A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello all, hopefully someone out there can help shed light on my situation. My girlfriend and I have been together almost two years. We love each other very much and always try to help each other succeed and be happy. We also both show our love to each other everyday. Or at least this is how it has been most of the time. Recently, my girlfriend has become very depressed (for about a month or so). It has been a gradual change and I think there are a lot of factors influencing it. Some of them include excessive school work, stressful family problems, and a specific problem with me. I have been very stressed too (more than I have been in my whole life due to my job). Because of all these factors me and her spent less and less time together and the time we dd spend wasn't as fun. After a month of being depressed we figured out the problem, made some adjustments (removed some of our work loads) and continued on. For about two weeks things have getting better. We are doing stuff together again and enjoying each other's company. However, sometimes she slips back down into the depression out of nowhere. If I make one mistake...ignore a phone call, act busy, etc...she sees it as a sign that we can never get over this falling out that we have and that it is over. She gets so depressed and just acts like it is the end of the world every time. She gets so pessimistic. This has happened about 10 times (over the past 2 - 3 weeks) I don't know what to do. I feel like I have no room for error and that I a constantly being inspected. I also feel like I am constantly letting her down...which feels awful. Please help, what should I do? I still love her deeply.
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female
reader, Midge  +, writes (8 May 2010):
 My boyfriend is a manic depressive. I love him dearly, but at times, its so bad I cannot stand being in the same room as him because he brings me down. So I get where you are coming from.
If you forget to do something, so if she asks you to do something, it has to be done NOW! If you say, "Yeah, I'll get it in a minute", its like you have just ordered the armageddon. The world is due to cease any moment!
The way I handle it, is by giving him his space. From experience, there are two ways in which people suffering from depression handle depression. (1) They either want company all the time to help them get through it, or (2) They need there space, and dont really want anyone around them. My boyfriend wants space. What does your girlfriend want? Have you asked her?
Also, with depression, there doesnt always have to be a reason for it. Clinical depression is an imbalance in seratonin which makes them depressed, and tablets normally solve this. But it has to be diagnosed first.
You need to get to the bottom of why she is depressed. If she is prone to depression, then she needs to tell you if there is a reason, and if there is, what it is, so that you can both try and come to some resolution. If there isnt, she needs to get to a doctor and have it checked out.
Unless she tells you what the problem is, you unfortunately cannot help and are the closest one to her, so will have to bare the brunt of it. So if I can give you any advice. Take her somewhere calming, like the beach. Sit her on the sand and ask her, whats wrong. A calming environment generally gets the best results.
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