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*ark1978

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Latest articles:

Online dating guide - with really good advice for you

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

28 June 2014: So why use Internet Dating? Over the last few years Internet Datings popularity has soared! There are now millions of us looking for love, romance and friendship online. Like so many aspects of life - shopping, banking, communicating with frie...

< Prev345678910111213Next > [15 pages, 575 answers]

He seems awfully close to his ex

Q.   So I've been dating this guy for a month almost to. Him and his ex just recently broke up. And he's still friends with her. They talk every single day and all day! Even when he's with me sometimes. They dated for over a year and lived together. ...

A.   18 June 2014: You are his play thing while he tries to get back with his ex. Ditch this looser right now as he is making a fool of you. He is sleeping in the same bed with another woman and you are questioning what's happening? If they cuddled then slept in the ... (read in full...)

How can I accept being ugly?

Q.   How can I accept being ugly? I'm too old to be wondering this. But I'm ugly, as a kid I felt awkward about my appearance and high school was hell with all the bullying. There are things I can change, like lose a little weight, take care of my ...

A.   17 June 2014: You don't need to change your looks, only your perception. I am not going to insult your intelligence and claim that being beautiful doesn't open doors. It does. I have a female friend who, as well as being a nice person, is incredibly beautifu... (read in full...)

She's in love with me but she's interfering with my studies, what should I do?

Q.   my question is not any complicated I just want to know was I right or wrong...so let me first tell you about my life....I am a student and I am not ready for any kind of relationship and there is a girl whim I met in social networking website who is ...

A.   17 June 2014: Okay, deep breath. You are under no obligation to see anyone, stay with anyone or do something you don't want to just because she is in love with you. You don't have to give up your studies or be distracted from them if you don't want to. If y... (read in full...)

Is love possible between a 20 year old male and a 16 year old girl?

Q.   Is love possible with a 20year male and 16year girl? Will girls tend to change after they attain 18years/maturity? Does she still have love with a person whom after falling in love didnt talk to her for a month?...

A.   17 June 2014: Greetings, If you are a grown man of 20, an adult, why would you want a relationship with a child of 16? Here in the UK the age of sexual consent is 16, but even so, personally I don't think its right or appropriate for a man in his twenties... (read in full...)

Wondering about the "swinging" lifestyle

Q.   My wife told me one of her friends recently confided in her that she and her husband have been visiting swingers clubs over the past few months. It started off with her fantasies to have two men at once, but since then has escalated and both of them ...

A.   17 June 2014: Normally swingers either have their marriage torn apart by it sooner or later OR survive it because they have a marriage which is based more on the physical than emotional. Women usually find it hard not to develop feelings for someone the are ... (read in full...)

Men, how much do you notice and/or care about saggy breasts?

Q.   I'm very close to moving to the next stage of a relationships and getting physical with a man who I have been seeing. I am quite worried though about my breasts which are quite saggy after having fed four children. So honestly men, how much do ...

A.   16 June 2014: I would be less concerned with your boobs and more bothered by your boyfriends "WOW's" at women's breasts while watching movies. That's adolescent and hardly the kind of thing a man should be saying in front of his girlfriend! Mark... (read in full...)

I'm worried I can't compete with her ex who just bought her a car

Q.   This is probably gonna be a long story, but here goes: I recently graduated from college and moved back to my hometown. Between having a full-time job and not having many friends that still live here anymore, I decided to make an effort to date u...

A.   16 June 2014: You don't make it clear what her reaction was to him buying her the car. Did she accept or decline and run like hell? You say you do so much for her as your care about her...does that include buying her things? Mark... (read in full...)

Gambler lies about gambling, what else is he lying about?

Q.   My husband travels and has a gambling issue. I've already took out a 70000 second mortgage to pay off his credit cars before we were married. After we were married he continued to gamble several thousands dollars of our money. He said he was ...

A.   16 June 2014: WOW he told YOU to get councelling? Seriously?! Maybe its your fault for "forcing" him to gamble? Maybe you upset him so he had to spend some cash to feel better? Oh and let me guess, those nasty call girls put their card in his pockets? This ... (read in full...)

I'm utterly ashamed of my drunken behavior in front of my ex and his girlfriend!

