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... Send *earo a private message | | | *earo's profile:Nothing qualifies me to help people. But I always try to treat people the way I treat my best friends when they need help. It doesn't take much to help someone. Sometimes all they need is an open ear.
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Why was I ignored on Valentine's Day?
Q. My girlfriend and I currently having a long distance relationship , it transitioned to long distance only a few months ago . There is a guy where she lives that she sees often at the gym and i know they text often . Yesterday valentines day she ...
A. 8 April 2013: Forget her, find someone else asap who will treat you with the respect you deserve. Need not waste time over a horrible person like her. Or just talk to some people with good morals, it shouldn't be hard to find people like that. All the best man, ... (read in full...)
What is the right age to get engaged?
Q. I know my question seems a little bland and broad, so let me try to rephrase... How old should a couple be when they get engaged for the first time? I am 18, currently and proudly dating a soon-to-be Marine. He hasn't been home for a few months. ...
A. 18 February 2013: I could look at some couples and say to them, 21 is too young and I can look at you and say, why not tie the knot already. I am very open minded when it comes to these matters because there is no right and wrong answer. I think if you have those ... (read in full...)
Why was I ignored on Valentine's Day?
Q. My girlfriend and I currently having a long distance relationship , it transitioned to long distance only a few months ago . There is a guy where she lives that she sees often at the gym and i know they text often . Yesterday valentines day she ...
A. 17 February 2013: She doesn't love you. Dump her asap and spare yourself from following her like a dog. Nothing you say will change her mind else she would have done so already (in terms of her respect for u). All the best!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is emotionally abusive but I keep crawling back to him!
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 3 years is lately being emotionally abusive towards me, never spends time with me, always blames me for verything. Whenever he get angry and yells at me, says he need to yell cause i was stupid enough not to understand him. ...
A. 15 February 2013: You choose the way you want people to treat you. You need to stop being a victim and start taking control of your life. You seem like a loving and caring person so I don't know why you would put up with all of this.
Good luck to you, I hope you... (read in full...)
Was my Bf out of line for objecting to the discussions I had with my best girlfriend who is newly married?
Q. My best friend got married recently. I had a text chat with her regarding her sexual life and she told me about the things that happened between her and her husband. My boyfriend saw those chats and started fighting with me that how can I talk l...
A. 13 February 2013: Not all guys are like this but some men are very conservative and prefer to not discuss things of that nature amongst others. I can't say that he is wrong or not because it is who he is. At the same time you have not done wrong because this is your ... (read in full...)
I'm not so into him.Am I being cold or mean? I feel bad that he still feels bad about my rejection
Q. I've known this guy since 9th grade, we're 12th grade now In 10th grade i had a crush on him but I noticed he was all over other girls so I stopped And a few months ago he was texting me A LOT and told me he really likes me and wanted to go...
A. 10 February 2013: You do seem cold and mean and what not but there is no wrong I suppose in what you are doing. It is a good thing you aren't leading him on. Giving him chocolate for V-day is not a good idea, it would be leading him on or give him false hopes.
... (read in full...)
I'm so used to girls rejecting me. Never had a Gf. How can I change this situation and get a girl interested in me?
Q. I am a 20 year male and I have never had a girlfriend/had sex. My first question is, is this normal? I feel it is not because I am surrounded by people in relationships, or at least have had their first kiss by now and I just feel this emptines...
A. 10 February 2013: I would like to add to what Code Warrior said.
The less you think about hooking up , the better. You have to start taking control of your life instead of being a bystander. Talk to more girls and befriend a few and find out if you are the prob... (read in full...)
He's married. We're strongly attracted. I even told his wife nothing was 'going on'. I want to have sex with him, should I?
Q. Hi...this is my first time seeking advice through the internet. I'm almost 20 years old. I applied for a job at a restaurant and I got the job and the general manager is 37. During the interview we made deeply eye contact and then once he...
A. 10 February 2013: For starters he will never leave his wife for you and the only one who will suffer in the long run, is you. It "feels" right but those are feelings without any logic or real thought put into it.
Anything he has done "for you" stems from the fact... (read in full...)
