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... Send *idge a private message | | | *idge's profile:I'm 35 years old and after 12 years have just broken up with my boyfriend. I was born and lived in South Africa until 1997, when I moved to Scotland. I am currently studying Community Education after my father passed away in July 2009. His death made me think long and hard about what I had, what I want and how Im going to get it. I have loved, lost and loved again. I have a lot of experience in areas that sometimes I wish I never had, but the experiences make me stronger and able to deal with things that normally I wouldnt be able to. I dont pull any punches and call a spade a spade, some like it, some dont. If you ask for advice, be prepared for a frank and honest answer. |
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I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 13 September 2007: Right, you are setting yourself up for heartache and possibly more grief than you need by still remaining in contact with her.
You are better than that! Leave her alone!!!!
Its hard, we all know that. I have also lost loves in the past, but I ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 3 September 2007: You do nothing! You dont want her hassle and grief!!... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 15 August 2007: Dont do anything!!!!
Do not write, text or phone her! She will play mind games with you and hurt you again and worse!
Its never easy to get over someone that you think you are in love with. But the fact that she did what she did to you makes... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 10 August 2007: As I have said to you before, some people like to see others hurt and they like to do the hurting. It makes them feel so much more important than they are. (Or so they think!)
You havent done anything wrong other than be open and honest with her... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 16 July 2007: Its nothing you have done. She sounds like a very vendictive type of person.
When someone says they want you, it doesnt always revolve around sex, so dont think that all girls are the same.
Just hang in there, the right girl will come around... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 7 July 2007: Firstly, if she is so repulsed by your disability, why didnt she just say "thanks but no thanks" to start with. Instead she plays mind games and gives you attitude because you wont jump to her command!
Look, she just isnt worth it! Stop reading ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 4 July 2007: Finally the penny has dropped! As difficult as it may be, you have made the best decision ever!... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 21 June 2007: I wouldnt worry about it to be honest. It sounds as though you have some kind of stress reaction, but if you are concerned or it persists and doesnt get better, I would suggest that you speak to your doctor sooner rather than later.... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 20 June 2007: You said it, its the last straw! Call it a day and be done with her! As said before, some people get a kick out of seeing others suffer. They are no better than pond scum! Honestly you are so much better off without her!... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 18 June 2007: Firstly, you havent done anything wrong, so her giving you the sob story about "you putting her in hospital", is absolute bull. She shouldnt have told lies and been so deceitfull to start with. Had she been honest and acted her age, this would never ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 13 June 2007: You are finally understanding that this girl is not worth holding on to because she WILL hurt you!!!
This manipulation thing is an old trick that so many people use today, and unfortunately it works on a lot of people. They know they are hurting ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 12 June 2007: Right, I think it is safe to say that the kid here is her!
You are getting yourself too deep into something that is perhaps nothing, and you are gonna hurt yourself!
You have already started having feelings for this girl, and I say girl becau... (read in full...)
He beat me after I cheated... can I fix this or should I leave?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been dating for 4 months i know that doesn't sound long but in that time i cheated on him three times he found out and cheated on me i don't know how many times and beat the hell out of me then hit me a few times after the ...
A. 12 June 2007: No-one is making fun of you. You obviously like the guy enough to actually think about leaving or not!
However, if there is drugs involved, do you really want to get yourself involved in that? Okay you say that when you are with him, you are the ... (read in full...)
I think I am being bullied by my female boss, and I am not sure how to deal with it.
Q. I think I am being bullied by my female boss, and I am not sure how to deal with it. I have never really gelled with her like I have with other colleagues, although we do get on to a degree. She insinuated today that I had misfiled some re...
A. 12 June 2007: Firstly, what she is doing is not right and any manager should do their utmost to ensure that that kind of behavious doesnt happen in an office environment. The fact that it is your boss that is doing this, means that she is in the wrong, and she ... (read in full...)
Seven months, we're in love and I bought the ring to pop the question! Should I wait or do it?
