.
When a man calls another woman "his sister" this is very questionable. Also you did ... (read in full...)
My Uncle's solution has upset me. What can I do? He wants to disappear as payback for his wife's adultery.
Q. Dear Aunts i now find myself asking you for your advice on this family issue. My uncle and aunt have played a critical role in my up bringing for the first fifteen years of my life. My uncle confided in me that his wife my aunt confessed to him t...
A. 29 September 2013: He has spent his whole life being happy and sharing it with the ones he loved, most of all his wife. Unfortunately, his wife and his life with her turned out to be a lie. It has been a huge portion of his life he has wasted while he has done nothing ... (read in full...)
What's the difference between "real sex" and soft, vanilla-porn?
Q. I have yet to be in a relationship or, as pathetic as it is to admit, have sex (mostly because - and it's not a low self-esteem thing - I'm unattractive; women aren't interested in me, never have and it seems like never will; I get it, and I'm okay ...
A. 28 September 2013: Porn is very mechanical and some emotion involved and something you watch. Sex is very emotional and equally as mechanical and something YOU experience. The difference between the two is like night and day, black and white, apples and oranges.
... (read in full...)
My married male friend has admitted to being in love with me!
Q. Ok, so I am a 21 yr old female, student, and i have this male friend(30), an audiologist, who is married and has a kid.. I always saw him in this friend area...plus he is my best friend. He admitted of being Madly in love with me. It was a ...
A. 27 September 2013: Truth be told, I think you already know what you need to do. You can not be best friends with someone who has feelings for you. Also you are not respecting his feelings and you continue to speak with him. He wants you, and you do not want to be with ... (read in full...)
Why do I want to hold onto my ex when he cheated and I didn't?
Q. Hi and thanks My ex boyfriend and I are still communicating and I still love him but hes distancing himself from me. We broke up about 4 weeks ago and his reason for being aloof is his son is talking back to his mom. Yrs ago we were in a rela...
A. 25 September 2013: For one, you are being constantly manipulated. You seem to believe that this man needs you and you think one day he will change for you.
Secondly, you have never tried to move on and you keep filling the shoes of being a victim. But after "y... (read in full...)
What do his actions mean... friends or more than friendly?
Q. A friend of mine, we'll call him Kyle, and I have been flirting quite a bit lately. I've known him for a number of years but have never acted like this with each other before. ever. Here is just one example. I want to know what his actions mean...
A. 25 September 2013: The best thing you can do is to just be honest and to be yourself. If you are interested, show interest. If you are uncomfortable with something then say so too! Things are working out I am sure and you didn't have to be someone you are not, so go ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's best friend is a girl who likes him and it really bothers me!
Q. Hey everyone so I'm not sure if I'm over reacting or what. But my boyfriend has a girl best friend I'm not used to dating guys who have girl best friends infact I absolutely hate it! But he's been friends with her way before we started dating. They ...
A. 24 September 2013: Sounds like over thinking and over reacting. You've gotten upset for an assumption and in trying to deal with this problem you are essentially pushing him away. So he said "you too" and you thought she said "I love you". What if she said "take ... (read in full...)
What do his actions mean... friends or more than friendly?
Q. A friend of mine, we'll call him Kyle, and I have been flirting quite a bit lately. I've known him for a number of years but have never acted like this with each other before. ever. Here is just one example. I want to know what his actions mean...
A. 24 September 2013: Jokes usually lasts for a couple of minutes, if so long. There's no way a guy would make so much advances, compliments and attention to someone without some sort of interest. Now, I do think the "pre-drinking" allowed for some extra things to happen ... (read in full...)
How can a man say we will always be great friends, then he loves me in the same breath?
Q. Hello all! I am a 43 year old woman who, (after 2.5) years of being single, have met a 46 year old man who is a wonderful match for me. We laugh, and have a killer intimate relationship... We've been seeing each other for about 4.5 months now, ...
A. 21 September 2013: You should not be intimate with someone that you do not trust. You should take the time to get to know him as much as possible: like his residence and his feelings for you. Either he is not clear of your intentions or he is not clear of yours. ... (read in full...)
URGENT adivce: is this too weird or should I just leave it?
Q. So the story, I need your honest opinion- I know its long, but you need to understand the context if it all. We're in our mid 20s and have been studying together for the last year and a half. We're not friends but we're friendly- we have done gro...
A. 21 September 2013: If I had to say, it just seems like you are taking the very easy way out. You KNOW he never checks facebook but you send him messages on it anyway. While you might think that you are putting it out there, I think your intentions will only just be ... (read in full...)
