| Latest articles: Online dating guide - with really good advice for you
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 June 2014: So why use Internet Dating? Over the last few years Internet Datings popularity has soared! There are now millions of us looking for love, romance and friendship online. Like so many aspects of life - shopping, banking, communicating with frie...
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I'm not interested in anything but being his pen friend.
Q. Sorry in advance if this is too long. I've been online(or pen pals if you want to call it) friends with a man for a few years. Up until recently we didn't talk much to each other, just a friendly greeting on facebook or this chat we started talki...
A. 7 July 2014: Hi
You can tell us, just astrix out the really bad bits, might be able to judge the situation better then. Besides which im nosey LOL
If he came on to you or made suggestive comments or made it obvious he really likes you then maybe best to ex... (read in full...)
He dumped me because I'm polyamourous
Q. Hi, I am a 24-yr-old girl who has just been ditched by the guy she's in love with. I am distraught, any help would be amazing. Basically I've been seeing this guy for five months. From the off I told him I wanted to be polyamorous, and that I was a...
A. 6 July 2014: Unfortunately you cant have the best of both worlds. You can either have polyamourous relationships which do not involve commitment and deep love or a single partner to love and be committed to. Realistically not many people are going to want a ... (read in full...)
Guys losing interest because I'm too shy
Q. I've always been a shy person and I have this problem where I have a hard time showing my personality to people. I act extra nice and polite (perhaps boringly sweet/predictable?) until I really feel comfortable. Recently I've been on four dates with ...
A. 6 July 2014: Hi
Acute shyness is always an issue in relationships. If he is doing all the talking it will soon make him feel awkward and that he is doing all the work. I've had dates with women who give yes/no answers to questions and sit on mute and its sooo... (read in full...)
I'm not interested in anything but being his pen friend.
Q. Sorry in advance if this is too long. I've been online(or pen pals if you want to call it) friends with a man for a few years. Up until recently we didn't talk much to each other, just a friendly greeting on facebook or this chat we started talki...
A. 6 July 2014: Hi
Thanks for the follow up. Yes it makes sense. His quote about the line in the sand shows he is probably interested and the fact he is talking more and more suggest so also. I'm not one of those who thinks a man and woman cant be friends ... (read in full...)
She might be interested, how do I proceed when I am in the middle of cleaning up?
Q. I volunteer at the humane Society for an hour or two. Cleaning up dog crap on the outside walking path. While I do this, I listen to my arm band radio and I start getting into the music and start singing. This woman heard me and kept smiling at me. ...
A. 5 July 2014: Hi
Great to see a volunteer doing excellent work. Nice to see some people making a difference. Pity others don't want to clean their dogs mess up after them though - (our dog Jethro eats his own). Always great hearing of someone doing good. We... (read in full...)
Now I've got him why aren't I satisfied?
Q. I've been having an affair with a married man for almost over 18 months now, he's been wed for about 6 weeks, has a 2-year-old son, and on Wednesday he announced he's leaving his wife for me. He said he'd told his wife "I'm leaving you, got a new ...
A. 5 July 2014: If you say so Op. ... (read in full...)
I'm not interested in anything but being his pen friend.
Q. Sorry in advance if this is too long. I've been online(or pen pals if you want to call it) friends with a man for a few years. Up until recently we didn't talk much to each other, just a friendly greeting on facebook or this chat we started talki...
A. 5 July 2014: Have you ever actually met him?... (read in full...)
Now I've got him why aren't I satisfied?
Q. I've been having an affair with a married man for almost over 18 months now, he's been wed for about 6 weeks, has a 2-year-old son, and on Wednesday he announced he's leaving his wife for me. He said he'd told his wife "I'm leaving you, got a new ...
A. 5 July 2014: EDIT: expect the stage (ie: taxpayer) to foot the bill, should read STATE.... (read in full...)
Now I've got him why aren't I satisfied?
Q. I've been having an affair with a married man for almost over 18 months now, he's been wed for about 6 weeks, has a 2-year-old son, and on Wednesday he announced he's leaving his wife for me. He said he'd told his wife "I'm leaving you, got a new ...
