A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Help, ive got myself into a pickle.Im a 36 year old women who would one day like to get married and have a baby with the right man.I have no children and have never been married.A lovely 28 year old guy asked me out,he is handsome ,charming and kind.Then my ex boyfriend (38) of 6 years heard a couple of guys had asked me out and then wanted back in my life just like last time. ex never wants children or marriage.When two guys previously to this asked me out, i did the right thing and told them i may be getting back with my ex and that i couldnt have contact with them anymore. Then the ex treats me so bad that we split up.Now, yet again the same situation. A month has passed and hes wearing down my self esteem again with emotional abuse and constant putdowns.This time i kept texting the young guy as the ex kept informing me we will split up again. So this time i think i will go on a second date with the young guy without my boyfriend knowing.I dont expect it will lead anywhere.But he seems a lovely kind man and the guy im with is yet again turning into a control freak but whom im still in love with.Surely one date with the young guy to see wont hurt?or i do what i did last time, be honest and lose everything again.Before anyone takes the moral high ground how do i not know that the young guy is better for me?All i want is a guy who treats me right and whom i will love and be with.
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emotionally abusive, my ex, self esteem, split up, text, want children Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, Danielepew  + ♥, writes (6 November 2007):
 I agree that you need a guy who will treat you right and love you. I just don't think that the 38-year old is that man. Apparently he wants you back the minute he knows another man sets his eyes on you, but dumps you when he feels sure you're not seeing anyone else. He doesn't love you; he just sees you as his property.
I called him "the 38-year old" because I can't call him your ex. I'm not sure about this: if he's your ex, how can he be splitting with you?
As to the 28 year old, I think you should not date him unless you are really willing to try your luck with him. He's not a past-time. Maybe he does fancy you and expects a lot from that meeting. I don't think it would be right to break his heart.
A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (6 November 2007):
 Forgot the moral highroad, I think you need to just get rid of your ex to begin with. He is not going to make you happy nor if you continue to let this happen to let you become happy. You need and deserve to be with someone who will make you happy.. that will marry you and have a kid or two. He just doesn't want to see some other guy do what he couldn't do..make you happy. Forget your ex. move on. Don't make a mistake that you are later going to regret. Your ex does not care a bit about you.. otherwise he wouldn't just come around because soomeone else wants you.. he'll come around because he wants you. and the way it seems is that he just doesn't want you to be happy with another guy.
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