A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HiI moved countries and eventually settled down with a boyfriend and now expecting my first baby. I kept in touch with most of my friends and family back home and I told good friends that i'm pregnant however I did not say it to a few.The reason I havent told the "few" other friends back home I am pregnant is because we havent kept in touch as much as I would have liked...and also because I feel as if they would gossip about me with others ex friends (who I dont like) which means i dont trust telling them.They would also be a little jealous of me moving on ;) this is based on their past behavior towards me.I am planning to go back to my home country after my baby is born for a short holiday; should i tell these few friends i have a baby now, or should I just visit them and not mention anything? whilst moving on with my life. I am unsure.I dont want to keep secrets but at the same time i dont want my news being spread about town.Help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 May 2014):
 If you have not kept in touch with someone there is no need to get in touch with them just to tell them you are pregnant.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2014): What exactly people ade gping to " gossip" about? You having a baby? That's not even a gossip,that iz just news
By any means u can b as secretive as u wish but if my friend didnt tell me about pregnancy i would be... Puzzled,to say the least
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2014): Do whatever feels right for you. As long as your family know and you set up a skype thing each side so they can have regular contract with their grandbaby/niece/nephew, it's none of the others' business.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (3 May 2014):
 Hi congratulations on your good news. Well you've told me and several thousand people on this site of your pregnancy, so what harm a few more eh? Seriously, who you tell is entirely up to you. It is your news, your personal info and it is entirely up to yourself who you feel comfortable with sharing this information with. You have moved abroad and, as is often the case in such situations, some of the people you may have once been close to have drifted away. Either some of your old friends have not made much effort or you have decided to distance yourself from them gradually over time. There is clearly a reason why they, you, or both have not made so much effort. Realistically, from what you have said about these individuals, its likely the friendship wont last into the long term future. You have several options:1) Not telling these individuals about the pregnancy and avoiding visiting them upon your visit to your old country. However this may cause problems in that they could find out you visited (or have known you were due to visit) and didn't call on them. However if you have not kept in touch so much, lack trust in these people and they have behaved badly towards you previously, is this really a problem for you now? They may fall out with you or feel hurt if you don't look them up when your back in there area, but if the friendship is dissolving anyway...!2) Don't tell them but pay them a visit. The possible issue of this is what if they find out through someone else before/after that you are pregnant and you don't mention it to them? They may be rude or ask you why you haven't told them which could be awkward. 3) You tell them about the pregnancy and risk them gossiping about you and telling people you would rather not know about your baby.Your choice may come down to deciding which is more important to you - keeping the friendship going with the "few" and risking them gossiping and the ex friends finding out about your baby, or loosing touch with these few people and keeping your privacy intact. Mark
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