| Latest articles: Online dating guide - with really good advice for you
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 June 2014: So why use Internet Dating? Over the last few years Internet Datings popularity has soared! There are now millions of us looking for love, romance and friendship online. Like so many aspects of life - shopping, banking, communicating with frie...
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My ex's mum messaged me and I'm not sure if or how I should respond!
Q. Today my ex's mother has facebook messaged me. It is the first time I have heard from her, and I was relatively close to his family, so am not sure whether to respond or how. The message was nice, she was sorry to hear about us breaking up, she ...
A. 7 May 2014: I agree with anonymous 123...it may be an attempt to get you and her son back together or she may be under pressure from her son to find out your business. Does seem a bit odd to be honest. Clearly he was unable to accept the situation and acted In ... (read in full...)
What type of condom do you recommend for the first time?
Q. Hi! So I am a virgin currently. My boyfriend and I are planning to have sex. I'm a virgin and he isn't. My question is: What type of condom do you recommend for my first time? He wants to use fire and ice but I'm not so sure since if it hur...
A. 7 May 2014: I would stick to "Extra Safe" condoms. Other types can give less protection, although of course should all come certified to relevant standards. Not all condoms are spermicidally lubricated, generally extra safe are. This reduces the risk of ... (read in full...)
I like two guys, what to do?
Q. I am a 20 year old female. I am currently seeing two guys, one is a boyfriend of almost 2 years and the other I met a few months ago. The reason I have a second guy is because it has been getting stale with my boyfriend in recent months, and ...
A. 6 May 2014: You clearly want the best of both words and are making poor excuse for your selfish, hurtful behaviour. "I was thinking to let it 'ride out' with both, and see who is still there at the end of it all when I return from abroad." What a childish ... (read in full...)
How do I give her support? My friend has been her Bf for month. Now he wants to spend his Birthday with his guy friends, not her
Q. hi, please please tell me what i should do? A friend of mine have been dating with her bf for 1 month. On this friday it will be her bf's birthday, and her bf said that he doesn't want to go any where with her, but instead wants to go with the...
A. 6 May 2014: Your friends has been with her Bf for a month. It realistically not going to be as serious relationship after such as short space of time, although I can understand that it can seem that way to your friend. Its sounds as if her BF simply wants to ... (read in full...)
'I was hurting for so long that after a while I became numb to the pain'... what does that mean?
Q. What does it mean when an ex says to you 'I was hurting for so long that after a while I became numb to the pain? - This was in reference to a conversation about our break up just before christmas, it was awful since I was in a bad place and didn't ...
A. 6 May 2014: Its when a person is hurt so much, so often to the point where it becomes "normal" to them. Or even see a day when that pain is a little less than usual as being "happy".
To be honest if it needs explaining, especially as you were in the relation... (read in full...)
I am not a needy person but I feel like I need an explanation. HELP!
Q. Hi all, just looking for a bit of advice on this one as myself and all my close friends are stumped! Basically I met this guy last summer and we were meeting for about 2 months. He initiated everything but he told me that he had literally just ...
A. 5 May 2014: He sounds like he blows hot and cold. Either way I would be wary of this guy. You don't want to get drawn in again and end up being hurt. Sounds as if he got back in touch because he was down and needed a boost. Now he is back into the shadows... (read in full...)
My fiancee didn't tell me that he's frequenting these so called massage places where prostitution is involved!
Q. I need help. My fiancee didn't tell me that he is frequenting these so called massage places where prostitution is going on. I am devastated. He says that he went there for relaxation but i can't see how going to prostitutes is a form of relaxation. ...
A. 5 May 2014: They are brothels OP! Sorry but "massage parlours" are a legal name for brothels. It so that should the police enquire as to the prostitution the owner says "the blokes pay for a massage mate, anything else that happens (ie sex) is not paid for ... (read in full...)
Is this age difference morally wrong?
Q. Big question. Is it morally wrong to date a guy this young? I'm 22 almost 23, seeing a guy who is 17 almost 18. (We live in Texas so he's legal age of consent). He is wonderful to me, spends all his time with me, shows public displays of affection ...
A. 5 May 2014: In response to Fi The Tree... "I just think it's inconsiderate to make assumptions based on what little information we have regarding OP's boyfriend." Erm...then how do I answer the question? I have to generalize as I don't know the g... (read in full...)
