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... Send *earo a private message | | | *earo's profile:Nothing qualifies me to help people. But I always try to treat people the way I treat my best friends when they need help. It doesn't take much to help someone. Sometimes all they need is an open ear.
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How can I stop being used by men?
Q. Ever since I turned 21 - now I am turning 30 I have always gone above and beyond for men. I would characterize myself as a young successful woman - I hold a good corporate job and two degrees and really Kee up with my appearance. Inside though I am ...
A. 21 June 2016: I don't think anyone wants to go into a lifelong relationship based on kissing ass but I think I get the general idea that you did what you thought was right. You've only had one real relationship and the first one not counting so much because it ... (read in full...)
Overwhelming depression has descended on me knowing my Bf will be away with his family until July. How can I stop this depression? What do I need to do about this?
Q. My boyfriend is away on a trip with his family. He hasn't even been gone two days and won't be back until the first week of July. I am not sure if this is normal but I am severely depressed. I have been crying a lot and have isolated myse...
A. 20 June 2016: It is not as bad as you think it is, and it could be worse. Don't let your emotions control your life. There is always something you can do to feel better in a situation. That funny thing about life is that there will always be bad experience, ... (read in full...)
I've asked my ex 3 times if he wants to hook up. He always says yes but it never happens
Q. Okay, so I've been horny lately and I ended up asking my ex if he was interested in hooking up and he said yes. But we never did it. I asked him 3 times, each time after I waited 2 weeks. The last time I asked was 4 weeks ago, and he said he was ...
A. 20 June 2016: Actions speak louder than words. In this case, his course of no action. ... (read in full...)
He puts his family above all else. Am I wrong to be feeling concerned about our future together, considering his actions?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a man for awhile now. There was that immediate spark and we being with him felt great and easy. He treated me better than anyone I had previously been with and made me happy. Gradually we started realizin...
A. 13 June 2016: It might be too soon to introduce each other to families. Or at least, he might be the one who feels like that. Have you met his family as well? Or has he gone out his way to introduce you?
He is clearly very close with his family and that is ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is mean but I can’t seem to leave her!
Q. I'm in a same sex relationship, and we've been together for about 9 months. There's something about her that makes me crazy. I've never felt like this before (I can say that honestly). But for the most of our relationship, she's been incredibly ...
A. 12 June 2016: Almost sounds like an abusive relationship, where you depend on her and she manipulates. Maybe you are just unhappy with the idea of not having someone to run to, but a part of growing up and being strong is the ability to stand on your own two ... (read in full...)
Hasty marriage breaking me
Q. Hi, I am from India and I am dealing with huge amount of stress due to a series of events since the last few months. I was in a long distance relationship since three years with the guy whom I married in January. We were not exactly a couple madly ...
A. 12 June 2016: Despite what it may seem like with your friends, marriage is not all peaches and berries. What you are experiencing is just a small touch of marriage. There will always be hardships and how you both overcome it will define who you are.
Of co... (read in full...)
His mother uses foul language and my boyfriend say I need thicker skin!
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend (24) and I have been together for about 7 years. His mother never truly liked me. She told him I was ugly from the get go and expressed her jealousy in vicious ways. It is only until recently that she started warming ...
A. 12 June 2016: Consider these things as your relationship moves forward, because these are things you can not ignore. Your boyfriend might think he is right for his own reasons, and you would feel the same given a different situation.
The larger issue might be... (read in full...)
How can I break this cycle? My life revolves around finding someone
Q. My life revolves around finding someone how can I break this cycle ? I just had my heart broken by my ex he left me because he didn't want to invest the time in our relationship and I can't get over it. It was only six months and although I did e...
A. 12 June 2016: When and if you do decide to go into a next relationship, try to DO things that encourage both yourself and your partner. It seems like your actions aren't particularly healthy for a relationship. Of course, it is fair to call it quits if you aren't ... (read in full...)
