| Latest articles: Online dating guide - with really good advice for you
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 June 2014: So why use Internet Dating? Over the last few years Internet Datings popularity has soared! There are now millions of us looking for love, romance and friendship online. Like so many aspects of life - shopping, banking, communicating with frie...
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I feel like I have had a snapshot of my B/f and his life and want out of the relationship.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend about 5 months now and over the last couple of weeks I have been staying at his while some major repairs are being done to my home. I noticed some 'odd' behaviours in my boyfriend (who is 39) right at the start when I ...
A. 12 June 2014: Mental health problems have a stigma attached. One doesn't normally introduce someone as being "Andy with Aspergers" or "Autistic Arthur". It something often kept very private or not mentioned. That doesn't help the situation in many ways but I can ... (read in full...)
How to make things work with him?
Q. My boyfriend and i met at school. We started dating when we were both 16. We go to universities at opposite ends of the country and have struggled massively with this. constant arguing, barely seeing one another and its reached the point where he ...
A. 12 June 2014: For a relationship to work in needs the love and commitment to be mutual. No matter how much you love him, and despite not wanting to leave, I don't think its going to work. It sounds like a once good relationship has come to a point where you are ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my music teacher..should I tell him how I feel?
Q. Hi, I am a 14 year old freshman in high school, and I kind of have a crush on my music teacher. It's not just because of looks(although he is extremely hot) but because of his outstanding personality as well. He is kind and caring and sweet an...
A. 12 June 2014: No you should not tell him or anyone else. This crush will quickly pass.
Many people your age have crushes on their teacher. You are at the age of sexual urges, emotional and physical changes and hormones. You are changing from a child to being on... (read in full...)
My ex is mentally ill, how do I talk about changing our relationship status on facebook?
Q. Hi everyone! A while back I wrote to you asking if I should break up with my depressed boyfriend. I did it, we broke up. He was since sent to hospital again, where he is currently staying against his will because they believe him to be a danger to ...
A. 11 June 2014: He is your ex, delete him from social media to avoid any potential issues of him contacting you, thus preventing you from moving on, or the problem you describe.
To move on you need to do so completely IMO. Having him "around" on FB wont help you... (read in full...)
I feel bad that my b/f is missing out because of my anxiety
Q. Hi, My boyfriend used to rave lots and it is a thing he enjoys so I have been to two raves prior to the one on my birthday with him. However, I don't really feel comfortable at raves. We went with a friend who also didn't like raves very much ...
A. 11 June 2014: I grew up in the nineties when raves were all the rage in the UK. I attended a couple and felt very overwhelmed and anxious to escape.
(Anybody living in Birmingham, UK, in the nineties will know of the infamous, long defunct "The Dome" and "Pul... (read in full...)
How to make things work with him?
Q. My boyfriend and i met at school. We started dating when we were both 16. We go to universities at opposite ends of the country and have struggled massively with this. constant arguing, barely seeing one another and its reached the point where he ...
A. 11 June 2014: Hello,
Its not normal for someone three years in to declare that they are no longer in love, I think you are missing a big red flag there. Love does change, but if your partner repeatedly claims not to be in love anymore, that's a big concern.... (read in full...)
I feel he is not really interested in me but surely he would bother wasting his time like that!
Q. Hi been dating a guy for 5 weeks now we've kissed and been intimate but i don't really think hes that interested in me.....we met on a dating website but he lives locally to me sand id rather he just said if he doesn't think it will go ...
A. 11 June 2014: If you have been intimate quite quickly after meeting, it may be that he has already had what he wanted.
Mark... (read in full...)
I feel like I have had a snapshot of my B/f and his life and want out of the relationship.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend about 5 months now and over the last couple of weeks I have been staying at his while some major repairs are being done to my home. I noticed some 'odd' behaviours in my boyfriend (who is 39) right at the start when I ...
A. 10 June 2014: Hello,
I am not trained in recognising behavioural problems and i'm no expert but it sounds to me like Aspergers and/or autism.
I worked in the Civil Service for many years (public sector) and they wanted to set the standard for employing st... (read in full...)
