New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244966 questions, 1084314 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

After cheating, is the love ever as good again..can you forget and does time heal?

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 November 2006) 31 Answers - (Newest, 22 April 2011)
A female , anonymous writes:

Just a simple question but i'd like to hear from people who've been cheated on and are still with their partner.... Is the love ever as good as it was and will you ever forget it (not bring it up)?? Does time make it easier?

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, bakugan United Kingdom +, writes (22 April 2011):

hi all...

I can not believe what happened to me...

For 5 months now my husband had an affair with a female college. First it was on messages and emails, at work, later it started even going out together and i understood everything. We have been married for 10 years now and i know him very well.. As soon as i understood i installed softwares on his phone, laptop etc. The evening he went to ****** cheat at me with her in her flat i connected my software and listened to everything. Imagine i listened how they did it. I wanted to scream and wished he could hear me, but no way... I have forgiven him because its the first time and he said that was the first time he did it with her which i do not believe, but i can stop hearing how they do it, she is always infront of my eyes, just when i look at him i see him with her. Pls pls help me... How to go over this... I have two amazing kids and i love him to death, because apart from this afair he has always treated me like a princess. I can not understand now if i love him or hate him for betrayding my love. Those two feelings change places every few minutes. He kind of changed, regreted and he told her that he has a wife and kids and she has to orget about all, but i still do not trust and i do not know how i ll ever do... Pls help me... I can not take it anymore... It happened only 2 days ago and i feel like i m going crazy...

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011):

I am still with my fiance but he cheated on me three years ago when I was preganat with our daughter. It happened in our house when I went out of town and in my best friends wedding. His fried always cheated. Well he had two girls and another dude with him and did not want his baby mamma to catch him at his house. So my fiance called me and told me that they were all sleeping at our house I trusted him his mom lived right down the house. I come home the next day find an old nasty dirty rag in the bathroom and asked what it is he says it was his friends so I believe him. After I have our baby 5 months later I come home one day he is sitting on the step crying like someone has died. Then I get out the car and he says baby I need to tell you something and I say I already fucking know what happen. The love has not been the same. I know he has never cheated on me again because he tells me when he realize what he was doing he told that bitch to get off of him. But its still hard sometimes you know I dont know what to do are think are will he ever do it again? I love him and we have a child together.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, seraphine Canada +, writes (17 April 2011):

I am so glad I could see other people who have the same feelings as I do. I met my husband and married him over a year later after moving in together. He was to adopt my 2 children and I was to adopt his child. Both abandoned by their respective other parents. We became pregnant the wedding night. A few months later I found out about him having an affair which he started weeks after being married. He had been talking to her the whole time and started cheating a month after the marriage. I had to go through the rest of pregnancy in hell. We went to counseling. After counseling I found out about yet another woman who he had met in Australia, again, after we married. She was married with three children AND pregnant as well with her husbands child. He told her on a chat I found that he loved her. I will never forget those words. He told me he loved me and not her. He told me he wanted to work things out. Yet a week ago I found a photo of a woman on his hotel room bed from when he was at work away from the house again. For almost a year we have been trying to "work it out". I cannot seem to forget what he did. I go from loving him to hating him. I cannot trust him or any man ever again. He and all these women have ruined my family and life. I was not a bad person to him. I loved him with all my heart, sexually did whatever he wanted, gave him everything, and still do. Our children live with us full-time. It's not just me he has affected. It's them too. I love him so much. But our one year anniversary is today, he is away, and he didn't even get me a card or mention it. I feel so hurt. I look after our 4 kids by myself full-time and work. I feel abandoned, neglected and confused. When he is here, I feel ok...but still the issues arise. Internet porn, strange women appearing and disappearing on facebook, he is on the computer and his phone texting, even in the bathroom...all the time. And then there is the lack of sex. I don't deserve this I know that...but my love for him still remains and I don't know why. I forgive him for the cheating, but not the lies. Its the trust that is gone. The marriage feels dead, poisoned and stained. All of my dreams for raising our children together...gone. Growing old and seeing our grandkids together...gone. All for small, feeble minded people to get together for quick thrills. I am sure if they had real love they would be together to this day. But what they did potentially ruined a lifetime of happiness for me and my children.

