A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:About a month ago now i had a dream i was a lesbian, before that I was perfectly straight. Now i'm really confused about my sexuality. I have a boyfriend but now i just don't know; i feel really happy when i'm around him and i really love him. But everytime i think i've sussed out my sexuality thoughts about this dream come crawling back. I don't think i'm gay and i don't want to be. I'm just so confused and tbh sometimes i wish i didn't exist. I really need help on this one guys and don't suggest a therapist or something because that involves telling my parents and i just can't do that.
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female
reader, confused4321  +, writes (10 November 2009):
its just a dream not real
A
female
reader, storm08 +, writes (12 September 2009):
 i beleive all dreams have a meaning, especially the reoccuring dreams... i doesnt mean you are a lesbian in your waking life. i looked up lesbian dream meanings for you and this is what i got...
To dream that you are a lesbian (but you are not in your waking life), signifies a union with aspects of yourself. It is symbolic of self-love, self-acceptance, and passion. You are comfortable with your sexuality and femininity. If, in your dream you abhor the notion of lesbianism, then it represents your fears and rejection of parts of your own sexuality.
if you ever need advice on your dreams, go to google and type in dream meaning, click on the one that attracts you most and type in a key word... good luck x
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A
female
reader, LoveIsRough +, writes (12 September 2009):
 I am not a lesbian. I had a dream like that to, but don't worry. Did you know straight people get turned on by lesbian porn. See? Our world is strange. Don't get scared.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2009): What you do in a dream doesn't mean anything... there's no secrete decoder book to translate a dream to realtivy. Maybe the general topic may mean something, but at your age having all kinds of ragging hormones is likely to be throwing your body all kinds of wild emotions & feelings. While it's hell going through it, many (MANY) of us did.
As for getting some outside advice, first, relax about the fear that your gay... if you have feelings for a boy, odds are REALLY GOOD that your NOT (and by really good I mean 99.9%). Hopefully you have a cool aunt or someone who's not a parent to confide in and simply talk to.
But, please keep this in mind- You need to develop an open line of communication with your parents. You'll need this over the next few years, and once you have kids your certainly going to want to be able to call Mom and ask her all kinds of stuff. You deserve to be cared for, and part of that is getting some professional doctoring- in this case it's emotional doctoring, which can be some of the best kind!
good luck! There's lots of folks here who are willing to reassure you, but you need to take a simple little step to reach out to someone close to you. Please take the leap- it will surprise you how much better you'll feel!
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A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (10 September 2009):
 Ok. I can tell this is a big deal for you. You're a teenager though (I believe) and that just means a good few years of confusion and a lot of emotional torture. You should exist and you do coz you're just as important as every other person on this planet.
I'm not saying that what you're thinking is just a phase. There could be a lot behind it. But in general, I have to say, dreams mean nothing. It's just letting your imagination loose for the night. So I would stuff it.
But what happened in your dream is playing on your mind. You could have just laughed it off and forgot about it but you haven't.
You've said that you're very happy with your bf though and you don't think you're gay, so try to forget about it.
Keep a diary or something, to keep a note of your feelings. It should help let it out and get your thoughts straight.
Don't worry too much.
Good Luck. X
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (10 September 2009):
 Never think that you should not exist! You're obsessing over a dream and going through teenage angst.
Most people when they get into their teen years feel the kind of confusion you're going through. Everything seems confusing and you're disoriented by all of the mixed signals you get in life. The fact that you say you're not gay and you don't want to be tells me that its not the content of the dream that's bothering you.
Going to a therapist is easy. You don't have to tell your parents what the dream was, just tell them that you're having a hard time coping with some issues that you don't understand and you want to find out what they are. This is the signal to your folks that you can't even put your finger on it. Then when you see the therapist discuss the issues you're bringing up here privately and within the confidential relationship with the therapist. The therapist is not usually allowed to discuss things that are confidential with your parents unless YOU agree to it or you present some sort of a danger to yourself and others. So you have to make that clear up front that you want confidentiality.
Of course there are ways you can address this with your parents. Try not to be ashamed of yourself. Everyone here at your age suffered from a lot of conflicting ideas of who they were, what they were, or even where their future is going. And believe it or not, your parents went through the same thing you're going through.
You're the rule not the exception so don't feel like you shouldn't exist and try and go to your parents for help whenever possible. I know its kind of embarrassing to talk about these things with them, but they're your parents and presumably they love you. That means they're going to have all the patience and understanding in the world. Of course if you honestly think its not good to do that, or if they have issues, just try and get some therapy as described.
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