Do I settle for what I have with my ex now? He says he's not ready to settle down. What's the best way to deal with this?
Q. I never stopped seeing my ex after we broke up. It has been over a year and we never stopped hanging out and sleeping together, we just eliminated a title. It all gets confusing because for the most part it seems like we are together still but we a...
A. 10 February 2013: How can you think he is the right guy for you when he doesn't share any of your goals nor does he want to be with you? You have a choice to move on or accept nothing. Either way the choice is yours and I don't think there is anything we can do to ... (read in full...)
How do I break it gently to this guy that I'm not ready for a relationship with him? In truth I'm trying to get back with my ex.
Q. Dear cupid, There’s this guy that I’ve been hanging out with and texting for the past couple of weeks; for security purposes, we'll just call him X. I invited two of my friends to a concert next month, and one of the friends, in turn, invited he...
A. 9 February 2013: Just tell him the truth that you are trying to work things out with your ex. If you lie to him, he will eventually find out (since you want to continue being friends. If you hide it from him, everyone will eventually find out and people will begin ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to take me on an actual date without sounding rude?
Q. Hi, 3 days ago I met a man at my friend’s birthday party and we hit it off immediately. :) We talked the whole time, and he asked for my number and we've been texting and calling a lot. The day after we met, he asked me to please come over, it wa...
A. 9 February 2013: Just simply ask him to take you out on a date, or suggest the idea to him. ... (read in full...)
Should I reconnect with my first ex? Despite his threats and the reasons I broke up with him earlier?
Q. so here is my problem i broke up with ex 1 year ago,the reason was that he used to discuss wanting to force me for sex which i never wanted to do, actually it was an online relationship we never met, we were about to meet, but he used to say he w...
A. 9 February 2013: Why should you reconnect with him? I am sure there are many other guys out there more deserving of your time. ... (read in full...)
What should I do? Ever since they've been together, my friend ignores me, and only calls or texts when she needs something. I hate this.
Q. Hi everyone, My best friend and I have been friends for the past 5 years. We've always had a GREAT relationship until recently. We used to talk all the time and she'd always text me a few times a day. We had a ritual every week where we'd ha...
A. 9 February 2013: This is something she needs to realise for herself and you can at least tell her your side of the issues.
Like you said, she has never had a relationship before so it seems like this first relationship is completely absorbing her attentio... (read in full...)
I'm 16. Is it wrong for me to have unprotected sex, already had a miscarriage and want to get pregnant?
Q. ok so heres the deal...me and my bf have been dating for almost a year now...we stated having sex 5 months after we began dating...but we NEVER used condom...we are 2 highschool students and he is to graduate this year...i have suffered a miscarrage ...
A. 4 February 2013: Hmm I think you are rather young to have a child and I mean you aren't even married yet. When it comes to children you have to understand that a lot of things will change. You should also consider some "worst case scenarios" such as what will you do ... (read in full...)
What does it mean if a guy calls you "high maintenance"?
Q. What exactly does it mean by 'high maintenace'.. The guy I'm dating now its been a few weeks and the reason he dint ask me out earlier is because he thought I would be 'high maintenance'..what did that mean:( ?...
A. 1 February 2013: High maintenance girls are seldom happy and often complain, with a demanding-like attitude, resulting in her bf doing more things than usual to make her happy. ... (read in full...)
How can we help our daughter get through college when she's being bullied about being masculine?
Q. Our 18-year-old daughter told us she had something to announce yesterday. We waited to hear, and were surprised by what she said; she admitted she felt like she should have a gender reassignment [her words!] and that people bully her in college ...
A. 30 January 2013: You should help her seek counselling first or an advisor about what she can do to help her self esteem before resorting to such drastic measures. I've seen some issues about this on the Dr. Phil website so maybe you can have a look there. ... (read in full...)
Friend goes MIA when there's a guy on the scene. Do I drop her?
Q. My good friend since highschool has always been the type to go Mia when a guy pays any attention to her. She will ignore me for months until the guy leaves then she wants to be my BFF again. It has come apperent that she values our friend ship less ...
A. 30 January 2013: It's not a matter of giving up on the friendship or not. It is more of a matter of learning to keep your distance when she comes around again. Just keep your distance and you can still keep your friend and even not get hurt in the process. Good ... (read in full...)
