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... Send *earo a private message | | | *earo's profile:Nothing qualifies me to help people. But I always try to treat people the way I treat my best friends when they need help. It doesn't take much to help someone. Sometimes all they need is an open ear.
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Bitterness from boyfriend flirting
Q. My bf and I have been together for about 1.5 years now n he is now completely commited to me, but in the beggining he used to flirt with these girls. I brought up that it bothered me, then we argued, and he still insisted that she was just a friend ...
A. 12 May 2012: You should try to get over it. If he was willing to do all of this in order to come closer to you, you should pull your own and come closer to him. You can't expect there to be perfection in relationships after all no one is perfect so forgive him ... (read in full...)
Why did my ex go above and beyond to get my attention and then just hours later shove it in my face that he's seeing someone else?
Q. So I had to work with my ex on a project. We weren't on the best of terms before this project, but we were really nice to each other. But from his end, it was more than just being amicable. He went out of his way to be around me and talk to me as ...
A. 11 May 2012: He could just be happy and wants to tell everyone. Some people are like that. I mean it is his girl friend...he should be able to leave and come with her before and after business hours. I think you read too much into the situation but then again ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said I cant see my ex to get closure
Q. Hey everyone. I need some serious help with this. I'm sorry this is gonna be long but I need to start at the beginning of this story. Well. Last year I started dating this, what I thought, was an amazing guy. He and I had some real chemistr...
A. 8 May 2012: I think you have the past and present mixed up. This is what happens when we constantly recycle the past. You want us to understand the story and I can appreciate that. I still think it is a bad idea. Closure isn't an excuse to find out if someone ... (read in full...)
My ex is keeping tabs on me!
Q. I honestly can't figure out why my ex continues to drive by my house and call me with a private number after leaving me almost 2 yrs. ago. In those 2 yrs. he has been with 4 different woman, the first being the longest (several mths.) and she ...
A. 6 May 2012: My opinion is that your effort seems wasted in analysing your ex. I think you've had enough of his crap so just leave him be with his games and just move on with your own life. Stop sinking to his level. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said I cant see my ex to get closure
Q. Hey everyone. I need some serious help with this. I'm sorry this is gonna be long but I need to start at the beginning of this story. Well. Last year I started dating this, what I thought, was an amazing guy. He and I had some real chemistr...
A. 6 May 2012: Firstly, don't ever let anyone tell you who you can or cannot talk to. At the same time you have to understand yourself and how life has changed so much.
My advice would be to just move on. I don't think you are ready for closure. You still seem... (read in full...)
Discovered that my husband is on dating sites and talking about his 'soon to be' ex
Q. I am in need of advice once again. I have wrote on here in the past and I guess here we go again. My husband and I have been married for almost a year. He started out good but as the months went on, he started acting different. Saying things li...
A. 3 May 2012: I am pretty sure this guy does not love you and he is only taking advantage of you. You have spoilt him too much I fear. Confront him about his actions and make a decision from there. Make sure the decision is FOR YOU. ... (read in full...)
How can a person love another for so many years without changing or cheating or wanting something else?
Q. It is a long post, I hope you could be patient about me... any opinion would be appreciated!!! Recently I just got out of a horrible relationship of 3 years, I actually feel relieved and alive, although I feel unhappy for having to say goodbye t...
A. 3 May 2012: Cheating isn't a destined outcome in relationships, it is a choice. You either do it or don't and millions of people have millions of reasons for cheating.
Instead of looking at other's "relationships" and "love" you need to look at your own life... (read in full...)
How can a person love another for so many years without changing or cheating or wanting something else?
Q. It is a long post, I hope you could be patient about me... any opinion would be appreciated!!! Recently I just got out of a horrible relationship of 3 years, I actually feel relieved and alive, although I feel unhappy for having to say goodbye t...
A. 1 May 2012: I read this and I found it interesting. After some days or weeks you should re-read what you wrote and compare your thoughts with past and present. You know...everyone is different but relationships never really change. I don't think there is a... (read in full...)
36 and never been in a relationship. What can I do to turn my love-life around?
Q. I'm a 36 year old man who has never had a girlfriend in my life, not even a 1 week fling with someone, nothing at all. What am I doing wrong? I have tried numerous approaches, people say take them to dinner and stuff like that but I have never even ...
A. 22 March 2012: Actually I was going to suggest the same thing. Try to experiment a bit. Try playing harder to get , or dress the part to look rich or more like a player. You just need a way to get introduced into circles. ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to let him down easy?
Q. Okay so I just got out of a 2 year relationship where I was cheated on and lied to constantly. I am not ready to date or for commitment for a long time. There is this guy who likes me though who I have been hanging out with for a while and ...
A. 17 March 2012: Just tell give to him straight....that fact that u are using excuses will actually lead him on and he will come to realize that you have lied. ... (read in full...)
