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... Send *earo a private message | | | *earo's profile:Nothing qualifies me to help people. But I always try to treat people the way I treat my best friends when they need help. It doesn't take much to help someone. Sometimes all they need is an open ear.
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My wife's cushy life is over, but what about the child!
Q. I left home 4 months ago after finding out my wife was cheating with some unemployed junkie we hired to do yard work. I busted my butt making a living so she can stay home even thouhgh our daughter is in school now. Instead of sorry she tried to ...
A. 21 March 2015: Get your daughter out of there but be sure to consult your attorney first so you can avoid any problems. ... (read in full...)
My best friend stopped all contact with me because his girlfriend asked him to?
Q. Hello Everybody! My problem is: I have been friends with a guy for more than 10 years. We attended the same high school, and the same university for BA and also for the MA studies. We never tough about being more than friends, though we kissed...
A. 20 March 2015: I do understand how you feel but you should have seen this coming. You can't possibly expect his girl friend to automatically trust your friendship and he should not be doing things that may cause trust issues. Like everyone else, outsiders will ... (read in full...)
My wife is my sole sexual partner to date. would having sex with friends be a good or bad idea?
Q. I'm writing for the first time on DearCupid and my name pretty much speaks for itself. Now I'm not the curious as in the same sex, but the curious type that wonders what it is like to be with another woman. Since I was 17 I have been with only t...
A. 17 March 2015: You have some very good advice and I could not be any more specific than janniepeg even if I tried. Welcome to the world of adulthood where high risk can either have high reward, or high loss. The advice is to think about the outcome of these ... (read in full...)
How did I become the family villian?
Q. A question: If a kid gets punished for something they did not do, is it child abuse even if not excessive just because the kid was innocent and the parent did not believe them? I have not been on speaking terms with my mom for years for this reason. ...
A. 17 March 2015: I do not think there is much to go on, but I come from a very hard headed "family" that made very selfish choices in their life. My only choice was to forget them and realize that there was no pleasing my family. I live my own life and have ... (read in full...)
He now lasts an hour and a half and I can't help him that long! Is this normal?
Q. I wondering if this was normal or not. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 months now. Before that he was single for 7 months. When we first started dating we fooled around every night for about a month and a half. At the beginning he woul...
A. 17 March 2015: Ask him if he watches porn and then get back to us. ... (read in full...)
It was not my kid but I lost my girlfriend over it anyway. I'd like to get her back but am worried she'll take me to court!
Q. I cheated on my girlfriend with this skank from work that everybody slept with. She knew I had a girlfriend I loved and it was just sex. She wanted me to be with her but that would never happen. She told me she was pregnant and my world ended. My ...
A. 17 March 2015: While you may have not done the right thing, you should have respect for others before thinking you deserve respect or even a second chance. Calling a woman a skank is not decent on your part, and the more you choose to call the woman this, only ... (read in full...)
Why do girls always look at me weirdly?
Q. I'll start by saying whenever I'm at school all I do is sit by myself and listen to music the whole school day. People constantly tell me I look depressed including my sister who is two years younger than me. I am pretty depressed if you ask me, and ...
A. 15 March 2015: I understand your situation but it does not seem like you are making an effort to change. Close friendships do not happen by sitting around and listening to music all day. Girls do not approach you because you don't show interest in others. Sitting ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want me to come to his sister's sweet 16 party
Q. My boyfriend doesn't want me to come to his sisters sweet sixteen with him. We've been together for 2 years and out of town numerous times. I've met his family and stuff but this would be the first big gathering and he has been super reluctant ...
A. 13 March 2015: I think it is up to his sister so he should ask his sister this question. He might also not be ready to introduce you to the rest of this family, which can be a stressful ordeal in itself. Not entirely sure how close you are with his family in any ... (read in full...)
Rejected after first date?!
Q. So I joined eharmony. I was talking back and forth with this guy and we seemed really compatible, he even said so. He asked me out to a coffee date and I said yes, which was yesterday. I was really exited because he seemed attractive and we had so ...
A. 13 March 2015: I suppose some women are not used to being rejected but he didn't like you, plain and simple. Just move on and keep at it, this is how dating usually works. I am sure he was being upfront and blunt so don't waste your time questioning yourself.
... (read in full...)
Unique bond with a complicated situation..HELP
Q. I had a boyfriend who went away, he's been 17 months. Our relationship ended badly and we have not had any communication for the past 5 months. While we were together we spent a lot of time with his family, and mostly his cousin. The three of us ...
A. 13 March 2015: At the end of the day there are some issues here not being dealt with. Firstly, while the flirting is there, no words are actually being spoken. Neither of you are actually saying how either of you feel, want or don't want and it's left a great deal ... (read in full...)