Why do people have to make comments that are hurtful?
Q. Dear Cupid, The other night I was talking to this guy that I know fairly well but is still considered an acquaintance. We were texting and he asked "why do you wear so much makeup? Not to say you look bad but i'm sure you're pretty naturally...
A. 30 January 2013: He's just saying that he thinks you look beautiful just the way you are. It's not about changing looks, power, industry standards, morals etc etc etc. You need to relax and calm down and stop over reacting. ... (read in full...)
Am I being a good boyfriend.
Q. As of spring of this year me and my girlfriend will have been dating one year. Throughout this year we have had our fair share of troubles like most young couples and I am interested in knowing if I am doing anything wrong and if I am what I can do ...
A. 24 January 2013: I do not think her actions are appropriate for someone who is supposed to be in a relationship. You must sort this out or just end the relationship before something bad really happens.
While I think you are doing good for yourself I feel like you... (read in full...)
How do I stop caring about women?
Q. Is there a way to shut down emotions? I am a guy who has only ever had one girlfriend, an ex now... and is still a virgin. I feel so much pressure to date many women and have sex to prove I am a man. In my relationship I treated her like a princess...
A. 11 January 2013: Seems like you aren't very good at paying attention because people are giving you the right advice but you are too busy focusing on what you think you need.
People your age tend to think that everything needs to be rushed or that they feel lik... (read in full...)
I need help ASAP! This guy is acting so dumb!
Q. I started talking to this guy a month ago, he is the type that acts like a player but he really doesn't get too many girls. We go to college together in California and after we began talking about 4 days later we had sex, I know that was a no no. ...
A. 11 January 2013: If you are a good looking girl and you are chasing a man then you are doing everything wrong. The one who has to do the chasing is him and you do this by just being yourself and staying pretty. In fact you need to tell him what to do or what not to ... (read in full...)
He met me, we've been friends for 7 months. The same day he had sex with her. Do I confront him? Or what else should I do?
Q. okay this kid and I were talking for about seven months but we werent exclusive! a few days before my birthday we hung out and remind you we barely see each other, but when we do we dont waste a minute, but the last time we hung out we didnt ha...
A. 11 January 2013: Message him for what? Wait it off for what? What is the end goal here? You have to be careful you aren't being manipulated by your own feelings where you feel like you deserve a truth or more from him. He has his own priorities as far as girls go ... (read in full...)
Why does my gf act like an impossible and hysterical child during arguments?
Q. I can't seem to understand my girlfriends actions sometimes. We are from different countries, though I work and live in her country. We have been together for eight months, though she sort of left her previous boyfriend for me, who had cheated ...
A. 8 January 2013: Seek counselling or some other form of professional help. There is a chance she has underlying issues or could be suffering from a hormonal imbalance. ... (read in full...)
He said it was hard to be friends with me.
Q. Hello! I really need someone's advice/words of wisdom. I'll try to keep it short and simple so that it's not a hell to read. I fell in love with a boy. He was so amazing in every way. I told him I wanted to be with him. At first he said he didn't w...
A. 6 January 2013: I think when you decided to act like you didn't care you must have hurt his pride as well.
When it comes to expressing feelings I usually think it is a good idea to get it out right away. You had plans to tell him how you feel but maybe by then ... (read in full...)
Can a drunken kiss ever be a sincere kiss?
Q. So I've known this guy for 15 years, but we've never really talked. Over the years we've seen each other at parties, sometimes drunk and other times not, and we talk at all of the parties. Before Christmas, we talked while I was drunk and he was s...
A. 6 January 2013: He seems interested to me but if you wont really know unless you try and actually make an attempt. I think the biggest eye opener is that he still texted you all and on the new years day itself, which is really admirable so I think you should act ... (read in full...)
He doesn't show me any care or love, he just keeps ignoring me!
Q. dear cupid...my boyfriend has been ignoring me for 3weeks now and anytime i asked him what the problem is he tells me he is ok,and when i asked if he is tired of me,he still says no have have to try to make things work but he doesnt show me anycare ...
