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... Send *idge a private message | | | *idge's profile:I'm 35 years old and after 12 years have just broken up with my boyfriend. I was born and lived in South Africa until 1997, when I moved to Scotland. I am currently studying Community Education after my father passed away in July 2009. His death made me think long and hard about what I had, what I want and how Im going to get it. I have loved, lost and loved again. I have a lot of experience in areas that sometimes I wish I never had, but the experiences make me stronger and able to deal with things that normally I wouldnt be able to. I dont pull any punches and call a spade a spade, some like it, some dont. If you ask for advice, be prepared for a frank and honest answer. |
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I have this mad crush on him and he's leaving in May. What can I do?
Q. When i Started High School In Year 7 There Was The 1 Lad In Year 8 And I Hated Him I Couldnt Stand Him. ..................................................... Im Now In Year 10 And I Am Truely Crushin on him so Badley He Is All I Think About - He...
A. 20 April 2007: You need to feel better about yourself.
Perhaps get yourself all dressed up and go out with some friends for the evening. Show you how beautiful you are and show you that other boys can like you.
You have to remember that the way you see your... (read in full...)
Am I being too harsh to tell my gf to stop doing this thing that makes me very unhappy?
Q. My girlfriend is doing something that is making her happy and while im not happy and she wont quit because she loves doing it but it takes a lot of time out of being together but then she says she loves me more than anything... am i being to harsh ...
A. 15 April 2007: We obviously dont know what it is she is doing that is making you unhappy, but if its something she loves, it would be unfair to ask someone to stop doing it.
My boyfriend is a roadie for bands. He is on tour at least 6 to 8 months of the year. We... (read in full...)
I have this mad crush on him and he's leaving in May. What can I do?
Q. When i Started High School In Year 7 There Was The 1 Lad In Year 8 And I Hated Him I Couldnt Stand Him. ..................................................... Im Now In Year 10 And I Am Truely Crushin on him so Badley He Is All I Think About - He...
A. 15 April 2007: Ok, so you know you have low self asteem. The question is, what are you gonna do about it?... (read in full...)
I had an affair, I really regret it, Im so riddled with guilt and so scared my family will found out!!!!
Q. i need help! i am a married woman and i had an affair with a married man, i just hate myself, and i dont want my husband to find out, it would ruin him, and our kids also the guy i had an affair with has two kids, i would do anything if i could take ...
A. 13 April 2007: Unfortunately the deed has been done. You cant take it back no matter what you do, but you are right, if your husband found out it would hurt him. However if he found out by someone else, it would probably kill him.
You cant continue living w... (read in full...)
Im married with a child and one on the way! I have an attraction to another man what should I do ?
Q. What should I do, feelings for another man I am a married woman with one child and another one on the way. Last year at a party a ex colleague got drunk and told me of his affection for me. I admitted that I had feelings for him as well. We are ...
A. 13 April 2007: The fact that you have a child and another on the way kinda makes things a little difficult. What is your relationship with your husband like? If its good and there arent any "issues", I personally wouldnt recommend breaking up a perfectly good ... (read in full...)
His comment made me think that he's less experienced than I thought and this bothered me! How can I stop thinking this way ?
Q. This is probably going to sound stupid but here goes... I'm an 18 year old virgin and I have been seeing an older guy for a few months now. The other night he fingered me for the first time and it was very good, but afterwards he said "Wow,...
A. 13 April 2007: Firstly the fact that he could possibly be inexperienced should be a good thing. That means that he has morals as far as sleeping around is concerned and obviously thinks long and hard about his sexual partners before he goes ahead with it. You ... (read in full...)
I have this mad crush on him and he's leaving in May. What can I do?
Q. When i Started High School In Year 7 There Was The 1 Lad In Year 8 And I Hated Him I Couldnt Stand Him. ..................................................... Im Now In Year 10 And I Am Truely Crushin on him so Badley He Is All I Think About - He...
A. 13 April 2007: Exactly what I was saying earlier. You have a low self asteem and you are so wrong about people. Dont tar eveyone with the same brush and say that no-one will look twice at you. Some people look at more than just what people look like!... (read in full...)
I have this mad crush on him and he's leaving in May. What can I do?
Q. When i Started High School In Year 7 There Was The 1 Lad In Year 8 And I Hated Him I Couldnt Stand Him. ..................................................... Im Now In Year 10 And I Am Truely Crushin on him so Badley He Is All I Think About - He...
