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*earo

Trinidad and Tobago  (Male   XML/RSS

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Nothing qualifies me to help people. But I always try to treat people the way I treat my best friends when they need help. It doesn't take much to help someone. Sometimes all they need is an open ear.

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I accidentally sent his ex a friend request and she accepted. I don't want to be friends

Q.   Here's my issue, I have been in a relationship for 6yrs, rocky sometimes, I found out he has been having chats with his ex, the problem now is I was on face book and came across her page I was curious to find out what she looked like but apparently ...

A.   12 November 2016: Get off social media if you can not control your clicks. Try to focus on the relationship instead of digging around in other people's fake business. ... (read in full...)

How do I stay optimistic?

Q.   It is coming up on two years since my heart was broken. In that time, I've gone on... Maybe 30 dates? I am actively using dating sites, trying to meet people in person, trying to improve myself... In short, I think I'm doing everything right...

A.   3 November 2016: There is nothing wrong in what you are doing. Why does being single have to be a bad thing? You are dating and not meeting the right person, which makes sense for being single. You obviously do not want to settle for someone who is wrong for you. ... (read in full...)

Can't decide over career or homemaker

Q.   So my boyfriend, successful with his own business thinks being a career oriented woman with goals is good, (adulting) and I think being a stay at home dog mom is good, where is the happy middle? :/ we are so different in this respect but we love ...

A.   1 November 2016: If something were to happen to your spouse, hopefully there was some sort of plan in place. ... (read in full...)

I don't want to have anything to do with my family ... ever again!

Q.   I want to go far away from my family without telling them where I am going and never ever wanting any contact with them again. I don't know if anyone here knows how it feels to be manipulated by family members till you become a dry well then th...

A.   31 October 2016: I do believe they are in the wrong in the way they choose to treat you. They would not mind to lose you as I believe people like that are very shallow. I understand that you are very upset, but you chose to lend them money even when you were given ... (read in full...)

My mother is draining the life out of me

Q.   I can not handle my mother anymore. I don't know what to do. I don't even know where to start to explain the situation. I'll start with what happened most recently. I was supposed to come down this weekend to help her pack and clean her apartm...

A.   29 October 2016: You can not force someone to care about you, even your own parents. You can only do your best to make sure your time is well spent with the ones that do care. Eventually, you will because a catalyst to her bad behavior as she continues to walk over ... (read in full...)

Guy wants me to swing with him

Q.   Me and this guy have been, not dating, but exclusive FWB. He been wanting a threesome. I ask what his other fantasy is. Sex in public. Lesser of two evils, I agreed to try. So he's been dragging me to sex shops. 6 months into the "relationship", he ...

A.   28 October 2016: If he has sex with you as FWB, there is no relationship to speak of and he will not want one because he is already getting what he wants. ... (read in full...)

Am I being unfair, insensitive or inconsiderate of my MIL?

Q.   I’m at my wits end with my MIL... if it wasn’t bad enough when my partner raced down 107kms to take his mother to the hairdressers when no-one else was available for free, this next exploit beats all. Earlier this year my MIL made flight ...

A.   13 October 2016: I can see how she is not the most convenient person in the world but at the end of the day, she is a mother first and your mother in law second. I do not know this lady, but she did raise her son. And her son I think has a good heart if he goes ... (read in full...)

Should I not bother meeting him?

Q.   I met a man on Facebook and we're meeting up this week.The problem is he is French and lives in Quebec. He speaks broken English from what I've gathered through text messages. English and French isn't my first launguage either but I live in Canada ...

A.   13 October 2016: If he can't find the time to talk to you on the phone, I am not sure what is the point in meeting him. You will do everything and he will do nothing?... (read in full...)

If I see him again, should I go up to him and start a conversation ?

Q.   A couple of weeks ago, I was leaving school to go to work. I had to use the washroom so I pulled into a plaza behind my school. Turns out I parked in a private property parking spot so when I came back to my car, I seen a parking patrol officer ...

A.   10 October 2016: I think it might be weird but what do you have to lose? Ask him if he would like to meet for coffee sometime. If he says no then whatever. If he says yes then you can learn something more about him at least. ... (read in full...)

How can I gather the pieces from an abusive past?

Q.   How can I grow to love myself? I'm a 31 year old woman that on the outiside seems to have the artificial stuff- good jobs- looks - family- love but inside I'm hurting. I would say sadly the only thing I am missing is the guy. I've been with o...

A.   10 October 2016: In the past I was mean to a very nice lady. I said many things I didn't mean. She was nice to me, but I never felt like she was truly genuine. We never communicated properly and I was angered by her 'wanting' to keep the peace. Obviously it did not ... (read in full...)