A. 6 January 2013: If he can not tell you his problems then there is not much you can do from this point. I do not think chasing him will make any difference as well although these are just my opinions. If he is not ready then so be it, it would be best to just move ... (read in full...)
If I can sleep through my husband's nocturnal fondling could I not also sleep through a home invasion?
Q. I found out one morning my husband was rubbing my butt in the middle of the night to attempt to wake me but I was sound asleep through the whole rubbing ordeal. He told me the next morning but it worries me that if when he's working one night an...
A. 6 January 2013: Sounds like over exaggeration on your husbands part. I've seen this pattern a lot in arguments in the last 3 years where people often use the MOST extreme of circumstances where they make the scenario much worse than it is. I don't really get it but ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend arranged for his 4 year old daughter to live with us without talking to me first
Q. I am a 24 year old dating a wonderful 32 year old man. I've known from the beginning that he has a 4 year old daughter from an ex- girlfriend. We live in Colorado, and the daughter lives with her mother in Florida. My borfriend visits his daughter ...
A. 4 January 2013: Like you said, he isn't much of a father so I am pretty sure he doesn't see the wrong he is doing. He lacks the necessary foresight and experience needed to manage his affairs. While that his is story to sort out, it is essential that you stand to ... (read in full...)
All of his feelings for me came pouring out but I don't feel the same, so he expects us to carry on like normal! What can I do?
Q. So a while ago i posted a question, which asked whether or not a guy and a girl could actually be friends without it being compromised by physical attraction or it ending up in one or the other falling for the other. I asked this based on a ...
A. 2 January 2013: You didn't do anything when he confessed his feelings nor did you give any attention to his special treatments for the last five years so you may as well continue to do nothing. I think for him it was his moment to confess his feelings and all that ... (read in full...)
I know she likes me but thinks I'm too young. What should I do?
Q. I am in love with an independent, insecure, stubborn, easily depressed an older girl. She is older than me by almost 3 years. I am 19, she is 21. I know she likes me, but she is very insecure because I am young, and she says she wants to best ...
A. 2 January 2013: Since she has already declared you as her best friend forever, you have almost no chance of being together with her. The most you can do is try to ignore her sometimes and maybe she will come around.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has trust & insecurity issues and broke up with me for no reason. I'm so hurt and confused ....
Q. Last night my boyfriend broke up wit me via text. He accused me of shopping for some attention. I went out shopping yesterday and he said that I was looking for some attention and I absolutely was not. He said that he can't trust me. He has trus...
A. 23 December 2012: You have to ask yourself if this is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. In regards to these problems it sounds like something he has to learn to deal with therapy. But if it has been this long then why doesn't he try to sort it ... (read in full...)
My LDR girlfriend wants to see other people. I feel that she's playing games and sending mixed messages. Any advice/ thoughts?
Q. Dear cupids, I need some reassurance on my thoughts. Here's my story. I was in a LDR (couple of hours away) for the past 3 years and we began to fall apart last few months. We visited a lot and had the utmost respect for each other. Loved each o...
A. 22 December 2012: I think this is not working and there is no hope in this so called relationship. This girl isn't on the same page as you are nor is she close to being ready.
Statistics aside, I don't really see anything much of a relationship and you really j... (read in full...)
Should I confront my wife or am I being paranoid about her possibly chatting with other men?
Q. We have been married for 5 years. Unfortunately live in seperate locations because of work(different continents !) We are committed to getting back together physically in a few months(move work location). My predicament is this, i believe she ...
A. 22 December 2012: Unless u have some real proof or something your wife is doing wrong then you are just letting your thoughts run away. ... (read in full...)
Is keeping a memory box lame and depressing? My friends comment upset me!
Q. I just wanted to get another opinion on this as my friends comment I thought was rude and didn't make sense... Basically, in my room at university I put in this wristband someone gave me the night before from an epic night out in this box. She as...
A. 20 December 2012: It doesn't matter what she thinks because it is not her box. Tons of people keep items from great events in their life, they just don't label it like you have but even my ex has her own box filled with precious items from her past. There is nothing ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my husband of 12 years for cheating?