Is this age difference morally wrong?
Q. Big question. Is it morally wrong to date a guy this young? I'm 22 almost 23, seeing a guy who is 17 almost 18. (We live in Texas so he's legal age of consent). He is wonderful to me, spends all his time with me, shows public displays of affection ...
A. 5 May 2014: 22-23 year old lads date younger girls for a reason. Usually those lads are immature, more likely to impress an impressionable, inexperienced girl than a woman there own age and like a hot young body of about 17. Plus girls of 17 can wear heels, ... (read in full...)
My fiancee didn't tell me that he's frequenting these so called massage places where prostitution is involved!
Q. I need help. My fiancee didn't tell me that he is frequenting these so called massage places where prostitution is going on. I am devastated. He says that he went there for relaxation but i can't see how going to prostitutes is a form of relaxation. ...
A. 5 May 2014: OP do you really think if you contact the woman she is going to say "Oh yeah you fella paid me for sex, called me a bitch and cum on my breasts?" I think not!
Everyone has the right to privacy in such matters in that respect plus whos going to... (read in full...)
Fed up with always being there for others?
Q. I am fed up of being a responsible person. I am so lonely and starved of support myself and have become sick to death of people sucking my blood for support. I am the type of person who doesn't brag about how successful I am at being independent and ...
A. 5 May 2014: SIMPLE - learn to say no!!! Seriously that is it. If you don't ever say no then people will see you as Mrs Yes and keep asking for more. The more you give the more people expect. All you need to say to your friend is "Im so grateful you th... (read in full...)
Is this age difference morally wrong?
Q. Big question. Is it morally wrong to date a guy this young? I'm 22 almost 23, seeing a guy who is 17 almost 18. (We live in Texas so he's legal age of consent). He is wonderful to me, spends all his time with me, shows public displays of affection ...
A. 5 May 2014: To be honest I think the age gap is an issue. Legally there si no wrong doing of course and you are not a child molester but at the risk of sounding slighty pedantic he is 17 and therefor a child. You are a woman in your twenties and an adult.
... (read in full...)
I went out with this guy I have a crush on but I couldn't eat anything because I was so nervous!
Q. Ok, so I feel like a total idiot after this, but I met this really nice guy a while ago, and seemed to sort of hit it off, I can actually say that I have small feelings for him. We decided to meet up. We were going to hang out earlier in the day, ...
A. 5 May 2014: Okay so the date didn't go too well (to be honest sounds like some of my dates when I was younger) but dating when your young is all about gaining experience and confidence. Most of us have tales to tell of bad dates, embarrassing setbacks and mak... (read in full...)
Guys ... Have you ever seen a woman and been so turned on that you felt the need to go and relieve yourself?
Q. A question for the guys ... Have you ever seen a woman and been so turned on that you felt the need to go and relieve yourself .... I ask because my bf said he did this before we were together . He saw a very sexy woman one day out and said he went ...
A. 4 May 2014: Bit weird. Maybe if he was about 16 and pumped up with hormones, but if he's in a stable, sexual relationship and is a grown man...!
... (read in full...)
My fiancee didn't tell me that he's frequenting these so called massage places where prostitution is involved!
Q. I need help. My fiancee didn't tell me that he is frequenting these so called massage places where prostitution is going on. I am devastated. He says that he went there for relaxation but i can't see how going to prostitutes is a form of relaxation. ...
A. 4 May 2014: Dump him. Why would you want to continue to have a relationship with a man who pays other women to touch him, stroke his body and god knows what? How do you know he isn't having full sex? Even if he isn't this isn't like visiting a health spa and ... (read in full...)
Afraid of sex -- is this normal?
Q. Dear all, My problem is that I find sex to be a dirty thing Its difficult for me to imagine some one enter his private parts in mine or me licking some ones private parts I do watch porn But enjoy only till kissing or basically seeing coupl...
A. 4 May 2014: assuming you have not had any kind of sexual abuse or anything previously, it may simply be the case of not being familiar with sex and sexuality up till this point. It perfectly normal. Some people loose there virginity at the drop of a hat, to ... (read in full...)
Has "nice guy" become a derogatory term?
Q. It seems like when you call someone a "nice guy" it seems as if it has some sort of negative connotation to it as if it is synonymous with loser, wimp, geek/nerd, pushover etc. basically anything that would be viewed as unattractive to the opposite ...