How do you end a FWB relationship with someone that you don't want to hurt?

Q.   I need help telling my long friend with benefits that I don't want the benefits. Backstory, we've been friends for 10 years, we dated for 3, I broke up with them last year but we remained roommates and it transformed into FWB. I have had my bout...

A.   10 October 2016: You can just tell him that you do not want to have sex. What is wrong with saying that? You have the right to say no just like anyone else. If you say no and is not understanding of you, is he really a friend? No matter the addiction, you have... (read in full...)

Should I break up with him ? He is emotionally unavailable to me.

Q.   I have been dating my boyfriend from last two years.He was my first serious relationship. His ex cheated on him...after 1.5 year of that cheating episode..we started dating.I never had any honeymoon phase with him. He was very aloof..he was le...

A.   7 October 2016: End this relationship and move on. You have the right to leave if your needs are not being fulfilled. He is completely being comfortable this way because you have allowed it to be like this, by not saying what you really needed from him. You deserve ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend fails on work related questions

Q.   Please help me understand his thoughts. I can't seem to be able to talk to my boyfriend about work related things. I'm senior management and when talking to my boyfriend about taking on new tasks or training/motivating my team, his one and only res...

A.   27 September 2016: Some people keep work as work there money you earn should equate to the effort one puts in. I don't think something is wrong with that thinking, it is just his perspective and perhaps his own wish for you. Your perspective is also good, and there ... (read in full...)

I wonder if my boyfriend is cheating, how do I know for sure?

Q.   I would like to know whether or not my boyfriend is cheating. Of course you can never really know but understanding the signs my boyfriend is presenting would be great, if any at all. I have been dating this guy for roughly 2 months and a bit...

A.   25 September 2016: Unless you have something solid, there is no way to tell he is cheating. You know where he is and what he is doing. You are an anxious person and you over think thing, I think anyone and even your friends might get annoyed because you are ... (read in full...)

He's married and much older.... and I've a serious crush on him. what advice can you suggest for me?

Q.   Hi. So i'm sure this has been discussed countless times, but i still feel the need to get my situation out there and hear your opinions on it... So i have this guy in my life, he's my trainer of sorts, and i see him a couple times a week. He's way...

A.   19 September 2016: Unfortunately, I think this is all summed up to a crush. You do not know this person and this person is already committed to someone else. Truth be told you don't know anything about the guy, all you hear is what you tell yourself. You have a right ... (read in full...)

Feel our sex is flat

Q.   I'm with my girlfriend for 2 months now but i find sex ordinary. I have heard many guys expressing how "the sex is amazing", but i don't get that i just find it pretty ordinary What makes sex "mind blowing" for both males and females generall...

A.   15 September 2016: Talk to your girl friend about it. ... (read in full...)

I need advice please? Because whenever I see them together it lowers my confidence in me.

Q.   Basically this feeling of jealousy about my friend's beautiful girlfriend is making me feel down. Me and my friend have known each other since a year.This year in march a new girl joined our school and she was remarkably beautiful. Almost everyon...

A.   15 September 2016: Ask yourself why you should feel bad? You should feel happy for your friend. You should feel happy for the girl. You want to feel bad because you think you were not good enough. To be in mutual relationship only means that someone who is meant for ... (read in full...)

How do I cope with all the guilt?

Q.   Please don't judge me! Two years ago I got hired as a live in nanny for a family that I met at a gym. About 9 months after I started working there the father kissed me. There had been some flirting hit I didn't think anything of it until he kissed m...

A.   15 September 2016: Unfortunately in small towns, that is something that can stick with you forever. I think the best advice would be to find some therapy. Also it may help in talking to other people online who have been in similar situations. I do not think it would ... (read in full...)

Will I ever find love? I've tried everything and nothing works!

Q.   I have been chasing guys for the last five years and I've come to a point in my life that I feel like I can't even go on a date anymore- I've tried online and that didn't work- I've tried going out a lot - that didn't work to meet men with my just ...

A.   25 August 2016: You should just try "not dating" for a while. A lot of women who believe that they are on a timer, and life is passing them by are often taken advantage of. Women like you put an aura of desperation around themselves and guys don't read that as wife ... (read in full...)

Being introvert is hampering my love life

Q.   Hello all, I need your help with a crisis I'm going through. I am an extremely reserved person and tend to be myself most of the time. I like it this way. It's always been like this since I was a kid. However, as an adult there are situations w...

A.   15 August 2016: I feel a big part of my introvert nature stems from the way I communicate. An introvert is not some one who is anti-social but someone who simply becomes tired or drained from socializing. It is important to know those slight differences because it ... (read in full...)

Should I be offended by these comments?