I am usually a resiliant person. Have never had something like this happen before. But all my trust in mankind has been destroyed. I am on antianxiety meds since the incident. My heart aches and I cry daily over it. Now he says he is "sick of it" and wont talk about the issue anymore. I am almost sure there is still someone else. He is away and never answers the phone when I call or texts. I give him lots of space and try to be respectful, until it all starts coming back to me...then I can't let it go. But I hang on. I feed off the crumbs he gives me. That is all I have. My self-esteem was crushed by this. I will move on someday I know. With or without him I am not sure yet. All I know now is that loving him is too painful right now. But it is all I know how to do. I fear that he will leave...and leave us all alone to fend for ourselves now. I try daily to find ways to cope. It is very hard. I do not want to be a single mother again...but I don't know what the future holds. I feel used and abused. It is not fair. And he and these other women get to move on as if nothing happened, leaving the wreckage behind that they caused. My son is even in counseling now. This whole situation is just crap. What is marriage for anyway if people don't take it seriously anymore? Next time I am requesting a psychological assessment on any future partner I get serious with...or not getting involved at all. Single is probably the best thing these days.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011):

You dontstop loving but trust is almost impossible to regain. Been dating 8 years and he cheated more than once. Says he has changed; bought ring and all but you never stop wondering when it will happen again.Angry at myself for not walking away years ago and time makes it even harder to walk away. I regret staying and now don't know what to do. Talking marriage but so full of fear.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011):

I think that men have a hard time forgiving. I had a fling with a friend of mine. My relationship was distant and emotionally abusive. I was lonely. No excuses... but I hadn't had the resources or strength to break of my marriage. When the shit hit the fan, he confessed to making out with my best friend 2 years ago while I was in surgery and recovery... Shitty... He said that it was by no means ANY comparrison to what I had done. Like some of the other readers, my husband continually obsesses over visualizing what happened, questioning me, calling me names... everytime we have an arguement. He says that he wants me to show him full love, but I cannot since he is constantly beating me down, checking up on me continually, pretty much stalking me. I haven't quite figured out whether it's love or control that he wants. It seems to be more about his ego than it is about love because he didn't treat me right before I had the affair. Now he expects things to magically be better and for me to be the stepford wife without addressing the issues which got us to the point of becoming unfaithful. It's very easy for him to use my affair as a fallback-attack for every arguement. It seems that we are (as my therapist says) "circling the drain" unwilling to make things better but unwilling to take the plunge into divorce.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010):

it has been 1 year today since the last time he cheated... that i know of, he knows he broke my heart, and i do check his phone, i ask where he has been and for details of what he did at the place and i get mad wen he so much as looks at another woman. i never did these things before, i don't like going out to parties because i don't want him wandering again, i feel he does that when there is something better in the room, i don't hang out with any guys so he won't hang out with any girls, but i still feel like he is hiding something, lying about something... i still cry when i think about the two times he cheated, and i think about it all the time, no it has not been the same, i still wish like probably everyone else that it never happened, but its my fault i was there and i fell asleep drunk both times, it was my fault for trusting him so much

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010):

Definitly a cheater deserves to be kicked out, it makes you feel unworthy and unloveable, and they always do it again there is no such thing as life after cheating, the relationship is dead as they checked out the minute the started undressing the other one, taking them back would just be complete misery for the rest of your life find someone who deserves you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010):

I have cheated before when i was younger but i didnt care much about these people...

someone i later loved cheated on me but didnt tell me for a year...It broke my heart,i couldnt stand to be touched by them after that, knowing the last year was a complete joke of a relationship....

I am with someone whom i love profoundly & unconditionally, through all our ups ans downs, my the love is just as huge as when I first met him...But he couldnt show me love, I know he did (how you ask?- i just knew)just couldnt express himself to me. He became more witdrawn after a bad time in his life and no matter how much of myself I gave to him, he couldnt give an ounce back.

A year of this and a particularly bad day, led to me going out with friends,to cheer myself up..I drank too much, went home with a friends male friend and ended up kissing....

I realised I just wanted the attention and the laugh we were having because I didnt feel invisable, but wanted nothing more so I left...I wanted it from my man not him....