How can I move on from what seems to be true love?
Q. FWB with a guy who much like my boyfriend without the title (we both denied feelings for each other but i think it was clear we were very in love and also we lost our virginity to each other and were together for 2 years on-off). Two years ago he ...
A. 12 June 2016: Sounds like you are still living in the past. You can choose to live now. A big part of that is understanding that you were a different person in the past. You would have been more invested in your emotions back then. Wrap that around the fact that ... (read in full...)
Too short to be attractive?
Q. Hi. My bf n i have been dating for almost 4 yrs now. I sometimes fear that he doesn't find me attractive bc of my height. Hes 5 11 n im 4 11. Even though ge nvr brings up height as an issue for us i feel like im too short for him n just not sexy ...
A. 15 May 2016: No one is perfect but you can be perfect for each other. If you want to take the relationship seriously you should begin by focusing on things more than just looks. Yes you are short, and asking anyone a million times isn't going to change that. You ... (read in full...)
Should I ask my co-worker out to lunch?
Q. I am interested in my coworker. Should I ask her out to dinner? Signs (I think) she likes me: 1) The way she looks at me. I could just be entranced by her eyes/smile. 2) She eats her lunch when I do. I asked her to lunch today and she said ...
A. 13 May 2016: At least YOU like her. Ask her out without worrying if she likes you or not.... (read in full...)
We have a complicated 30 years together. I want to help my husband but don't know how!
Q. My husband and I were high school sweethearts. I was his first and he lied and said he had a few and I also lied and told him I had 2-3. It was a lot of partners. He has defended my honor in this little town we live in and has never questioned my ...
A. 13 May 2016: Seek out professional help together. There's isn't any written advice I could possibly to help this situation. There are too many issues to deal with and I don't think either of you understand each other even though you make it sound like you both ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's attitude towards my godchild turned me off. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Q. Hi everyone. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. We recently started talking about moving in together. I felt anxious about that cause although we get along very well, I still think we're in the "honeymoon" period or something. Any...
A. 12 April 2016: He was honest. He is just not ready for that sort of experience. After all, you even said yourself that moving in with him makes you anxious. Rightfully so after all it is a big step. On his end, having a child you need to take care of is also a big ... (read in full...)
He didn't offer his jacket--was I in the wrong to get upset?
Q. My guy and I have a lot of problems, one of them being that I feel he doesn't show he cares when it really matters. Today we were sitting in a classroom that was incredibly cold. I was taking a test online and couldn't leave the desk. At times I got ...
A. 2 March 2016: As you said, you both had an argument before. There are left over emotions from this so I would not read too much into this.
The issue is , asking someone to show how much they care is too vague. Be specific and tell him what you need. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to continue being friends with her but it upsets me
Q. I'm looking for pretty open minded advice here so bare with me lol. My boyfriend and I were together for about 4 years. We had a great relationship but towards the end we had some difficulties outside of our relationship that we couldn't really ...
A. 2 March 2016: I think it would be useful to understand why he feels the need to continue to have a friendship with her. It helps to listen to both parties without talking over each other.
Overall, it is a difficult thing to give up a friend, and as you said... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is horrible with communication and plans
Q. I love my boyfriend, we have been together for 9 months and get along great, but sometimes I feel that he doesn’t respect my time and is flaky. Or maybe I’m just too inflexible and put too much weight on his idea of “plans”. This happens all the ...
A. 11 January 2016: Unfortunately, mind reading isn't a known skill and though being perceptive is a good quality, I do not think it comes in this age group.
In your first paragraph, the indications of plan are "see you tomorrow?" and "I'll call you after work". T... (read in full...)
My boyfriend breaks up then texts me, wants to have sex and then blows me off!
Q. So my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me almost a month ago because he believed a relationship was not his best interest and I deserved better but still wanted us to be friends. It was a very emotional break up for the both of us. However, ...