A. 5 July 2014: NOBODY who cheats on their wife both before, during and after a wedding, betrays their child and refuses to pay child support has any right to complain that the government or anyone else is a bunch of "lying thieving bastards" or full of scandal. ... (read in full...)
Now I've got him why aren't I satisfied?
Q. I've been having an affair with a married man for almost over 18 months now, he's been wed for about 6 weeks, has a 2-year-old son, and on Wednesday he announced he's leaving his wife for me. He said he'd told his wife "I'm leaving you, got a new ...
A. 5 July 2014: So....he walks out on his two year old child and despite being wealthy claims he isn't going to pay a penny towards that childs upkeep?!?! A child he has betrayed and whos mover he cheated on? Nice guy you have there. Clearly a selfless, caring ... (read in full...)
Now I've got him why aren't I satisfied?
Q. I've been having an affair with a married man for almost over 18 months now, he's been wed for about 6 weeks, has a 2-year-old son, and on Wednesday he announced he's leaving his wife for me. He said he'd told his wife "I'm leaving you, got a new ...
A. 5 July 2014: Hi,
You have had a couple of comments on here which are harsh but justifiably so. I do feel very sorry for the poor wife of this guy who, six weeks ago, thought her partner was committing to her and their child for life, only for you to steel hi... (read in full...)
I feel foolish now that he has gone back to his wife
Q. I was seeing a separated married man for a few months. It ended a couple of months ago. He has since got back with his wife. I now feel foolish. He was already separated when we got together and had been for a year. At the time I was at rock bottom ...
A. 4 July 2014: Suellas comment is out of place, this man was separated from his wife and had been for a while when the two of you got together. This was not an affair but a legit relationship.
Mark... (read in full...)
I wouldn't let him go farther and now I don't hear from him.
Q. I'm 18 years old nd m in a relation since last 4 months. We both kiss each other and he touches my breasts nd kisses them. I have allowed him to do so and I dont have any problem with this. But he tried to touch my lower private parts 3-4 times and ...
A. 4 July 2014: Please don't let this guy manipulate you into touching you or doing more when you are not comfortable with it. He is giving you the cold shoulder in the hope you will let him do what he wants. The fact he gets ANGRY when you wont let him touch you ... (read in full...)
I'm in turmoil. I love my husband, so do I stay with him or move in with my lover?
Q. I've been having an affair with a co-worker for the past 6 months behind my husband's back. I'll admit, our marriage has become a bit stale in the bedroom department, all my husband talks about is bills, paying the next bill, financial st...
A. 3 July 2014: Sounds like you are using this other guy in attempt to escape the realities of real life. If you left your husband for him you will quickly find the magic fades and instead of sex you get moaning about bills and issues.
You say this other gu... (read in full...)
I feel foolish now that he has gone back to his wife
Q. I was seeing a separated married man for a few months. It ended a couple of months ago. He has since got back with his wife. I now feel foolish. He was already separated when we got together and had been for a year. At the time I was at rock bottom ...
A. 3 July 2014: This is a pride issue. If others think he left you for his wife then so be it. So what? If people feel the need to judge then they are being pathetic and childish. Remember - your friends kept saying "what on earth are you doing with him?!" so your ... (read in full...)
Can a married person having an affair have the right to accuse the partner of being deceitful?
Q. Does this make any sense or am I wrong? Here's the scenario: a single guys is having a torrid love affair with a married woman for a long time. He only sleeps with her but does socialize with other women, and men of course, from time to time, bu...
A. 3 July 2014: Does it make any sense? Well yes because some people want their cake and eat it and get nasty when they cant have that. This married woman wants her bit on the side to fulfil her sexual needs exclusively while she has the emotional and financial ... (read in full...)
Younger older relationships in the light of the Rolf Harris thing
Q. I had a relationship with a much younger woman I was 41, she was 17. It didn't work out, though I did not do anything wrong except decide we were not that compatible and arrive at the conclusion there was something not quite right about it! I regret ...
A. 3 July 2014: Me again OP.
Im am writing not only to answer your question, which i will get to eventually I promise, but also highlight a massive problem now that many outside of the UK will not be aware of that SHOULD be reaching a wider audience. Its a pr... (read in full...)
