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... Send *earo a private message | | | *earo's profile:Nothing qualifies me to help people. But I always try to treat people the way I treat my best friends when they need help. It doesn't take much to help someone. Sometimes all they need is an open ear.
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My boyfriend of two years has cheated on me with his estranged wife
Q. When I was barely 17, I fell into the trap of an older and more experienced man (Adam), thinking what we had was love. I was young and naive and was fooled by his compliments. No guy had ever taken interest in me before, so I was easily blinded by ...
A. 27 October 2015: Heartbreak comes to us in many shapes and forms. It is a difficult part of life. I understand your circumstances are complicated but there are things you have to accept.
Firstly, you need to accept that this man was not committed to you. He told ... (read in full...)
Why these feeble attempts to contact me?
Q. I left my ex due to feeling taken for granted and when I brought that up I was blamed for trying to mess up the relationship. At that point I understood that he was not afraid to lose me. With all feelings for him still in my heart I broke up w/him. ...
A. 27 October 2015: Move on and never look back. You've learned a lot so take that with you. I hope the next guy you meet will cherish you and bring you the appreciation and happiness you deserve. ... (read in full...)
How do I get this guy to listen?
Q. More guy troubles/ rant! Let's call his guy M. M and I have been seeing each other for a while now. For a while now, I've been feeling like I'm nothing but a booty call to him. I just want to hang out with him and everytime he initiates sex. Don't ...
A. 24 October 2015: There are guys out there who can listen but to me it is not really listening but rather taking initiative on matters other than sex, ie, everything else that isn't sex.
I usually thought people in america would simply die if their phone broke fo... (read in full...)
Do you think I should tell my husbands boss to mind her own business?
Q. Dear cupid, Do you think I should tell my husbands boss to mind her own business? My husband who is a licensed RN took a school nurse job that pays 20 grand lower than his market value than he would be making in most other nursing jobs. To ...
A. 24 October 2015: If you are old fashioned then you should be supporting your husband as a wife should. Calling his boss isn't something that would benefit him, after all, it will most likely cost him that job which means less income for the household. For you to do ... (read in full...)
What can I do to NOT be a control freak and be the best girlfriend I can?
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship for several months now. He is in the military and has a great deal of responsibilities and the majority of his day majorly structured and planned out for him. I work full time, but have a good deal...
A. 24 October 2015: In the event that you do freak out, refrain from dumping your feelings on him and tell him things he does not deserve to hear. You are working on your issues with professional help which is fine but keep in mind that this is your problem, and you ... (read in full...)
Was I overreacting by complaining about the frequency of the family friend's visits to our house?
Q. hi dearcupids, my parent's closest friend used to come home daily twice, thrice. my uncle (I call my parent's friend as uncle since childhood) is a very nice person, he is like family. he also treats me like his daughter. But as his frequenc...
A. 24 October 2015: Speak to your parents about this issue. You did not explain yourself properly how you feel. If you did not explain properly, they would think he was interfering you, touching you are trying to get with you. Yes you over reacted because you did not ... (read in full...)
Why he does not stop taking to this girl who is married?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years and we have a child together. He recently turn 30 and it was very hard for him. I am a year younger than him. He recently met this girl who was not married when he met her she was engaged and was ...
A. 16 October 2015: I might be missing a few things here that I do not understand. How was turning 30 for him hard? I am 29 so I am curious about this.
I am also unsure how exactly she ruined your relationship with him? Did she tell him to do something? Or is it th... (read in full...)
How can I feel like less of a failure towards my Gf?
Q. I've been with my S/O for five months now and recently found out that this whole time I haven't made her cum. She took my virginity so I understand that I am not super experienced bUT I can't help to feel useless and like a failure. She says ...
A. 16 October 2015: Learn to make her orgasm and you will be fine. It will show that you care about her. So ask her for some advice and so some online research yourself. ... (read in full...)
How do I push my bf to leave his parent's house?
Q. My bf and I have been dating for 3 months now. He is 26 and im 22. We both are very alike, and very much comitted to each other. He even gave me a promise ring. I understand that we are still very new to each other since, we've only been together ...
A. 15 October 2015: If you push him to leave his parents, would he be happy? Is he ready to move out? Can he live on his own? I don't think this matter should be entirely about you, considering your own living situations. Living on your own is a tremendous expense and ... (read in full...)
I'd like advice on how to get to know her as a friend, without flirting?
Q. Let me start off by stating that I'm sure this woman isnt relationship material, I know it wouldn't work. I'm asking this question here because I know there are people here who may have experienced some similar things/feelings at some point or ...
