| Latest articles: Online dating guide - with really good advice for you
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 June 2014: So why use Internet Dating? Over the last few years Internet Datings popularity has soared! There are now millions of us looking for love, romance and friendship online. Like so many aspects of life - shopping, banking, communicating with frie...
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His temper is threatening to spoil this relationship!!
Q. I'm so stuck with this. I don't know if I'm being over picky or if I'm being sensible. My partner of 2 years is brilliant. No, better than that, he's incredible! We met a few years ago through mutual friends and he made it obvious he liked me but ...
A. 18 July 2014: We get so many posts on here that say the same thing: "Apart from my boyfriends temper, aggression and frightening bouts of anger, he is perfect in every way, loves me deeply and does anything to help me."
Being scared of a partner is a deal bre... (read in full...)
A question for men on women's weight?
Q. I would like some advice on something that came up in a previous question that has also been on my mind . I am a healthy weight woman according to the weight for height charts and yet at times when I have lost weight and become somewhat underwei...
A. 18 July 2014: Hello,
I prefer a bit of meat please. The Anorexic look is not good - shapely legs, few curves, a bit of shape is what I look for. I prefer a slightly larger woman to a stick insect.
There are some men who go for ridiculously skinny girls, us... (read in full...)
I can't get a Bf, but is it because I think boys judge girls on their looks?
Q. I had a crush on this boy for about a year, (he was 18) and we have been friends for about 4 years. I thought it was time for me to tell him how I feel, it took a lot of courage but eventually I asked him out. He said he'd get back to me.. He came ...
A. 17 July 2014: Hello,
Im Male, so im told, and I much prefer women with a more subtle chest. I personally don't go for massive boobs myself and I know I am not alone. Actually most supermodels, as apposed to tacky porn stars or glamour models gormlessly posing o... (read in full...)
My boyfriends mother is jealous of me!
Q. My boyfriend's mother seems very jealous of me. Lately, she has been saying things that have really struck out as rude. I also have an old post from last year that kind of describes how over protective she is over her 24 year old son and our Than...
A. 17 July 2014: Is your boyfriend an only child?
She clearly doesn't want to loose her precious little boy, at least that's how she sees him, and already feels that you have taken his attention away from her and she is jealous. She sees you as a threat to her r... (read in full...)
What should I do? I have a tight family and this sort of falling out will be a huge deal but I'm also not going to give up on someone because of someone elses problem
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship on and off for two years and although im not sure what our future holds, on a day to day level we care for each other and we have fun. We recently split for a few months as the distance was tough and ...
A. 17 July 2014: If you only see Charlie boy cousin or whoever he is twice per annum I wouldn't worry. If YOU are happy with a LDR with a chap with child then that's your choice. You are 30 plus, not 17 ;-)
Mark... (read in full...)
Is my online friend right to be angry that I didn't ask him for money?
Q. I have a great online friendship been going on about 18 months now, we are good friends have lots of chats and fun. Earlier this year I was out of work and he was very supportive of me cheering me up and just being there for me to chat when I was do...
A. 16 July 2014: Nobody should ever lend money or give cash to someone they have never met in real life. Especially with so many scams online trying to extort money out of innocent people. Only a fool would provide money to someone they don't actually know in the ... (read in full...)
They say I would have been rocked by a tree stump. Do they have a point?
Q. OK, I had sex with a new boyfriend recently. It was our first date and he took me to the highest heaven. My friends were not as impressed. They told me my reaction was based on circumstances and looks, ie it was my first time after 23 years of ...
A. 16 July 2014: Why discuss it with your friends? Sorry but sex should be private and personal. What THEY think on the matter is of no consequence whatsoever. If YOU had the time of your life with this guy then that's all that matters! Good luck with it!
Mark... (read in full...)
I'm absolutely miserable at my job, what should I do when there are no tasks needing doing?
Q. I've been working a 9-5 summer internship/job for the summer - I do get paid, but on the downside, I'm absolutely miserable. I ask my supervisors for work, but they really don't have anything for me to do. When they give me work, I accomplish it, ...
A. 16 July 2014: Make the most of it! When you leave behind your internship/studies and go into real work you will be lucky if you can enjoy a bowl movement without having to explain to your supervisor where you have been for the last three minutes.