Q.   Im so ashamed and embaressed. So lastnight I went to a friends birthday party. My ex from a very long time ago was there. I had drunk quite alot and I was flirting outrageously with him. Then later on in the night his girlfriend arrives. I did not ...

A.   15 June 2014: Hi, I agree that you are getting too old for this now. I've had friends in similar situations at social gatherings when we were in our early 30s and it feels a bit awkward to be honest, especially as everyone else was being mature and sensible... (read in full...)

I was stood up - was it necessary?

Q.   Hi everyone! I recently met a guy online and we'd been chatting for awhile. He seemed genuine and asked me to meet up with him on Sunday (last weekend). He took my number and said he'd be in touch. We arranged to meet in my town and I messaged h...

A.   15 June 2014: I have had the same experience when I have used online dating. Its part of the trials and tribulations i'm afraid. Sounds like he has either met someone else, changed his mind, or whatever, and didn't have the balls to tell you. Rude, pathetic... (read in full...)

I've fallen for a guy twice my age.

Q.   Me and a Co worker. Apart from him kissing me on the cheek at a party, a long lasting hug and teaseful poking and podging or hitting thats our physical interaction. A year and a half, he became my friend and i trusted him alot. we fell out as i to...

A.   15 June 2014: Hello, You need to learn that its never a good idea to get involved with married men who you work with. Never. Especially if they are a lot older than you. You also need to appreciate that in most work places there is at least one guy of middle a... (read in full...)

I struggle to form friendships, even though I am friendly!

Q.   Why am I struggling to form friendships? I message people and try to make arrangements but people don't really bother with me. I asked someone if she would like to meet up and she said it would be lovely to, so I told her to let me know when she...

A.   15 June 2014: Maybe you are coming across as being a bit needy and desperate for friends? Perhaps you need to allow friendships to grow naturally rather than push to arrange things a little too soon? Maybe you are so intent on forming friendships that you are ... (read in full...)

I've made the worst mistake ever ...

Q.   I got very drunk last night with my fiancé and a few friends. By the end of the night I was pretty inebriated. I often feel the desire to have sex when drunk however she was not interested because of the way I was acting earlier in the evening. I ...

A.   15 June 2014: OP what do you think the response would be if your fiancée was the one asking the question? If she, or any other woman, described what you did when drunk how do you think we would advice her to act now? I would advise any woman who suffered what you ... (read in full...)

What if he is not Mister Right?

Q.   Hi everyone, i met a guy on holiday in May and we have been in contact since. I am Irish and he is from the uk. I went to visit him and we got along good. I like him and he likes me. My problem is, because this is a long distance thing that's goin ...

A.   15 June 2014: If you want to settled down and start a family in the near future, don't waste time on someone who lives in another country. It would take a lot of time going back and forth to Ireland, and him coming to you, to get to know each enough to decide if ... (read in full...)

Were there enough red flags on this first date to justify no second one?

Q.   So, I went on a first date with this guy tonight, and, while he was a nice enough guy (easy to talk to, interesting), there were a couple of things that seemed like red flags. We met up in an area where there were lots of restaurants in o...

A.   14 June 2014: Sounds like a good date! Well by my standards anyway. he sounds either tight, or not financially secure enough to date quite frankly. Don't get me wrong, I understand that times are hard and that eating out is expensive, and I don't recommen... (read in full...)

My nude modelling job went horribly wrong, the photographer now has graphic pics of me and I'm afraid of the repercussions

Q.   Hi, I'm almost 21. Yesterday I did a modelling job, supposedly completely professional and artistic in nature. I was made to sign a release but assumed it was okay (I have difficultly reading long passages) and the photographer seemed nice. He asked ...

A.   14 June 2014: I do a lot of photography myself and paying you just £15 for any pictures is ridiculous! Women who are paid to be photographed nude by a proper professional get paid a lot of money, not £15. A model release form, which you signed, is a contract... (read in full...)

Should I try consoling her or should I let her get through her grieving alone?

Q.   My friend (ex crush) have been down in the dumps lately. It wasn't until recently that I found out she broke up with her boyfriend. I confessed to her my feelings a few months back but she said that she only saw us as friends. It was difficult at ...