I confessed 2 days later....he's still inconsolable now and still cant tell me whether we have a chance of fixing this.....I'm distraught...I cant live without him...yes in a way it was to get him to sit up and notice me but I've no idea if we will ever get back from this....

I cannot believe I've done this to him, knowing now that I can lose him, even with all his problems, I dont care, I dont want not to have him in my life...

I regret every second of that night...I hope to god he will forgive me....

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010):

im a guy that has been cheated on and she got preg and then got an abortion all without me even knowing. i forgave but i never forgot. it will always hurt when brought up and for that i am sorry to say there is no cure... you will be happy after awhile but when it gets brought up you will come crashing down. im still with her and i love her yes but the thought of her and HIM kill me all the time. just hearing his name hurts and angers me to the point that someone has to stop me from hurting ppl. im sorry to say the love is never exactly the same... at least for me.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010):

I too am looking for the answer to this question. I found out a week ago today that my boyfriend cheated on me twice over the summer and I never wouldve known...I didn't know, I only found out through the HUSBAND of the other woman whom had chosen to confess to her husband. My half never said a friggen peep. He played his role as the amazing boyfriend flawlessly. Little did I know what he was really up to. It burns because I'll recall fond memories of ours together and I'll think of how they're been robbed of me because the line of what was real and what was an act has been blurred. I didn't see any problems in our relationship. I thought he was it. I have no idea how we got this way. I think how can I give someone a 2nd chance if we were so perfect to begin with? What makes this time any different? I loved him right the first time, why should I suffer to let him have a second chance with it? Don't I deserve better? If he knows he wronged so horribly and loves me so much, shouldn't he know that too...that I deserve someone else? I don't know how it happened- cheating for me wasn't a temptation or an option. There was no "yes" option for it. I had 0 desire for that or anyone else. Is love enough to pull us through this? Can't I be loved by someone else rightfully, I deserve that much right? Do I want to be a changed person if I give him that 2nd chance...paranoid, jealous...that's not who I am. I don't want to be that person. Nick...why did you have to do this to us baby. She was the one with a troubled marriage...our relationship was on solid ground...or so you'd have me believe. I don't feel like living. I have plenty of reasons to live; friends, family, a future...but I don't want to see a future without him. I don't wake up happy. There is no forgiveness without love and there is no love without forgiveness...I love him. I truly do. I've always known this. If he's just now figuring out how miserable life can be without me; it's too little too late. I'll come to a decision to leave and completely reverse it and want to stay. I'll come to a decision to stay and completely flip and say no way, impossible I can't. So long as I picture him undressing for her...doing things he's only supposed to share with me. Will these nightmares stop? Someone save me. Idk what to do anymore. Uggggghhhhhh!!!!! Hahah I'm going crazy :pp

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2010):

I know I'm probably not going to be a favourite on this board but I also want to add another perspective. My bf and I had been together a long time, but as time went on it seemed there was less and less trust (from him to me) with nothing done on my part to instigate this. I was "forbidden" from going to certain places, or talking with old friends that he did not know "just in case". After awhile I just needed an escape, which I did not go looking for, but came to me. I met a man online. Who I could talk to, but never about anything about my relationship. One day, when that leash was particularly short, I slipped away, and gave him a reason to be paranoid. It was the start of an affair, which never meant anything to me, but made me feel wanted, and free again. I confessed it to the bf, and vowed to do anything to gain his trust back again - including changing my phone number and starting a new, very honest type of communication with him. He gave up on me though. And now we're both miserable.

Sometime there is a total lack of emotion or empathy on the part of the cheater, other times - like in my case - it's just a cry for some kind of help. I would do anything for him, and to get him back. He's my best friend and soul mate. He wants to be able to trust me again in the future, but I know that had he trusted me in the past (before anything happened) that things would be so much different now.

