| Latest articles: Online dating guide - with really good advice for you
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 June 2014: So why use Internet Dating? Over the last few years Internet Datings popularity has soared! There are now millions of us looking for love, romance and friendship online. Like so many aspects of life - shopping, banking, communicating with frie...
|
How many times a week should I cycle? And for how long each day?
Q. I have been struggling with my weight for a while now, and for around about a year or so I have been trying to find effective ways to help me shed a few stone. I have always eaten rather healthil...
A. 28 August 2014: Im so glad you have had a positive change in your life. Sounds like your doing really well!
keep it up - I haven't done much cycling lately as ive started working again but went out with a friend and we did 31 miles....nearly killed me! Last yea... (read in full...)
I have my first date! Is there a list of no-no's to follow to ensure that its a great date?
Q. I'm about to have a date for the first time in my life. Is there a general list of things that I should refrain from doing in order to ensure that my date has the best possible time? The date itself is going to be a fairly simple affair. Basicall...
A. 20 August 2014: You will be fine ! Just be yourself. Unless you are as boring as me in which case go as someone else.
Give your shoes a good polish before hand. Women notice these things.
Go to the Starbucks before hand and familiarize yourself with it... (read in full...)
Why do men prefer it shaved?
Q. My question might sound simple but why do so many men seem to like shaved vulva as opposed to a natural hairy one ? I found that the man I am with says he finds it much sexier and several men have said this before . I prefer to go natural as I get ...
A. 16 August 2014: Shaved does make it easier to go down on a woman. Im all for a thick bush but when im breathing in her hairs and picking her pubs from between my teeth...!
I have had partners who were completely shaved, slightly shaved, forgot to shave, had afro... (read in full...)
I have my first date! Is there a list of no-no's to follow to ensure that its a great date?
Q. I'm about to have a date for the first time in my life. Is there a general list of things that I should refrain from doing in order to ensure that my date has the best possible time? The date itself is going to be a fairly simple affair. Basicall...
A. 15 August 2014: Hello,
As I have had some pretty disasterous dates over the years I am fully qualified to inform you what not to do :-(
Here is a list of a few things you should NOT, repeat NOT do or say on a first date...
- have sex
- mention ex's
- t... (read in full...)
I'm living the life of a single person but I'm not single, in a LDR!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. The first year and a half was great, then he moved 6 hours away because the company had problems and pulled everyone back to head office. He struggled financailly and I helped him out. I said at the time...
A. 15 August 2014: Move on. At the end of the day you are stuck in a cycle of him saying "it will get better some day never maybe..."
You could spend another 5 years going round in these circles so I would cut your losses and move on. Besides, it all sounds very one... (read in full...)
Could I have found the right guy?
Q. So I have been dating this guy for 3 months and things seem to be going very good. Except that his ex is still in his life he says they are just friends. We hardly fight and he says that when he he's with me that he doesn't think about anything...
A. 15 August 2014: Enjoy what you have and enjoy the relationship for what I is, but don't read too much into star signs, same names and so forth as its both early days in the relationship and you are both still very young.
Although some people look for Mr Right... (read in full...)
My temper got out of control. How do I show my g/f that I would never hurt her?
Q. I've been dating my gf for almost four years now. Last night we all went out to a pub and got drunk afterwards we came back to my apartment. Everyone was having a good time so I'm not sure who things turned so bad. Apparently my gf and I went I t...
A. 13 August 2014: You will also need to accept that you will need to change some of the people in your life and avoid situations where drink is available. No good going to AA and trying hard to change if your mates are encouraging you to drink.
A huge part of ... (read in full...)
How important do you think political opinions are in a relationship?
Q. Hi all, I'm looking for some opinions on how important you think political opinions are in a relationship? As I'm sure many of you know, Scotland are about to go through an independence referendum. This whole thing has completely divided the coun...
A. 11 August 2014: Whenever there is opposing views in a relationship on either sex, religion or politics, it becomes a big issue. The latter two topics are generally the ones which people feel very strongly about and often its religious beliefs or political stances ... (read in full...)
Do men like biting and scratching during sex?
Q. Is it enjoyable for a guy to have his back grabbed/ lightly scratched during sex? Lip bitten? I just don't want to hurt or turn men off. When I get excited, I can't help it! Opinions? ...
A. 11 August 2014: I would cry like a baby, need some anti-septic on my wounds and a cuddle from my mommy. Sounds like agony. Maybe some men would like that kind of thing, but personally I would not.
I agree that asking him is the best course of action.
Mark... (read in full...)
Why the weekly contact from my ex?