A. 13 April 2007: Firstly why do you care so much about what other people think about you? Its not peoples opinions that count, its what you think and feel!
If you were fat, looked like the swamp thing and had bulging eyes, who cares! That is you, and thats th... (read in full...)
I have this mad crush on him and he's leaving in May. What can I do?
Q. When i Started High School In Year 7 There Was The 1 Lad In Year 8 And I Hated Him I Couldnt Stand Him. ..................................................... Im Now In Year 10 And I Am Truely Crushin on him so Badley He Is All I Think About - He...
A. 11 April 2007: Dont stress about it. I know its easier said than done, but honestly by asking the question you will at least get an answer. Even if its not the one you want to hear, at least you will have an answer and you can get on with things one way or the ... (read in full...)
I have this mad crush on him and he's leaving in May. What can I do?
Q. When i Started High School In Year 7 There Was The 1 Lad In Year 8 And I Hated Him I Couldnt Stand Him. ..................................................... Im Now In Year 10 And I Am Truely Crushin on him so Badley He Is All I Think About - He...
A. 10 April 2007: You're not a wimp, you are just scared that things wont go your way. Make a decision if you definately want to do this and do it. Dont stress about it. If its meant to be, its meant to be.... (read in full...)
I have this mad crush on him and he's leaving in May. What can I do?
Q. When i Started High School In Year 7 There Was The 1 Lad In Year 8 And I Hated Him I Couldnt Stand Him. ..................................................... Im Now In Year 10 And I Am Truely Crushin on him so Badley He Is All I Think About - He...
A. 9 April 2007: Your best bet is to speak to him on a one to one basis. No-one else there. Perhaps that would open him up too. As you say if he left in May its not the end of the world, you would see him again.
It sounds to me like your first real crush. They are... (read in full...)
I have this mad crush on him and he's leaving in May. What can I do?
Q. When i Started High School In Year 7 There Was The 1 Lad In Year 8 And I Hated Him I Couldnt Stand Him. ..................................................... Im Now In Year 10 And I Am Truely Crushin on him so Badley He Is All I Think About - He...
A. 9 April 2007: Tough one!
If you like him, and he is leaving shortly, then you need to act fast. Perhaps you should text him and ask him to meet you somewhere. Somewhere where there will be no friends etc. Then ask him directly if he has any feelings for you,... (read in full...)
Will my guy ever agree to marriage and children? What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I of a year and a half had a conversation last night that I believe will break us up for good. Since I've met him he's been back and forth about ever getting married and having kids one day, he is so scared of this. I told him ...
A. 9 April 2007: Yes it is very possible for him to change his mind.
Up until a year ago or so, I vowed that I would never get married or have children, simply because my career was important to me, and I had so much I wanted to do. So why would I want to have ... (read in full...)
Am I hot or am I not?
Q. Are there any ways to tell if i am hot? Because i think i am (im not gloating) and when people say stuff, not about me, like "he's hot" and "he's fit", i think to myself: a)eww thats just wrong, why are you telling me this and b)well...
A. 9 April 2007: Why bother about what other people think about you? If you think you're hot, well then you're hot.
Who gives a damn about what other people think! You are who you are, and what other people think shouldnt make a difference to that!
I dont ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's brother has been hitting on me behind his back, should I tell him?
Q. Ok. Heres what im going through. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months. It feels like I"ve been with him for longer than that. Well he has a brother who hits on me behind his brothers back. I ignore him and I try to get it through his head that I ...
A. 9 April 2007: Its a catch 22 situation. If you tell your boyfriend, yes he will get angry with his brother and things with his brother will become very tense. However if you keep it to yourself, you need to make his brother 150% aware that he doesnt stand a ... (read in full...)
Sam wants sex, but I don't want to rush it. What should I do?
Q. dear cupid i have been going out with a guy called sam and he wants to have sex i know am ready but i don't want to rush into things what should i do?...
A. 9 April 2007: Your still young. Savour that experience for a time when you are ready to commit to someone that you know is "the one". Your virginity isnt something to hand over to someone willie nillie, so make sure if you're gonna do it, its right.
Tell ... (read in full...)
He said he couldn't afford time off work to go away with me for 2 days yet he can afford 2 weeks off to go away with his family!