So, on behalf of the cheaters, I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for the following part too, but there may also be two sides to the story.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, best friend no longer Canada +, writes (16 October 2010):

No you will never love him like you did before you found out. After 33 years together and 18 of them married he had a girlfriend for 16 of the 18 married life.He had the best of both world... before the kids and after the kids.. he decided to cheat as i was busy with the family life...he was never there anyway. Funny as I was just thinking about that I will NEVER give him all the love as before... I check his phone and still wonder.I know he has come to his senses but I will never be fooled again. I will never give myself up to him as I did before ... never will I trust as I did before and I already told him when he dies I will flush him down the toliet.He has taken 16 years of my life where i do not know what was fake and what was real so he deserves nothing.... Yes I am staying with him as he has truly turned himseld around but you never know as one day I may say this is not enough... I hope this has helped abit but you are really on your own as only you know what the feelings are and how you can deal with them.. thanks everyone for letting me rant.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2010):

The worse thing that can happen to a marriage is an affair. And it happened with me. It was on since 19th August 2002, his B'day. Started on e-mails, phone calls, IM's. I was told that she had lots of work to do and was finishing it on the computer. Jan 2005, I discovered the home work. She said that they slept once ( he was in Canada while we were in India). I believe it was more than once. I got hold of all their e-mails exchanged over 3 years. He was writing to her about 5 times a day and explicitly. It was his first visit and I caught it as soon as he left. I cried and cried for 4 days asking her for an explanation. All she gave were excuse. I stayed....because of my daughter and son. We were married for 12 years when it began. The love is still there. I loved her blindly. The trust is gone. It's been five years now. The fact that I am at this forum implies I have not forgotten. On 400 gms of Psychiatric pills since 3 years now. I don't think I will ever forget. We are a happy family now, but yes, I still doubt her. That chap was her class mate in school, vanished after that to haunt me after 20 years. I still check her cell phone, why I don't know. If she can cheat right under my nose, she can again without leaving a trace. Still I am glad I gave our marriage a second chance.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Yotalover United States +, writes (24 May 2010):

She was my whole world. She cheated, said he meant nothing. I allowed them to be friends, they got closer, fell in love, she fell out of love with me, they went to the beach, she kicked me out and slept with him again, we were about to divorce, he broke it off with her because he didn't want to leave his wife and 3 kids. Twice I listened as she cried and screamed over losing him which was daggers in my soul. I loved her and trusted her with all my heart. She asked for me to come back, I did but now all I feel is emptiness. The thought of them together, the thought of her loving someone else is killing me. She still loves him, she works with him, she says she wont talk to him ever again but I don't know if I can trust her. I have lost all hope for everything, I live my life with no future in mind, I don't care what happens now. I'll work to keep a roof over our heads, eat when I'm hungry, drink when I'm thirsty, sleep when I'm tired but I don't care what happens now, I don't care about anything anymore.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009):

I am where u are now. The bad part is I've been here before when I was with someone for 7 years with signs and things being said from others but didn't find out all of it until after I ended it. No wonder he was never around. Then I meet this new guy who is home everynight, who was next to me for the bith of our son, who when asked to do anything was there for me, spent time with my family and friends and cheats on me for most of it even 6 days after seeing his son for the first time. He has begged to work it out and I just don't know. I've been here before and losing trust is the hardest thing to live with. I know I will heal quicker if I end it with him. My problem is you had this long to stop it on your own and he didn't. So why should I believe that NOW you will not cheat anymore. I wish you the best and what ever decision you make, make sure you think about your happiness not his.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2009):

I have to say I'm a little relieved to see I'm not one of few people going through this.. Don't get me wrong I feel for you, it's just nice to know I'm not alone. Anyways, I believe everyone has a threshold for this type of thing. Some people feel too violated to continue with the relationship, some people feel responsible for what happened and then there are others that exact revenge on their cheating spouse.. And some people go through all of these feelings, most ppl I think.. The bottom line is, time will most definately heal all wounds, it's the scar left behind that we all get hung up on. It's the fact that no matter what your partner says or does, you will never know for sure what they are thinking. If they're lying. If they truly care about you. It sucks but it's just another part of life.. But I've learned that things seem to work themselves out as long as you know what YOU want. Keep your head up..