Q. Should I leave my husband of 12 yrs? My husband has cheated on me numerous times only 3 times I have proof of. Back in 2005 he had an affair that lasted for 7 months. I never knew anything was wrong it was a huge slap in the face. The reason for it ...
A. 18 December 2012: I feel the same way and it is obvious he doesn't care nor is he willing to change. If I were you I would give up as well because there is no love in the relationship or commitment. To be honest there are no excuses for cheating in my book. I could ... (read in full...)
Huge issue with boyfriend! How can I solve it?
Q. I'm kinda stuck here... I don't really know what to do or say but first point... I don't want to be here bitching about my boyfriend's problems... I will expose his issues and mine as well... We are going through a rough path... I'm 18 and he's 17....
A. 17 December 2012: My advice would be to break up with him and find your new place in life.
Your boyfriend is still immature...this is somewhat expect since he is younger than you, not to mention girls do mature faster than boys. There are many many other reas... (read in full...)
I think my live in boyfriend of 2.5 years has feelings for his co-worker
Q. I think my boyfriend has feelings for a coworker and it's making me feel really insecure. We've lived together for 2.5 years now and talk about getting married. We have an odd relationship because we have very little in common. This coworker is...
A. 17 December 2012: It just sounds like self esteem issues. He says he loves you and wants to be with you and as a guy, I have to give him the benefit of the doubt because he isn't doing anything wrong. He is allowed to have female friends I am sure. If this is someone ... (read in full...)
What can I do about the bad attitude they keep telling me I have?
Q. Dear cupids, its so hard for me to keep a relationship. Before I started dating I hated men because of my father and dating hasn't changed a lot especially when they ask for help like money sometimes. I feel they want to use me because I am from a ...
A. 17 December 2012: You need to see a counsellor, shrink or something because either you have some left over issues which you have never dealt with or you have some sort of hormonal imbalance. ... (read in full...)
The only way he'll let me break up with him is if I tell him the truth!
Q. So im kind of stuck in a pickle. what do you do when you dont want to hurt someones feelings, break them by telling them the truth ? That after 4 years of dating you went away alone for acouple months and in just 3 months felt happier with someone ...
A. 15 December 2012: Even though your bf treated you badly you should have not cheated nor should you lie to the other guy that is waiting. Your actions thus far seem to stem from emotions and it has caused you to lie to your bf, the other guy and most importantly, your ... (read in full...)
Thoughts regarding retrograde jealousy....is a person's past really not any of the current relationship's business?
Q. An observation from a straight guy: I CALL BULLSHIT on people who claim that lovers are not accountable for how their sexual past is non of their current relationship's business. What if you only ever had one girlfriend, and before she met y...
A. 14 December 2012: I agree with CindyCares 100% but I will also state that a person has a right to know about the past of their partner. The past will affect the present and future but it is not something you should use against the person. After all, we can not undo ... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend blows hot and cold about getting back together
Q. So here it goes. Me and my girlfriend of 2 years just broke up on Thanksgiving and it was a pretty rough break up. The thing is this Friday would have been our 2 year anniversary which is going to be a really rough day for me. Heres my question...
A. 13 December 2012: You really want to be with a girl who is this badly confused? Hmm yeah she shows real commitment there :P
At any rate, if you give her space maybe she will figure out what the heck it is she wants. She could indeed stick with that other guy but ... (read in full...)
Out of control PMS, I've tried EVERYTHING, please help me!
Q. I'm at my wits end here and really need some advice. I am a 25 year old woman. I'm generally a happy person who enjoys life. But the week (sometimes 2 weeks) before my period I feel as though I go absolutely INSANE! I'm extremely angry, depr...
A. 13 December 2012: Hormonal imbalance I think is what you have. You should see a doctor or do some research, I think there are a bit of women who go through the same thing. ... (read in full...)
The only way he'll let me break up with him is if I tell him the truth!
Q. So im kind of stuck in a pickle. what do you do when you dont want to hurt someones feelings, break them by telling them the truth ? That after 4 years of dating you went away alone for acouple months and in just 3 months felt happier with someone ...
A. 13 December 2012: Err then just tell him the truth so he can leave you and vice versa?... (read in full...)
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