Is this cheating? should I say anything to her or let it go?
Q. I NEED SO MUCH HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!A couple weeks ago my GF and I broke up. We broke up for the weekend. She thought/thinks I am not the type to go hook up with other girls. Just because of my past and just who I am.. Well dating her I changed....
A. 14 March 2012: You can tell that the way women see things is quite different from how men see things.
What you did when you were single for the 3 days is your business. Who knows, maybe she did the same things as well. Of course you can't tell her. Telling ... (read in full...)
Should I be more flirtacious or just find someone else?
Q. Hi everyone. So ive never been in this perdicament before, ive only ever been in one relationship and it was toxic, there was a lot of cheating lying and heartbreak for me. Im still not completely over it but I am trying to move on. I recent...
A. 25 February 2012: Ask him to ask you out ^^ ... (read in full...)
Is it just me or does this whole thing with my G/f seem a little fishy?
Q. My girlfriend and I were together for 2.5 years. Last night she called me, started crying, and said that she couldn't handle the anxiety feelings that were coming back and ended our relationship. She said she felt we were too young to be this ...
A. 18 February 2012: I am pretty sure she was seeing someone else. Two years is a very long time and people can indeed change / meet new people in that time. Those feelings she had like anxiety must have come from somewhere. She is also telling you general information ... (read in full...)
My ex wife is upsetting my family
Q. I'm 43 and divorced 5 years from my ex wife Janet. We have one daughter together Amanda who is 13 and is living with me because she wanted it. We split up when she told me she was having an affair and when i asked her was it me or him she choose ...
A. 28 January 2012: You need to come out from being in the middle and take a side, preferably the side you want which in my opinion would be with your fiancee. ... (read in full...)
After six months my boyfriend still hasn't told his new friends I even exist
Q. My extremely introverted boyfriend went away to teachers college for 6 months to make some friends. He did it! Is great friends with his housemate and a few other people he met from school. Anyway, the time has come for me to meet him up there so we ...
A. 28 January 2012: Quite frankly you are over reacting. It is his business if he wants other people to know he has a gf or not. You don't have to be an introvert to not want to tell people about your personal life.
Can't you just meet them when you actually get ther... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's and my plans for life do not mesh!
Q. All right, here's the deal. My girlfriend and I have been together for just over three years. And good god we love each other like nothing else. We just moved in together and, minor issues aside and one or two larger ones that we have talked about ...
A. 7 December 2011: The two of you are still young and the both of you need to understand this. In a relationship you should know that there must be some compromises and this can help with the problem you both will face. Maybe you both can give up something for the ... (read in full...)
Conflicting Signals Have Me Confused
Q. Sorry for the length of this... I met a guy on an online dating site about a month ago. After chatting for a little bit, he disappeared. Then he wrote me an email saying that he wasn't up to chatting at the moment as a close co-worker had co...
A. 7 December 2011: I think even by online dating standards there is a lot of miscommunication occurring. It seems like both of you have a lot going on and there is never the right time. For example I know you have good reasons to reject his offers but it is still ... (read in full...)
How long would you wait for this woman in this situation?
Q. A question mainly for guys I guess - if you were in your late forties and rarely met a woman that you were attracted to and then met one that you got to know over several years and really, really liked her but circumstances were preventing you from ...
A. 29 November 2011: If I were in my 40's I would have confessed already to her by now, and gotten to know her = form a strong relationship with her and eventually make our lives together. ... (read in full...)
Much older ex says we can't be together but wants to be friends
Q. I'm confused about the guy I've been seeing for the past 5 months. I am twenty, and the guy I have been seeing is 43. I honestly fell in love with him. I can’t stand how much my family is against it, him and I have a lot of things in common. (I kn...
A. 29 November 2011: You really need to find a new guy in your life. This guy just sounds like a waste of time and it will go no where. I don't know why you feel like you need to do something....because he is the problem, not you. You think he will change and get better ... (read in full...)
How can I get him back? What happened to our relationship? PLEASE HELP
Q. My ex and I were taking a break and I found out he was talking to this new girl who lived in another state that he had never met, and I got so jealous. They skyped all night and were playing truth or dare...and you can guess what happens when a boy ...
A. 29 November 2011: I have no idea what problems the two of you had because you did not mention those. It is hard to think that it is only because of skateboarding.
Reality is that he is your ex. The relationship is over. It is time to move on and accept what has... (read in full...)
He likes "alone time". It's a source of conflict. why do I miss him more than he misses me?
Q. How should I react? Sometimes my bf likes to have his space...there are days when he just wants to be by himself...this hurts my feelings because I can spend 24 hours with him, no problems It is a source of conflict...he says I dont trust him and ...