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, yybadr Canada +, writes (13 July 2009):

i was impressed when i found a lot of other peoples answering with "can not forget" because i personally thought that i have black heart as they say when somebody can not forget. it is 2 years now and i couldnt really forget, i was trying my best but always the jalousie and suspicion when a girl is around my husband. trust is almost nothing because he never help me to gain that trust after the affair always hiding his accounts or his mobile. will anybody helps me and give me advice on how i can forget for myself the hate of loving him is killing me.i always say to myself i shouldnt love him that much and accept what he did to me.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, MichaelS United States +, writes (17 May 2009):

I am trying my best!!! She had a boyfriend when she was teenager. They went separate ways and he go married and had a family. After a few years they got in touch again and continued the affair. She met me and after 6 months of dating decided to marry me, but never letting go of her previuos relationship. We talked about our past relationships before getting married and as said i have moved on she said the same. After being married for 8 yrs I have never cheated on her, only to find out that she never broke off with him. Saw the emails all the way back since we married.

To say the least, I am hurt. She has promised me to finish off everything with him, I am trying to trust her.

Can I trust her? What are the chances she won't do it again???

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008):

The love is good but not as good as it could have been, doesn't feel like his whole hearts in it, never can truly trust anything he says. But you love him with everything you've got and you couldn't imagine your life without him, but sometimes you want your life without him cause he doesn't deserve you.

you always deserve to be loved for who u r and nothing less so if one girl isn't enough theres no reason to stay so why am i? i guess i chose this path not knowing where it'll head.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008):

I know my jealousy will not go away, and being in love with someone who hurts you so deeply is almost impossible

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2007):

I was with a man for 8 years. He cheated on me when we were engaged with an erotic massage. He told me. I gave him a 2nd chance. Then he fooled around with some girl at work during lunch. I broke up. I gave him another chance. More girls calling. Another massage. Broke up. Came back year later claiming he wanted to marry me & loved only me. Try again. This time found out he had a girlfriend for a year who thought she was the only love,too! I tried every way to make that %#^* relationship work; however it made me paranoid & miserable. I loved him; but he didn't love me with his actions. I still love him, but know I am better alone than being lied to & worrying all day. He may have loved me; but he was a selfish lover! I just hope I can love & trust a deserving man one day.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007):

i cry every night, when i am with him and when i'm not. i love him but dont trust him. i don't know where to turn. i feel like a failure. cant even keep my bloke happy. i've not been happy for 6 months. spilt up 3 times within those 6 months, can't live with him or without him. :-(

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007):

i'm just wondering about something ... my boyfriend sat me down and told me he had cheated on me one month ago - just a one-night stand with a girl he knows. not only was i devastated at his actions, i was even more upset he told her we were drifting apart as i had no idea he felt that way. since it happened we spent some time apart and then have both laid everything on the table about how we feel about each other - i took him for granted and didn't tell him how i truly felt because i was scared of getting hurt and he thought he was not good enough for me. anyway, since it happened we have been closer than ever. we have cried together and told each other our secrets. i guess this broke down a communication barrier we had but didn't know existed. however, his actions are still in my mind and i think about it every day and whether i should give it another go. is it possible to go back to someone after this knowing what they did but keeping in mind we are closer than ever? am i being totally naive?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007):

No the love is never the same. I felt paranoid, always looking for numbers, emails, letters, checking cell records, cell pones, questioning his every where abouts over a span of 6 years. You can forgive but you can't forget, and when you don't forget it's always at the back of your mind. I physically made myself sick. I was short with the kids, family and him. My self esteem is very low too. Although I am an active, fit, and attractive woman he makes me feel insecure and unworthy. He says he is sorry, but is he? I don't think so, so no love can never be the same after an affair. oh little foot-note: I was the other woman in his last realtionship 10 years ago. We just got caught then stayed together. Ironic huh?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007):

When you find the answer to this question please share it with me. After thinking your life with someone is secure and comfortable and after the shock of finding that he was having another relationship not once but twice with the same person this very devistating. I'm damaged and am holding on to the little faith I have in hope that there is a path to trust and forgiveness.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2006):

well well.. I am being cheated on... actually have been for years, but just in the last year it has been actually physical. I have a daughter with him now. No, I am not staying with him, thou I see him every fricking day 'cuz of daughter. I am having a really hard time of letting go and accept this is who he is (he's never been faithful to anyone, but now that I think about it,neither have I thou I was unfaithful to him as reaction to his cheating) and who I am. Besides, he believes wholeheartedly that he is NOT or has been unfaithful (since in his mind he was done with this relationship but failed to let me know oh! but he did tell our daughter who is only 2 yo!) wow! so! no fricking way I am staying with a man so messed up. I have paid my dues, literally since he extrapoliated all my finances and has finally left me dry to "beg" to him. hahahah! I am doing it, right! crying and all, so in a sense I am learning his hypocritical ways and I am not feeling so guilty about it. Begging for food money I mean (thou when we "were" together and I had money I handed freely 2k cash money for his whatever doing... mmm nice payback huh?).