He's bad for me but I have a hard time letting him go
Q. Recently I met this guy who I thought was the greatest thing that happened to me. He always knows the right words to say and I fell for him. Now im realizing how crappy he has been treating me. He calls me every night but always hangs up on me wh...
A. 10 March 2015: You couldn't have described a bad addiction any better. It will be easier to move on when you learn to fill the time you would have used to call him. If he calls you, then ignore his calls. If you want to call him, simply don't and call someone ... (read in full...)
My religion allows polygamy but my society considers it taboo in my situation! What should I do?
Q. I am in love with a man..He loves me too . Problem is he is already married . Its been 1 and half years since his marriage and he is having a cute daughter of nearly 6 months. In our religion polygamy is allowed. He wants to marry me but problem is ...
A. 9 March 2015: Underneath everything, I feel like you can do a lot better for yourself. I do not see love because I have not read any sentences that describe love, but you say he loves you. How does he love you? He loves you so much that you must hide from your ... (read in full...)
5 years of dating, she cheats on me, now how do I move on?
Q. Today was a very difficult day for me. It was the first day after my ex and I broke up. She cheated on me and for some reason I was able to forgive her. I don't know if I truly do forgive her or if it was just a desperate plea so that I wouldn't be ...
A. 8 March 2015: The things you are doing now are the things you should not be doing. Do not sit around and punish yourself. Get out and do things with your friends. Again, do not punish yourself while going out. You do not have to get wasted and you do not have to ... (read in full...)
Good girl meets bad boy.... do I cut my losses or suggest counseing?
Q. This is your typical good girl meets bad boy story...I have been with my partner for 3.5years and we live together. A year into the relationship, we were living together at this point, he found out I was seeing someone when we first started dating. ...
A. 8 March 2015: He has a lot of unresolved issues so when is he going to resolve them? He is 38 and can't resolve his issue now, when is he going to resolve them?
I get that people in general have a lot of baggage, issues, problems and all these things but we a... (read in full...)
Why does my Bf deliberately set out to upset me? Everythings has to be on his terms
Q. My boyfriend tends to upset me on purpose. What I notice about him is he would sometimes do what he knows i dislike, or sometimes refuses to do things that I ask of him and these are really small things. I just dont seem to understand how he alway...
A. 7 March 2015: You are on a great over assumption of things because you simply don't understand how men think. Firstly, I will say that he is not out to intentionally get you angry. Secondly, he simply forgets the things you tell him because it is not on his mind. ... (read in full...)
Why does he try to pull me back in just when I'm finally ready to leave or move on?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for over a year. The relationship has been rough because of his lies. Nevertheless, I stuck around because I have feelings for him.This man does have other women in his life. I decided not to be "active" with him, but ...
A. 6 March 2015: What difference does it make if he wants to come back or leave? You should make your choice to leave based on your experiences and how you feel, not his.
You didn't understand his lies and double standards before so it should be no surprise... (read in full...)
I'm fine with being friends, but he is sending mixed signals!
Q. I have had this guy friend for about 4 months. We are just good friends that hangout and have a good time together, and great friends that we have classes together at school (college). I had begin to develops feelings for him because we were ...
A. 1 March 2015: I think he is accustomed treating you this way and if he says he just wants to be friends then I honestly think that there isn't more to read. Perhaps the spark isn't there for him or he is just one of those different persons who doesn't always have ... (read in full...)
Why does my bf try to make me feel jealous? He implies that I can't do any better
Q. I've been with my bf for almost 5 years. Things have been so rocky the last month we're hardly communicating. Last night we talked for almost 3 hours, over facebook, about our issues and how we can't seem to make it work. As the conversation wen...
A. 1 March 2015: These are not conversations. They seem more like childish banter. I am unsure why he teases so much and boast his ego but I can only assume that these arguments are only going in circles. You are lashing out about his ex gfs and other issues and he ... (read in full...)
We broke up after 3 years and I feel broken as a result. Where do I go? please suggest what I can do?
Q. I hurt so much, I want to hide inside the dark from reality; I dislike the new day since my girl left. I gave her every thing she wanted, maybe I was buying her love. I bought her what she wanted because I loved her and wanted her to be happy....
A. 1 March 2015: When you open your eyes again from your dreams I hope you realized that she was no good for you and perhaps neither of you had much in common. Was she really meant for you? I don't think so. Why punish yourself for something that is not your fault? ... (read in full...)
My wife misled me with her sexual past
Q. We got married 16 years ago and i had to ask her parents for permission to marry her since we were both brought up the old fashioned way, so at that time we got to know each other for about a year before we got married. before I met her I had two ...
A. 1 March 2015: I believe that the OP is upset about the deceit. I do not believe that this is a race issue or one about insecurities. It was a relationship he believed what built on trust and honesty. People are brought up with different values around different ... (read in full...)
She is seeing someone else, should I continue with her or not bother?