Q. My ex and I were together for several years. We broke up around 2 months ago. Since our BU, which I initiated but he seemed to want it too, he has text me EVERY week. Every single week he sends at least one text message. They never say anything ...
A. 11 August 2014: He is looking for sex with someone familiar. YOU! Simple as that.
You ask what his motivation would be, well I would have thought it obvious really - sex. He has not mentioned getting back together but doesn't want to go no contact either. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't hang out with my friends and I feel uncomfortable around him
Q. I have been dating someone for about 1 month now and it started really nicely. We went to the cinema on a date and he spoilt me to popcorn and drinks. He would always say how nice I looked and I felt really nice all the time. Then we started hanging ...
A. 10 August 2014: Dump this guy is what you should do. He is clearly very immature and trying to impress his mates by treating you like shit. ... (read in full...)
Why is my sister's age such a big deal in her achievement and success?
Q. My sister is 23 and everyone is going on about how amazing her success is, please help me see why it's so impressive!!? She left home at 20, and moved to Paris to work in fashion, since she felt this is where her career was and would benefit he...
A. 9 August 2014: im 36 and I look back on me and my friends, girlfriends and family at 23 and realize how young we were back then. A lot of people at 23 are still finding their feet in the world of week after being at university and still quite naïve and ... (read in full...)
The man I've talked to online for 4 years finally confessed that he is married/kids. I feel like a home wrecker!
Q. I met a man online in a chat room when I was feeling a bit down and lonely four years ago, we have talked continuously throughout this time. But over the last year, we have grown ever closer and talk every single day. I finally felt ready to meet ...
A. 9 August 2014: You have had some great feedback OP and I hope you now see that this man has played upon your naivity and innocence. Chat-rooms are notorious for men befriending children and underage teens and grooming them for sex.
If you are aged 18-19 th... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has turned into an egotistical jerk! Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months and we used to have the perfect relationship. He used to buy me things, he used to be so nice and considerate, and he would always make me feel special. But recently, it just stopped. He's obsessed ...
A. 8 August 2014: Ha ha yes your right FA only a 16 year old would say something like that!
MJ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has turned into an egotistical jerk! Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months and we used to have the perfect relationship. He used to buy me things, he used to be so nice and considerate, and he would always make me feel special. But recently, it just stopped. He's obsessed ...
A. 8 August 2014: Ditch this fool. Anyone who tells a GF they love themselves more then them is arrogant, insecure and deluded.
He sounds like he is insecure with himself right now and trying to get the perfect body at the gym to make himself feel better about hi... (read in full...)
What lengths would a guy go to, to use a girl?
Q. What lengths would a guy go to, to use a girl? I'm so confused about everything that's happened really and almost feel a bit used but I don't know if I'm over reacting. The background to this is about 5 years ago I had a year long, intense r...
A. 8 August 2014: Forgive me for being a little blunt, but at 30-35 you should really have this clear in your mind. This is a young guy who got drunk and wanted sex. It was a booty call. Nothing more, nothing less.
I think you need to go no contact. You both sta... (read in full...)
Do you think the age difference of 3 years is a problem for two teenagers?
Q. So, I'm 17 years old, and I'm a lesbian. I'm talking to this girl, we'll call her "M," and she's about to be 14. We started talking through Facebook, and I didn't know her age by looking at her profile. She told me, and I had no problems with it. ...
A. 7 August 2014: I agree with honeypie and eyes wide open. The fact is that you are (almost) a legal adult, she is still very much a child of 13. For that reason this relationship is very wrong.
You are 17 and, presumably, over the age of consent in your state an... (read in full...)
Do men's voices crack or sound shaky over the phone when they speak to women they might be attracted to?
Q. When men I find attractive speak to me on the phone for business purposes, I sense that they are nervous and they laugh nervously or start losing their voice or get a shaky voice. What's the reason for this? It gets a little awkward and I am not ...
A. 7 August 2014: Hello,
Unless you are ringing pubescent boys, old men, or chain smokers I cant see why a mans voice would shake. I assume you mean only the men you have actually seen in real life as apposed to men you only speak to on the phone?
Perhaps its t... (read in full...)
How do I get the huge crush I have on an actor out of my head?
Q. OK, I know this is stupid, and This is very embarassing... I have been watching a new TV series, and I have a HUGE crush on one of the actors, who is British and fairly famous. Problem is, I've let myself dream about this guy so much that my rea...
A. 7 August 2014: Its not Ken Barlow I hope? Mind you - 1000+ lovers so must have something special!
I agree that cutting yourself off from this actors work and life is the best thing to do. Don't follow him on twitter or read celeb magazines or look on any site... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't want me to masturbate. How do I handle this?