It's only been a week and change and I am already finding out that there lots of available real men out there who just would love bein with me.MMMM... just today I got 3 date request... not bad. So! yes! there is life ahead and there is death behind. I am feeling at times guilty but have cleansed my conscience by asking wholeheartfeltedly for my wrong doings in the relationship, ie: expecting way too much of him and getting angry at him for no meeting up my expectations (like working to pay his way for 4 years or picking up after himself or helping around the house or being honest or just being there when I needed him while I was bleeding to death after a terrible miscarriage in which he chose to leave me for the Dr who performed surgery and hours later for his friends to go to Chicago to party for 5days!) NO WAY I am staying... although I feel sorry for my baby for no having the oppty to have her parents together is best this way.

You will find your way. I took my part of responsibility in my relationship and daily working on myself and I just keep becoming stronger and stronger in my decision that this is really over. Good luck my friend is indeed a hard road.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2006):

Ariel, I so respect your positive, outlook on life, dear. And you are so right, each and every one of us is different and we deal with this in our own way. I know my viewpoints on this issue may bug some people..but thank you for respecting my feelings on this. You truely are a dearheart and a thoughtful person. Best wishes

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2006):

Here we go again...sigh. How can one ever believe that belief or view that somehow the wronged partner, contributed to being cheated on? Sheesh..I suppose people who cheat like to use that excuse, to justify what they have done. And..I suppose some cheaters do what they do...because cheaters don't know what else to do with their own misery. Well...communication? talking through tears? couple counselling? This might work, instead of boinking the nearest warm body.

All I have to say I made the best decision 'kicking my cheating partner's butt to the curb'. Because from from that, dark deepest sorrow came the greatest joy. I eventually met someone whom I adore and trust fully. I believe in that old saying that 'No man or woman is worth your tears because the one that is worth it...will never make you cry' And I have to admit-in all the years I've been with him...my current man has never made me cry.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Lostandalone United States +, writes (10 November 2006):

Lostandalone agony auntI think so. That is if everyone is willing to make it work. Irish is right on one thing. You will never ever forget and then again why should you??? It should be ammunition to make the second time around work. Think of how it hurt and how miserable you were. Think of you did to contribute to it. Then, think of how it would be if the mistake was flipped on the other side and how you would feel. I figure if your going to think about it use those thoughts for the betterment of your relationship and not as an excuse to tear it down. Good Luck.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006):

Many years ago, I was cheated on. And no, I am not with that person anymore. So perhaps my thoughts aren't what you want to hear but I do want to add my 2 cents. I asked him to leave and I moved on. I know a lot of people do believe in 2nd chances and if that works for them..then all the more power to them. However, I could not. His actions told me that he cared more about what he wanted than what he and I could build together. I knew I would never, ever trust him again and I just felt life was too short to waste it away, like this. You may be a more forgiving type of person that I was and over time one can possibly will forgive their partner, but I can say without doubt, one will never, never forget. I, myself, knew for a fact--I couldn't keep continually remembering my ex's betrayal and it would've been painful for me looking at him, over the breakfast table, every morning. That was too simply too much for me, to endure and face each day of my life. So for me, I ended it and moved onto a new beginning with a man whom I trust, whom I respect and whom I love to wake up beside, each and every day. Just my own thoughts on this. Everyone deals with this in their own way. Good question, by the way.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, tux United States +, writes (10 November 2006):

tux agony auntI could only tell you if that time comes.. Personally I have accepted it and realise people make mistakes.. but I still do have my trust issues with her at times. but it has been a little bit better than at first.. but as long as she stays honest than I can't complain.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "After cheating, is the love ever as good again..can you forget and does time heal?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312979999871459!