Q. I met this incredible girl we share a lot of the same interests. From the beginning she stared she is seeing someone else, we spent Valentine's Day together and then spent the following Saturday cuddling and watching movies. Then broke contact for a ...
A. 1 March 2015: Her words seem like an easy exit from anything needed on her end to pursue any relationship with you. Also, I am completely baffled by the idea that she said she is afraid of commitment when she is already committed to someone else. Spending a ... (read in full...)
I am worried my friend wants to be with me, because I don't want a relationship! Help?
Q. There is a guy that I like but not enough to try to go anywhere other than hanging out at his house every once in a while. I think he thinks I want a relationship but I want to get the point across that I don't want to be a date. I like his company ...
A. 25 February 2015: If you do value the person it wont hurt to be straight forward. If you aren't clear about what you want then your actions tell a different story and someone in his position will only feel used (assuming he wants to date). ... (read in full...)
Unavailable and attached....so why do I attract and seem to be drawn to such men? How can I break this cycle?
Q. I need help trying to explain why I only seem to attract, or focus on unavailable men. I am young, and I am seeing an older man, who is married with children. I was seeing a married man, yes this is unethical, and goes beyond values that I though...
A. 21 February 2015: I have had friends who were in similar situations. I do not think it is a complex issue but I do believe the answers a 3rd party gives is not as powerful as the answers you give yourself.
Firstly, the relationship with a married man: somewher... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of my bad reputation in a small town? My new Gf's father said I should not be dating his daughter
Q. I'm 21 and I just started dating an amazing girl. Unfortunately I did a lot of stupid stuff in my past to make fathers not want me near their innocent daughters. She is 18, a senior in high school and lives at home. Her father liked me the fir...
A. 21 February 2015: Just like it takes time to build a bad reputation, it takes time to build a good one. Just work at it and show your genuine side as much as you could to the world. ... (read in full...)
I want to move out but can't afford it! Ideas?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm 21 years old and I live with my father and brother. The thing is, I really want to move out and be on my own but I just can't afford it. Let me explain my situation. My father is retired. I love him to death but he stays at home...
A. 19 February 2015: Anything worth achieving in life is done with hard work and dedication. Some luck is involved but it only kicks in when you are putting your best foot forward. If you want to move out you have to be making the money to do so without having to depend ... (read in full...)
Does anyone in a long term relationship still feel in love/the "spark" with their SO?
Q. I'm curious as to whether or not there are long term couples out there who still feel in love after a long time. I've always been dumped/cheated on once the infatuation period wore off so I'm always paranoid about it. My current relationship is ...
A. 17 February 2015: I think as you grow older and also as relationships matures the experiences changes and even your own definitions of love changes. You may have always been dumped but I'm sure you are young still...relationships don't always work out and when one ... (read in full...)
Do women really regret their sexual past?
Q. This question goes out to the ladies and girls out there. Do you regret your sexual past especially when you've only dated losers then finally one day meet the man of your dreams and you wished he was your first or that you had met him in the past?...
A. 14 February 2015: Both men and women regrets things in their past but likewise, many don't as well. ... (read in full...)
In love with a very famous professional athlete
Q. I had a chance encounter with a world famous professional athlete last summer on social media. I began tweeting him cute silly things figuring he'd never notice me because he gets virtually thousands of tweets everyday, especially from women. Thin...
A. 14 February 2015: If this is all you do, indulging in fantasies, then do something else. It goes without saying that what you are doing is obsessive and not healthy for you or anyone around you.
Life isn't always having a bad choice and a good choice. Sometime... (read in full...)
How do guys really feel about stretch marks?
Q. I've been reading on this website for the past couple of months and I've noticed a lot of posts concerning stretch marks lately. It's got me thinking a lot. I've always been pretty confident with my body but I do have tons of stretch marks. I...
A. 14 February 2015: A lot of guys care, a lot of guys don't care.
I personally don't care. Pretty sure (189%) that he is not thinking about your stretch marks during sex. ... (read in full...)
Our lack of communication is undermining our relationship
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for more than a year now. I love him yet I constantly find myself questioning if he loves me as much as I do towards him. We have gone through so many fights and a couple of breakups within the course of our ...
A. 11 February 2015: You have to be patient and let him come around on his own terms. No one likes feeling pressured and the more you try to force the situation, it only disguises the problem. Patience is not simply waiting, but the attitude you have while doing so.
... (read in full...)
I like him a lot but he never initiates contact
Q. I met a guy through mutual friends a month ago. The first time we met, I felt an instant attraction towards him and I felt that he was attracted to me too. A week later, I found out through a mutual friend that he is in a relationship wit...
A. 10 February 2015: Given that he is already in a relationship, he does not have the freedom of just engaging with another person. Any responses from people like this can be instant or months apart.
While you could be right about his attention, you could be wrong as... (read in full...)