Q.   So recently I got a job offer in another city about five hours away from where me and my partner are both living together. Anyway so received feedback and I never got the job because I wasn't enthusiastic enough. Before my interview my boyfriend...

A.   12 August 2016: He is being realistic. You are apply for a job. This isn't an acting career. Shake it off and try to learn from this because he isn't lying. He's is going to save you a lot of time. Put on your big girl pants. ... (read in full...)

Why do some exes reach out after some time has passed only to go cold again?

Q.   I was with my ex on and off for few years and we live 4 hours apart.We finally broke it off for good when he met someone else closer.However, he started to reach out to more than year later.He left several messages on fb , telling me that he misses ...

A.   6 August 2016: The long distance is a factor and does not help the situation. Pick your battles, this does not have to be one. ... (read in full...)

Could we have a future?

Q.   We met on Face book back in 2011 and met in person a moth later.We had strong connection but the distance eventually took it's toll and he broke it off since neither of us were in a position to move. After time part we would reconnect and...

A.   5 August 2016: Unless you are both on the same page, this is not worth it. I understand that people are unique in their own right and having a connection is important, but you need to consider the other things as well such as communication on Long Distance ... (read in full...)

I want both men but can't have them both!

Q.   I have been married for 3 years, but the past year and a half, my husband completely neglected me and took me for granted. I tried my best to save our relationship by trying to go out more with him, talking to him, looking sexy for him, finding out ...

A.   29 July 2016: Ask both men about your situation, and let them figure out what to do. ... (read in full...)

I feel we have a blessed life. Yet due to his responses I ask, am I married to a narcissist?

Q.   I am wondering if I am married to a narcissist? I have been with my husband for ten years and I have never cried so much in my life than I have in these ten years. When someone says you are lucky to have the wife you have or your wife is bea...

A.   25 July 2016: Like you said, marriage isn't something that can be perfect so it would be best to have marriage counselling. After all, we can't ask about his view point, which is already dangerous when you want to give advice to help someone. It definitely be in ... (read in full...)

How can I stop these obsessive thoughts about men 24/7

Q.   I'm a 30 year old woman that has on the outside everything going for her 1.hearh 2. A family especially a love sister and a sown what great materialistic things such as looks- money- and a great job. Even though my life seems structured and great ...

A.   23 July 2016: I've noticed similar situations in others. People like you tend to indeed be pushovers because the only challenge is really converting broken people to be potential partners. The difference is that the broken people don't really see the relationship ... (read in full...)

He avoids eye contact, it makes me angry!

Q.   brief backstory was seeing a guy, became a push and pull relationship, i got sick of it and ended it. went no contact for about 6 weeks until he called to check in on me, saw him in person after that and he shook my hand and wouldn't make ey...

A.   23 July 2016: He said he is not over it. Which means there are mixed feelings involved. Some people are unable to make up their minds about situations. Either way, he is having difficulty adjusting and if you are his friend, you should be able to see that as ... (read in full...)

How do I overcome the tremendous sense of guilt I feel towards my ex husband?

Q.   I realize i was only infatuated with my ex husband. I never loved him. Being a college grad and coming out of my parental reclusiveness, i released myself to passionate moments. I knew i did wrong because my mother always imposed the rule of ...

A.   19 July 2016: Some things can not be undone and you have to learn to live with it. You would have to very well live with it for the rest of your life. I too, feel very sorry for your son because things could have been better, if only he was put first. But sooner ... (read in full...)

Ex girlfriend agreed to meet next month. Now what?

Q.   My ex and I dated for 2.5 years, where in the process I let myself go mentally to places I never should have, and I refused to seek help for my emotional issues until recently. I ended up breaking her heart by lying to her, throwing her und...

A.   19 July 2016: You aren't in a position to accept any one as part of your life because you do not have much to offer. Most likely the only reason you want her back is because you can not stand the thought of her being with someone else. You feel like "wow this ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend would rather talk with his mother and not me about issues?

Q.   I am falling out of love because every time, my boyfriend and I have a problem, he tells his mom and she never gives great advice. She tells him to dump me but he is my first boyfriend. I don't understand. I thought she liked me but I guess not. We ...

A.   18 July 2016: You should not come between your boyfriend and his mother nor should you grow to dislike her. Instead you should focus on the issues you have with him and continue to enjoy your freedom. Now is not the time to think about marriage, you both are no ... (read in full...)

Do I give up or do I try harder?

Q.   Hello, Well my story starts here be been with my boyfriend now for 5 years and living together for 4. We always fight and I've changed so much for him and he's changed too. But the fight are constant sometimes about meager things. He says he's tir...