A. 29 November 2011: I can assure you that not everyone feels like this and many people out there enjoy a little free time to themselves so that they can catch up on the things that they love doing. Not only this, but it gives breathing room and allow one to "miss" the ... (read in full...)
Family keep pushing us together. Yet I suspect he's Gay. Why does he say he'll ask me out when I'm "Free"? I am single.
Q. So there's this guy right. He's such a great guy, we met actually a year ago yesterday, but I've only seen him a couple of times.. I get really nervous around him.. Why I don't know but I do.. His mom and my sister are friends. Since the first ti...
A. 27 November 2011: It's natural you are confused dear, you don't know the guy. Not only that but you base your judgements on facebook, which I think is a good way to stereotype someone but not to "know" them. It is your call like he says if you want to get to know him ... (read in full...)
I can't get over the emotional affair with a married man
Q. Hi everyone. I am having a really hard time getting over a married man. I am in an unhappy marriage and this is why I was vulnerable to him. He led me on and then disappeared from my life. I had true and deep feelings for him during our frien...
A. 25 October 2011: Friends come and go, this is how life is. Sometimes we are all faced with decisions that are painful for us to make but we have to make them anyway, and I am sure he had to make his. Why do you blame yourself for his decision? You reap what ... (read in full...)
After patchup , do I own apology to my grilfriend?
Q. I think exactly 50 days back, I dumped my girlfriend who would yell at me like hell for small thing like why my room sounds like garbage with everything all over the place. Finally, I gave up and dumped her . We were together for 4 years and ...
A. 23 October 2011: Yes, say sorry to her, because indeed perhaps you could have handled the situation better. Perhaps you could have cleaned your room out of respect for your gf of four years. Perhaps yes, she did not need to yell at you just to make you understand. ... (read in full...)
Is it worth persuing this relationship?
Q. Story: My ex and I got together after being friends for a couple weeks. He's 25 and I'm 19. It was very unexpected since I just got out of a 2 year long relationship a couple months before and had dated someone else for a few weeks. Our relation...
A. 23 October 2011: When he said that the two of you were on different levels I think it means that I did not expect you to react in the ways that you did the led to the break up. He is 25 after a 6 year relationship and he probably didn't expect those kind of ... (read in full...)
Do I walk away? Or try one more time? when I see him, its torture when nothing comes out of it
Q. So I am just looking for people's general opinions and how they would deal in this situation. Im really sorry its long! I had a crush on a teacher who wasnt actually my teacher, in high school. I honestly cant explain the feeling. It wasn...
A. 23 October 2011: These feelings you have seem more like an obsession of an idea to me but a lot of people experienced this including myself and it is not easy to over come I am sure.
You have the power in yourself to move on from it. Recycling these thoughts... (read in full...)
Would a couples therapist be the answer? It destroys me, but she just doesn't get it
Q. I've asked a question on here before about the same thing, but this time its a little less extreme. Basically this question sums up my problem: http://www.dearcupid.org/quest...
A. 23 October 2011: That's quite the change of events.
At this rate, besides the sex, I'm not even sure where the relationship is with this girl. Based on my past and bad experiences I'd say she is cheating on you or she wants to break up with you but that may be me b... (read in full...)
Should I ask her what is wrong? Is there a mis-understanding over texting?
Q. There's this girl I like. I always text/talk to her when I can, and she asks me for homework help pretty often. Today, I was going to ask her to a dance, but my friend wouldn't leave us alone, and she left before he did. I decided to call ...
A. 23 October 2011: Talk to her in person to get straight answers....I don't even know what is going on there. Your friend might be right actually but you need to decide that for yourself. ... (read in full...)
I told her I wanted to be with her and she treated it like a joke
Q. I am in love with this girl and I have a feeling she likes me too. We chat everyday without fail and went out together etc. We always make jokes about each other and yea, we were to an extent quite much like a couple. Waited for each other for w...
A. 23 October 2011: It means she does not want to be with you because she only sees you as a friend. You should find someone else. ... (read in full...)
I want to be fair. Do I yell at them or talk to the school counselor on monday?
Q. Is this normal, or have they crossed the line? I write this while my tears are still as fresh as the memories itself.. Yesterday, I was told "if you keep talking back, you wont have computer priveledges tomorrow" I wasn't talking back...
A. 23 October 2011: What you can do which is what I did, is move out when you reach adulthood. I got a job and my own place the first chance I got and its much better than living with my parents. ... (read in full...)
I want to be fair. Do I yell at them or talk to the school counselor on monday?
Q. Is this normal, or have they crossed the line? I write this while my tears are still as fresh as the memories itself.. Yesterday, I was told "if you keep talking back, you wont have computer priveledges tomorrow" I wasn't talking back...
A. 22 October 2011: Talk to the counsellor on Monday. If you yell at your parents they will be more angry at you. I do not know why they blame you and throw all their anger at you but it is not right to take this verbal abuse. Find the courage in yourself to get those ... (read in full...)