A. 30 December 2015: I think the only one who is hoping for something more is you. The point of cutting off someone is to actually try to move on, if only for self healing. He's only lied to you and showed you his bad side to the end and you need to realize this. Maybe ... (read in full...)
She pushes me away but expects me to stay when shes hurting and says she needs me. What can I do to be more compassionate and understanding?
Q. I'm having a dilemma. My girlfriend is an incredible woman....considerate, generous, supportive, affectionate, honest, loyal, hardworking, compassionate, goal orient, intelligent, sensitive. Her amazing side is amazing. Then there is her other ...
A. 29 December 2015: You do work many hours but she doesn't see the benefit of it or refuses to acknowledge it.
She is unemployed and all she can offer are her emotions since she has nothing to do.
Stop being a door mat for her feelings because you are allowing... (read in full...)
Should I walk away from a man who is 90% perfect for me?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up in the end of October. We were arguing a lot. He says I'm too aggressive. As a native New Yorker I do have an edge. He's from the country with a very carefree laid back attitude. Our lease was up in December. We decided ...
A. 25 December 2015: I can understand when he says he wishes you were more submissive. Sometimes the argument is wrapt in anger and emotions and the point is lost. At the same time, he should appreciate that you wont back down or learn to cope since it is a big part of ... (read in full...)
I want to back to FWB or stop talking to him completely, however, we work together! What do I do?
Q. I hooked up with a friend. It's over now after 3 months. We work in the same department, are still friends and spend time together but I either want that arrangement back or want to stop talking to him completely. But we need to interact everyday at ...
A. 21 December 2015: I am sure there are other guys who are better and can also fill this role. No need to ruin your workplace environment over this one guy. ... (read in full...)
He says we can't date one another but then acts as if we are
Q. So long story short, after getting coffee he told me he couldn't date as he only dates Christian girls. Forward two months later and he's acting like we're a couple in everyway. I've been overseas for a month but he's messaging me everyday, say...
A. 17 December 2015: Do you hope he will be serious about you? Is this why you continue to converse with him? He seems to be serious about dating only Christian girls so maybe you should be serious about forming those kinds of relationships with someone you are actually ... (read in full...)
Considering our long standing connection, chemistry and flirtationship why has he put me on the back burner now?
Q. So there is this guy I've been having a "flirtationship" with since the tenth grade now gone into my senior year of high school the chemistry and attraction between himself and I is undeniable from kisses, hugs and conversations we share. We jus...
A. 17 December 2015: It is human nature. If someone can take advantage more often that not, they will. You guys had this flirtationship going on for so long that it while for you only seems natural to progress for him would it would be hard to see anything outside of ... (read in full...)
Why do people feel the need to try to set me up with guys I'm not interested in?
Q. This happens to me constantly, and it always puts me in an awkward position. I am almost never interested in the guy they've chosen for me, and then I feel guilty a.) because I feel I'm disappointing the friend who is doing the setting up, and b.) ...
A. 13 December 2015: It must a growing bad habit where they feel compelled or entitled to hook you up with guys. It is probably out of hand now so just tell your friends to stop hooking you up. Just keep it simple and to the point but most importantly let them know. If ... (read in full...)
I panic a lot. I feel I am failing. I have no idea what to do. How do I get over all this insecurity?
Q. Growing up as a child I always thought, money would come very easy. Then in my teenage years, I got into university quite early and finished early too, I thought immediately after graduation, everything was going to fall in place and work out just...
A. 11 December 2015: I had a few younger female friends who had or have great schooling/university level education and instead of feeling proud, they felt more anxious than anything else. They often felt like they were behind, and needed to catch up and 'have it all'. ... (read in full...)
Hes 42 and I'm 27, should I care what people say/
Q. I am a 27 year old single woman with no children. Over the holiday weekend I went out with friends from college, and met a 42 year old man. We exchanged phone numbers and have been talking ever since. He has told me a lot about himself and his ...
