| Latest articles: Online dating guide - with really good advice for you
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 June 2014: So why use Internet Dating? Over the last few years Internet Datings popularity has soared! There are now millions of us looking for love, romance and friendship online. Like so many aspects of life - shopping, banking, communicating with frie...
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I think he's using me -- should I end it?
Q. So I've been seeing this guy for a year now and he has been unemployed for 8months. He has a visa stay in Italy but he can't find a job cause is hard there. I live in the UK and I've been sending him money and visiting him. But now I'...
A. 9 September 2014: Dear oh dear! Smell the coffee please before you get hit financially and used as a visa to stay in the UK.
Why send him money when he is clearly not interested if you are ill or well? All he wants is your money. Clear and simple. On top of that,... (read in full...)
Should I tell my partner about guys hitting on me?
Q. A guy from one of my college classes walked me to my car the other day (10 mins out of his way). He asked if I was single, I said no, he suggested he was interested. I took it as a compliment. Since then I helped him out with a class he missed, sent ...
A. 9 September 2014: You need to learn to act appropriately when in a relationship. Letting other guys walk you to your car 10 minutes out of their way and then offering to help them with class is inappropriate. I know it may seem harmless but if a guy shows an interest ... (read in full...)
Is me sending my boyfriend pictures of me in my sports bra okay?
Q. Hi :) I'm 15 going to be 16 soon. I am not exactly sure but like I've sent a number of pics of me in my sports bra to my boyfriend.... It sounds kinda stupid of me... But it also got me questioning if it's okay to actually do that? ...
A. 9 September 2014: How old is your boyfriend?... (read in full...)
Confusion in a long-distance relationship, will she ever become more affectionate?
Q. Hello everyone, I will firstly give some context on the situation. I am currently in a long-distance relationship with a woman who lives in Italy. I live in the UK. We have been together for 8 months. We were living in the UK together until a...
A. 9 September 2014: "That WAS the plan" or "that IS the plan"? ... (read in full...)
I'm still haunted by dumb teenage stuff I did
Q. I'm having trouble moving on a dealing with the past. Most people move past stupid high school stuff but I'm still ashamed/embarrassed/feel horrible about things that happened when I was 13! I remember when I was around 13/14. I went through a h...
A. 9 September 2014: Hello
The things that happened THEN are separate from what you are doing NOW and the person you were at 13 is in no way a reflection of what you are like as a woman in your 20s.
Most teenagers go through a stage of clashing with family as i... (read in full...)
I've tried to include my half-siblings in my life but they don't seem interested
Q. How do you deal with half-siblings who don't want you in their life? I grew up an only child. I have 3 half-siblings on my dad's side. For 7 years I've been trying to reconnect with them. They haven't seemed very interested. We've correspon...
A. 8 September 2014: You don't owe them jack shit. Ditch them. They have done that to you - blanked you, deleted you, so why waste your time.
Having siblings is over rated. Just ask my brother!
Mark... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is stressed; why is he so distant?
Q. I will try to give you all a synopsis of my situation to hopefully obtain a better standing from my viewpoint. This incredible guy and I have been quite serious for about a month now. We haven't put a label on our relationship, but we both know and ...
A. 8 September 2014: Hi
A great user name by the way. I thought I would answer your post from a male perspective.
Firstly - realistically after just a month of being serious together it is way, way too soon to be making plans for a future together or "agreeing" to... (read in full...)
We were good friends for years, so why is he giving me the cold shoulder now?
Q. Since I was ten, me and this guy were good friends. Him and me always got on great. Although nothing ever happened, there was always something between us. He had feelings for me, and they were reciprocal, even though I never admitted it to him. ...
A. 8 September 2014: People change, simple as that. As we mature (or not as the case may be) we change, alter, adapt and become different people with different personalities.
Mark... (read in full...)
My friends suddenly hate my best friend, do I tell him?
Q. My best friend and I have gotten pretty close since we met last year, and we run in the same circles so we have all of the same mutual friends. Recently, some of our closest friends have decided they don't want to spend time with him anymore, and ...
A. 8 September 2014: Its important to accertain WHY your chums don't like him. What has he done or said that means your friends don't like him?