Would a couples therapist be the answer? It destroys me, but she just doesn't get it
Q. I've asked a question on here before about the same thing, but this time its a little less extreme. Basically this question sums up my problem: http://www.dearcupid.org/quest...
A. 22 October 2011: I would imagine you have tried to get her in the mood and to me it sounds like you are doing everything she is asking for. I have been there myself and I fully believe that communication is key to solve these problems but from what I can tell, she ... (read in full...)
I don't feel loved anymore
Q. Are these signs he doesn't love me... maybe hates me, actually... or is abusive perhaps? He lets his friends make sexually explicit jokes about me in front of other people, not defending me. When I say it hurts my feelings he says that's beca...
A. 17 October 2011: When I wanted to break up with my ex this was how I acted as well. I basically did things to have my own way and to try to put the blame on her to make it look like she wasn't trying enough. At the same time this has happened to me as well which ... (read in full...)
Should I take a stand? It seems like she overreacted.
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for three-years. Although about three-months ago, she had to move to Salt Lake City for her family (her mom is sick and she needed to be there for her). I was fine with it, even though I live in Portland ...
A. 14 October 2011: Technically she has a right to take it out on you because you are her bf after all. But try to not let it break you because you are the man and you have to suck it up.
I'm think she would be mad at you for coming down there sick because then she... (read in full...)
Should I be hurt by his ultimatum?
Q. My fiance' and I got into an argument bout his job and its influence. I feel like a dirty secret. He says he wants to keep his home life seperate from his work life, ok. Yesterday he was called into work, just to realize that they didn't call him ...
A. 14 October 2011: How come he began yelling at you in the car though? And when did he tell you that it was a lie? Has he always been like this? Why did he get so upset in the car as well and how did the conversation go up to that point? And what is happening now ... (read in full...)
Should I get back with my FWB? Even though he may have a girlfriend?
Q. Hey quick question .... I Have a friend with benefit/sex buddy. Were both single, I'm single because I can't find a Guy. Its like the guys That are my type are GONE! I wish I could but I've been single for years. Even tho I'm only 20 lol. I've had...
A. 14 October 2011: To me seems like more trouble to be Fwb with someone who wants or might have a gf.
I think if that is all you want in a guy then there are plenty out there, I don't know what is wrong with meeting new people. I don't really agree with the "its... (read in full...)
Does my G/f want more from our relationship? Not saying full out sex, but maybe a bit more touchy feely?
Q. Me and my gal have been going out for 2 months today. She is my sisters friend, I am her first boyfriend, she is very innocent, and a virgin. We have neither talked about or been intimate. It stops at light kissing. What I am asking is ...
A. 13 October 2011: That is a lot of questions which means you need more experience with your girl friend. Talk to her more but if she is a virgin she may not even know that she is sending the signals. It wont make sense to give much answers because every girl is ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is not virgin! How do I forgive her?
Q. i have a relation with a girl since march 2011. after 2 months when she come to know that i love her, she told me that she is not virgin. she cried the whole night and told me that she was force by her ex-boyfriend when she was having a severe ...
A. 13 October 2011: I'm not sticking up for the writer of this question but a lot of you have to understand that a lot of culture is very different in India. In many families, having sex before marriage is a disgrace. They can even look down on you for being raped ... (read in full...)
She's leaving in a week! How do I express my feelings for her?
Q. I have been working with a woman for almost three years now. Since I first met her, I have always had a thing for her. I've asked her out on a few occasions, none of which being successful, but we get along well and it's at the point where I could ...
A. 12 October 2011: If she is leaving I would do something unique to take her out somewhere special and make her have a good memory then simply tell her that I love her.
Or I would do something simple like writing her a love letter. The letter she can keep when she ... (read in full...)
How do I make my LDR b/f understand that his actions make me feel like I'm not worth it?
Q. Im in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend of three years. As of these last few months we both are very busy. We see eachother about twice a month, skype here and there, and We text maybe at the most for a couple hours a day everyday and ...
A. 12 October 2011: In a LDR it is best to set aside a certain amount of hours and time for the partner. People have their lives to take care of. I used to be in a LDR where the time I gave to my ex was a lot but to her it never felt like I was doing good enough. All ... (read in full...)
Should I get back with my FWB? Even though he may have a girlfriend?
Q. Hey quick question .... I Have a friend with benefit/sex buddy. Were both single, I'm single because I can't find a Guy. Its like the guys That are my type are GONE! I wish I could but I've been single for years. Even tho I'm only 20 lol. I've had...
A. 12 October 2011: You should try to lower your standards and start dating other guys. You need to take chances in life else you will just get no where.
If he has a gf then it is without doubt that what you do with him will be wrong. If it doesn't bother that what... (read in full...)
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