Q. I am in my early twenties and I am a girl seeing another girl about my age. I do not personally think masturbation is wrong but my girlfriend insists that she does not like the idea of me masturbating although I only do it when we cannot be intimate ...
A. 6 August 2014: Hi
I also agree with CindyCares, as I often do. 97% of men have bowel movements...Or did I read that wrong?
Most people masturbate and it is normal, fun, exciting and pleasurable (so im told). Im not sure why you would tell your GF about it... (read in full...)
Was it a joke? I haven't met him yet. We talk online.
Q. So yesterday I was just having a normal online chat/convo with a friend I haven't yet met but no off and talk to a bit and the convo turned to sex - with watch others for money, as a joke. But then soon turned into details of what we would do and ...
A. 2 August 2014: I would stay well clear of this guy. The things he says are a clear indication that he is dodgy.
Whether you have seen his pics or seen him about doesnt change the fact that something is not right. Stay well clear. ... (read in full...)
Was it a joke? I haven't met him yet. We talk online.
Q. So yesterday I was just having a normal online chat/convo with a friend I haven't yet met but no off and talk to a bit and the convo turned to sex - with watch others for money, as a joke. But then soon turned into details of what we would do and ...
A. 2 August 2014: I would stay well clear of this guy. The things he says are a clear indication that he is dodgy.
Whether you have seen his pics or seen him about doesnt change the fact that something is not right. Stay well clear. ... (read in full...)
How do I get my BF to take the next step?
Q. I am caught in limbo and need help. My boyfriend of a year and a half has been stalling for months now about the "next step". When I first brought it up at 8 months, he said he needed a year before he could consider things. At a year and 3 months, ...
A. 30 July 2014: You cannot and should not sweet talk, or force via an ultimatum, a guy into marriage.
This is not about what YOU want! Its about what you BOTH want. You have been together 18 months - that's way too soon in my opinion to consider marriage... (read in full...)
My looks turn people off. Why wont people give me a chance? I'm lonely and I need friends
Q. My sad story here we go. My looks turn people off. I'm married have a child but want girlfriends to have coffee with. I'm not that ugly but look real young for my age and older people think I'm a kid and younger ones think I'm uncool. I dress ...
A. 29 July 2014: don't evaluate your life on social media numbers - three great real life friends are worth 3million online friends. I know nobody on facebook as I don't use it.
Be confident - that will make you look older (or rather closer to your age) and dres... (read in full...)
He was always happy to talk on the phone, but not so much for getting together in person
Q. I met a guy online 5 months ago and we went on our first date after about 3 weeks of chatting. We had a great time and it was clear we got on well. Soon after our first date, he started calling me every night and we would speak for over an hour ...
A. 29 July 2014: Hiya
Im sorry to hear of this situation but its very common with online dating. Im a strong advocate of Internet dating and met my previous partner through a well know free dating site. However the experience you describe is not uncommon... (read in full...)
How many times a week should I cycle? And for how long each day?
Q. I have been struggling with my weight for a while now, and for around about a year or so I have been trying to find effective ways to help me shed a few stone. I have always eaten rather healthil...
A. 28 July 2014: Loosing weight by cycling takes time and a lot of effort. Last year I started cycling to loose a stone which I achieved but it took months and around 1500 miles. Cycling is good exercise BUT its an efficient form of transport. So doing 25 miles by ... (read in full...)
My looks turn people off. Why wont people give me a chance? I'm lonely and I need friends
Q. My sad story here we go. My looks turn people off. I'm married have a child but want girlfriends to have coffee with. I'm not that ugly but look real young for my age and older people think I'm a kid and younger ones think I'm uncool. I dress ...
A. 28 July 2014: Hi
The perils of looking young...its a curse I know all too well. Im 36 and look about 19 and I HATE it.
Is the main issue your confidence relating to looking young and being held back from meeting new people out of fear they will patronize o... (read in full...)
Have no intention of replicating my taboo fantasies in real life. But is one of my fantasies too taboo to share with my Bf? What counselling could help me?
Q. To put it simply, I have a really bad kink that involves getting off on taboo fantasies. I've fantasized about strange things most other women don't such as picturing my boyfriend with another woman, and I have read incest erotica online, but NONE...
A. 26 July 2014: And how's the step daughter that he molested's rehab and heeling coming along? Sadly its usually the victims that heal the least.
You partner is a sex offender, a child abuser, someone most of us wouldn't want in the same country let alone ou... (read in full...)
He had a girlfriend but I let him take my virginity ....