This guy seems to know too much about me -- could he be tracking my online activity?
Q. Hi. I was wondering if there is anyone on here who knows enough about computers to tell me something. How easy is it for a person to track your IP address? I ask because I suspect someone of doing it to me. He doesn't know me very well yet se...
A. 20 September 2013: If one knows how to track an IP it doesn't mean they can track your website surfing behaviour. Chances are that this person is simply following your social media and you could have left traces of yourself on old networking sites that are considered ... (read in full...)
Is this relationship hopeless and we are just not compatible?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 7 months. Our relationship is very complicated! But we love each other. Somedays are wonderful we get along great. Then somedays we fight for days and hate each other and wanna be done I get emotional and hes an ...
A. 19 September 2013: If you want to stay with him then it is your choice. No one should tell you to leave someone if he/she has not done you any wrong. These things can be a result of just being young adults in a relationship.
If you are completely frustrat... (read in full...)
Due to religious differences, our friendship can go no further. Do I bring it up with her or let it remain unspoken?
Q. OK, I am wondering if you can help me. To make it short and simple, there is this young woman at my job who I have become friends with. I like her very much, as she is very smart, reflective, and has strong values, and we have a lot in common. ...
A. 16 September 2013: In my country people of different religions end up together. These couples last because they choose to not force the other into their own religion. You don't have to be liberal to see the obvious - communication is the most important thing in a ... (read in full...)
Why is she so quiet and boring?
Q. I recently met a beautiful girl that's 10 years younger. Physically, she's perfect but she is extremely quiet on dates. It's very awkward as we never engage in conversations. We can go 2-3 hours without saying much to eachother. I try to sometimes ...
A. 16 September 2013: Well before you call it off you can always ask her why she is so quiet. She could be somewhat reserved or probably does not have much going on in her life. ... (read in full...)
Help me read the signs here
Q. Hi guys, I'm rubbish at reading the signs! So any advice would be great! Met a boy on holiday about 10 weeks ago, he told me he really liked me, he lived in the same area as me, and wanted to meet up! I was in a complicated relationship at ...
A. 16 September 2013: You ask a lot of questions which we don't really have the answers to. You should ask yourself if you are interested in him or not and if you do like him, then maybe you should be the one to ask him out. Perhaps he is waiting for you to actually make ... (read in full...)
Can I climb out of this rut? And get my life back into some semblence of Progress?
Q. This might generate some flack because this isn't technically a relationship question, but I'm so deep in despair that I don't know where to turn!! Please, pretty please, can you help me? I'm in despair! It's that I have had all these high hopes...
A. 15 September 2013: Aren't there any friends you have that you can turn to? If you can't get a job and your own life you might as well get back to Spain or get some money for a social life to meet new people. The reality is that you changed your life at an awkward age. ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong in how I asked the question about her 'number'? I've had 6 sexual partners, she's had 65.
Q. I am not your typical guy but to date in my life i have had a total of six female sexual partners. All were long term relationships and each relationship was rewarding and satisfying. I started these when i was sixteen years old and continued ...
A. 15 September 2013: I assume you meant to imply that the number of partners she had was not important to you, as it is just as number and you were genuinely curious about her past.
She would have interpreted it as "well the difference between 10 and 50 is 40 so yo... (read in full...)
He dropped me without any warning and it bothers me!
Q. Hi, I need a bit of reassurance. I was with a guy over the summer after getting out of a long term relationship with another earlier that year. I wasn't looking for a serious relationship at all, but I started to really like this guy more than I had ...
A. 12 September 2013: I suppose you feel used and now your confidence is hurt a bit but perhaps you should not be going after guys who are known players. You even said it yourself that you wouldn't have dated him in the long run. Instead of looking-to quick flings you ... (read in full...)
I am very broody but I think my boyfriend is scared!
Q. Hi guys, need some advice regarding having a baby. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years now. We live together and have good jobs with decent incomes. I really really want a baby. The broodiness that I constantly feel is becom...
A. 12 September 2013: Sounds to me like you are rushing into this and letting your emotions get the better of you...I could be off a bit because perhaps I do not understand the woman's mind as much as I think I do but there are things to consider.
Firstly your boyfrien... (read in full...)
My ex-girlfriend saw me with my new friend!
Q. I was in a relationship for a year and I recently broke up with her. Its been about two weeks and we only talked once. I broke up with her because she cheated on me. She blacked out and I guess from what she told me she made out with another guy ...
A. 11 September 2013: If you want to move on then continue what you have been doing up to now. Keep dating this new girl and continue to take it slow.