In a nutshell - if non of your friends want him around there must be a message their for you somewhere you know?
Mark... (read in full...)
LDR Newbie needs your help
Q. Any LDR 411s on here? I am new to LDR and think I may have found the one guy that makes my heart melts and understand me. I am the kind of person that hated LDR and preached against it but said if I ever get into one I first want to make sure one...
A. 8 September 2014: OP you are over thinking this so, so much! Making love, telling each other you love them, planning going for days out, proposals and so forth should be something that happens naturally, not to some timescale, answer from the internet or crosses on a ... (read in full...)
Why is it easier texting than talking face to face?
Q. why is it easier texting and communicating via social media/email etc than talking face to face with some people? could be anyone someone you have recently met, or someone you already know. things are awkward face to face, or their maybe sile...
A. 8 September 2014: Hello!
Think about the way people reply to posts on this site. I read a question I feel I can give a good answer too and avoid those I feel are neither within my experience or doesn't appeal to my kinky side. In order to ensure maximum humour, ... (read in full...)
LDR- he needs space, am I reacting right?
Q. I am in a long distance relationship with a man i met five years ago and we have been dating since march of this year. i am in love with him and i feel he is too, hes the sweetest, loving, caring and kind man i always wanted. i can be myself around ...
A. 7 September 2014: The goal of on LDR should always be to close the gap, and stop it being a LDR. Instead you have had five years of LDR and now he wants space? Sorry but by now you should have both made it work and be together physically, rather than spending the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's roommate is coming between us!
Q. My boyfriends roommate is coming between us! His roommate is nothing but a mooch. He eats my boyfriends food, takes his laundry supplies, doesn't help pay for heating in the winter time, and is the rudest human being I've ever met. Last winter his ...
A. 7 September 2014: Your BF needs to man up, grow up and start taking responsibility. Simply giving in, paying out, shutting up and letting himself be used as a door mat is silly.
Your BF is ALLOWING this behaviour. Give your fella an altimatum - him or you!... (read in full...)
Is a 20-Year-Old Girl Too Young For a 35-Year-Old Guy?
Q. I'm 20, going on 21 very soon, and I've recently met a 35-year-old guy whom I really fancy through a friend at work (I have a full-time career as I never went to university). He definitely isn't my usual "type," and we have some quite significant ...
A. 6 September 2014: Im the same age as the guy you like and to be brutally honest I would not date a girl of 20/21 as, with the greatest of respect, when you get to 30 plus you realize how young 21 actually is.
What I want from my life, my outlook, world view, ex... (read in full...)
First-date tips?
Q. Hey guys, I have a quick question. So I got chatting to a girl on Friday night that I've seen around town a few times, I was pretty drunk but everything seemed to go well, ended up kissing a few times and ended up with her number. Been ...
A. 6 September 2014: OP how did it go? Tonight was the big night! I hope you at least got a peck on your cheek and not a knee in your bollocks.
I hope romance, love, commitment and a bloody good promise filled the air afterwards. Alright for some! I spent my Friday n... (read in full...)
I might get rejected, and I'm freaking out! What do I do?
Q. Hey DC, Forge back again, and I'm freaking out. I recently (the day I posted this) asked out a girl that I fell for on day one, and have had a serious thing for her since. We've known each other a bit less than two weeks. I was told by severa...
A. 6 September 2014: Forge, you have known this girl two weeks - TWO WEEKS! Ive had bowel Movements last longer! To get so hurt, upset and fretful over a girl you have known a fortnight is not healthy.
You need to learn to make your own decisions, don't do what you... (read in full...)
How has the porn industry shaped our view on relationships?
Q. I would like to know woman's view on the porn industry and how it has shaped our view on relationships. Are we being forced to believe that this is the way we should be having sex and to like it? Porn has changed over the last 20 years, the acts ...
A. 5 September 2014: OP you talk about control and the fact that a facial is controlling. Do you not think that many women A: like to be controlled during sex, or B: like to dominate their man?
Some people of BOTH sexes like to be either dominant or submissi... (read in full...)
Is this normal in a relationship?