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for 3yrs+ this year he suggested goin away and i agreed that it would be a good idea i started researching good deals etc. when i approached him bout deals id found he sed that he was interested and will let me ...
A. 9 April 2007: I know how you feel. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other almost 9 years and we have been away once, and that was 8 years ago.
His excuse isnt that he cant afford it, because he can. He seems to get so worked up that if we go away for... (read in full...)
Was it his ex that called or am I just being paranoid ?
Q. my b/f stopped by my house for easter..about 8:30 or so his cell rings..he answers saying hi whats doing and then says im at so and so place(he said my name) and said i will call you on my way home..(obviously he wasnt going to carry on a convo in ...
A. 9 April 2007: Ypu're paranoid! However if he has lied to you once, it is possible that he could do it again.
It does sound as if it was just a friend though!
If this is bugging you that much, just ask him directly! If you have a good relationship, he... (read in full...)
I get night-time erections!
Q. as soon as i fall asleep i get an erection until i wake up in the morning! why is this? how can i stop this? i'm 16....
A. 9 April 2007: Congratulations! You are a normal warm blooded male!
Nothing to be ashamed of, just means you're becoming a young man!... (read in full...)
Is it possible to catch any kind of STI/STD by giving a man a blowjob?
Q. Is it possible to catch any kind of STI/STD by giving a man a blowjob?...
A. 9 April 2007: Absolutely! There are loads of STI/STD's that can be caught by giving oral sex. The main one being a form of herpes!
If you think that you have any kind of STI/STD in your mouth, go straight to your local GP or an STD clinic that are run. An oral ... (read in full...)
Together 16 yrs, shes been battling with depression and now says she doesnt love me! Please help I dont want to lose her!!
Q. Please help I have been with my partner for 16 years and 5 wonderful children unfortunatly I have been jealous and controlling over the years and over the past 6 months my partner has been getting counselling for depression 2 weeks ago she decided ...
A. 9 April 2007: Jon, if she was considering coming over, it means that there is perhaps the chance of reconciliation. But give her some space! She is obviously crying out for a little space and you are, suffocating her. Perhaps you dont mean to becauce you love ... (read in full...)
My past has caught up with me, and I have real issues with intimacy, would counselling help after all this time ?
Q. I am just coming to an end of a complicated breakup in which I have finally realised I have made some huge mistakes but also that I have some personal problems relating to intimacy with other people. This originates from a period when I was alot ...
A. 6 April 2007: Being a victim of sexual abuse by someone I trusted, I can confirm that your feelings are 100% normal. However I went through 5 years of counselling, and even then I had a hard road ahead of me.
For a number of years I couldnt have a real relation... (read in full...)
Together 16 yrs, shes been battling with depression and now says she doesnt love me! Please help I dont want to lose her!!
Q. Please help I have been with my partner for 16 years and 5 wonderful children unfortunatly I have been jealous and controlling over the years and over the past 6 months my partner has been getting counselling for depression 2 weeks ago she decided ...
A. 6 April 2007: I know how you feel because I have been in the same situation. My boyfriend suffers from clinical depression, and when he is in that state of mind, trying to get any sense out of him is like trying to pull hens teeth. I can honestly say that I could ... (read in full...)
What are his rights to his son?
Q. I am living with my boyfriend of 6 years and we have a 1 year old son. My partner is a French national and I am British, our son was born in the UK and has a British Passport. Our relationship has been on and off for years and we virtually stopped ...
A. 5 April 2007: My sister has just been through this process since her husband in South African and she is a British National.
Since the children are british nationals your partner cannot take them out of the country without the concent of the mother.
What yo... (read in full...)
Very uncomfortable with this female friend of his--she still sends him sexy pics! What can I do?
Q. I recently got married to a man I love very much. Our relationship is good and he makes me feel better about myself than any other man has. We've been together a year. He has a female friend that he talks to and texts on his phone though that he ...
A. 5 April 2007: Your husband seems to have an issue with respect.
Although I think there probably isnt anything going on between them, and perhaps they are just friends, but if you have specifically asked him not to carry on as he is, and he is continui... (read in full...)
How do you feel about your significant other keeping in touch or remaining friends with a long-term ex?
Q. Question: How do you feel about your significant other keeping in touch or remaining friends with a long-term ex? ...
A. 5 April 2007: Personally I dont have a problem with it. My boyfriend still has contact with his ex whom he was engaged to, and to be perfectly honest its great.