Im out of w... (read in full...)
Preparing for a job interview and I'm very nervous. How do I go about it?
Q. I have an interview for a Youth Worker job tomorrow afternoon. I'm very nervous. I haven't had an interview for ages.It wasn't my idea to do this kind of work. The Jobcentre put me forward for it. I am a shy person, so I hope I would be ok working ...
A. 16 July 2014: Don't mention a lack of confidence in a job interview. Never put yourself down in an interview or mention any negatives unless asked what your biggest weakness is, in which case say something like public speaking. Regardless of the type of person ... (read in full...)
Why do some men think porn stars are magical being?
Q. Why do some men think pornstars are magical beings? My ex and my first boyfriend were just like that. My ex said "a pornstar works in my office" in a voice as if he had achieved something. My first boyfriend used to call them by their names...
A. 16 July 2014: Um how do you know that someone you barely know is into porn? If one of the first wuestions you ask a guy is "Hi do you like porn?" then I think you have a problem.
Seriously I think you need to see a therapist about this obsession. You have a r... (read in full...)
Should I have sex to keep my boyfriend?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 5 years now, (I am -9) and I love him to pieces. We sleep over at each other's all the time and it's all been perfectly fine. Then one night we were at his and he said "my parents wont be home until ...
A. 15 July 2014: If you are not ready for sex then do not do it. It will be a horrible experience if you do and one which you will regret and possibly resent your boyfriend for. NEVER let anyone pressure you into sex, not even a BF!
If he dumps you for not havi... (read in full...)
Are people more likely to speak their minds when they are drunk?
Q. So ive got the inevitable question. Are people (espeically guys who are kinda of shy but just in general as well) more likely to tell their true feelings, and speak their mind when they're drunk or after even drinks? Is it true what they say th...
A. 15 July 2014: People feel less inhibited when drunk or having been drinking and often let their guard down or let their judgement lapse. People sometimes say something like "you know I always thought you were a right...." and it ends up in a shoot out, or they ... (read in full...)
Is it salvageable? If yes, then how do I salvage my relationship?
Q. Hi, I am a 28 years old woman, I met this guy online (he's 38), we are living in different country. I was in a relationship when he first contacted me, but only told him that when i was about to break up with my ex. After 6 months I came to ...
A. 14 July 2014: OP IM sorry but I think you need a reality check. Have you only met this guy the once so far? If so then you barely know him. The months of video calls, texts, phone conversations and so forth mean little in the real world. Communication and getting ... (read in full...)
Am I too manly?
Q. My whole life I have been into sports. I love sports, I love games I love things normal woman don't. I grew up an only child for 12 years and I was basically my dad's son. But I've also been hurt many times by men in my life. So to protect myself I ...
A. 14 July 2014: Hello,
Although I agree with the other comments that your current partner seems to undermine you and maybe suffers from jealousy or insecurity, it seems this is a reoccurring issues with many men in your life, rather than just one individu... (read in full...)
Am I just being a typical bloke?
Q. New to this everyone. How is everyone? I'm just a young lad. Started a new job a few months ago. I'm really enjoying it. I've maybe got this totally wrong. Picking up the wrong signals. So there's this really attractive girl. She's 2...
A. 14 July 2014: Is she married or have a BF? If so stay well clear! As she is a manager I would also stay well away. If it goes wrong relationship wise then you could find yourself in deep doh dah as she is a manager and you are young and new to the job.
Her s... (read in full...)
I found a receipt for perfume purchased after I went out after a row!
Q. can i have some advice please.i have been with my partner 5 years and we have a 16month son and i am 2 months pregnant with our second child. my partner is in the army so only comes home weekends, the last 2 weekends he has been so horrible to me ...
A. 14 July 2014: Either he has started wearing women's scent, bought it for you and is waiting to say Voila!, bought it for his mom or non of the above. Ask him but give it a bit of time. Wait and see if he offers you a gift of perfume first. If nothing materialises ... (read in full...)
I told a secret that could jeopardize my relationship!
