| Latest articles: Online dating guide - with really good advice for you
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 June 2014: So why use Internet Dating? Over the last few years Internet Datings popularity has soared! There are now millions of us looking for love, romance and friendship online. Like so many aspects of life - shopping, banking, communicating with frie...
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Boyfriend won't fully commit and now ex is around. Should I be worried?
Q. I am very torn right now as to whether to break up with my boyfriend of a year and a half. Almost all of my friends now are very vocal that I should. He is selfish at times, has drank too much and most recently said he can see a future with me ...
A. 13 May 2014: All signs are there that this guy is just going through the motions. Firstly you need to consider if its a good idea to settle down with someone who has had, and probably will continue to have, a drink problem, is selfish, touchy feely with his e... (read in full...)
How to deal with a friend who is alway trying to out smart people?
Q. How to deal with a friend who feels like they are too smart for their own good? So I have this friend who is always trying to out smart someone and it is starting to annoy me. Is father was a business man in South Africa and the father is always...
A. 13 May 2014: He sounds very insecure. Having to win every argument, manipulate, etc. Clearly this guy has issues. Maybe he feels under pressure to be as good as his father and that makes him insecure and to keen to prove himself?
Maybe he thinks he is above ot... (read in full...)
Is this friendship appropriate?
Q. Hey. I have a little-big issue here. I've fallen for a girl way younger than me, she's 16 years old. She's extremely intelligent and mature, but at the same time she's a teenager, so she knows how things work but doesn't have a life plan and I know ...
A. 13 May 2014: Hi,
This girl is still very young compared with you. You are a grown man, an adult in your 20's, whereas she is still a child. I don't know what the age of consent is in your territory but here in the UK it is 16, with the age of reaching legal ad... (read in full...)
How do I distance myself from this woman who has a fiance?
Q. There's a woman I've known since we were 16 (we're 24 now) and I've always found her attractive, though we've never been close friends. Always just acquaintances. She was always in a relationship while I've always been highly focused on my care...
A. 12 May 2014: "...and she seems quite unhappy. (In passing, she's mentioned his hours are crap and he's very pessimistic.) " OP you need to bear in mind that anyone young who is soon to be married will naturally have doubts, worries, anxiety, etc. You also ne... (read in full...)
How can I stop my bf messing me around?
Q. Dear all.please advise.My bf of three years .has a nasty habit of messing me around .e.g I ask him what he is doing later on this evening.He says he doesn't know.I text him a bit later saying I thought he might like to come over.He texts back saying ...
A. 12 May 2014: Only you can get rid of this guy. Its gone way, way too far. You need to change your mobile phone number, your landline number, and only give your new numbers out to people you trust not to give it to him. Its not too hard to change a phone ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my bf messing me around?
Q. Dear all.please advise.My bf of three years .has a nasty habit of messing me around .e.g I ask him what he is doing later on this evening.He says he doesn't know.I text him a bit later saying I thought he might like to come over.He texts back saying ...
A. 12 May 2014: OP you sound like your in this guys pocket! Chasing him, putting up with so much crap, going round in circles, letting him treat you badly and hurt him. I think maybe you have lost sight of the fact that there are TWO of you in this relationshi... (read in full...)
I am struggling to see a future with my boyfriend
Q. I love my boyfriend more than anything but am struggling to see a future for us because of how useless he is with money. We earn roughly the same - take home about £1500 a month. I own a small house and manage to pay all my bills on my own and st...
A. 12 May 2014: You clearly are a responsible, mature, sensible adult. He is adolescent, feels he is "above" paying his fair share and is spoilt.
I read your question and assumed your BF was around 20...then I read that he is nearly 30! I live at home at 36 and t... (read in full...)
Social media has me questioning my life and place in the world!
Q. A lot of my peers (most of them,actually) have grown up with social media. I was always late with it, getting myspace and facebook years after my friends had theirs. I have lost touch after high school with many people cause I'm not very active ...
A. 12 May 2014: Hi Firstly I will address the situation regarding others happy occasions then I will respond to your social networking issue... Your aged 22-25. Your at an age of celebration: maybe not you personally but certainly your friends, brothers... (read in full...)