Q. Hi, this is not really a personal question but I'd like to hear some opinions. It is regarding the recent celebrity nude pictures scandal. After seeing the pics I find myself questioning what is normal and acceptable in relationships(I've never had ...
A. 4 September 2014: Some women enjoy a man ejaculating on their face, and don't find it in any way degrading or nasty. Some women don't enjoy it at all and some wouldn't even consider trying it. It is very much a case of some couples do some things that others do not. ... (read in full...)
He bullied me into an abortion last time, so how do I tell him I'm pregnant?
Q. Can anyone help!! I think i just need someone to talk to and not judge! I have been with my on off partner for 3 years. At the minute u could say we have been casual...just dating. Last year I fell pregnant and he bullied and manipulated me over th ...
A. 4 September 2014: Im sorry but why on earth did you continue having unprotected sex (ie no barrier method) with a man who is clearly selfish, controlling and has already forced you into an abortion?
I know I sound judgemental but surely having had such a terrible... (read in full...)
Should I walk away from the impending wedding or just give him another chance? My life is a total mess!
Q. My fiance and I been arguing a lot lately. We normally argue over the same things over and over again. Such as bills, wedding preps, punctuality and etc. Yesterday, he started to argue with me over my whatapp last seen and accuses me of ch...
A. 4 September 2014: Are you marrying the guy because you love him, want to be with him and are genuinely wanting to commit? Or is it because you are hoping deep down it will change him and make the relationship what you want it to be?
If its the latter then walk awa... (read in full...)
First-date tips?
Q. Hey guys, I have a quick question. So I got chatting to a girl on Friday night that I've seen around town a few times, I was pretty drunk but everything seemed to go well, ended up kissing a few times and ended up with her number. Been ...
A. 1 September 2014: Thank you Abella, and Anon. Glad you like my humour. Im actually surprised it was such a hit over in the states. US and UK humour is A: spelt differently and B: whenever I show my US/Can friends great british comedy they don't get it as its a ... (read in full...)
Is my fixation harmless? Or am I too obsessed with erotica writing?
Q. For the past year, I've been writing a series of stories about sex. I can't stop writing these stories--or at least, posting them in as many places as I can--and I don't think they're without merit, either. But they bothers me and I want to be ab...
A. 1 September 2014: There is money to be made from erotic stories and if it makes you feel better then I don't see the harm. Its an outlet for your desires and fantasies. However if your spending all yoru time writing them then It may be time to engage in other ... (read in full...)
First-date tips?
Q. Hey guys, I have a quick question. So I got chatting to a girl on Friday night that I've seen around town a few times, I was pretty drunk but everything seemed to go well, ended up kissing a few times and ended up with her number. Been ...
A. 1 September 2014: You were in stitches? Is that on the outskirts of Bedford?
Glad you found my sensible advice of good use. Don't forget to tell us all the juicy details of how it went. Of course if it goes so well that you end up being intimate then please d... (read in full...)
Ex was on the verge of cheating and blames me for his indiscretion!
Q. Hi Aunties and Uncles, I was in a relationship with a man for almost 2 years. I recently broke it off with him because he was texting another women. Nothing horribly inappropriate, but eventually he admitted he was attracted to her and started ...
A. 31 August 2014: He sounds very immature. Date a man not a boy. Silly Billy needs to grow up.
He "cheated" on you and then blames you for his actions. Pathetic. Move on my friend and find a decent, mature, sensitive, intelligent guy to date. (Here I am ladies!)... (read in full...)
Should I just brave it and try to approach girls. What are some good tips to connect with girls?
Q. I am 15, tall, muscular, well featured, and intelligent. I never curse or swear and I would never insult anyone. I respect all girls but especially like brown haired, cute, and shy girls. I homeschool so therefore I don't socialise much but when...
A. 31 August 2014: Looks are not everything! As Cerberus said we cant tell you if your attractive. Some women love tall, well featured, intelligent men. Others like short, weedy, stupid men like me. Its the way of the world.
I have sometimes been surprised at the f... (read in full...)
First-date tips?
Q. Hey guys, I have a quick question. So I got chatting to a girl on Friday night that I've seen around town a few times, I was pretty drunk but everything seemed to go well, ended up kissing a few times and ended up with her number. Been ...