Q. My boyfriend told me a secret about two of his friends, and made me promise to absolutely not tell a soul. I really messed up. I was blackout drunk and told one of my best friends that secret. I feel incredibly guilty because I know I really fu...
A. 13 July 2014: What do you do? Don't drink so much in future that you spill the beans about peoples personal secrets. You acted immaturely and betrayed the trust given to you by your BF.
You need to be more sensible about your drinking in future and try a lo... (read in full...)
Do girls REALLY fondle each other to attract male attention?
Q. There is this guy at work, who I will call "John". John is a real chick magnet. Every girl, whether workmate or customer, is attracted to him. E.g. while I am talking to a female customer, she snatches looks at John, and many times smiles to him. ...
A. 13 July 2014: I don't have an answer for you, but I wish I was like John!... (read in full...)
This girl is too intense.. how can I tell her to back off without being rude?
Q. So I have a work acquaintance in another department across the hall from me. We started hanging out in a group a few months ago and things seemed pretty cool. She is fairly new in town and I figured she just wanted new people to hang out with. L...
A. 13 July 2014: She sounds like the kinda person that perhaps needs a blunt explanation, rather than a hint. Her behaviour is verging on harassment and if it was a man acting this way towards a woman then it would be perceived quite differently.
I apprecia... (read in full...)
Is it possible to find any handsome and confident guys that are not assholes?
Q. It seems that every descent looking guy I come across ends up being a total asshole! They turn out to be liars and cheaters and users and honestly I'm sick of it. They think that just because they are good looking they can step all over peoples ...
A. 13 July 2014: It depends what you mean by confident and handsome. You may think a guy is confident who I would see as terribly arrogant, cocky and full of himself. If you go for Alpha Male types who are the life and soul, one of the lads and parade around like ... (read in full...)
How can I move on and overcome all the drama that resulted from my sister's complaint about my Bf and I having sex in my parent's home?
Q. Me and my boyfriend started having sex about 2 months into our relationship. We both lost our virginities to each other so everything was need and exciting, we had sex every time we saw each other which was around 5-6 days a week. Problem was we ...
A. 13 July 2014: Sex with parents or family in the same house is always awkward, and its only by having your own place that you can do it without that fear of being heard. But then you can still be loud enough for neighbours to hear you or, if you have kids at some ... (read in full...)
I am unsure what to do. How can I reconnect with a Gf from many years ago?
Q. I had a girlfriend many years ago and about 2 years ago i found her on facebook and she added me, but she not remember me, Now here is the twist: my mum goes shopping where she works on the tills and every time she asks how i am. I am not sure if ...
A. 13 July 2014: Hello,
The important thing to remember is that people change a lot over the years. If she was your GF many years ago then the chances are she is likely to be a very different person now she is older and in a completely different situatio... (read in full...)
I thought our date went well--why has she blocked me on social media?
Q. There's this girl that I have a bit of a history with (albeit a couple of make out sessions a long time ago) and we both wanted to go to a theme park, and so we went; as friends. At first we got on well with conversation flowing, and then when we ...
A. 13 July 2014: Oh dear. We have all had this happen at some point. Date goes well, we kiss, we cuddle, we get excited and then BAM! they either completely ignore us or tell us some crap about being busy, having met someone, blah, blah.
As for what you did wron... (read in full...)
I get the silent treatment every time we have an argument!
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship with a very passive aggressive man. We've been together for 2 years. We had a small argument 2 weeks ago, and i did apologize to him the next day telling him that i'm going through a lot of stress l...
A. 13 July 2014: This is not a relationship....its a farce. You need to move on from this guy as your getting nothing out of it.
the more YOU apologize for him giving you the silent treatment and the more you beg him to stop ignoring you, the more control ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is physically abusive. Part of me wants to leave him but I also know he would never truly hurt me
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years, and we recently moved in together. He is usually extremely sweet and caring. But sometime he has bouts of anger that make me extremely uncomfortable. I can honestly say he'd never hit me, bu...
A. 12 July 2014: " I'm making him sound worse than he is. He is actually extremely sweet "
Op you are not making him sound worse than he is, you are making excuses, concentrating on the positives and kidding yourself that this guy is all sweet and nice when, in... (read in full...)