A. 3 December 2015: Yes you are an adult and no one will dispute that. But being an adult means accepting responsibility for your actions as well. It is more than just accepting/ignoring what people may think.
For example, it is only clear this man is looking ... (read in full...)
Fiancée's attitude makes me sick but how can I leave?
Q. A few weeks ago me and my fiancée of 2 years went to her parents house for her mom's birthday. It was there, her mother told the family she was sick. This is the wonderful woman who put my fiancée through school twice!, bought her a car when she ...
A. 1 December 2015: You don't have to marry her daughter to show the mom that you care about her. You can always talk to the mom and express how you feel and still be there for her. I don't think the mother would want to see you marry someone you do not love, and thus ... (read in full...)
What was my friend thinking? She talks about his bad points, yet then she put me in a difficult postion, that she must have known I would not appreciate?
Q. Hey aunts This is not a relationship question but a friendship question. So my best friend know how i feel about my ex and i have multiple times expressed that i do not want to talk to him if i don't have to (that is avoid him as much as po...
A. 1 December 2015: You should thank your friend that she looked out for your well being to have someone you both trust to take you home in your messed up condition. You need to grow up and accept responsibility of your own actions. You are not a little child so stop ... (read in full...)
Do I just stop talking to him or keep waiting ?
Q. hey everyone, i'm so confused about a guy right now. I don't know what to do. anyway i started talking to this guy a while ago and we started talking everyday back in september. we have hung out, i've stayed at his house twice the second time i st...
A. 29 November 2015: If he gets the things from a relationship like sex and compassion without being in a relationship, he's not going to think about being in one. I don't think he is a bad guy, just it is just part of human nature. I think the time between September ... (read in full...)
I broke "no contact" after 6 months with my ex-girlfriend, and I'm very confused by her response!
Q. I was with my girlfriend for almost a year, we had some really great times together and as many relationships do, some trying times as well. The last month of the relationship was really odd after she got back from out of town visiting family. We ...
A. 29 November 2015: You are a great guy I am sure. Let her go. She doesn't like you (anymore). Usually when someone starts "acting weird" there might be someone else involved. But that is a huge assumption on my part. Sometimes, we don't get that closure. Sometimes ... (read in full...)
We have a big decision ahead of us and he's not willing to discuss it!
Q. I'm in medical school and my boyfriend and I (I'm 25, he's 24, dating for 2+ years) have a process we are going through next year called "the match". We each basically have to match to a city and specialty and it involves this complicated algorithm. ...
A. 29 November 2015: I don't see the compromise you are referring to. You question whether he will sacrifice his career for you or not. Where is the compromise there? I don't see how his career is less important than yours. I'm sure he can see you want concrete answers ... (read in full...)
What to do? My boyfriend will not stop talking about the past
Q. My bf and I are moving in soon, but their is one big issue between us. During our time we've dated until now recently, he was the one who drove all the time to pick and drop me up at my home. I don't have my own car. I rely on my mother to allow me...
A. 27 November 2015: Why does he continue to bring up the past? Did he ever tell you why is feels the need to mention it?... (read in full...)
Why do I stay when he never uses my name?
Q. Hi everyone I just need a bit of advice. I have been going with my boyfriend for about 2 years. He secretly goes dancing without me although he knows I would love to go too, and he never calls me by my name although I ask him if he can remember ...
A. 27 November 2015: You linger because you hope one day he will come around. He is all you know and you think you deserve him. But we both know he wont change. He manages to have a gf (you) while not even remembering your name. Cute maybe at first. But after two years? ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with my over-bearing selfish family?
Q. How do I deal with my overbearing selfish family? Do I cut them off or distance myself? I feel like they are being selfish and not respecting me, my husband or our decisions. I am pregnant with out first child and naturally have talked about up...
A. 15 November 2015: I am also of the opinion that you should stick to your guns. Sadly, your family seems to have enjoyed the drama and it might be too late for "sticking to your guns" but I do see that you want to change even though they can't.
