A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I turned 18 late July last year. The September after, I started dating a girl who was 16 at the time and 17 in March. I think that's a fairly significant age gap, but it wasn't really a problem mostly because her and her parents are fairly... open minded.In February, that girl moved to Australia never to return leaving me single. It was a sad but clean breakup and we are still good friends and talk often.While I was dating this girl, she told me that her friend, who I know as well, has had a crush on me for 2 years. Since I was still dating the Australian girl I didn't think much of it.A few weeks ago, this friend started chatting me up on Facebook which reminded me of the crush situation. I've been single for 4 months and out of school for 1, so I admit I get lonely. But this is my X-girlfriend's friend. I still like my X and want to stay in touch but I'm not sure how she would react to this. I intended to talk to her about it, but a 16 hour time difference means it's not always easy.Long story short I ended up on a friend-date with this friend on Tuesday, meaning no kissing and such assuming it couldn't hurt. Although it was pretty romantic for a friend date and she clearly dressed to impress. Now she texts me non-stop and wants to hang-out much more, which I fully expected and was almost my intention.More importantly, yesterday, I found out that she is actually quite a bit younger then me and doesn't turn 17 until August meaning she is 2.1 years younger then me, which at our age is a lot. She has another year of high school and I am going into 2nd year engineering. Parents usually like me, being an engineer and studying all the time, but I'm not sure how they would react to such a big age difference. I would be 19 when she's still 16 which I'm pretty sure is illegal.Basically I have 4 big problems:-This is my X's friend and I don't want to burn any bridges-Me knowing she has a crush on me makes me feel guilty for noticing all her flirting-She is quite a bit younger then me and her friends and parents may not approve-If I suddenly stopped hanging out with her, she would be very upsetShe is very pretty and would make a good girlfriend except for the above problems.Am I wrong to go after a girl so much younger then me even with good intentions? It's so complicated in my mind I don't know what I should do. Any advice or assurance would be helpful.Thanks,Sorry it's a long read.
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (2 June 2012):
When I was 25, I dated a girl that was 17. Sick? Yes. But weirdly I did not know her age until we actually decided to date. I only assumed she was 23 because she seems so mature. Anyway, there aren't much bridges to burn since...well..your girl left you lol. My advice is to go for it. I understand your situation but do understand that this age gap is actually not big. She is 16 but time will change this soon. Maybe she will tempt you hardcore because you will try to resist her. But relax and try to enjoy life as well simultaneously keeping your own morals together. The fact that you realize her feelings can be a sign of your maturity as well, and many guys are often clueless about such things so...no worries. Take a step back and stop analysing the situation so much because I think the only one making it complicated is you my friend.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 June 2012):
 Well your ex girlfriend is now back in Australia so it is good that you are moving on, however I am not sure its in the right direction, you are right it is illegal for you to do anything sexual with a 16 year old and you could go to prison for this if you do anything other than kiss her. Therefore I think you need to ask yourself what kind of relationship is it you are wanting, and if you are prepared to wait a long time to be able to do anything other than kiss. I think the best thing for you to do is to let this girl down gently and find a nice girl your own age. It is best to do it now before she thinks you are leading her on.
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