A. 15 October 2015: Confidence is key but confidence in knowing who you are and where you want to go in life is also important. For example, if you don't know what you want out of life, you should be aware enough to be able to admit that. Combine this with being ... (read in full...)
Is it more romantic to be proposed to in a public or a private place?
Q. Just wondering if some ladies (or gentleman) can help me out . Do you think it's more romantic If you were proposed to in private verses a public place. I've been thinking about asking my girlfriend to marry me but I want to include her daug...
A. 15 October 2015: Hmm this question got complicated fast when I began reading all the answers. I think this is something you just need to feel out with your partner because everyone has their own opinion and preference. Do some digging but don't be too obvious about ... (read in full...)
I'm falling for my boyfriend so why why why am I feeling like this about my ex?
Q. Thiz is a very stupid question but how can I stop feeling bad for dumping my ex? I'm in a great relationship now but I just imagine how bad he's feeling and get upset. He was trying not to cry when we broke up and so was I! We were on and off for ...
A. 15 October 2015: Firstly, stop blaming yourself or anyone for that matter. The relationship ended, let it end and move on. Keep the past where it was meant to be - behind you. It's not the end of the world for him or for you. When you can accept it ended then you ... (read in full...)
How should I deal with this ex?
Q. This one is a bit complicated, so I would call my recent ex Number 1 and the ex whom I am with now (my present bf) to be Number 2. Number 1 and me dated for a month and then were together in a relationship (quite intense, definitely non-Plat...
A. 14 October 2015: I don't think this is a complicated matter. While Number 1 did apologize, he is still your ex and he is confused. He is clinging to you too much and even though you do want to be friends, this is more than what you should be doing. He should be ... (read in full...)
My daughter thinks my husband and I should date other people but not divorce
Q. Had a strange conversation with my daughter and need opinions. A little history: I married very young at 18 because I got pregnant. My husband at the time was 9 years older. We were in love, only had 1 daughter and we made a life together. I ne...
A. 13 October 2015: I am 29 and your daughter is 28. Advice we offer would be from our perspective of living this generation and in this generation the things she suggested are not out of the ordinary. I don't think what she said was weird but of different age groups ... (read in full...)
I'm heartbroken over my married man!
Q. I have been having an affair with a married coworker for two years...the feelings are strong and even though we knew it was wrong we always kept going back to each other. I found out last month from a mutual friend that his plan to adopt a baby ...
A. 13 October 2015: I am unsure if this is a serious question or not but just to put things in perspective, you want revenge for something which was originally based on a lie. He does not owe you anything nor was he ever committed to you. You want revenge for his ... (read in full...)
How can I convince her my feelings are real?
Q. i have been talking to a girl and i like her a lot, we dont often meet so we are in long distance relationship which is okay for me thing is first she used to tell me that she likes when i say romantic things to her but now she tells me that i ...
A. 13 October 2015: Long distance might be ok for you but as you can see it is not ok for her. You can't simply convince someone that all will be well when it takes more than a few words to prove oneself. Actions speak volumes in relationships. If it was possible then ... (read in full...)
Our families forbid us to get married, but I can't see myself with anyone else
Q. I was in a serious relationship for 9 yrs wid a guy frm my college. But now when v decided to get married, v gt to know dat both our families do not support dis marriage as there is some very old relation wid both our families. By that, they say me ...
A. 1 October 2015: Even in terms of going against your family wishes, if your boyfriend says that he wont leave his family for you then there isn't much you can do from here. Even if you convince him to leave them, in the back of his mind, he would come to resent you ... (read in full...)
He complains about being bored and he's rude. Should continue seeing him or just leave?
Q. Please correct me if I am wrong!but I am really mad at a guy I am seeing for a little over a month. So on our last date(which was yesterday) he called me over to his place and no we did not even kiss it was us just hanging out and having dinner,b...
A. 27 September 2015: I think you deserve better, sorry. Sounds like one of the worst dates I've heard of. ... (read in full...)
The relationship with my b/f cooled faster than I expected, and I'm attracted to a girlfriend!
Q. I've only let a couple of my close friends know about the situation I'm going through right now, and I felt I really needed some outside advice. I'm a female that's been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now. In the beginning, i...
A. 5 September 2015: There are many aspects of a relationship's story I always look for before giving advice and when I can't find it, I direct those back to the OP. For example, have you tried talking about your problems with your boyfriend? Is it something you are ... (read in full...)
My husband is obese and has health issues. Should I leave him or continue to try and support him?
Q. My marriage is suffering due to my husbands excessive weight gain, should I leave him or continue to try and support him and hope that things will get better? We've been together for 11 years and have two young children. I love him dearly but ...