A.   14 June 2014: Hi I don't think its appropriate for you to get involved unless she ask you to. For the sake of your own feelings and those of her, I would take a step back. If you try and help her through her bad time she may think its an attempt to win h... (read in full...)

My nude modelling job went horribly wrong, the photographer now has graphic pics of me and I'm afraid of the repercussions

Q.   Hi, I'm almost 21. Yesterday I did a modelling job, supposedly completely professional and artistic in nature. I was made to sign a release but assumed it was okay (I have difficultly reading long passages) and the photographer seemed nice. He asked ...

A.   14 June 2014: OP you have had your innocence and your naivity taken advantage of. Im very sorry you are in this situation. I don't want to sound rude or hurtful but clearly you have an issue in which you perhaps do not perceive things the way other adults w... (read in full...)

Why would a good looking, successful guy be on a dating site when he can get any girl in real life?

Q.   So I met a guy online a couple of weeks ago. He's really good looking (models on the side) has a good job and seems pretty successful. He asked for my number and has been been texting me almost every day ever since but has never called. He always ...

A.   14 June 2014: Hello, Generally people use internet dating sites because of the following reasons: - Lack of time or opportunity to meet others socially. Perhaps his work situation or other commitments prevent him going out meeting new people as often as he w... (read in full...)

Is there a future with this guy? Does he really like me? How come he won't commit? Will he ever commit?

Q.   Dear Aunts, Bare with me because my story is quite long. It started On March 20th this year. I reunited with a guy whom I had a high school fling with for just about 2 weeks. After 5 years we found each other on Facebook. He's single and I'm...

A.   14 June 2014: Hello, Im sorry if my response is going to be a bit blunt but some thing's just don't seem right here im sorry. I really don't get your situation at all. After just three months together you were practically living together, sleeping togethe... (read in full...)

He actually strikes me as very needy, controlling, desperate and emotionally weak.. I don't know.. what do you think?

Q.   Ok so I really need help on this one. I met this Guy online and although we haven't Met yet, (we just chatted, exchange emails, and talked on the phone for about a month now) we both could tell that there's chemistry and emotional connection between ...

A.   14 June 2014: Yes he sounds needy and desperate. I would move on as its likely to get worse not better. I had the same experience. Got chatting to a woman I liked, we got on well, etc. then on day she text me and I didn't realize. My phone was upstairs... (read in full...)

My husband is masturbating ALL the time!

Q.   My husband is masturbating ALL the time. He does it 3-4 times a day during the work week and more on weekends. We will just be sitting there enjoying a movie and I'll look over and he's doing it. We have sex regularly. We've had it four times this ...

A.   14 June 2014: Oh dear....sounds like he has a serious problem. Don't get me wrong, us blokes like to show ourselves a good time, but I wouldn't eat, type this response or watch a movie one handed, you know? There's a time and a place - and its not while sat with ... (read in full...)

Should I use a dating agency?

Q.   I am 32, single, and had been considering using a dating agency after a friend recommended it to me (he'd met his fiancee through one!). However, the things that concern me are twofold... cost and whether they work. Most of my friends tend to ...

A.   13 June 2014: To be honest I didn't think they still existed in these times when internet dating is so readily available. There used to be Matramonial agencies and the like in the past, and computer dating services, but they are not prevalent these days as far as ... (read in full...)

I'm very nervous about starting college and making new friends!

Q.   Hello everyone! I'm 16 and I'm starting college in September (in the UK, not America. Also, it's a normal college, not a boarding school or anything) and I'm very nervous! I'm wondering if it's easy to make friends there? See, I'll be going to this ...

A.   13 June 2014: Hello, Im sure you will soon make friends - thing to remember, most of the students will be your age and share a common interest in the subjects(s) you are studying. Im sure the college will soon have you all doing ice breaking exercises and so o... (read in full...)

I want to go to my boyfriend's mother's wedding but my OCD puts me off the pets in her house, what do I do?

Q.   It is my boyfriend's mother's wedding and I am invited to go. If I go, I would need to stay at her house. She lives in another country. There are no hotels or even transportation around, not to mention it is one of the more expensive countries in ...