Younger older relationships in the light of the Rolf Harris thing
Q. I had a relationship with a much younger woman I was 41, she was 17. It didn't work out, though I did not do anything wrong except decide we were not that compatible and arrive at the conclusion there was something not quite right about it! I regret ...
A. 3 July 2014: Your case is very different to Rolf.
As a bit of background to those unfamiliar - here in the UK over the last couple of years, some of Britains well respected, much loved Tv stars, who many of us have fond memories of from our own childhoo... (read in full...)
Would I be putting myself down if I take this job?
Q. Hello, i have a question!i have a high school diploma, and a computer application certificate. I live with m'y relative but due to their stingy life style, m'y health Is getting worse due to lack of food. Iam searching for job but its not That easy ...
A. 2 July 2014: You say that due to your relatives stinginess you are in declining health, well rather than complain about the lack of food being GIVEN to you by others, swallow your pride and take the job you have been offered and buy your own food. Beggars cant ... (read in full...)
Was he just using me for sex?
Q. Basically there was a guy I was dating for 4 months and since I have moved back to my home town, this guy has cut if off with me doesn't speak to me and makes excuses when I want to speak to him. So I confronted him and he said whatever we has was a ...
A. 2 July 2014: Sounds like he was just using you for sex, no doubt he will be chatty again when he wants to get laid. Move on to someone who is more willing to try and make a relationship work and wait until sex a little longer next time.
Mark... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to be a Male escort ...
Q. I have just discovered that my boyfriend is taking a part time job as a Male escort , and would consent to having sex with another woman . He was honest with me , but I feel hurt and betrayed knowing he will not be faithful to me . He cl...
A. 2 July 2014: Male escort is male prostitute. He will be having sex for payment. No different to you standing on a street corner in fishnets and high heels looking for business.
Ditch this guy if he even considers this. Firstly he just assumes as he sees it ... (read in full...)
Dating naive girls
Q. Sometimes I meet an attractive girl but then find she's very naive (has many male friends and doesn't believe that most of them just want to get in her pants eventually). That puts me off because I think I wouldn't be able to handle the jealousy, ...
A. 2 July 2014: Just because a woman has lots of male friends doesn't mean she is naïve. In fact I would say its naïve on your part to assume that she doesn't know these guys want her body. Whether she acts upon that is a different matter. Its one thing to be ... (read in full...)
Went through my LDR's phone and found evidence that suggests she cheated
Q. Hello dear Cupid and agony aunts. It's been awhile since I asked for help Here's the thing, I've been dating this girl for about 3 months, and we have known each other for 5 years. I love her, and have a connection to her I've never felt befor...
A. 2 July 2014: If you have only been seeing this girl for three months and you only see her once every few months then what's the point? How many times have you actually seen her since you got together? Two? Three? How is that a relationship?
LDRs are difficul... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my insecurity around his female friends?
Q. Il start from the beginning! So me and my boyfriend have been together for about 11 months. He has always been a very sociable person, and I would say he's an extrovert, whereas i'm more of an introvert. When we first started dating, he said he ...
A. 2 July 2014: What concerns me is the fact that early on in the relationship he tells you he doesn't want exclusivity, only to do a U turn and ask you to move in with him just five months into this relationship. That's one extreme to the other very quickly. One ... (read in full...)
He's pressuring me to say I love him. I'm not ready. Should I call it a day with him?
Q. Basically I don't know what to do. I've been going out with a guy for a week and he's already saying how much he loves me, he knows I'm no where near ready to say it back but I feel like he's pressuring me to say it. I've tried talking to him about ...
A. 1 July 2014: Hello there,
I would leave this guy well alone. He is not approaching this relationship in a mature and sensible way. Telling you he loves you after a week is ridiculous. You barely know each other. Love takes time, a crush or infactua... (read in full...)
My friends betrayed me when I was vulnerable
Q. Hi everybody, I'm guessing I'm going to get a lot of opinions on this question, I'm feeling pretty rubbish about it and I understand I was irresponsible. Please don't answer my questions with insults or lectures as I've had that off my parents and ...