A.   18 July 2016: You both have indeed come a long way but you both are not remotely close ready for marriage. You both might seem hellbent on getting your own way, where communication does not matter anymore. It is obvious that you both are not happy, and have lost ... (read in full...)

I'm tired of being the only single one in my group

Q.   I'm 23, about to be 24 and have had a tricky time navigating adult life. I've joined many new groups, gotten involved in church, have a good job and my own place. I have a good group of friends, but I'm the only single one. I've explored some dating ...

A.   16 July 2016: If you want a friend who stays single, then you may as well learn to be happy being single. ... (read in full...)

Should I leave everything and everyone I know for love?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for around 2 and a half years. We go to college together, and graduate in May. He is from California; I am from NYC. I love NYC and he loves California, and we love each other very much -- we want to stay tog...

A.   14 July 2016: You two are both still young and should get to know each other more before you make such decisions. The "honeymoon" phase of college is great, but how will you both be when the real world hits like a tonne of bricks? When the time comes, and you are ... (read in full...)

How can I make his family see how possesive they are?

Q.   Hi Cupid, My boyfriend and i have been together for almost two years now and we have a great relationship we have had our ups and downs but we always work through them and we are confident we will be spending our lives together however we have ...

A.   14 July 2016: I will answer your question very bluntly. There is nothing you can do about his parents to make this situation better. And here are the reasons. It is his family, not yours. It is not your place to resolve any issues in their family. Every fa... (read in full...)

It worries me he hangs out with students

Q.   Hello all, I met a guy several months ago. We started seeing each other because we liked each other's personalities, despite the fact that we are both busy and it is often difficult to see one another. We have a good relationship besides a fe...

A.   12 July 2016: You can not come into someone's life and boss into who you think he should or should not be friends with. It sounds like part of his career revolves around a younger crowd so it can't be helped. And if he loves what he is doing and such, why the ... (read in full...)

I feel he doesn't put enough into this relationship

Q.   Please don't judge, I have never had a LDR. That being said I have had a crappy relationship and I know how I want to be treated. I made the decision just recently to be exclusive w/a guy I had known for a month, who had to move out of state. I ...

A.   12 July 2016: I suppose with many young people, their relationships revolve around texting and count the time between each text. In reality not every is built for LDR and you can not fault someone for that. You are waiting on a response for 6+hrs but on a flip ... (read in full...)

Warned that he was a bad boy but I still stay

Q.   Okay so, I met a guy through a dating app,he looked cute to me, and we started off really well. Turns out,he is an acquaintance of a really close friend of mine,and she instantly warned me of his bad boy ways,it wasn't really difficult to believe ...

A.   8 July 2016: No one said it will be easy, but the only way to progress is to move forward. We have all been there so you are not alone. Think on the things you DO know on this situation and believe in yourself. Don't forget who you are and who you chose to be in ... (read in full...)

Warned that he was a bad boy but I still stay

Q.   Okay so, I met a guy through a dating app,he looked cute to me, and we started off really well. Turns out,he is an acquaintance of a really close friend of mine,and she instantly warned me of his bad boy ways,it wasn't really difficult to believe ...

A.   7 July 2016: You think he will change for you...but this will never happen. A person who does not commit to you but gets what he wants out of you, will never ask for more. ... (read in full...)

Why am I attracting these type of girlfriends? What are the warning signs? How to avoid them? How to communicate?

Q.   What is it with me and helicopter girlfriends? Why do I seem to attract them most? Why can't I let them go gently without it always ending with me making a new enemy and coming off as a douche at the end? Whenever I meet/date a girl who giv...

A.   7 July 2016: It is really not that difficult to find out what a girl is about in her life in the first 1 or 2 days of talking to her. You should be trying to date a lady who is also active in her life. There are many ladies like this but they don't have the time ... (read in full...)

I'm just confused? Is he either low key in love with me or obsessed or just crazy? What to do?

Q.   I don't want to make this too long. Basically, I dated this dude, it was long distance. Blah blah. Let's call him “C” . C” and I dated from like, November 2014 till March 2015. We were basically the perfect couple and I couldn't go a minute, let...

A.   4 July 2016: This all revolves around what you want out of life and your own future. In your past and current actions, you have allowed yourself to be a doormat for your ex. As you wait on someone that will never come around, life will pass you by. In 50 ye... (read in full...)

How can I stop being used by men?

Q.   Ever since I turned 21 - now I am turning 30 I have always gone above and beyond for men. I would characterize myself as a young successful woman - I hold a good corporate job and two degrees and really Kee up with my appearance. Inside though I am ...

A.   21 June 2016: I don't think anyone wants to go into a lifelong relationship based on kissing ass but I think I get the general idea that you did what you thought was right. You've only had one real relationship and the first one not counting so much because it ... (read in full...)

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