A.   13 June 2014: (opps pressed something and it send my message incomplete!) Wow two pigs? That's a bit extreme! I would tell your BF you are not going. Which country is it in? Here in the UK we don't usually have pigs as pets INDOORS! Imagine having those pa... (read in full...)

I want to go to my boyfriend's mother's wedding but my OCD puts me off the pets in her house, what do I do?

Q.   It is my boyfriend's mother's wedding and I am invited to go. If I go, I would need to stay at her house. She lives in another country. There are no hotels or even transportation around, not to mention it is one of the more expensive countries in ...

A.   13 June 2014: WOW ... (read in full...)

Am I not floating his boat?

Q.   Curiosity got the better of me......I met a guy on a dating website and we have been meeting regularly for approx 6 weeks .....I deleted my account as I can only concentrate on one person at a time but today I re-registered to see if he was still on ...

A.   13 June 2014: Female anon, not all men on dating site are as you describe. I met my GF online and we spent two great years together. many of my friends have married on line partners. Just because someone joins a dating site doesn't mean they cannot attract a ... (read in full...)

My gay friend is cheating on his boyfriend. How can I deal with this situation?

Q.   Around four years ago me and 3 friends from school created a gmail account dedicated exclusively to school things. Presentations, home works, things like that, we all had the password to that account and whenever we wanted to store important ...

A.   13 June 2014: You didn't do anything wrong, but I would stay well out of the situation. You came across this information due to a genuine, honest reason. In hindsight it may have been better to not open any sent emails but, as it had been a jointly owned em... (read in full...)

Why are men put off by women who lack confidence?

Q.   Why are men put off by women who lack confidence? Why is it so unattractive to them? I ask this because i believe that's why my crush isn't showing interest. He's 40 odd and I'm 27. I am almost certain I saw him looking at my body and the very ...

A.   13 June 2014: Hi, Your confidence, or lack of, is not the issue here. Its probably a combination of the following... - He probably finds you attractive and enjoys flirting with a young women but feels you are too young for him. He may have children not muc... (read in full...)

A cautionary tale for me?

Q.   I am even further disillusioned by this thing called love. My back story is: I am 53, divorced for 4.5 years. No kids. Was married for 12 years, together for 16. My ex cheated on me and left me for another woman. He never showed any remor...

A.   13 June 2014: I wrote - "If push came to shove would you move auntie in with you if she had to be looked after? If so would you let her hubby come live with you too and go for the double care option? " It should have read something like: "if push came to shove... (read in full...)

A cautionary tale for me?

Q.   I am even further disillusioned by this thing called love. My back story is: I am 53, divorced for 4.5 years. No kids. Was married for 12 years, together for 16. My ex cheated on me and left me for another woman. He never showed any remor...

A.   13 June 2014: thin the blood I meant... (read in full...)

I like this guy, but he is coming on too strong?

Q.   There's a guy I know who I have become interested in, and I think he is interested in me as well. However, I am finding that he comes on very strong and it's making me a little uncomfortable. He is very polite, and his compliments are all ...

A.   13 June 2014: Are you sure he is not just trying to find a quick route into your bed? Constant compliments, making you the centre of attention...sounds like he is in a hurry for one thing. Mark... (read in full...)

A cautionary tale for me?

Q.   I am even further disillusioned by this thing called love. My back story is: I am 53, divorced for 4.5 years. No kids. Was married for 12 years, together for 16. My ex cheated on me and left me for another woman. He never showed any remor...

A.   13 June 2014: I think you are taking on too many other issues that are not your problem. You say you are not negative, but im afraid you are. Yes blood is thicker than water but what was your ex husbands family to do? Stay in touch with you when their son was ... (read in full...)

Threesome is not working out for me and now she lives with us!

Q.   I am 35 years old and my husband and I have been happily married for 13 1/2 years (until recently that is). About two months ago, my husband and I started having threesomes with an 18 year old female friend of the family. Everything was going great ...

A.   12 June 2014: Cattycakes, sorry to hear about your dad. This is a five year old thread ;-) Mark... (read in full...)

I feel like I have had a snapshot of my B/f and his life and want out of the relationship.