Q. I have a 20 y.o girlfriend and i am 25 y.o we have been together now for 7mths we both are very much in love and talk seriously about marriage and spending the rest of our lives together, do you think it is right for me to pop the question yet is ...
A. 11 June 2007: If you are both in love then even if you pop the question now, there is no rush to get married tomorrow. You can be happily engaged for a time, making sure that you are right for each other. Many people do it.
Dont make the engagement too long... (read in full...)
He owes me money for a car! But he's ignoring me..I have some options-help me decide which one is best?
Q. I bought my fiancee a car when we were together, on the condition that he paid me back by installments each month. He was paying each month and signing the agreement, until we have split up. We have been back and forth to each other deciding i...
A. 11 June 2007: Personally I would consider going to a solicitor and asking about an "Action for specific impliment"! Its an action that will MAKE him pay the balance of the money back.
If you have something from him stating that he has promised to pay the mone... (read in full...)
Still love him but after the split, he's unbearable when we socialize with our mutual friends! Any thoughts?
Q. 6 months ago my boyfriend broke up with me and I was hung up on him for months. I'm finally starting to get my life back on track but I feel as though he's holding me back. Even though he broke up with me he holds a grudge against me and be...
A. 11 June 2007: Firstly, if he loves you like he might do, the worst thing you can do is make sarcastic comments. It doesnt exactly instill the feelings of love, rather resentment. So if he were feeling about you in a loving way, boy is he going about it in the ... (read in full...)
He beat me after I cheated... can I fix this or should I leave?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been dating for 4 months i know that doesn't sound long but in that time i cheated on him three times he found out and cheated on me i don't know how many times and beat the hell out of me then hit me a few times after the ...
A. 11 June 2007: Firstly, two wrongs dont make a right. You cheated on him, so he cheated on you. Sorry, but if it were worth saving, he would have thought about it.
Secondly, are off your head? Are you actually thinking about staying with someone who has put his ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 11 June 2007: You have just nailed it on the head then. She obviously doesnt love you, its just lust! If she has a track record of being like that and doing that to her partners, who you honestly want that? Even if just for a short time? Would you want to be ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 9 June 2007: Well you have actually just answered your own question really. You said that you didnt want her to have sex with other men, which means that you dont trust her. A relationship is based on trust, and it wont be a relationship if you dont trust her ... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 7 June 2007: Okay, the question here is, "How do you feel about her?"
If you like this girl, then you need to sit down with her and tell her. If you are not sure, then there is your answer.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people that play the game of send... (read in full...)
My parents are telling me that marriage is burdensome! Now I'm depressed about my upcoming marriage!!
Q. I am depressed because of my marriage coming near as my parents give me an impression that i am heading towards some kind of burdensome relationship to carry for my entire life as they had been doing it themselves.. I feel too much overwhelmed with ...
A. 4 June 2007: Dont always believe what others tell you. Marriage is a sacred relationship between two people who love each other. Some people get married because they feel that they have to, others do it because they feel its expected of them. Those are the ... (read in full...)
My bf physically abuses me bc of anger issues! How do I get the courage to leave him?
Q. i feel as i am in the same cycle as my mom was. my mom was with my dad (whom was an alcholic) and has put up with abuse from him degrading her to beating her. one day, she managed to be brave enough and walk away with having nothing except taking t...
A. 4 June 2007: As hard as it may be, you just pack your stuff and walk out the door. Its not about empowering yourself, its about having enough respect for yourself to know that THAT is NOT how you show someone love, and THAT is NOT how you treat the person you ... (read in full...)
She lied about her age but her reason was valid...I think? What do I do now?
Q. Hi, I'v been dating a girl for almost 5 months, but recently she has told me her true age :( I initially met her in a night club (pub) hence didnt query her age when she told me she was 18. Plus she looked 18, and the staff of the club must ha...
A. 30 May 2007: You obviously care about this girl, because you are trying to justify why she lied to you. And to be honest, I dont think her reasoning for lying to you for so long is a justified excuse.
However, since you both have obvious feelings for each oth... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't want any physical contact. Can we save this marriage?