We clearly want different things out of life!
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up last year after months of arguing about what we wanted from our relationship. I wanted commitment, a family one day, our own home, whereas he wanted to stay living separately and just carry on taking things slowly. We had ...
A. 10 June 2014: I do think your being a bit harsh on this guy and making him sound like he is doing something wrong, or hurtful, by not wanting what you want. He has the right not to want the same thing as you, and although I accept that you may feel hurt and angry ... (read in full...)
How the HELL do I talk dirty? Please guide me. lol
Q. For the love of God - I can NOT talk dirty to save my life. Actually, I'm 32 and never talked dirty to anyone. Now, here's the weird thing. I can "sext" my boyfriend (of 4 years) some of the nastiest shit ever was but I can't say anything when we're ...
A. 10 June 2014: I hope you and your partner enjoy!
mark... (read in full...)
It's like she takes over elements of my life and does them better
Q. I met my best friend at work 5 years ago. She's amazing, outgoing, always the one with the funniest jokes and always the centre of attention. And that's the problem. She has insecurities about herself and about being lonely but you would never know ...
A. 10 June 2014: I think you have to accept that this friend is unlikely to change without professional help. You need to stop trying to help this manipulative woman and reclaim your own friendship. You care about her, she doesn't care about you. She is using you to ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with trouble!
Q. I need advice from someone who dosent know me. Since I was a teenager I've tried to stay outgoing and I've always had female friends but I've only been in one serious relationship, I guess I have trouble connecting on that level. I was raised kind ...
A. 10 June 2014: "The rest of me wonders why is it written in the stars that I have to be alone"
That suggest that you perceive this as being an either her or nobody situation. You are still young and have a lot of life ahead of you to meet new people. If you don'... (read in full...)
How the HELL do I talk dirty? Please guide me. lol
Q. For the love of God - I can NOT talk dirty to save my life. Actually, I'm 32 and never talked dirty to anyone. Now, here's the weird thing. I can "sext" my boyfriend (of 4 years) some of the nastiest shit ever was but I can't say anything when we're ...
A. 9 June 2014: "I'm sitting here thinking about him telling me to tell him I like his D and I can NOT think of what I would say to that"
Well he has told you what he wants you to say ;-) you say something along the lines of loving his big dick!
Just say some... (read in full...)
Is this lack of contact a bit strange after so much constant texting?
Q. Hi everyone.. Hoping someone can pint me in the right direction here! I met this guy on Tinder about 3 weeks ago. We've met each other twice, once just for coffee and then a proper date which lasted hours. It was really fun and we've been getting ...
A. 9 June 2014: Ive not used Tinder (so it wasn't me LOL) but I do use internet dating sites.
I know from my own experiences that meeting someone off social media or the dating websites often causes the situation you have described.
I have met many women w... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 2 days and I'm wondering how to tell him that I want to wait to have sex?
Q. So I'm dating a new guy for about 2 days now. I'm 20 and hes 28. We meet at an anime convention in 2011 and ever since we've always seemed to constantly bump into one another all the time around town (for A-----, that's rare especially if you two ...
A. 9 June 2014: Hello,
I think you need to be a bit more realistic here, im sorry. TWO DAYS and your talking about love, commitment, introducing to your family, or sex...!
How do you tell him to wait? Simple, you just say it. Your an adult, you need to be f... (read in full...)
Should I consider breaking up, or am I worrying about nothing?
Q. I'm 20 and have been with my boyfriend for a year. We've had overall a really good relationship, but now I've been having some doubts about whether we're right for each other. I'm posting this question to seek an outside perspective - are these ...
A. 9 June 2014: "His new age stuff might be great for a university settings among careless flower kids but it is a serious impediment in vast majority of other situations."
A great response!
Mark... (read in full...)
Should people have to change their personalities for others?
Q. Hello people. I was reading an article about relationships today, and it said that you can't go into a relationship expecting that you won't need to adjust your personality. This seems like a pile of horse turds to me, but I was wondering what y...