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend about 5 months now and over the last couple of weeks I have been staying at his while some major repairs are being done to my home. I noticed some 'odd' behaviours in my boyfriend (who is 39) right at the start when I ...

A.   12 June 2014: Mental health problems have a stigma attached. One doesn't normally introduce someone as being "Andy with Aspergers" or "Autistic Arthur". It something often kept very private or not mentioned. That doesn't help the situation in many ways but I can ... (read in full...)

She is refusing to face financial facts and is moving back home to her parents

Q.   How can me and my fiancée come to an agreement? She's lived with me in a house I own and I knew she had some debts so I sat down with her to help sort them out. Around £20,000 in debt including car payments. She has 3 horses which cost her around £...

A.   12 June 2014: To be honest I think it was way too soon to get engaged after just twelve months for any couple, but when you add insecurities, councilling, etc. It was clearly too soon. If you do get back together, I don't think getting married is a good ide... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is on exchange and has become close to a male friend. Am I being oversensitive?

Q.   Hi guys, just a question about a girlfriend on exchange. My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years, and while we've had rocky moments, we've been fairly stable all along. Recently though, she went on exchange for 6 months wi...

A.   12 June 2014: Hi, I don't think you are being over sensitive. To be honest, if anything I think you are missing the reality of this situation. Your GF is going away for six months, a long time when your young. Basically you are in a six months Long Dist... (read in full...)

My girlfriend and my best friend live at each others' houses in my absence! What's going on?

Q.   So, I have been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years and she is the love of my life, I can't picture my life without her. but recently she has been hanging around with my best friend alot, I recently found out that (after we had a huge argument) ...

A.   12 June 2014: It is very clear what is happening - dump this girl and do yourself a favour, and I wouldn't bother with your so called friend either. Imaging if the situation was reversed....you and her had a fight so you went and spent a week sleeping at her f... (read in full...)

Trying to spice things up -- how about my cheerleader uniform?

Q.   my boyfriend and i have been looking for ways to spice things up in the bedroom. i recently found one of my old cheerleading uniforms from high school and discovered that i can still fit into it...and i'm thinking that it might be fun to try a ...

A.   12 June 2014: Hello, Sounds like a fun idea!! I was thinking something similar - however I no longer fit into my little boy scouts uniform after 30 odd years, plus its not very sexy :-( My GF suggested a cheerleader uniform to spice up our sex life. I got ... (read in full...)

What should I ask for as an entry level salary?

Q.   I'm graduating from college soon and applying to starting positions like Sales Coordinator, Executive Assistant, etc. I don't mind my first job not being ideal; I just want to gain experience and look better on paper. I have only worked in food ...

A.   12 June 2014: To be honest the question is hard to answer in terms of an actual figure. We don't know your country or indeed what type of positions you will be offered. If you live in the UK, US, or Europe you will realistically be spending a lot of time and ... (read in full...)

How to make things work with him?

Q.   My boyfriend and i met at school. We started dating when we were both 16. We go to universities at opposite ends of the country and have struggled massively with this. constant arguing, barely seeing one another and its reached the point where he ...

A.   12 June 2014: For a relationship to work in needs the love and commitment to be mutual. No matter how much you love him, and despite not wanting to leave, I don't think its going to work. It sounds like a once good relationship has come to a point where you are ... (read in full...)

How to make things work with him?

Q.   My boyfriend and i met at school. We started dating when we were both 16. We go to universities at opposite ends of the country and have struggled massively with this. constant arguing, barely seeing one another and its reached the point where he ...

A.   11 June 2014: Hello, Its not normal for someone three years in to declare that they are no longer in love, I think you are missing a big red flag there. Love does change, but if your partner repeatedly claims not to be in love anymore, that's a big concern.... (read in full...)

I feel like I have had a snapshot of my B/f and his life and want out of the relationship.

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend about 5 months now and over the last couple of weeks I have been staying at his while some major repairs are being done to my home. I noticed some 'odd' behaviours in my boyfriend (who is 39) right at the start when I ...

A.   10 June 2014: Hello, I am not trained in recognising behavioural problems and i'm no expert but it sounds to me like Aspergers and/or autism. I worked in the Civil Service for many years (public sector) and they wanted to set the standard for employing st... (read in full...)

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