A
female
age
41-50,
*zt
writes:I am in a tricky situation. I was seeing this one guy but we weren't romantically involved it was basically a friend with benefit type of situation. We never went out or talked much, only when we wanted to see each other. Well a month ago I started talking to his brother and things between us was wonderful from the start. We got along great. We agreed to start dating but the problem is we still haven't told his brother. I don't want to ruin their relationship but at the same time I want ours to work out. I'm falling for him and he's told me twice he loved me. What should I do? How do we tell the brother? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (20 July 2010):
 If brother number two really loves you and is serious about you he will tell his brother on his own without your help.
I suspect though that you are being played. A brother rarely wants to be serious with a girl who is casually having sex with his brother. You aren't' girlfriend material, you rather loose, and embarassingly, his brother has had you. I am sure this is a shared ho kind of thing.
Sorry, if that hurts your feelings, but I've seen this play out before many times with brothers and I am in my 50's so have decades of observing this kind of FWB behavior. Haven't you ever heard Bro's before Ho's...it's true.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): I met the new brother on facebook that's when I realized they were brothers. The fwb brother and I only dealt with each other 3 times. And the one I'm dating knows about this. I told him when we first started talking about that. His brother know we're friends but don't know anything else.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (19 July 2010):
 Well, if you were truly just friends with benefits it shouldn't bother him.
Unfortunately, when you are dealing with brothers it gets more complicated. I'm surprised the brother you want a relationship with is ok with this, because often brothers don't like having a relationship with a girl that was sexual active with their sibling. Many times jealousy and competition develops.
Since you are strictly friends with benefits, the best way to proceed may be with the "new" brother talking with the old one. There's no reason you should have to "breakup" with the old one.
Is there anything you're not telling us? How did you and the new brother meet? How long were you and the old brother fwb?
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