A. 8 June 2014: I do think there is a difference between changing our personality and being adaptable to a given situation. Relationships are about give and take and mutual compromise. Nobody is going to find a partner who is a perfect match. We all have to accept ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend moved on so quickly after break up and I feel upset
Q. 3 weeks ago, I broke things off with my now ex boyfriend. He was my best friend, someone I've known since high school and we stayed together during our last two years of college. He is the first guy I honestly have said "I love you" to, and he said ...
A. 8 June 2014: I forgot to add that you did the right thing by ending it. He should have either left or stayed exclusive. Sadly he took the cowards way out and put you into the position of dumping him, by which time he had already started to move on.
Mark... (read in full...)
Boyfriend moved on so quickly after break up and I feel upset
Q. 3 weeks ago, I broke things off with my now ex boyfriend. He was my best friend, someone I've known since high school and we stayed together during our last two years of college. He is the first guy I honestly have said "I love you" to, and he said ...
A. 8 June 2014: Hello,
I understand how you feel, its never nice to be in that situation. You are not a looser! Just a victim of very common cirumstances.
To be honest I think you need to accept that you and your Boyfriend, or rather your ex, are both still v... (read in full...)
She didnt want to be involved with me so why does she want my attention?
Q. I had feelings for a woman but they were not reciprocated. It has taken a long time to come to terms with this and to understand that it wasn't about me, about me being rejected it was about her and what she wanted or doesn't want from life. She ...
A. 8 June 2014: Hello,
She has told you where you stand. She doesn't want to be with anyone right now, and probably that stems form hurt or insecurities from past experiences. Maybe she has had relationships which have hurt her and hurt her children. perhaps ... (read in full...)
Should I consider breaking up, or am I worrying about nothing?
Q. I'm 20 and have been with my boyfriend for a year. We've had overall a really good relationship, but now I've been having some doubts about whether we're right for each other. I'm posting this question to seek an outside perspective - are these ...
A. 7 June 2014: Hi,
I agree with YouWish...great to have a young person like yourself demonstrate maturity and eloquence in a post. You sound a very level headed, smart girl.
It sounds like this lad lacks a sense of maturity and responsibility. ... (read in full...)
Why are so few of my friends my age?
Q. Im 14. i have alot of older friends, (mainly ages 18-26) also, i have a couple friends that aren't even 10 yet! why can i barely get along with a few people my age? i only have 4 friends close to my age...
A. 7 June 2014: At 14 you need to be wary of the motives of adults in their late teens and twenties being friends with you. I find it odd, and a bit of a concern, that someone of 26 would be friends with a 14 year old child.
The question should be - why would a ... (read in full...)
How can I make my mother understand that my cousin is like a best friend to me?
Q. my cousin recently got out of prison. he was there 3 years for sexual abuse. he is like a best friend to me. he is 26, and im 14. everytime i even sit near him my mom practicley yells at me! she thinks he would do something to me but i believe he ...
A. 7 June 2014: You need to see the reality of this situation.
Your cousin sexually abused someone, presumably an underage girl. For that reason your mother does not want him near you for your own protection in case he does the same to you. He may see a nice guy... (read in full...)
I don't understand what this teacher is doing
Q. hey, so i have never really told any one this , atleast not all the details and i really need some advice , honest advise so all this started last year around this time, my tutor commented on one of my pictures which i set, i was half asleep w...
A. 7 June 2014: "if I tell my parents they ll ask him and even he ll say that i am the one who texted him. "
THE FACT HE ALLOWED YOU TO HAVE HIS NUMBER WILL SHOW ANYONE ELSE HE BROKE THE RULES OF CONDUCT AND STEPPED OVER THE LINE THAT SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN CRO... (read in full...)
I don't understand what this teacher is doing
Q. hey, so i have never really told any one this , atleast not all the details and i really need some advice , honest advise so all this started last year around this time, my tutor commented on one of my pictures which i set, i was half asleep w...
A. 7 June 2014: OP YOU SAY YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT RUINING AN INNOCENT MANS LIFE.....HE IS NOT GIVING A SECOND THOUGHT TO POTENTIALLY RUINING YORU INNOCENCE. IF HE RAPES YOU YOUR LIFE WILL BE RUINED!