A. 1 July 2014: Others have made a valid point - you could have choked on your own vomit. Better than choking on someone else's vomit I grant you, but for your friends to leave you in that state alone like that was crazy!
Mark... (read in full...)
My friends betrayed me when I was vulnerable
Q. Hi everybody, I'm guessing I'm going to get a lot of opinions on this question, I'm feeling pretty rubbish about it and I understand I was irresponsible. Please don't answer my questions with insults or lectures as I've had that off my parents and ...
A. 1 July 2014: Think yourself lucky your so called friends only decided to draw on your body, not use it for sex while you were passed out. That happens a lot. So called friends suddenly become very keen to "help" a drunken young woman into bed for their own ends. ... (read in full...)
Why do people do people act like they are in love so easily ? How do I tell him that he's crazy?!
Q. So my friend and I just got done texting and he has known this girl for like four days and is already saying that she is his dream girl. I've been telling him that he is crazy and that he falls in love way to easy. Why do people do that? How do I te...
A. 30 June 2014: Don't take his claims too seriously, most youngsters get carried away when they meet someone new. Its only natural for him to be excited and wanting to tell you how happy he is.
I agree that four day in is far too soon for judging whether this gir... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend wants me to drive him to his work.
Q. so me and my ex have broken up but its only been about 1 month or so... he says in a another relationship already like he has a new girlfriend... now he has been contacting me saying that he loves me even when we talk on the phone its love you... ...
A. 30 June 2014: Sounds like he is using you. He is telling you he loves you to get you to give him what he wants.
The fact is he is your Ex and he is now with someone else. He needs to sort his own life out now not rely on an ex for a free taxi service. Whether ... (read in full...)
What do you think of this married man who gets attracted to all beautiful woman he finds?
Q. At my workplace, there is a handsome man but he is married. He is of the cheating type. He is a player. At one moment he would be attracted to a particular woman and then when he sees another more appealing woman, he will be attracted to this woman. ...
A. 30 June 2014: Hello,
Its extremely common. In most of the workplaces I have been employed over the last 20 years there has been guys like that - Married, kids, middle aged chasing any bit of skirt he can.
SOME men, when they get to middle age and have a w... (read in full...)
How do I shake this guy and stop this cycle?
Q. So I met this guy at a party and I flirted with him a lot, talked to him most of the night but I didn't make out with him or anything. I think I mostly played with his hair and may have rubbed his leg a few times but I mostly kept my distance. I ...
A. 30 June 2014: Hi,
Op im sorry but you are causing a lot of this yourself. Im going to give you some home truths because I think you need them.
Firstly - you let this guy give you a ride home and he subsequently admitted to being drunk? If he drive you home u... (read in full...)
How can I best cope with my insomnia? Is it that my kindle addictive?
Q. Basic problem. Im staying up late, until about 1:00 am on my kindle. It's ruining my sleep schedule. Why can't I get off of this device and go to sleep? Help? Such a small issue, and I'm too tired to figure it out on my own. I know it's ...
A. 30 June 2014: This is an issue. You need your beauty sleep to allow you to concentrate on all those things 13-15 year olds should be doing: chasing girls, doing homework, concentrating in class, cheeking the teachers...Okay maybe not the last one but you know ... (read in full...)
Why won't she speak to me anymore?
Q. Hi, Basically one of my close female friends has suddenly stopped talking to me. We've been friends for 7 years, but the past 3 i've been away at university and have come back for a few weeks in the holidays. Everything was normal (we neve...
A. 30 June 2014: Hello,
Please don't go to her house. It would likely cause more issues and more upset. I would leave her alone now and not make further contact unless she initiates it. She has made it crystal clear is doesn't wish to speak to you for whatever... (read in full...)
I think I'm falling out of love. What can be done to improve the situation?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been dating for almost a year now but it doesn't feel like we're dating anymore. we dont go out much, we never really did, but we would always go to each others houses and hang out have sex and chill. i keep urging him to do ...