A. 4 May 2014: To add to my previous response, I agree completely with Cindy Cares.
However I am often surprised and a little disheartened why so many women pass over the "Nice Guy" guy who wants a medal for having a steady job, being sensible with his alcohol ... (read in full...)
He is giving me mixed signals what should I do?
Q. I fell in love with this guy I know he had feelings for me We used to work together he's extremely popular and everyone likes him please don't judge but we got close and kissed he's been living with a girl for 6 years and he said after we kis...
A. 4 May 2014: "he's extremely popular and everyone likes him" Everyone loves my brother, thinks he is amazing and everywhere I go people stop me in the street to gush about how proud I must be to have such an incredible "sensitive" brother... Erm no actually... (read in full...)
He has bipolar, and sometimes I feel more like a caregiver than a girlfriend
Q. I posted this on another thread. I was replying to someone else who had posted about their problem, and I thought I would start a thread about my own problem. I'm not sure what to do about this situation with him, and I would appreciate some ...
A. 4 May 2014: "I worry that when he becomes homeless, he will end up In a bad way again." Sorry OP but he is already at that point. Big time! "Is there something I could have done to stop (him being evicted)?" Sure - you could have paid a fortune you have... (read in full...)
He has bipolar, and sometimes I feel more like a caregiver than a girlfriend
Q. I posted this on another thread. I was replying to someone else who had posted about their problem, and I thought I would start a thread about my own problem. I'm not sure what to do about this situation with him, and I would appreciate some ...
A. 3 May 2014: The fact that your family are scared by his Bipolar should really tell you all you need to know about your boyfriends problem. If they are frightened, there must be good reason. You should be concerned of the danger you are pointing yourself in.
... (read in full...)
Do I need to tell everyone my news?
Q. Hi I moved countries and eventually settled down with a boyfriend and now expecting my first baby. I kept in touch with most of my friends and family back home and I told good friends that i'm pregnant however I did not say it to a few. Th...
A. 3 May 2014: Hi congratulations on your good news. Well you've told me and several thousand people on this site of your pregnancy, so what harm a few more eh? Seriously, who you tell is entirely up to you. It is your news, your personal info and it is entire... (read in full...)
The information this man gave me about his past has made me uncomfortable. Should I keep dating him?
Q. Is this weird? I started dating a man, and we've been on a few dates, I'm still getting to know him. But during the last date he told me that he had been previously engaged to a woman he had dated for almost ten years since he met her in colle...
A. 3 May 2014: Is his name Norman by any chance??... (read in full...)
Has "nice guy" become a derogatory term?
Q. It seems like when you call someone a "nice guy" it seems as if it has some sort of negative connotation to it as if it is synonymous with loser, wimp, geek/nerd, pushover etc. basically anything that would be viewed as unattractive to the opposite ...
A. 3 May 2014: It took me far too long to realise the difference between being a nice guy and a "Nice Guy".
Someone who is a nice guy lets others find out for themselves how kind, genuine, pleasant and thoughtful they are. "Nice Guys" are people (and I used to ... (read in full...)
I've been lying for years telling people I was 10 years younger than I am! Now I can't talk to people about things because they don't understand why I would worry!
Q. I am 34 and I have been lying about my age for nearly 10yrs. I don't know why I first started doing it, I just did and have carried on since. I live in a different country to where I grew up so it technically wasn't easy to do. Then I started dating ...
A. 3 May 2014: Hi Op,
Your follow up to my original response makes sense now. Yes its a cruel industry where women over a certain age are no longer considered for shoots. But I think you need to accept that the time has come for a change of career now, rather t... (read in full...)
I've been lying for years telling people I was 10 years younger than I am! Now I can't talk to people about things because they don't understand why I would worry!
Q. I am 34 and I have been lying about my age for nearly 10yrs. I don't know why I first started doing it, I just did and have carried on since. I live in a different country to where I grew up so it technically wasn't easy to do. Then I started dating ...
A. 2 May 2014: Firstly a lot of women lie about there age. Some men do it too. In a general sense its not too much of an issue. Im 36 but nobody is going to treat me differently if I said I was 38 or 33. But once one is a full grown man or woman its less of an is... (read in full...)
Could an attractive real woman make a guy less interested in porn?