When I say rape I don't mean holding you down and forcing ... (read in full...)
I don't understand what this teacher is doing
Q. hey, so i have never really told any one this , atleast not all the details and i really need some advice , honest advise so all this started last year around this time, my tutor commented on one of my pictures which i set, i was half asleep w...
A. 6 June 2014: Vile man I meant. ... (read in full...)
I don't understand what this teacher is doing
Q. hey, so i have never really told any one this , atleast not all the details and i really need some advice , honest advise so all this started last year around this time, my tutor commented on one of my pictures which i set, i was half asleep w...
A. 6 June 2014: " then one day while we were talking he mentioned that he loves me , i asked him why he said it and he answered as casually as possible that we were friends and it was ok , i believed that it was ok." Reading that again makes me feel absolutely ... (read in full...)
I don't understand what this teacher is doing
Q. hey, so i have never really told any one this , atleast not all the details and i really need some advice , honest advise so all this started last year around this time, my tutor commented on one of my pictures which i set, i was half asleep w...
A. 6 June 2014: to add to what I just wrote...
YOU wont be hurting anyone or causing any of this. If he gets in trouble that's HIS fault and his fault alone.HE is to blame. If I groomed an underage girl and tried to use her for sex and she reported me, who is t... (read in full...)
I don't understand what this teacher is doing
Q. hey, so i have never really told any one this , atleast not all the details and i really need some advice , honest advise so all this started last year around this time, my tutor commented on one of my pictures which i set, i was half asleep w...
A. 6 June 2014: "i can't tell my parents they would sew him and he could be behind bars and i dont want that because he is actually a nice person , i just dont know what he is doing."
He is grooming you. That is what he is doing. He is taking advantage of his p... (read in full...)
Crush issues, should I pursue learning more about him or just forget all about it?
Q. So I caught this waiter's eye and he started conversing with me and my friend and welcoming us to town and giving us extreme details about this and that. He also asked me a couple of personal questions of what I do and where am I from...He kept eye ...
A. 6 June 2014: I would do it all in person, not via FB. He may find it a bit weird to be honest.
Mark... (read in full...)
After 7 years together how much does the average couple have sex?
Q. Hi there I am just about to move in with my boyfriend of 7 years. I just wonder really how often on average couples who have been together this long have sex? We hardly do anymore. Maybe once or twice a month at the moment. Half the time I ca...
A. 6 June 2014: Are you sure moving in together is the right thing to do? Your depressed, he cant be bothered...! What is the rest of your relationship like, away from sex?
Mark... (read in full...)
Neighbor asked my daughter to be bridesmaid then cancelled the big wedding and now I'm stuck with a dress and shoes!
Q. My Nextdoor neighbour was due to get married in August and asked my 7 year old daughter to be bridesmaid. My daughter was thrilled as she'd never been a bridesmaid before and it was probably her only chance (before shes an adult)as all our ...
A. 6 June 2014: To be fair to your neighbour, she has more on here plate right now with family issues than you being out of pocket. Sorry if that's blunt, but your neighbour has had to change her wedding plans at short notice, had family fall outs before her big ... (read in full...)
Is he treating his friend unfairly now that we are back together?
Q. Hi everybody, I'm not sure If I have a question or whether I would just value your views on this matter. Me and my boyfriend got together at 18 and have been together just under 5 years. Back last October our circumstances changed drastica...
A. 5 June 2014: Here's the situation as I see it...
Your BF splits with you and, as is natural, is feeling vulnerable, hurt, needs someone to talk to and probably a bit too quick to ask others, regardless of their merits, for advice or opinions. Also he is the o... (read in full...)
Did she lie about being pregnant / having an abortion?
Q. I hooked up with this girl 9 weeks ago, we're both teenagers, she told me she loved me after knowing me for only a day. she became annoying and shes a psycho so I blocked her number for 2 weeks. After we had sex she asked me "what if I wasnt really ...
A. 5 June 2014: You have been foolish and put yourself at risk. NEVER EVER take a woman you hardy know at face value. Whether you are a man being told your female partner is on the pill, or a woman being old your man has had the snip, don't believe it until you ... (read in full...)