He threatens to break up because we haven't seen each other for a few days
Q. My boyfriend is mad because we haven't seen each other for a few days, what should I do ?. I last saw him on Wednesday. It was his fault that we didn't see each other on Thursday,and I was busy on Friday and Saturday. He sent me a text today, sa...
A. 11 May 2014: Well if he is 13 then put up with it, if he is an adult dump him for being so immature.
You don't need that kind of behaviour. ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend want me to act like a 14 year old boy?
Q. My boyfriend told me the other day that I'm not as much fun as he wishes I was. We go out to concerts, dinners, the occasional movie, and do things with our kids. He will usually have ideas of ways we can entertain our kids, but when it comes to ...
A. 11 May 2014: He wants you to act like a 14 year old because HE acts like a 14 year old.
Doing things like that with your kids is one thing, but on a night out with just the tow of you? Why doesn't he go the whole hog and buy you some dolls and bring his trai... (read in full...)
I am dating the boss's daughter and he is not happy about it!
Q. My gf and I have been dating for a few months now and her father is also my boss. When I first started working he was always going on about his "little girl" and I literally thought she was a 13 yr old girl not a 20 year old college student. I met ...
A. 11 May 2014: The best advice is not to mix business with pleasure. Hard enough when a relationship between too equals ends badly, let alone a relationship with the bosses daughter. You need to see this from HIS (her father/your boss's) point of view... He... (read in full...)
I've fallen for a guy at work, but I'm married
Q. I'm 54, married with children (grown up) and I've become obsessed with a guy at work who is younger than most of my children. I get on so well with him, but for some time my feelings toward him have become sexual. What the hell do I do??...
A. 11 May 2014: I have to take issue with the anonymous response... "...I think if he is discreet and you are too why not?? Just don't fall in love....have fun!" That advice is ridiculous! If the OP is married why jeopardize a marriage for the sake of a quick... (read in full...)
Is this feeling of competition something I should even consider or just ignore? Help!
Q. Hi all! Some thoughts and advice would be much appreciated! I am an artist and have struggled for a while to display my work in public or to even let anyone, including close friends, know that I am an artist. I don't know why though. An...
A. 10 May 2014: Maybe you take any criticism, no matter how kindly or constructively meant, badly and are too sensitive?
As an artist you need a very thick skin. Art is a very ambiguous thing. Not everyone "gets" a particular piece. Some types of art are very... (read in full...)
Does he like me? When I talk to him he acts so nervous and weird but he stares and does other things.
Q. There is a guy in my class that I think he likes me. First of all he stares at me, and he sits in places that I appear to be there in the class. And he just seem so loud and he sings and kind of show off in front of me. He stands next to me in ...
A. 10 May 2014: Yes he likes you but is scared of making a fool of himself if he tells you. Or he is scared of rejection.
Go chat him up and see what occurs. If you make it a little clearer that you know he likes you he will hopefully gain more confiden... (read in full...)
How can I stop my bf messing me around?
Q. Dear all.please advise.My bf of three years .has a nasty habit of messing me around .e.g I ask him what he is doing later on this evening.He says he doesn't know.I text him a bit later saying I thought he might like to come over.He texts back saying ...
A. 10 May 2014: This guy isn't ready for commitment, or responsibility. He is just stringing you along. Want you when it suits him and going off to doing something different at the drop of a hat.
Your at your wits end. You are frustrated. You are hurting.... (read in full...)
I accidentally sent my step-mom a sex message intended for my girlfriend!
Q. Okay. . .I know some of you will be tempted to think this a prank message and OH BOY I REALLY wish it was at the moment. My girlfriend and I got into "the mood" and decided to send sex messages and pics to each other. We were really getting i...
A. 10 May 2014: She's probably horny as hell now! ;-)
Seriously I wouldn't worry. Cringe-worthy but a genuine mistake. Its not like the message was particularly explicit or dirty. Maybe she hasn't read the texts yet? older people often don't use there phones a... (read in full...)
Why would a girl date me when she isnt over her ex?
Q. I have met a girl online and we are going on a date tomorrow i know I shouldn't but I have been looking at her online activity and I saw her boyfriend had broken up with her 1 month ago. I was looking more into it and she put online just hours ago ...