Should I tell her he is no good?
Q. Hi everyone! Basically, I was dating a guy around 9 months ago whilst me and my then ex boyfriend, now boyfriend were figuring things out. We have now been together 5 years and after a family members death we hit a rough patch! Anyway, I met t...
A. 12 July 2014: Move on and let her look after herself. Maybe she goes for that type of man? If she wants to get involved that's her look out. Bear in mind she must have some inkling as to what he is really like as she has spent more time with him that you have and ... (read in full...)
I told her I love her and now things have changed, I want to go back to the way it was!
Q. I have told the girl that i love her but she didnot given me any answer for that ,also i had a small fight with her .now how to bring the old relation back on track since she is not happy with me.also she has never refused or said no to my ...
A. 12 July 2014: Okay so you told her you love her but she is not yet ready to confirm or deny her feelings of love for you.
How long have you been together? If you are in a long term relationship and she is unwilling to tell you whether she loves you or not, the... (read in full...)
Am I being toyed with or is this something I should hold out for?
Q. This is probably an obvious answer but I still feel confused about the situation. A little over a year ago I was chatting with a girl on an online dating site. She seemed very lovely, is a psychologist, pretty, nice, funny. We messaged back an...
A. 12 July 2014: ive done internet dating for a while now - had this type of situation a few times. Move on. Its all bullshit you being given. Basically she is telling you just what you want to hear to keep you stroking her ego from a safe distance.
... (read in full...)
Chatting online for a month and he wants me to pay his phone bill so we can talk
Q. I met this guy in a dating website about a month ago and he asked me to pay his phone bill. It makes me a little uncomfortable because I don't know if he is using me. He says he likes me a lot and has plans to come visit me in 3 weeks (lives 7 hours ...
A. 11 July 2014: I will answer your question if you send me £25 for my monthly internet conection...! How does that sound?
Ditch this user/scammer and find a decent guy and not someone who expects you to pay his way. if he is like this NOW what will he be like ... (read in full...)
How does one avoid date-rape and why DON'T some dates/boyfriends accept "no" for an answer?
Q. **Please mods, I think I ask a lot of important questions here and while I do mention date-rape, I put it in the cleanest way possible. Is there a way to share my experience and questions without it getting deleted? ** There are a lot of posts l...
A. 11 July 2014: Unfortunately the kind of men who perpetrate such vile crimes against women are not the kind of people who can be educated nor reasoned with on the matter. They do not and will not see that they are doing something wrong, or simply don't care. Many ... (read in full...)
Tips to get a man going?
Q. Heya there Aunts and Uncles, So, I'm an eighteen years young rising freshman at college, my boyfriend of over a year and I are starting to make things sexual and I have very little idea what I'm doing. I didn't have much of a sex education, even in ...
A. 11 July 2014: As you have had so little in the way of education or information, the most important thing is to read up a lot on contraception. I know that might seem a little patronizing but its amazing how many young and not so adults come to us on DC ... (read in full...)
How does one avoid date-rape and why DON'T some dates/boyfriends accept "no" for an answer?
Q. **Please mods, I think I ask a lot of important questions here and while I do mention date-rape, I put it in the cleanest way possible. Is there a way to share my experience and questions without it getting deleted? ** There are a lot of posts l...
A. 9 July 2014: In an ideal world we should all have the right to do what we want, when we want in total safety, assuming what we are doing is both moral and legal of course. All women should be able to go out, flirt, drink, make friends, talk to guys and so on ... (read in full...)
Am I still a Virgin?
Q. Hey me and my boyfriend were having fun kissing and stuff so we got to this point were we were taking off our clothes,he wanted to put his penis in but it was so sore so he tried to put half of his penis in I didn't experience any bleeding but my ...
A. 9 July 2014: I concur with Cindy. I also hope you used protection as its possible to conceive by doing what you did.
Mark... (read in full...)
My co-worker is exploiting our goodness, is a slacker and is forever making excuses. I feel like complaining to my boss but will that make me a gossip?
Q. I have a dilemma. I work with this guy for a small 6 people company including owners. Company is doing Farely well being so small. Other 3 people started working there long before me, and I work there 4 years. For a small company like this we all...
