A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hii!iam not an athlete..but i dont hav an hymen layer..i found this when me and my boyfriend had sex..from that point of time he is suspecting me a lot..!!i was a virgin when i slept with him..but he is not trusting me b'coz of the absence of hymen layer..my question is that why dont i hav a hymen layer eventhough im not an athlete and im a virgin.?i am really depressed b'coz of this and i cry everyday for this.pls help me!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank u people for giving me your views.i was very much confused and depressed about this.i was very much depressed b'coz though i was truthful and a virgin i dint hav an hymen.this made my boy friend suspect me.i wanted to prove him that i was a virgin and move away.ive cried for many days for this and depressed b'coz of his abusive words.now im clear.thank u guys!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): Yno, not all girls are even born with a hymen, show him your question and maybe he will learn to mature a little from the knowledge he learns. He is clearly not ready for sex if he's throwing accusations at you. My hymen layer is very small so it's basically like I don't have one and I'm still a virgin, and if the guy I lose my virginity too thinks otherwise then I'll be getting shot of him that's for sure, although I'm sure I would int give it away to someone I was sure wouldt be like that. Basically he should be happy that he didn't cause you any pain or bleeding. The fact that he thinks you're not a virgin (at the time) makes him an asshole dear.
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A
female
reader, Midge  +, writes (31 May 2010):
 Honestly, this guy is a complete arse!
If he has some kind of magic penis that can tell if you have a hymen or not, can you ask him what gel or formula he is using, because I am sure many other men would be happy to purchase it!
You cannot tell from having sex whether you have a hymen or not! Just because you dont bleed, doesnt mean you are not a virgin. I didn't my first time, as have many other woman had the same experience.
And seriously, if this guy doesn't believe you, he isn't worth the hassle! It means he will continue to be untrusting in many other aspects of your relationship and that is NO relationship at all!
Tell him that if he doesn't believe you, its over!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): your boyfriend is an idiot worth dumping. You don't need to be upset about this. You either broke it some other way or you didn't have one for whatever reason.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 May 2010):
 Your man is a jerk. How did you know you did not have a hymen? Because you did not bleed? Not all virgins bleed, I dont understand why all men seem to think so. I did not bleed, and neither did my friends. If your boyfriend wont trust you he is a BAD boyfriend and you should leave him.
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer  +, writes (31 May 2010):
 There are many ways you could have torn your hymen (excluding sex) to include masterbation, tampon insertion, gyno appt., physical activities, ect...
The problem to me isn't how your hymen tore, but rather why your boyfriend doesn't trust you.
You told him that you were a virgin. If he doesn't believe you, that's his problem.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (31 May 2010):
We don't know where your hymen went...not every single woman has one and it can break from riding a bike. Who cares? If your boyfriend doesn't believe you then tell him he can kick rocks and go find a chick whose hymen is intact.
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A
male
reader, vssia +, writes (31 May 2010):
The hymen is actually very easy to break, just riding on a horse too hard can break it. Are you crying because you don't have a hymen, or because your boyfriend doesn't trust you?
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (31 May 2010):
 Awww, don't worry about it. I lost my hymen before I had sex for the first time. I was too young when I wore a tampon for the first time, and boy did it hurt like heck!
But some girls don't ever have hymens, some lose it because of some accident or horseback riding or any number of things.
Your boyfriend needs to get a grip and take your word for it. He should be relieved that he didn't hurt you! I was happy that I had lost mine years earlier because my first time didn't hurt me! Some women actually go to the OB/Gyn to have it removed before their first sex.
Don't cry, and don't let it get to you. Not having a hymen does NOT mean that you lost your virginity. You're not a CD - you don't need to have shrink wrap. You were a virgin because you hadn't ever been with a man.
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