A. 31 August 2015: He needs a reality wake up call. If you can get someone to advise him on this perhaps then he will turn things around. Even though "you" are trying, it is fine to get outside help. This 3rd party help can also benefit you as well including your ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend confessed that on a drunken night out she made out with a co-worker and now says she can't be in a relationship. I'm lost!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for two years.we are very much in love and have experienced many things together. We have traveled and we have over come adversity in the past. However a couple of weeks ago she told me we had to talk. She ...
A. 25 August 2015: I don't think there isn't anything you can do. She wants out and wants to experience things more before she settles down. While I prefer to think the grass isn't always greener on the other side, ultimately, some people still want to do things that ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of nine years said to me " You are sooo stupid," in front of his 18 year old son for the first time.
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for nine years and for the first time he called me stupid in front of his 18 year old son. He was showing his son and I little black spots that seem to be appearing out of nowhere in his bathroom and we have no idea ...
A. 20 August 2015: Well...if there was a weird spot or scent in your house and someone asked your same question I am pretty sure you would not find it amusing. At least the relationship isn't completely boring after 9 years. ... (read in full...)
Do I bother him too much then..? Or am I worrying again about this situation?
Q. I have a crush. We've been friends for three years.I told him about 6 weeks ago at camp were we work that I like him kinda. I'm very conflicted as he's my first crush.I was raised in a male only household so i have a knee jerk reaction to not ...
A. 20 August 2015: At the very least there is no need to rush or force more out of the situation. If you have more time on your hands than he does, just find some way to occupy your time. You are not doing anything wrong and he is not doing anything wrong. Take it ... (read in full...)
Issues with his ex. Am I crazy?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for 10 months, and I love him with all of my heart. We've never had any serious problems. He tells me this is the best relationship he's ever had. About 2 months ago, I looked at his Instagram for the first time. I ...
A. 20 August 2015: Spend more time trying to figure out the things you are upset over. Your boyfriend has not done anything wrong and neither his ex. You are just nit picking at the events that happened. The more you feed your insecurities the worse it will become. ... (read in full...)
Why does he seem to have so much rage?
Q. Im in need of relationship help.... Heres the problem: Ive been with my guy for almost 3 years now. And just like any relationship there are arguments that happen. My guy has a problem with me "being real / speaking my mind" but that's just the type...
A. 17 August 2015: He has anger management issues. He either needs professional help or you simple have to break up with him and move on. I do not think there is anything YOU can do since the issue does not stem from you. ... (read in full...)
Why is he so secretive? Is he protecting me?
Q. I have a relationship with a guy I have know for over 30 years. We first got together in 1983 then lost touch. Met again in 1999 by chance and rekindled and had a child. We both have children for previous relationships. Cutting a long s...
A. 3 August 2015: I've noticed you mentioned some things about his past and his general behavior to you and your family. I don't think this has much of a connection to his apartment situation.
Since he invited you to his new place and not his old place, then one... (read in full...)
I don't feel loveable. How do I change this?
Q. I dont feel lovable. I dont know how to resolve this feeling? I had a very rock relationship with my mother who never shown any love to me. (though I was very much a daddy's girl this really affected me.) I was happily in a relationship up unt...
A. 2 August 2015: Well life goes on, it did not start with a relationship and you can survive for the loneliness to come. I do not think blaming your parents is needed on your part now. You are an adult and you can more than change your own behavior if you want.
... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend cheating on me ?please help !
Q. Hi, I suspect my bf cheating on me :( so,I just came back from overseas after two weeks and found out my bf washed the bed sheets..he haven't put them on, only washed them and left in another room to dry out, and when I wanted to ask him where the ...
A. 2 August 2015: I think if he is cheating, you should be able to find more than suspicious bed sheet activity. Something like overly private phone behavior, unnecessary arguments, etc.... (read in full...)
How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong?
Q. How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong? I snooped and found something that i really wanted answers to. If its true i will have trust issues with my husband. Well, i tried to control myself but he s...
A. 27 July 2015: There seems to be many strong words at play...reverse psychology, confrontation, silent treatment etc. You both seem to have some communication issues. Something seems out of synch and I can't exactly tell what it is. Perhaps there is more to your ... (read in full...)
What is the point in remaining married really?
Q. Hello cupid, I am a 40YO female struggling with the meaning of marriage. We originally wed 8 years ago with the thought that we might decide to have children together. Now I found out I have PCOS which makes it hard but not impossible to have c...
A. 23 July 2015: You should ask what you can do for the marriage rather than what it can do for you. Everything you have mentioned are things many couples face because people do change. I do not see the harm in discussing your ambitions with him and sharing them ... (read in full...)
My husband of 5 years told me that he still loves his ex and she is always in the back of his mind. Should I encourage him to try and find her?