If you don't want to move on, add drama into your life, and perhaps ruins chances with this new girl then call you... (read in full...)
Is the problem that I masturbate too much? Should I tell her?
Q. Ok so I've have had sex with about 4 girls in my life and I'm 26 year old mail. The problem is none of them have ever got me to come and I'm not exactly sure why I can't! I can get myself to come easily. I can't come for my current girlfriend and it ...
A. 9 September 2013: Whether or not you tell her, your goal should be to ridding yourself of this addiction. A first step would be to researching on how to cure addictions. Oh, and btw, masturbation to this extent will cause this problem because your dick is too used to ... (read in full...)
Is my fiance selfish? He wanted sex when I was ill and complained when he didn't get it.
Q. I was sick for three days during the week and had a stomach ache all three days. I ended up being very tired and going to bed early and even taking a nap during the day. My fiance wanted a midweek romp and not just a weekly, but I was sick. Nor...
A. 3 September 2013: This is sort of the consequences of taking viagra, he can't totally control those urges. Tell him to lay off it. ... (read in full...)
I get cold feet as soon as I get a date
Q. Hey all! So I've joined a dating website and have been approached by many people. I like the attention and getting dates is not the problem. Its going on them. I get cold feet a day before a date or when a guy fixes a date. I stop talking and...
A. 3 September 2013: You know, the guys are probably nervous as well. There doesn't seem any logical reason on why you should put more effort into backing out of the dates so this seems more like a bad habit to me. It is something you just have to overcome because the ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has cheated on me several times. Is it acceptable for me to have an affair of my own to show her that there are consequences to her behaviour?
Q. My 28yo GF has been with me for 5 years. This is the best relationship either of us have ever had. Its not perfect but we enjoy each other and we are good for each other most of the time. My GF openly says she used to be a huge cheater. Then...
A. 31 August 2013: There are some things you have not considered in the ordeal which is understandable. It is hard to be the faithful one when the other isn't.
Firstly, I don't think she will change over night, nor do I think she will change after you have had your... (read in full...)
He can't respect that I'm sensitive
Q. I'm posting here because I would appreciate someone's input on this. My boyfriend and I have been dating for several months now. I noticed this before but recently it's been bugging me a lot more. I'm pretty sensitive and emotional at tim...
A. 31 August 2013: I think this is actually more common in more mature couples but there is a point where the couple eventually learns to listen to each other: although, it is not necessarily an age issue. If that point never comes then I think breaking up might be ... (read in full...)
How do men feel about dominating women during sex?
Q. Hi Everyone, I was just wondering about submissive/dominant sexual relationships. Over the last few years I've gotten really into the idea of being completely dominated during sex; tied up, handcuffed, spanked, etc. I don't think I'm a masochist ...
A. 31 August 2013: I am often the dominant one when it comes to activities of the bedroom, and I usually engage in activities outside the bedroom because well it is just who I am. Basically, what you described in your fantasy is who I am, but I do like to mix it up ... (read in full...)
Sister in law wants sex and my wife wants me to give it to her
Q. I'm not a young man anymore. I've had a good marriage so far, at least I though we did. First, my wife and my sister in law were both victims of being raped by their father as teens, it was kept a deep family secret. I'm not sure about this ...
A. 31 August 2013: I don't think you need to subject yourselves to their miseries of sexual frustrations nor do you have to pretend to be the healer for their awful events in the past. While is it sad what has happened to them in the past, it is not an excuse for them ... (read in full...)
What do guys do to have clear skin?
Q. This a question mostly for guys who take care of their skin. What do you guys use or do to have a beautiful smooth skin? Everytime I see a guy with smooth skin I get jealous. I'm 21 and I sport nice and well groomed beard but I do look a bit olde...
A. 30 August 2013: I have the same problem but everyone is sort of different, you would want to see a dermatologist to figure out what is best for you. Acne treatment can get complicated, from using Baking Soda to Neutrogena-On-The-Spot. Sometimes, it can be because ... (read in full...)
Nothing has been said since I reminded her of her sexual past, should I bring it back up?
Q. I am upset over something but don’t have the right to be. I posted last hear on Dear cupid and got some good feed back. Let me explain and get your reaction. I have suffered from retroactive jealousy for a number of years. I realize the p...
A. 25 August 2013: Even though you pointed her past out to her and brought it up, in the end you've accomplished nothing. The fact that nothing was said on the aftermath makes this whole situation worse. Instead of seeking help with your jealousy you have introduced ... (read in full...)
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