A. 31 August 2014: Hello there,
Mark here. Ah the old first date question. Right up my street. I have had loads of first dates so I am fully qualified to answer your question. One day im hoping to get as far as a second date too. I'll keep you posted.
I recen... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a co-worker who refuses to tow the line?
Q. Hi gang, Im used to answering questions on here rather than asking them, so here goes. Its not actually strictly a relationship question but it is effecting my relationship due to stress and worry. I work as an office manager for a small chari...
A. 31 August 2014: Anon thanks for the great advice. Part of the issue, which you yourself seem to be also facing, is a feeling of slight bewilderment at office politics. Don't get me wrong after close to 20 years at work I understand it, but now I have to manage it. ... (read in full...)
Why don't I get approached by normal guys?
Q. I'm a young woman, and let's just say that I am very inexperienced with dating/guys/etc. I do have male friends but I've never gone on a date or had a boyfriend. I don't get out much nor do I meet many new people, but every single time I get hit on ...
A. 31 August 2014: Maybe you need to give off a different vibe as I don't see it just as hanging round the wrong places. For sure many areas are now hot spots for weirdos and trouble, but in the kindest possible sense the common denominator is yourself in theses ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never buy me gifts or flowers. Do you think this is petty of me to think this way or is this a problem?
Q. I buy my boyfriend nice gifts, all the time. Golf stuff, beer stuff, nice ties... He really doesn't do anything for me at all. He brought me a book for my birthday and a sex toy and that's about it. Otherwise, our relationship (one year so far...
A. 30 August 2014: Well said Cindy! I liked your original answer :-)
Mark... (read in full...)
Why is my friend treating me like this after I helped her?
Q. Why is my friend doing this? Am I overreacting? So when my friend had no money and needed to get her hair done I took her to salon where I do my hair and paid for her to get it done, Cause she's my friend and was just trying to help her. ...
A. 30 August 2014: Sadly most of us have friends who want us to lend money, give a shoulder to cry on or mow their lawn when they are in need, but tell us they are too busy when we want a favour returned. They want us to drop everything to help them, often over a ... (read in full...)
Everyone says, 'Do what you love' but I don't know what career I would love
Q. I'm 19 and have currently finished my final year in college. I applied to go to University however over the summer I have been thinking a lot about my career and I'm not 100% sure Journalism is what I want to do with my life. After thinking...
A. 29 August 2014: Celtic Tiger answered your question the way I wanted to but didn't LOL great answer CT. Being lumbered with student debts well into your 30s for the sake of doing "something" at Uni is a situation so many people find them selves in. By the time many ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about our relationship now that our lives are changing.
Q. My girlfriend and I both found jobs rather quickly after leaving university. Call it good fortune or whatever, but she started working this week and I am due to do so next. I have found myself worrying that these changes to both our lifestyles could ...
A. 29 August 2014: Hello
You and your partner have both started reaching that watershed stage of your lives when the freedom and fun of young adulthood, the optimism and ambition of youth and shared lifestyles, give way to the pressures of work, stress, financia... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't love me -- should I stay ?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating 4 months and things are very serious he even talks about me moving in with him and moving to a different state with him one day. I'm confused because he dose everything I ask of him and is supportive and all but ...
A. 28 August 2014: Hi
You really need to take his claims of a future with you as just eager, enthusiasm. Talk of living together and moving to different states as a couple after just 4 months is way, way too soon to even consider such huge long term commitme... (read in full...)
Everyone says, 'Do what you love' but I don't know what career I would love
Q. I'm 19 and have currently finished my final year in college. I applied to go to University however over the summer I have been thinking a lot about my career and I'm not 100% sure Journalism is what I want to do with my life. After thinking...
A. 28 August 2014: Hi
To be fair these days its sadly more a case of being grateful of having a job rather than doing something you love. Its hard to get into any career now and sticking with that chosen path is even tougher.
Sorry if that sounds negative ... (read in full...)
My ex will give me money but only after I have sex with him. I need the money but don't want the sex!
Q. I have been trying to start a business since last year, since i am unemployed but lack of capital has been my biggest challenge. Lats month i met my ex, who is financially stable and he promised to sponsor my business. So he wants to give me this...