Q. I met this guy almost a year ago, we became friends and started talking a bit. I started liking him but found out that he has a girlfriend so in my head I kind of labeled him as well just a friend even though I liked him. One day I dont even rem...
A. 26 July 2014: Sorry but you've been naïve. He has told you all the right thing to get you into bed and enjoy a willing, tight virgin...now he just wants you as a sexual plaything.
if he would sleep with you behind his Gfs back then what does that say about hi... (read in full...)
Did I make a mistake in breaking up with my boyfriend?
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend and I'm trying to figure out if it was a mistake or not. We'd been official for about three weeks, but we'd been seeing each other for almost 3 months. I broke up with him because about a year ago he dropped out ...
A. 26 July 2014: Hello,
I think you did the right thing. Getting mixed up in drugs is never a good idea and although some grow out of it, many end up becoming dependant or being stuck in a rut of hanging out with people who encourage a lack of ambition and drug... (read in full...)
Is there any way around this or should I consider ending this relationship because of the distance and our work commitments?
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship for a little over a year. We meet up half way every Friday evening and book into a hotel until Sunday evening. I love him dearly and I really enjoy being with him. I couldn't imagine my life without him in ...
A. 22 July 2014: Hi
There is a big difference between meeting someone every weekend and making the most of the time together sexually, passionately and emotionally, and actually living with someone or even having a normal steady relationship where you see every si... (read in full...)
I paid for the taxi on my back -- does that mean the end of my relationship?
Q. After an afternoon boozing I thought it wise to get a taxi home! However id ran out of money and couldn't really afford it! On the way home I explained this to the taxi driver who said I could always pay at the other end, however my boyfriend was...
A. 22 July 2014: What you did was foolish and you have put both your own health and that of your partner at great risk.
If you drink so much that you end up having sex with someone behind your partners back then you need to either seek help for the problem ... (read in full...)
My B/f seems to think I should be available to fit around his busy schedule. Am I being out of line?
Q. I'm looking for some advice on the argument I just had with my boyfriend please. He has been on vacation for 2 and a bit weeks, at a music festival in Spain. Before he left and during the course of him being away, I've asked him a couple of time...
A. 21 July 2014: I have been in the same situation myself and it stinks!
I had a GF who expected me to fit around her, she would mess me around, cancel plans at the last minute and would stick me on hold until she was willing to make time for me.
It made me fe... (read in full...)
SHould I date this guy even though my family says hes just after me for sex?
Q. So 4 weeks ago i started a new job and a co worker of mine has really taken a liking to me. I like him too, a lot, but I am 18 and he is 23. Now i know this is a very small age gap but i have a sister who's 22 and i have always said i refuse to date ...
A. 21 July 2014: Okay so four weeks after you met this guy who is a friend and already he knows your a virgin, want sex before marriage and want to loose your virginity to a man who loves you? Why would that information be offered to a co-worker within a month of ... (read in full...)
I am starting to mistrust him .....
Q. My bf slept over in my parents bed because they were away for business. I slept in my own room as we are old fashioned and are waiting for marriage (more his idea than mine). A week later he tells me he had a wet dream and messed up the sheets but ...
A. 20 July 2014: I understand where your coming from. Its not a lack of trust as in whether he is cheating, or lying or whatever, but rather you don't trust him to act with a bit of respect and foresight when staying over. Obviously you no longer "trust" him not to ... (read in full...)
I am starting to mistrust him .....
Q. My bf slept over in my parents bed because they were away for business. I slept in my own room as we are old fashioned and are waiting for marriage (more his idea than mine). A week later he tells me he had a wet dream and messed up the sheets but ...
A. 20 July 2014: Hi
This guy sounds like he has a problem. If he refuses to masturbate and is a virgin then he has no "outlet" for his semen which causes the wet dreams. Men need to ejaculate regularly for the purpose of removing excessive build of fluids, ... (read in full...)
I miss the "old him" so much
Q. I'm so torn, do people change or is it a case of a leopard never changes it's spots? Basically about 5 years ago I met this man through friends, we had a lot of friends in common and always seemed to be at the same events. I had a boyfriend though a...
A. 19 July 2014: Hi,
Its rare for men to change. Very rare.
You say you miss the old him but in reality you miss the version of him that you got to see before you started dating. When you were just friends you didn't get too close emotionally, you didn't see h... (read in full...)
We had sex and he told everyone! What should I do?
Q. Im 15 and about a month ago i had sex (i was a virgen) with my 17yr old bf bc i thought i loved him. He promised me tht no 1 would know no matter what but less than a week later he broke up with me bc he didnt want attachments bc hes goin to the ...