Q. I've answered a lot of questions on this site, and now it is my turn to ask for advice. I'm a woman in my mid forties who has been with my awesome, loving husband for almost 5 years. Our relationship is amazing, far and away the best of my life,...
A. 16 July 2015: Given that I am not in his position it is difficult to say what HE wants to do. Every now and then we think back on the past but he said that he thinks about her every day. I think after a marriage this long it almost feels like having to start over ... (read in full...)
Why does he appear to limit the opportunities for me to meet his friends, his mother and his family?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for over two years and we have lived together for those two years. Our relationship is okay but could be a lot better. We have the same problem coming up . he doesn't take me around his mom, brother or friends....
A. 1 July 2015: So why did it stop?... (read in full...)
Is it worth remaining in a relationship if you don't trust a person?
Q. Is it worth being in a relationship if you do not trust someone? I love my boyfriend, very very much. Yet, I think he does things that are a little shady. Lately too, I've been wondering if he is cheating. He didn't want me to see his phone so...
A. 29 June 2015: Going through your partner's phone is usually left as a last resort method. It's not meant to be something that invades someone's privacy just because you have trust issues. Reason being, it breaks many boundaries that cures no insecurities ... (read in full...)
How could he throw in the towel and walk away like that?
Q. My recent ex bf is 49 and I am 39..we have been together a total of 4 1/2 years with a 1 yr break in between because he thought the grass was greener.. After making him wait I took him back and we dated another 2 1/2 yrs. we broke up almost ...
A. 24 June 2015: I don't know his side of the story so it is hard to say why he would give up.
What I do know is that you both had completely different goals for the future and it was not being resolved. He wanted things his way and you wanted things your way... (read in full...)
I need help leaving this married man. I just can't do it!
Q. I have been here many times before. I am the loser who is in love with a married man. I know I need to leave but I just can't find it in myself to do it. I know he doesn't love me. He told me. And he told me he will never love me. I have ...
A. 8 June 2015: In a sense of speaking your life is being ruined as we type these messages to you. The more you order your life to revolve around him, it is time that could have been spent searching for someone who is able to commit. But instead you make excuses ... (read in full...)
I feel my ex only thinks and cares about his own needs only, advice please!
Q. My ex lives with me for a yr now. He doesnt pay for anything at all including rent. Hes bought a jetski thats been fixed on off and dies again on off. He spent so much money on the jski and none on his 2kids. Hes always telling me that I should ...
A. 5 June 2015: Kick him out. You can not force him to love you. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend will not apologize for standing me up!
Q. After looking everywhere on the Internet for an answer, I feel like I should ask my very own question out there. Boyfriend of 8 months is usually wonderful, I know that he does his very best for me and our relationship. He's very committed and ve...
A. 1 June 2015: Firstly, he is who he is, and a lot of guys out there just dont have that romantic bone in their body. I think a lot of wives can vouch for this and have learned to accept the things their husbands do that they think expresses their love.
Secon... (read in full...)
My 17 year old daughter has told me she is bi-sexual. I've accepted it, but I am very upset by this news. What's the best way for me to go forward?
Q. Yesterday, my 17 year old daughter told me she is bi-sexual. I have noticed for a couple of months that she has been very distant from everyone except me. I asked her to tell me what was wrong and she eventually told me. I am very proud of th...
A. 21 May 2015: My best advice would be to always support your children. IF she said she wasn't bi, she would have said something else or something else would have happened in her life. Your children will always be faced with new challenges. Many mistakes are made ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to love someone and NEVER be jealous?
Q. Is it possible to care deeply for or even love someone and NEVER be jealous? I have always thought that being jealous meant being afraid to lose someone. That is because you love or care for them so much. And it is a feeling which overcomes us, wh...
A. 21 May 2015: I think your question can drive a lot of material but I think jealousy is normal in many relationships and no jealousy is also normal in many relationships.
If you are both happy, not hurting others, supporting each other and being true to each ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being his dirty little secret!
Q. Dear cupid me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years now and I still have not meet his family or his 10 year old son his wife passed away 6 months before we started dating everytime I ask him to meet his son he just tells me that he doesn't ...
A. 16 May 2015: You shouldn't make excuses for him. Ideally you should talk to him and find out what is up. ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being his dirty little secret!
Q. Dear cupid me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years now and I still have not meet his family or his 10 year old son his wife passed away 6 months before we started dating everytime I ask him to meet his son he just tells me that he doesn't ...
A. 14 May 2015: Sounds like a progressing pattern of the cold shoulder. I do not think anything better will happen any time soon, and there is a chance he is dating someone else. This relationship is only going backwards and you are wasting your time with him. I ... (read in full...)
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