He see's what he had and what he has now. So he knows what a good choice he made. Thats the way I se... (read in full...)
His ex gf will be at a friends wedding and I don't want us to go! Am I being unreasonable?
Q. My husband's friend is getting married. They live in his home state which we do not live in. They called to let him know when it is. We are in the military and it's hard to find time for leave to do stuff like that. He acknowledged this to them over ...
A. 5 April 2007: I understand exactly what you mean, and it seems silly but that saying "if you let him go and he comes back, he's yours" is really true.
If you want him to be with you, for you, and not just because he "ended up with you", then you need to give ... (read in full...)
His ex gf and her new guy have threatened to beat us up! I am scared..what should I do?
Q. i will soon be getting back with my boyfriend and his ex girlfriend has text him telling him that she has chucked his stuff out and she text back and called her a slag now her new boyfriend is going to batter him. i am scared that i am going to get ...
A. 4 April 2007: Just a thought but have you considered giving your local constabulary a call to ask what can be done? Trust me they can be quite helpful in situations like this. Dont presume that they wont do anything!
Even if its from a point that you advise t... (read in full...)
His ex gf will be at a friends wedding and I don't want us to go! Am I being unreasonable?
Q. My husband's friend is getting married. They live in his home state which we do not live in. They called to let him know when it is. We are in the military and it's hard to find time for leave to do stuff like that. He acknowledged this to them over ...
A. 4 April 2007: Well your feelings are perfectly normal, so you're not being silly or anything.
As much as it hurts you, you need to let him do this. If for anything, it could give him closure. If your relationship is as strong as you think it is, then him seei... (read in full...)
Her bf doesn't love her but won't let her go. What should I advise her, on how to deal with this?
Q. Hello, my boyfriends sister has been seeing this guy for 18 months, he tells her, he doesn’t love her anymore yet wont break up with her, and only see’s her once a week, the rest of the time he’s out with his friends. I’ve told her to break up ...
A. 4 April 2007: If someone doesnt have strong feelings for someone, or love them, its not a relationship. If he is telling her that he doesnt love her, that means there's NO relationship.
If he's still coming over, once a week, the chances are he is having h... (read in full...)
My partner is still living with his ex, she thinks Im the reason they broke up, and is unaware there is no chance of a reconcile! Should I tell her ?
Q. My partner is still living with his ex girlfriend. He told me a while ago that their relationship was dead and once he had told her we started to become close again. He won't kick her out but is prepared to let her stay as long as she wants until ...
A. 4 April 2007: If this guy is in love with you, and wants a relationship with you, then he shouldnt be keeping your relationship a secret.
At the end of the day, you and he both know that your relationship was not the end to their relationship, so what anyone e... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and really want to have sex with my 21 yr old boyfriend!!
Q. hi, im 14 years old and i have a 21 year old boyfriend, i see him all the time and i love him alot. its not really a problem though cause if i didnt want to see him i would of told him to **** off. anyways, my friend has been to his house with me,...
A. 4 April 2007: The first thing that comes to mind is "Jail". If you and he have sex, since you are a minor, he could go straight to jail. If you care so much about him, then you'll do the sensible thing and wait till you are no longer a minor.
There are too many... (read in full...)
My partner is depressed and getting angry and emotional!!
Q. dear agony aunts, My boyfriend and i have been together for 2 and a half years and have a 3 month old baby together, however. We have recently been having problems because my partner is depressed because of things he has on his mind. He gets a...
A. 1 April 2007: Firstly depression is a serious illness and he needs to get for it, NOW!
Secondly, whilst he is in this state of mind, with or without a drink in him, do you really want him around your child? I'd think not!
If he is depressed because of thing... (read in full...)
He says he wants me to have sex with another man! I am shocked..should I dump him?
Q. Me and my boyfriend were discussing our sexual likings and leanings a few weeks ago. The usual things were discussed - but I was shocked when he said that I should sleep with another man. I asked him if I'd heard him correctly, and he said...
A. 1 April 2007: I can understand why you would take offense as personally I would too.
He may be a decent guy, but if you dont want to do it, then dont do it. I cant think of any logical reason for someone wanting their partner to have sex with another other th... (read in full...)