A. 30 June 2014: This relationship sounds more like best mates who have sex, rather than boyfriend and girlfriend. As you say yourself:
"we dont go out much, we never really did, but we would always go to each others houses and hang out have sex and chill." ... (read in full...)
Why does he want pictures of me if he isn't going to save them?
Q. My friend and i started out as just co-workers and then started talking more and eventually things led to where we started talking about him taking my virginity and he would ask me for private or "personal" pictures and I was hesitant at first ...
A. 30 June 2014: Why are you letting yourself provide wank fodder for a guy who has a partner and kids? What do you think you are going to get out of it except the fact he could use those pictures against you. You say you don't care if he sends your former boss the ... (read in full...)
Is it a coincidence that I see him there on my day off?
Q. A question for men or women. I am in my 40s and know of a guy that goes to our local coffee shop every day at the same time in the morning (my friend and myself have noticed when we do school drop off). However there is one day that he goes int...
A. 29 June 2014: Only one way to find out. Change your routine and see if he follows suit.
At present we don't know enough to judge so I would give a variable routine a go and see what happens.
Mark... (read in full...)
He didn't check up on me when I was in the hospital
Q. Hey everyone... I'm really going through a lot right now and it's hurting me. So me and my boyfriend been going out for a while now but he broke up with me because he said we have different personality, but we started talking again and tried to...
A. 29 June 2014: Hello,
The mistake you made was trying too hard and been too keen to please. You were giving this guy everything you could - acting like you free taxi service, his cook, his cleaner...! Even when he fell out with you, you would fawn all over him... (read in full...)
Would a fleshlight help a 32 male virgin gain some practice?
Q. Just a question. i posted earlier about being a 32 year old virgin. And poster Abella gave encouraging advice about it. i know and understand that a fleshlight with a mounting device that helps simulate doggy and missionary - and a mouth mol...
A. 29 June 2014: Op I would leave such things well alone! you really are over thinking this. Why add more layers of confusion and more things to obsess about?
I have not used the devices you describe, but I know someone who did. (in fact they had it in their de... (read in full...)
She's the coolest girl I know, but its been a long time! will it still be worth it?
Q. Hello everybody! I have a dying question to ask, and it burns my insides for an answer. Ok, so there's a girl I know, we have been best friends since literally kindergarten, and its 10th grade now, but in 8th grade, she switched schools. I kn...
A. 29 June 2014: Hello,
Forge your response to Troys answer was quite rude and patronizing. Troy is quite correct in stating that you are just acquaintances with this girl right now. By all means ask her out, and Abella has given you great advice as to how to g... (read in full...)
I worry I might be too desperate!
Q. So a few months ago I met this girl on an online dating website and we hit it off so quickly. Everything was perfect and we had so much fun. About a month ago, we decided to start dating exclusively and thing went ok for a while. But recently we've ...
A. 29 June 2014: You need to stop trying so hard my friend. If you present a girlfriend shaped hole in your life and make it clear her job is to fill that gap then she will soon fade away. Women want a man who makes them feel they want to be with HER, not just with ... (read in full...)
My Dad trusts me abroad so why doesn't he extend my curfew at home?
Q. I'm 21 and I live with my parents in a big expensive city in the U.S. I have a ton of loans from school that I have to start paying off in 6 months (I just graduated) so moving out of my parents place would not be a smart thing to do. I work part ...
A. 29 June 2014: To be honest at 21 a curfew is a bit ridiculous. I can appreciate your parents not wanting you coming home at all hours disturbing them of course but to dictate that you must be home by 10pm is crazy. Your not 16! You say you are a good kid but your ... (read in full...)
If he wants nothing to do with me why won't he just decline and block me on social media? Is he playing games leaving me hanging?
Q. My question is about a guy who appears to be "leading me on". About 9 months ago we had a terrible falling out. We were supposed to be just friends but I found out he was in love with me. He was very distraught that I discovered how he truly felt ...
A. 29 June 2014: I think you are over thinking this.
To be fair I think he made it clear he wanted nothing more to do with you. He either feels embarrassed that you found out how he felt, or he wants to go no contact to help him move on. Either way you need to ... (read in full...)
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