Q. Right here is a question I possibly know the answer to. Lets say a guy likes a lot of porn, glamour mags, sexy photos etc. is here any way him finding a real woman who is attractive in looks and personality can change this or at least lessen it? ...
A. 2 May 2014: Porn is like alcohol, going to the gym or playing a video game...there's a healthy medium between enjoying a gym session twice a week, and being an obsessed gym addict. Playing an online console game a couple of nights a week is fine if you have ... (read in full...)
I'm shy, would working with children be alright for a job?
Q. I am a shy person. Would working with children be right for me ?. I am on Jobseeker's Allowance. My advisor at the Jobcentre has said that I need to do some voluntary work. She has put me forward for a voluntary job at a Youth Club where children ...
A. 2 May 2014: OP what is your work history? What have you done preciously and what work are you looking for?... (read in full...)
Do women think the key to attracting men is to dress like sluts?
Q. Hi this question is not specific to one specific relationship but more on a general level, in my effort to meet someone. I'm curious about why when going out on say a Friday or Saturday night, young (and not so young) women feel the need to dress ...
A. 2 May 2014: Put simply your going to the wrong places. Rowdy bars/clubs at weekends does tend to attract people wanting to either get laid, get drunk, lark about with mates or dance around competing with others for attention. Of course that's not all of the ... (read in full...)
I sort of want out of this LDR but I just can't get myself to do it.
Q. I am in a long distance relationship with a guy from another country. We have been talking for over 7 years but only dating for a little less than one. I love this guy. He's charming and a total sweetheart. That said, I am constantly at wa...
A. 2 May 2014: To be honest I think you need a bit of a reality check. This is not a relationship. Is basically a virtual one. You are living in two different countries, communicating via electronic means and, for the year you have been in this situation, have had ... (read in full...)
My friends tell me I should give my boyfriend a BJ
Q. A lot of my friends are wanting me to give my boyfriend a blowjob, and he agreed to wanting me too when i asked. But i feel like we are kind of young for this to be happening. My friends said it was okay because we have been dating for 6 months, but ...
A. 2 May 2014: So imaging if you do give your boyfriend a blow job - Then what happens? You tell your friends who then tell the world and before you know it everyone knows you as the kid that gave X a blow job. Not a nice situation to be in kid.
What if a blo... (read in full...)
Is my online date a bit weird?
Q. I've been chatting to a 45 year old guy online who was keen to meet new friends and go dating. I was going to meet him at the weekend and we've been chatting for a week. He works from home and is also renovating his place. He boils up batches of ...
A. 2 May 2014: Hi there, if you decide not to meet him what have you lost? NOTHING! you have never actually met his guy so there is no emotional attachment as such as you don't even know him, only what he has said on line. You have chatted to someone for a week ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid he's going to go running back to his single life!
Q. Hi everyone, A little advice needed. Me and my boyfriend were together for four years when my parents announced they were moving to a different country for my dads work. I had the option of staying or going with them. After much consideration I ...
A. 1 May 2014: "There's a part of me that thinks if I had returned and not contacted him that he wouldn't of contacted me either." See this from his perspective...after a few years of being together you told him you were leaving him for pastures new. Goodbye. He... (read in full...)
Is it weird that my boyfriend of a year and a half had pictures of him and his ex girlfriends on a hard drive that he bought after we started going out?
Q. I'm keeping my question short and sweet really. Is it weird that my boyfriend of a year and a half had pictures of him and his ex girlfriends on a hard drive that he bought after we started going out? Bearing in mind he's been broken up with o...
A. 1 May 2014: I do a lot of photography: mainly trains, cars, wildlife and of course my family. On my Hard drives are approx 30k images taken over a ten year period which includes pics of my ex's. When I back up to a new hard drive. (one should ALWAYS back up any ... (read in full...)
Shouldn't people be more honest on online dating sites or do I expect too much?
Q. After a long break from online dating, I recently re activated my account. Maybe out of boredom, I don't know. I am making new friends and trying to meet people that way, but making no progress in finding available men. So I starting exchang...
A. 30 April 2014: Ive heard so many stories of people (both sexes) claiming to be six foot tall, successful, athletic, independent, solvent, etc only to be five foot five, blading, fat, broke and so forth in real life.
Yes your right people should be more honest b... (read in full...)
He was rough during sex and I bled from it. How do I bring this up?