Im a teenager. Is it normal for me to be attracted to both sexes?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts. Im a teenager. Is it normal for me to be attracted to both sexes?Thanks for your help....
A. 1 April 2007: I dont believe that anyone that is attracted to both sexes as a teenager is abnormal. There has been a number of tests done at various universities stating that being attracted to both sexes at a young age is normal. They state that more than 50% of ... (read in full...)
Been in a relationship long distance, shes talking of moving to England to give us a go, but Im not sure shes the one yet!!
Q. I've been in a long distance relationship for three years (we're talking 8000 miles), seeing each other every couple of months, and lived with my girlfirend for a year before that. She wants to quit her promising job and move to England very soon to ...
A. 1 April 2007: Life is full of risk taking opportunities. How will you know if she is or isnt the one unless you give it a go?
She is prepared to make the big sacrifice of giving up her job and life whereever she is. She obviously thinks you stand a chance o... (read in full...)
My ex is upset, my friend is upset, how do I fix things?
Q. So, me and my ex were texting each other...things were going great...we were joking around and then he said, "hey, well my sister told me that she found out that I fingered you." And then I freaked out because his sister is my friend...and now ...
A. 1 April 2007: Good for you! Just see where it ends up, thats all you can do. ... (read in full...)
We are married but have been living apart for 4 years, and no sex for 3 years, does he still love me!?
Q. I'm confused. I love my husband but I'm not sure if he loves me anymore. He prefers we live apart because he says at the moment we can't afford to live together. we have a child together but I have be like a single parent. I want a divorce but...
A. 30 March 2007: You have many people here that care about you, so dont ever think you are alone. We are only a short message away. I hope all works out well and hope that he can see sense and what he is missing over here.
Chin up and stand tall!... (read in full...)
We are married but have been living apart for 4 years, and no sex for 3 years, does he still love me!?
Q. I'm confused. I love my husband but I'm not sure if he loves me anymore. He prefers we live apart because he says at the moment we can't afford to live together. we have a child together but I have be like a single parent. I want a divorce but...
A. 30 March 2007: From first hand experience, leaving ones country and moving somewhere foreign, I understand both sides.
I left South Africa on my own, had a friend of friend to stay with as a temporary measure. Had to find work immediately as I didnt bring mu... (read in full...)
I found him with a prostitute! 12 Months on I still cant forgive!
Q. hi, what do i do, i have been married for 16 years, together for 20, we have a 10 year daughter and 1 year old son, when our son was 2 months i found out my husband had visited a prostitute for oral sex whilst i was pregnant. eventually it came out...
A. 30 March 2007: I can sympathise as I found my ex in bed with another woman many years ago. After that, that was the end.
You have obviously been through a lot with this man, and must love him to some degree to stay with him all this time.
I am not a forgivi... (read in full...)
We are married but have been living apart for 4 years, and no sex for 3 years, does he still love me!?
Q. I'm confused. I love my husband but I'm not sure if he loves me anymore. He prefers we live apart because he says at the moment we can't afford to live together. we have a child together but I have be like a single parent. I want a divorce but...
A. 30 March 2007: I have got to agree with Eve. What the hell are you waiting for? Waiting for him to perhaps make the decision to come back or maybe not. There are a lot of maybe's and its not healthy for a woman of your age to be waiting on a man that obviously has ... (read in full...)
The pregnancy test showed two lines really faintly! Im 9 days late, could I be pregnant!?
Q. I had unprotected sex two weeks ago, I am nauseous, I smell everything, by breast are a little bigger but not sore. My period is 9 days late. I took pregnancy test a very very faint line makes me question if it is really there, but when I held it ...
A. 30 March 2007: The best pregnancy test is a blood test. It doesnt lie! However those home pregnancy tests can sometimes be wrong. I know, because 9 years ago, my test was positive, and when I blood tests done, I wasnt pregnant.
Go get it checked today!... (read in full...)
My ex is upset, my friend is upset, how do I fix things?
Q. So, me and my ex were texting each other...things were going great...we were joking around and then he said, "hey, well my sister told me that she found out that I fingered you." And then I freaked out because his sister is my friend...and now ...
A. 30 March 2007: You are right, if it happened in the past, it should stay there.
The fact that your friend, his sister, is upset should be set aside for the moment. However, how she found out should be investigated. Any form of sexual contact between two conc... (read in full...)
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