Q. Is there anyway to save this marriage? I have been with my husband for over 4 years. I noticed a real change in his romantic and physical expressions of love after just one year. We used to have a great sex life, kisses and hugs "hello" and "goo...
A. 25 May 2007: I know that over time, the passion can fade, but the sex life should still remain.
I think there is something underlying here. Have you asked him if "everything physically is okay?"
Unfortunately I have come across it in my studies and ther... (read in full...)
I cheated on her. Should I come clean before we get married?
Q. My fiancé and I have been together for about 13 months. 6 months ago we separated for a few days and I slept with three different woman trying to ease my suffering at the time. one of them was my ex who was always a worry of hers, one random stray ...
A. 25 May 2007: From experience, I can honestly say that telling her is the best thing. It will be the hardest thing you will have to do, but it will be the best.
I was cheated on by an ex for almost three months. When I eventually found out, I was more upset th... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 23 May 2007: With intimacy, so long as you take it slow, and dont rush all the experiences you are going to learn about, it will be great! Its when you rush things that it soon dies and isnt interesting for either party.
Just go slow!!... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 23 May 2007: Just remember, soft and gentle!! Trust me its like riding a bike, you never forget. And if she is right for you, you will never want to forget that first kiss!
Dont be nervous, just relax and enjoy the experience!!
Go get 'em tiger!... (read in full...)
We can't seem to have a baby! When's the best time of month?
Q. i need some help, my husband and i have been trying to have a baby and it dont seem to work, we both have been to the doctors and we both are good to have a baby but i was wondering if any one can tell me when the best time to try is?.....my period ...
A. 22 May 2007: I agree 14 days after your period however, you actually need to know when that is to "schedule" it.
I know that extremely thin people or people that have some kind of eating disorder have problems falling pregrant and dont have regular menstrua... (read in full...)
I cheated although not sexually, I'm pregnant with twins, but my bf doesnt think they are his!!!
Q. Hi, A few months ago i cheated on my b/f of 2 1/2 yrs. I met a bloke off the internet and spent 3 nites with him. We didnt have any sexual contact as such although we did kiss and we both wanted to but i couldnt go through with it as i realised...
A. 22 May 2007: I am not sure where you are in the UK but if you contact your local GP they will be able to advise you where your local relationship counsilors are, and you can then contact them and make arrangements to go and see them.
You obviously love eac... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 22 May 2007: Absolutely brilliant! I am over the moon for you!
Enjoy it, and have fun!!... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 21 May 2007: Perhaps her family will be as open to the age difference as my parents were. I was 23 and my boyfriend was 33. They loved him and still do.
Dont let the age thing interfere with what could potentially be a wonderful blossoming romance!... (read in full...)
My parents were over protective when I was young, Im now 21 and dont feel I have a normal life and I'm scarred!
Q. I grew up with two very overprotective parents, who wouldn't allow me to grow up, in fear of losing their little girl forever. Whenever I tried to act my age, they would give me a hard time and I would get in trouble, even if I was doing something ...
A. 16 May 2007: Well I had two very overprotective parents. I wasnt allowed to go out to friends by myself, or do anything that you would see as normal for a kid.
My parents are still alive and they are still trying it with me simply because they have no-one e... (read in full...)
Should I continue to give her space in the hope you will come round in time ?
Q. My girlfriend and I split up 6 weeks ago after 3 1/2 years together. Over the past few weekends we have met up talked and been intimate together. I have finally got it out of her that she is still angry with me for a row that happened last august ...
A. 16 May 2007: Well whatever the argument was about, she really needs to get over it first before you can get on with having a relationship. Giving her space to make up her own mind is the best thing.
Leave her to contact you, so that it doesnt seem as if you a... (read in full...)
I'm getting married to my gf, but I'm madly in love with a coworker.
Q. I am getting married in less than 2 months to a girlfriend of 4 years, she has 3 kids from a previous relationship who I get along with well. The past year has been very rocky: we have argued quite alot over everything from sex to money, the ...