The most importan... (read in full...)
He doesn't seem to want to spend time with me anymore
Q. I would like to know what are some of the major obstacles couples face in a long distance relationship. I know that all couples need to work twice as hard to maintain a long distance relationship vs in person relationship... but what are some things ...
A. 15 November 2015: Long distance relationships without a centered goal of being together will just fail as more time passes. Unfortunately, one person will try harder and the other person will try less. He's not a bad person, it's just human nature. Within the first ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend, porn and being rejected because I don't look like the women he likes??
Q. Hello, I've been with my bf for 5 years, and he has a problem with porn. Ever since the beginning of our relationship I was somewhat aware of him using it, nbd really. I didn't know it was so often (and still don't know truthfully because I'm not ...
A. 11 November 2015: He is simply addicted to porn by now.
If he masturbates as well to porn, then this makes his problem exponentially greater. I wouldn't get too deep into the emotional issues on how this relates with you. He needs to stop watching porn... (read in full...)
I told my crush how I felt about her and she replied 'so cute'
Q. I sent my crush a long paragraph saying that I liked her and stuff and all she responded was "So Cute" with a bunch of Heart of emojis... what does this mean??? ...
A. 10 November 2015: The fact that you are unclear about what she meant, only suggests that she does not like you back. Don't message her anymore, and just move on. Maybe she will come around if you ignore her. ... (read in full...)
I can look past the religious stuff to give it a shot with him, what do I do?
Q. We got coffee, the next day he said we couldn't be more than friends cause I'm not is religion. We kept hanging out as friends, but he kept flirting and taking me out. Then he came over one night, we watched tv and talked a bunch, eventually he ...
A. 10 November 2015: If he isn't sure about his decision then don't continue doing things with him. He will eventually take advantage of the fact that you can look pass religion and allow him to be with you while he is unsure...not that he is a bad guy or anything. It's ... (read in full...)
Why are you still single?
Q. The last couple of guys who have been interested in dating me have all asked this question. From the little they know about me ( in the phase just before dating), they state how amazing of a catch I am, and wonder why it is that nobody has scooped ...
A. 8 November 2015: It is just conversation, to learn about the other person so I dont think you should take it offensively or as a compliment either. I am nearing 30 and single myself and I get asked this a few times. I admit it is hard to ignore but people are just ... (read in full...)
Wife's drunken antics took a turn for worse, and yet I am somehow the bad guy. What did I do wrong?
Q. To understand the question I'm asking, I must go over in detail what has transpired for the past couple weeks. My wife and I have been married for 6 months, and have been together for 5 years. She has been married before, and had a son with a person ...
A. 1 November 2015: Welcome to the world of ignorant people that drink and get drunk. Their claims are that they never did anything wrong, it is normal for them to get drunk, the other person (especially the partner) is/was the cause, there will never be any apology ... (read in full...)
Newly single, confused and need help! Does it sound like he has any interest in me outside of friendship?
Q. Hi all, I'm newly single and had been in a 10 year relationship since I was 18. I'm the first to admit that I'm not sure what I'm doing when it comes to men as I haven't dated my entire adult life. I recently met a man whilst on a business t...
A. 29 October 2015: There might be interest but you guys might be too far away to upkeep the interest. Messaging him randomly when stuff pops into your head is cute but it doesn't seem like he is taking the bait on that one. It doesn't seem like he has any interest in ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of two years has cheated on me with his estranged wife
Q. When I was barely 17, I fell into the trap of an older and more experienced man (Adam), thinking what we had was love. I was young and naive and was fooled by his compliments. No guy had ever taken interest in me before, so I was easily blinded by ...
A. 27 October 2015: Heartbreak comes to us in many shapes and forms. It is a difficult part of life. I understand your circumstances are complicated but there are things you have to accept.
Firstly, you need to accept that this man was not committed to you. He told ... (read in full...)
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