He says on his profile he wants to date 1 woman but he asked Me for FWB-FB and he is seeing others???
Q. On the dating site he said he was looking to date ONE woman 1 on 1 now he asked me if I " was "cool being F**ck Buddies"! I'm really attracted to him and think we could be together well if he let's me in-should I agree and see if things develop ...
A. 5 June 2014: On the dating site he said he was looking to date ONE woman 1 on 1 now he asked me if I " was "cool being F**ck Buddies"!
Yes that's very common. Internet dating sites are full or users, players and deceivers. Nobody in their right mind would pu... (read in full...)
How do you know if it's going to be just FWBs or lead to something else? I want to avoid being used!
Q. This is a general question which I'm sure will have varied opinions but I'm asking because of situations I've been in which I just don't know how I could have prevented. I'm going to use the classic girl / boy situation because it seems the most ...
A. 5 June 2014: To start with I will address the point about FWB situations that are know before sex to be FWB. Ie: where it has been discussed or two people agree to get into a FWB relationship...
The point we make again and again on here is that so many wom... (read in full...)
I want to do what is correct, should our adult children meet before we marry?
Q. I'm planning to get married in a month or so there is one adult child on my side and 3 on my Fiancée side, would it be inapporiate to marry before the children all meet? ...
A. 4 June 2014: I would say it would be better to introduce them before they become "family" yes.
Out of interest, if you are getting married then presumably you have known your intended for a while? Do your kids and his know you are in this relation... (read in full...)
How do I incorporate light bondage into our sex life without freaking him out?
Q. my boyfriend and i enjoy loving, passionate, sex. the "kinkiest" thing we've ever done is role play. i get turned on by watching some pretty bondage videos. i like bondage, and have rape fantasies. i'm not ready to get too crazy (and honestly don't ...
A. 4 June 2014: my GF wanted to try light bondage and simply asked to be gently tied up and blindfolded. No problem. Your partner doesn't have to be violent to you or violate you in some way, so just ask him to blindfold you, gently tie your wrist together (with ... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to change our relationship for the better?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 year and we've talk about marriage next year. We've been so open to each other and both our family are supportive with our relationship. We are both 25. However, we've been through so many arguments lately...
A. 4 June 2014: Hello,
Mark here from the UK, not sure where you are from as I don't recognise the flag. Anyway, here's the issue as I see it...
You are both 25. You have been together five years. (how am i doing so far?) In that time you have both matured, ch... (read in full...)
What can I do to stop these feelings? Am I the only 13 year old who gets sexual urges? I know I cannot act on these urges.
Q. Help me! I keep feeling sexual urges. I know I can't have sex at this age, and not for a long time yet, but why do I keep feeling like this? I can't tell my friends, they'll think I'm a pervert. Can I stop this? Am I the only one?...
A. 4 June 2014: You have had some great advice here, also at 13 with sexual urges you need to be careful that you don't let anybody talk you into doing anything sexual. As your body changes and you go through puberty you will develop breasts, a more womanly figure. ... (read in full...)
Should I trust my own opinions about my new manager, or believe what the secretary says about her?
Q. I recently started a new job (office work). The manager is nice at a glance. She is a bit picky and micromanages but what manager doesn't? Anyway there is a secretary working here and from day 1 she has tried to misguide my opinion about my mana...
A. 4 June 2014: Sounds more likely that the person telling you all this is the suspect one. Perhaps she is jealous, sees you as a threat to her position or maybe doesn't like not being the centre of attention from the manager now.
You should tell her that you... (read in full...)
Should I trust my own opinions about my new manager, or believe what the secretary says about her?
Q. I recently started a new job (office work). The manager is nice at a glance. She is a bit picky and micromanages but what manager doesn't? Anyway there is a secretary working here and from day 1 she has tried to misguide my opinion about my mana...
A. 4 June 2014: Sounds more likely that the person telling you all this is the suspect one. Perhaps she is jealous, sees you as a threat to her position or maybe doesn't like not being the centre of attention from the manager now.
You should tell her that you... (read in full...)
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