A. 16 May 2007: If you have any doubts what so ever, dont do it!
It is a difficult thing to do, but as previously said, you will be hurting a lot more people than just you and your partner. Bringing kids up in an environment that is not stable and where the pare... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 15 May 2007: You have to remember that not all woman are the same. We dont all just think about looks and what we can get from the bloke. There are a lot of us out there that think about more important things, like how you make us feel about ourselves and how ... (read in full...)
Would it be right for us to have a baby before the marriage?
Q. hi everyone i just need an advice from you guys, im with my bf for a year now then just recently he asked me for us to make a baby just to make sure that we could have one he's 30 and im 26, i told him that i wanted marriage first before anything ...
A. 14 May 2007: Well if you have any doubts what so ever, dont do it!
The fact that he is wanting a baby is great, however if he has previously broken up with his partners due to the pressure of wanting marriage, then who is to say that he doesnt get you pregnant... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 14 May 2007: Let us know how you get on. I think she'll really enjoy that!... (read in full...)
My marriage is in tatters!!!
Q. My marriage is in tatters - i always moan about money and in particular what he spends, when he spends it and on who or what. I am hugely jealous of his time, how he spends it, who he spends it with and what he does - we have been together 10 ...
A. 14 May 2007: Perhaps there is still a little room for salvaging your marriage.
You admit the problem so you need to deal with it. Perhaps you should sit down with your husband and tell him. "Okay, I know I have made mistakes, but I am finally prepared to deal ... (read in full...)
Should I continue talking to my friend even though she hooked up with the guy that I liked?
Q. Well I like this guy who is just awsome.He cares about me he doesnt want me to skip school or hang around with bad influences.So this guy also talks to my friends.Well a couple days ago my friends called him and he went over their house.Well him and ...
A. 14 May 2007: Firstly, a true friend will always be there for you, so if its a choice between a friend and some guy, go for the friend. Even though she may have done something totally wrong, perhaps she thought that since you hadnt made a move on him, it was okay ... (read in full...)
Is our differences with each other because of our age gap or because we were raised in different countries?
Q. Hiya I'm Crystal and I'm dating a man named Robert. We have a great relationship and everything seems wonderful...the relationship started out as a friendship and has slowly progressed into the "love" area, and I couldn't ask for better. The o...
A. 14 May 2007: I can honestly say that the differences are of no consequence what so ever. I am a South African and my boyfriend is Scottish. I moved here 10 years ago and we started seeing each other a year later. He is ten years older than me, so I was 23 when ... (read in full...)
How can I compete with this older guy that likes her too?
Q. Hey there, I have a problem (again), you see I have a date to prom and she is the girl I have had a crush on for a long time, so Im thinking of asking her out for a date at prom. I'm just unsure to ask her, I know a "no" isnt the end of the world ...
A. 11 May 2007: I wouldnt consider this guy competition simply because he may have had a valid reason for not texting her back straight away and the fact that she is trying to get even with him, may just annoy him to think that she is just being childish and not ... (read in full...)
Its all collapsing, how do I know if I'm still in love with my husband and what should I do?
Q. I have been married to my husband for 7 years and have 2 kids age 3 and 4. When we first got together it was amazing but over the last few years things have changed. I have changed. I was happy with my life and now i am not. I feel really bad as my ...
A. 11 May 2007: You may have all the material things in life, but do you have all the emotional things you need?
Its all well and good having the house, the money etc, but if you dont have the emotional support then yes, you will feel like this.
I have been i... (read in full...)
I'm getting married to my gf, but I'm madly in love with a coworker.
Q. I am getting married in less than 2 months to a girlfriend of 4 years, she has 3 kids from a previous relationship who I get along with well. The past year has been very rocky: we have argued quite alot over everything from sex to money, the ...
A. 11 May 2007: I cannot stress enough how much more you will be hurting in a years time when you are married, still arguing about the same things with your wife, and not being able to get out of it.
You are best to come clean with your fiance. If you are unsu... (read in full...)
His Ex is coming on tour with us, im not always around, how will I know if they have it off!?