Q. I met this guy and we slept together but he was quite rough and I bled, I know why I bled, it's because I only lost my virginity a few months ago and I've only had sex twice since. He doesn't know this and assumed I was just coming on my period, how ...
A. 30 April 2014: Find yourself a more considerate partner. He should only be rough if you allow it. If he makes you bleed then he is inconsiderate. He doesn't need to know that you are inexperienced, just make it clear that its unacceptable. ... (read in full...)
Should I reach out to this guy?
Q. So I met a guy on a dating site a few weeks ago. He messaged me first and we talked for a little bit. Turns out, we have a lot in common and he is honestly what I am looking for in a man- good looking, smart, successful, down to earth, athletic, ...
A. 30 April 2014: Realistically 60 miles is a long way. Why is he chatting to someone so far away on a dating site? Thats a red flag: Married maybe? Doesn't want to get caught on his own patch? Scared of commitment? Either way it sounds like he was just interested in ... (read in full...)
He is never there for me
Q. Dear Cupids, I have been in a relationship for three and a half years with a guy I met in high school. I am currently in my second year of college while he opted not to go to college. I have school and a part time job while he has been around u...
A. 30 April 2014: You have both matured into two different people. Maybe you were compatible and on the same page when you both met, but now you are taking on responsibilities and looking at the bigger picture, he is hanging about with mates and not bothering with ... (read in full...)
How much does porn influence a mans expectations of how a woman should look naked?
Q. Ok please help aunts and uncles .... I'm single and ready to date again after a lengthy marriage. I have met a few guys but one really nice one and I'm pretty sure things will become physical soon I'm just a little worried thought as I know he has...
A. 30 April 2014: Anyone with any maturity and common sense can see past the fakery that is porn...all that "oh baby! its so good baby! oh yeah baby!..." is so fake and tacky! I use porn but I know the difference between real life and fake nonsence. After making love ... (read in full...)
How to tell if she's only dating you for the money?
Q. There are some things worrying me about my girlfriend. At first, things were great and I never really had to spend much. Lately, the more I shell out, the more she expects it and doesn't really say thank you. I take her out all the time, we go ...
A. 30 April 2014: To be honest I think you are part of the problem ;-) Buying her gifts, splashing your cash and being too willing to please her with presents has left you an easy target for manipulation.
This girl is a selfish user. Keep your money to yourself... (read in full...)
I'm a shy, quiet person and wonder what volunteer or other opportunities I should explore?
Q. I am on Jobseeker's Allowance, which are benefits that we have here in the UK. I get these benefits from the jobcentre. I have been told my advisor at the jobcentre that I have to do some voluntary work soon. She said that I can choose where to ...
A. 30 April 2014: My reply has come out mixed up so probably reads wrong!... (read in full...)
Should I keep trying with this guy who says we are "friends with benefits", or let it fade away?
Q. Okay, There's this guy I've known for about 4 years but we only recently started talking properly. I like him but he's a flirt so I don't know if I'm special or if he's like this with everyone. About a month ago, he dared me to kiss him so I did...
A. 30 April 2014: He has made it clear - he wants just sex. "friends with benefits" is not a friendship. Its about two people having sex as and when it suits. If you only want sex too and think you can keep your feelings in check then that's fine, each to there ow... (read in full...)
I'm a shy, quiet person and wonder what volunteer or other opportunities I should explore?
Q. I am on Jobseeker's Allowance, which are benefits that we have here in the UK. I get these benefits from the jobcentre. I have been told my advisor at the jobcentre that I have to do some voluntary work soon. She said that I can choose where to ...
A. 30 April 2014: As someone who lives in the UK, works as a volunteer and used to work at a Jobcentre I can clarify a few points for those unfamiliar with Job Seekers Allowance... Job Seekers Allowance (JSA) is a financial benefit paid to people who are unemploy... (read in full...)
How much does porn influence a mans expectations of how a woman should look naked?
Q. Ok please help aunts and uncles .... I'm single and ready to date again after a lengthy marriage. I have met a few guys but one really nice one and I'm pretty sure things will become physical soon I'm just a little worried thought as I know he has...
A. 30 April 2014: Men don't usually use to porn to compare a womans body with there real life partner. They watch porn to get turned on by the sex acts. Some men watch porn with ugly, fat or old women that they would never sleep with in reality. Some men enjoy porn ... (read in full...)
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