Six year age difference, different religions, oh and I have children and don't really want more.. I want some insight from men here!
Q. I am a 35 year old woman with 2 younger children. I met a man who is 29. He has never been married and has no children. I think he is interested in taking it a step further and wants children. He also says that he loves kids (maybe insinuating he ...
A. 9 February 2015: These are things which I think can sort itself out over time and it only sounds like the beginnings of a relationship. In your quest for finding a suitable partner it is only fair for you to have an open mind as I am sure you expect the same. If you ... (read in full...)
What should I make of this work conflict?
Q. I will try and keep this short and sweet :) I am currently working in an office environment, and I have been placed on a team which deals with complaints. The team I liase with tend to talk amongst themselves, they are a close knit clique of mainl...
A. 9 February 2015: Survival of the fittest dear, groups stick together. You have a better chance if you try to blend into the group. If you can't fit into a group, the group sees you as an outsider and wont trust you, and who can blame them? This is part of working in ... (read in full...)
Our lack of communication is undermining our relationship
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for more than a year now. I love him yet I constantly find myself questioning if he loves me as much as I do towards him. We have gone through so many fights and a couple of breakups within the course of our ...
A. 9 February 2015: Men and women have very different ways of dealing with stress. Women love to talk, and men like to withdraw with silence. Since you are looking online for help, you can youtube search "how men's and women's brains work" and this might enlighten you. ... (read in full...)
Should I be trying to experience more?
Q. Sometimes I feel alone even though I have people around me. I come from a good family, but sometimes I wonder if its too good. I never go out to parties to get drunk, do drugs, or sleep with different girls. It's not like I haven't thought about it ...
A. 7 February 2015: There are lots of things you can do in life that does not have to be illegal or over the top. You don't have to over drink to have a good time and you don't need to hurt people around you to experience life. It only seems like you need to do what ... (read in full...)
Do you think I was rude and attacking? And what should I do
Q. My boyfriend is super upset at me right now, and I think he is overreacting. Last week he was helping me update my macbook, as he knows more about technology than I do, and helping me make things faster. He kept wanting to download mack...
A. 6 February 2015: As an IT person, if you told me you don't want something on your system based on a "feeling", it's not the most convincing thing in the world. It's not like you had a good reason before he installed it. I'm pretty sure anyone would have listened to ... (read in full...)
Got drunk and think I messed it up with a nice guy I just met
Q. Hello and thanks in advance for your help :) So I was introduced to a guy through a mutual friend. We met for the first time 2 night ago. I wasn't sure if he was really interested or if he was doing it for our mutual friend you know? We hung...
A. 2 February 2015: Don't you think it is a bit early to consider if this has been one sided? It would definitely be one sided on your part because you over did it. Alcohol has a way of bringing out really one sided actions :)
Perhaps you scared him off or not, but... (read in full...)
Drawing boundaries with in a FWB relationship... How do I tell him I don't want to hear about her?
Q. I've got a pretty typical but still vexing problem... how do you deal with jealousy and boundaries when in a friends-with-benefits situation? I've been hanging out with the same guy, about two and a half months now. When we first started h...
A. 2 February 2015: Nothing good will ever come out of this FWB else it would happened already. I think you hope it will be something more than FWB because you choose to be on his good side by not being upfront about your jealousy. But let's be real, if you were dating ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't have sex because she's so embarrassed of her body!
Q. My girlfriend was around 400 pounds at one point. When her and I got together she was about 200 pounds and still is. I love her a whole lot and have been together for almost 3 years. She has discussed with me how much she wants to make love with me ...
A. 1 February 2015: I think the best thing to do is talk to her about it and see where you both can work together to over coming this. After 3 years I would think this relationship needs to go somewhere and health issues are a strong aspect to long lasting relationship ... (read in full...)
Do all romatic relationships end in breakup eventually? If we lived long enough could we tolerate our partner for eighty years? What happens over time that causes the breakup? Is it inevitable?
Q. After two long-term relationship failed, im beginning to wonder am I at all the cause. Im lesbian for starters, and I connect really well with females. Obviously somewhere I lost connection. My first relationship was 3 years... it ended bc my ex ...
A. 30 January 2015: A wise lady once told me that if you want a long lasting relationship there are some lovely qualities to have, but the most important quality is "forgiveness". We are only human and we all make mistakes. There is no such thing as the perfect ... (read in full...)
All the signs are there to say he is cheating!
Q. My boyfriend is the kinda guy that is usually so nice and understanding and not the typical asshole, even when we're super bad and he knows im upset he tries to make everything better. Takes his blame and even some of mine.. and just complete ...
A. 30 January 2015: While it could be cheating, making this assumption is a bad call and no one should use this as an answer to problems. You have to look at the things that revolve around coming to a conclusion and ultimately deciding if the relationship is worth it ... (read in full...)
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