Q. Have been living with my partner since 3 years. His ex-GF is now coming on tour and would live with us for a while. I may not get time off work, he would. She's sent eMails and both say they're just friends now. How do I know if they have it ...
A. 11 May 2007: Do you not trust him?
My boyfriend regularly goes on tour to foreign countries with an ex of his who is in one of the bands. I trust him 100% that nothing happens. If I didnt trust him, there wouldnt be any point to the relationship! They go to cl... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 11 May 2007: You may be disabled, but you can do ANYTHING YOU WANT TO. Call up the co karting place beforhand and tell them that you have a disability. They should be up to speed on various disabilities and should be able to accomodate without any problems. I ... (read in full...)
I liked her, and now that I've found out she's 13 I feel like a monster!!
Q. This is tearing me apart... About a year and a half ago, when I was 17, I met this girl. There's no other way I can describe it, but it felt like we just "clicked" instantly. She was with another girl who I knew to be 15, so without much though...
A. 11 May 2007: You are an honourable guy! Not many people would have done the same thing! But you obviously have morals and that is something lacking in todays society.
I cannot stress enough how good it is to know that there are still people like you out ther... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 11 May 2007: I think that taking her go karting would be GREAT!!! Give you both an adrenalin boost! Always good on a date!
I think that she will love it! I know I would!... (read in full...)
I'm serving in Iraq and I found out that my wife at home, is cheating! What should I do?
Q. I am a US service member serving my 2nd tour Iraq, I was recently informed by e-mail from a young woman who knows my wife that she's been cheating with her brother, while I've been gone. I love my wife, but what should I do, leave or work this out?...
A. 11 May 2007: Being away from home for a long period of time is hard on both you and your wife. This is absolutely no excuse for her behaviour, "IF THIS IS TRUE".
Can you trust this person that gave you the information? You need to be 100% sure before you jump... (read in full...)
I'm dating a younger girl but I don't know where to take her. Help?
Q. I am dating a girl who is 18 and I am 27. Has anyone got any suggestions for dates?...
A. 10 May 2007: Depending on what type of girl she is, depends on where to take her.
If she is the romantic type, the chances are she just wants to spend time with you, and as already said, a walk in the country and a picnic is always a good choice.
If she ... (read in full...)
He's married with a kid and I have fallen for him! How do I get out of this mess?
Q. Hi, i've got a bit of a dilemma because I have fallen for a guy who is older than me by 7 years, married and who has a kid. We both really like each other but I don't know whether to take this relationship further. We haven't actually done anything ...
A. 10 May 2007: You have a choice to make. Do you want to go out with this guy or not?
If you want to go out with this guy, stop the flirting and ask him out. I agree in the belief that marriage is for life, but there is two sides to the story and you dont hav... (read in full...)
Does anyone believe in life after death?
Q. does anyone believe in life after death?...
A. 10 May 2007: I am probably one of the very few that actually does believe in life after death. I have read a number of books on reincarnation and to be honest, there is evidence of some people coming back and knowing things that unless you have lived in this ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend will only love me if I loose weight. Should I dump him?
Q. My boyfriend told me that I need to lose weight. We just got back together after we broke up for a couple of months and he said that I looked like I gain weight. So I told him you don't love me the way I am? He said I'll love you if you lost some ...
A. 9 May 2007: If my boyfriend ever said that to me, I can honestly say his arse would be grass and I would be the lawnmower. What an absolute cheek!
You love someone for who they are, not what they are and what they look like.
I have put on a few pounds sin... (read in full...)
Should I meet up with my ex even though I now have a BF?
Q. Hi I'm meeting up with my ex this weekend. I only went out with him for a few months back in 2004, we split up because I felt that there wasn't that spark there, plus it was a long distance between us. I've been with my current boyfriend since ...
A. 9 May 2007: Well my take on this is, if you have no "feelings" towards an ex anymore, then there is no harm in seeing them. However, advising your current partner is always a good thing since if you dont, they may think that you still have feelings for the ... (read in full...)
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