A. 19 July 2014: You have learnt a valuable lesson. If he was willing to have sex with an underage girl then clearly he is not worth having (assuming the age of consent is 16/18 in your part of the world).
He "persuaded" you to have sex when you were not ready an... (read in full...)
What kind of man lies like that?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for the last couple of years. The connection seemed to be undeniable. He committed to me giving me an expensive piece of jewelry. We connected on FB. After little time, I realized that the immense majority of his friends ...
A. 18 July 2014: DONT respond. Ignore him completely. Any response will feed his appetite further. Don't try to rationalize, persuade, discuss or communicate in anyway, shape or form.
Block his emails, or change your email address. Speak to your employer and tell... (read in full...)
Is there any way to find out if she has feelings for me without making our friendship awkward?
Q. I've known this girl Katie since I was 12 years old (she was 8). She was the younger sister to my best friend. As we got older the two of us became extremely close. We became best friend , hanging out every day after school, having sleep,overs with ...
A. 18 July 2014: To add to what I just wrote - this has gone on for over twenty years yes? Get in their quick before Katie thinks you will stuck in the dreaded friendzone for ever and ever!
Mark... (read in full...)
Is there any way to find out if she has feelings for me without making our friendship awkward?
Q. I've known this girl Katie since I was 12 years old (she was 8). She was the younger sister to my best friend. As we got older the two of us became extremely close. We became best friend , hanging out every day after school, having sleep,overs with ...
A. 18 July 2014: Well if she is lying in bed with you laughing what bigger clue do you need Sherlock?!
Go for it, she clearly sees you in the way you hope she does.
Mark... (read in full...)
Why would my sexy sext stranger mention marriage, of all things?
Q. A guy I met online (from far faaar away) and I have been texting/sexting for about 2 and a 1/2 weeks now. I'm new to sexting and find that I'm enjoying it immensly - we seem to be very compatible. However I don't expect anything more of this. It's ...
A. 18 July 2014: Im not really sure what your question is - You don't really think a guy you have known less than three weeks whom you have never actually met is seriously considering marrying you do you? Are you pulling our chain??
You don't know each other in... (read in full...)
His temper is threatening to spoil this relationship!!
Q. I'm so stuck with this. I don't know if I'm being over picky or if I'm being sensible. My partner of 2 years is brilliant. No, better than that, he's incredible! We met a few years ago through mutual friends and he made it obvious he liked me but ...
A. 18 July 2014: We get so many posts on here that say the same thing: "Apart from my boyfriends temper, aggression and frightening bouts of anger, he is perfect in every way, loves me deeply and does anything to help me."
Being scared of a partner is a deal bre... (read in full...)
What kind of man lies like that?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for the last couple of years. The connection seemed to be undeniable. He committed to me giving me an expensive piece of jewelry. We connected on FB. After little time, I realized that the immense majority of his friends ...
A. 3 June 2014: You just need to get rid, nothing more, nothing less. Its not actually that hard to get someone out of your life ;-)
This is guy is like a verruca - he will keep coming back until being removed! And as with any unwanted attachment, warts, ingrowin... (read in full...)
What kind of man lies like that?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for the last couple of years. The connection seemed to be undeniable. He committed to me giving me an expensive piece of jewelry. We connected on FB. After little time, I realized that the immense majority of his friends ...
A. 2 June 2014: He can only break you down if you let him. Clearly your co-worker has basically said that he has a reputation - we have all come across his type.
You need to block him. Simple. Stop responding to him. Otherwise he will break you down.
Mark... (read in full...)
What kind of man lies like that?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for the last couple of years. The connection seemed to be undeniable. He committed to me giving me an expensive piece of jewelry. We connected on FB. After little time, I realized that the immense majority of his friends ...
A. 26 May 2014: Oh dear - sounds like this guy is one of these men who finds out a woman's birthday, sends a card/gift and then offers more gifts and hopes you will give him a "gift", ahem, in return.
"When he tried to solidify the relationship, he asked th... (read in full...)
What kind of man lies like that?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for the last couple of years. The connection seemed to be undeniable. He committed to me giving me an expensive piece of jewelry. We connected on FB. After little time, I realized that the immense majority of his friends ...
A. 26 May 2014: Im afraid you have to realize you are one of many women who he is playing. The fact he bought you and expensive piece of jewellery at the start should have set off alarm bells im afraid. He is the kind of man who uses charm, manipulation and money ... (read in full...)
| *ark1978's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ark1978 has
added them and they have added *ark1978!
|