A. 9 July 2014: Having been in this situation myself - speak to your boss!
Firstly if he gets fired that his own fault. If he looses his job or the trust and respect of his collegues then he is responsible for that with his poor time management, constant texting ... (read in full...)
Take it slow or lost cause?
Q. Hey guys, I'm really stuck on this one. Hope someone can help. I have recently met this guy online, and have been talking for a good few months about a month ago we met up and it seemed that we have a lot of our best friends in common we just h...
A. 9 July 2014: "I'm not sure, I'm not ready for a relationship,I don't think"
Is man talk for "i want just sex"... (read in full...)
Does not wanting to to work outside the home make me a bad person?
Q. Does not wanting to to work outside the home make me a bad person? My husband barely makes enough to support us. We don't even have children. We have talked about adoption in the future when we are better off. We're in our mid twenties. I ofte...
A. 7 July 2014: As you live with your partner you have equal responsibility financially and equal responsibility to make sure you can both afford to keep the roof above your head.
I don't think its fair to expect your husband to work above and beyond and take on ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin but this turns men off
Q. I'm a virgin and I plan to stay that way until I'm married. I'm not particularly religious, but I was raised that way and the few times I did try to have sex, it was impossible because I was so tense! The guy got sick of being frustrated (I'd ...
A. 7 July 2014: EDIT: You also need to be accepting of the fact that at some point a guy may decide he cannot live without sex and stay or leave. should have read STRAY or leave. ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin but this turns men off
Q. I'm a virgin and I plan to stay that way until I'm married. I'm not particularly religious, but I was raised that way and the few times I did try to have sex, it was impossible because I was so tense! The guy got sick of being frustrated (I'd ...
A. 7 July 2014: Hello,
Im a little confused if im honest with you. If I may, can I ask why you wish to remain a virgin until marriage? At least ask yourself that question.
There is nothing wrong with doing so whatsoever but I am wondering about your reaso... (read in full...)
I'm not interested in anything but being his pen friend.
Q. Sorry in advance if this is too long. I've been online(or pen pals if you want to call it) friends with a man for a few years. Up until recently we didn't talk much to each other, just a friendly greeting on facebook or this chat we started talki...
A. 7 July 2014: Hi
You can tell us, just astrix out the really bad bits, might be able to judge the situation better then. Besides which im nosey LOL
If he came on to you or made suggestive comments or made it obvious he really likes you then maybe best to ex... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is as unromantic as can be
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. We connect so well in everything. He challenges me intellectually, is fun, sweet, affectionate. The thing is, he is as unromantic as a person can be. As an example, he lives right across t...
A. 6 July 2014: It sounds like you need to be SHOWN he loves you, while he wants to TELL you he loves you. He thinks he is expressing his love for you verbally but you feel disappointed that he isn't showing you he loves you with gestures and gifts.
I felt it ... (read in full...)
He dumped me because I'm polyamourous
Q. Hi, I am a 24-yr-old girl who has just been ditched by the guy she's in love with. I am distraught, any help would be amazing. Basically I've been seeing this guy for five months. From the off I told him I wanted to be polyamorous, and that I was a...
A. 6 July 2014: Unfortunately you cant have the best of both worlds. You can either have polyamourous relationships which do not involve commitment and deep love or a single partner to love and be committed to. Realistically not many people are going to want a ... (read in full...)
I'm not interested in anything but being his pen friend.
Q. Sorry in advance if this is too long. I've been online(or pen pals if you want to call it) friends with a man for a few years. Up until recently we didn't talk much to each other, just a friendly greeting on facebook or this chat we started talki...
A. 6 July 2014: Hi
Thanks for the follow up. Yes it makes sense. His quote about the line in the sand shows he is probably interested and the fact he is talking more and more suggest so also. I'm not one of those who thinks a man and woman cant be friends ... (read in full...)
I'm not interested in anything but being his pen friend.
Q. Sorry in advance if this is too long. I've been online(or pen pals if you want to call it) friends with a man for a few years. Up until recently we didn't talk much to each other, just a friendly greeting on facebook or this chat we started talki...
A. 5 July 2014: Have you ever actually met him?... (read in full...)
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