A. 28 August 2014: You don't need an excuse. What you need is to find money for your business from a legitimate, proper source, not an ex who will then have a hold over you. Its bad business sense and shows a lack of foresight. It may help keep the business going ... (read in full...)
How many times a week should I cycle? And for how long each day?
Q. I have been struggling with my weight for a while now, and for around about a year or so I have been trying to find effective ways to help me shed a few stone. I have always eaten rather healthil...
A. 28 August 2014: Im so glad you have had a positive change in your life. Sounds like your doing really well!
keep it up - I haven't done much cycling lately as ive started working again but went out with a friend and we did 31 miles....nearly killed me! Last yea... (read in full...)
How can we make our long-distance relationship successful?
Q. He's from the UK, I'm from the US. We've been talking online for 6 years now, been "official" for one. Guess what... I've never met him! I know this sort of relationship is unconventional. A bit weird, and most people don't get it and will never g...
A. 26 August 2014: Hello,
Im sorry but I think you need a reality check right now. If you have never actually met him in real life you have nothing. Sorry but six years of online/phone/text/email relations is not the same as real life. Being "official" with someone ... (read in full...)
Can I still pull it off with my childish underwear?
Q. I've never been sexually active with someone else before and never saw a need to impress. I'm having sex soon and don't know if my cotton polka dotted panties and plain bras will pull off the seductive look. I'm low on cash so can't go buying ...
A. 20 August 2014: I don't think he will mind at all. He will be too busy getting excited about your body by the sound of it. Save your self a small fortune and leave the over priced, hyped up lingerie and be yourself. If you like polka dots then flaunt them!
Mark ... (read in full...)
I have my first date! Is there a list of no-no's to follow to ensure that its a great date?
Q. I'm about to have a date for the first time in my life. Is there a general list of things that I should refrain from doing in order to ensure that my date has the best possible time? The date itself is going to be a fairly simple affair. Basicall...
A. 20 August 2014: You will be fine ! Just be yourself. Unless you are as boring as me in which case go as someone else.
Give your shoes a good polish before hand. Women notice these things.
Go to the Starbucks before hand and familiarize yourself with it... (read in full...)
Is everyone guilty of victim blaming in some way?
Q. I know this is controversial, but I've been discussing it with my boyfriend and some female friends that I have. It's hard to get insight from guys I know because they just "leave it alone". I would LOVE to get insight from social workers or police, ...
A. 19 August 2014: In an ideal world we would all have the right to do what we want, when we want and where we want. As long as it is morally and legally correct we should be free to exercise our right of freedom. We should be able to chat to anyone we wish, wear ... (read in full...)
Why do men prefer it shaved?
Q. My question might sound simple but why do so many men seem to like shaved vulva as opposed to a natural hairy one ? I found that the man I am with says he finds it much sexier and several men have said this before . I prefer to go natural as I get ...
A. 16 August 2014: Shaved does make it easier to go down on a woman. Im all for a thick bush but when im breathing in her hairs and picking her pubs from between my teeth...!
I have had partners who were completely shaved, slightly shaved, forgot to shave, had afro... (read in full...)
I have my first date! Is there a list of no-no's to follow to ensure that its a great date?
Q. I'm about to have a date for the first time in my life. Is there a general list of things that I should refrain from doing in order to ensure that my date has the best possible time? The date itself is going to be a fairly simple affair. Basicall...
A. 15 August 2014: Hello,
As I have had some pretty disasterous dates over the years I am fully qualified to inform you what not to do :-(
Here is a list of a few things you should NOT, repeat NOT do or say on a first date...
- have sex
- mention ex's
- t... (read in full...)
How many times a week should I cycle? And for how long each day?
Q. I have been struggling with my weight for a while now, and for around about a year or so I have been trying to find effective ways to help me shed a few stone. I have always eaten rather healthil...
A. 28 July 2014: Loosing weight by cycling takes time and a lot of effort. Last year I started cycling to loose a stone which I achieved but it took months and around 1500 miles. Cycling is good exercise BUT its an efficient form of transport. So doing 25 miles by ... (read in full...)
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