A. 10 May 2014: Whatever the whys and the wherefores, she is NOT over her EX. Getting together with her is probably not a good idea as she is still hurting, is not emotionally ready for commitment or a relationship and is still emotionally vulnerable. Realistic... (read in full...)
Do I need to have a serious conversation with him about his rough way of making love? And how should I raise the topic?
Q. I don't know what to do with this guy. I met someone 3 months ago. Really cute fun guy, But... The only thing I keep having problems with is how he has sex. He is a bit on a rough side. In addition he has large penis,which doesn't help the s...
A. 10 May 2014: If he is hurting you or making you bleed you NEED to stop this continuing. He may be a loving, considerate man in every other aspect of you relationship, but if he is inconsiderate and hurtful in bed then its a big problem. Some men, and women f... (read in full...)
Should I raise this issue or just accept that my Boyfriend does more than his fair share, financially, for his divorced mother?
Q. Recently I have realised just how much my boyfriend does for his mother and their family but I don't want to point it out to him because I know it will do no good. My boyfriend is three years younger and he still lives at home. His rent covers ...
A. 10 May 2014: "it annoys me so much that he works so hard for his money and his mother get's all the benefits." OP It Is for his benefit and that of his sisters too. He lives in that household so if a washing machine breaks he cant really come home with a new ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend watch chubby porn but not fancy chubby women in real life?
Q. I'm slim, my boyfriend tells me I'm sexy and he loves my body often. But I am slim and my breasts are an A to a B cup. I have a nice bum. However my boyfriend always looks at BBW porn. Not very big girls but chubby with big boobs. It's his go to ...
A. 9 May 2014: Porn is a form of escapism. Men often watch porn featuring women (or men) of a different race, age, size, shape, etc to what they would want in a real life situation.
What men enjoy porn wise, often has little or no bearing on what they would wa... (read in full...)
Will I be limiting my chances of having a Boyfriend considering that I don't like giving blow jobs?
Q. Will I have limited boyfriend chances unless I give blow jobs?? I don't mind hand jobs, but I'm not a person who feels comfortable with the idea of a penis in my mouth. I also don't particularly like the idea of a guy ejaculating on me, but I don't ...
A. 9 May 2014: some men don't like BJs, some men are not bothered either way. For most men it wont be a deal breaker.
semen can stain but usually washes out pretty easily. Yes it would be a bit awkward to run to the shower straight afterwards. Im sure most men... (read in full...)
I have a job, but not a role, should I quit or wait until I find another job or they fire me?
Q. it's not a relationship question but I don't know who else to ask. a few weeks ago my supervisor told the human resources he no longer wished to work with me (some sort of misunderstanding happened and he thinks I screwed up, which I didn't but he ...
A. 9 May 2014: Hi OP You cant rely on your parents forever and jobs are hard to find. Its even harder to find a job if you have been fired from your most recent employment, cant use your previous company to give you a good reference or leave every job you ha... (read in full...)
My husband requests fellatio all the time and not only that! What do you do when your husband denies you a sexual orgasm or intercourse if you don't do it first?
Q. I don't want to bash my husband or write insensitively of him but it has caused a little ripple in our marriage where it hasn't completely gone away. By continually asking for me to give him oral sex but it's not as bad as it was before when he kept ...
A. 9 May 2014: "I don't want to bash my husband or write insensitively of him" Well I do want to bash him with my words and be insensitive towards your husband because he deserves it! He is a selfish, abusive, emotional blackmailer. This had gone on so long ... (read in full...)
Give me some ideas to make him miss me and get excited about me again!
Q. I'm so depressed right now. There's so much trouble withmy boyfriend of 5 years. He's not the same with once we knew each other. He's busy with his friends and we are rarely see each other. How to make him miss me and excited about me again? ...
A. 9 May 2014: HI OP It sounds as if the two of you have drifted apart and he is no longer making much effort. To be honest this is very common in couples in there early to mid twenties who have been together since their teens. You have been with your BF fiv... (read in full...)
What to do about my husband's suggestions for my business?
Q. I am starting a business and I am the only person other than my husband trying to help me as an unpaid manager. He is a manager where he works and a good one at that. But, when it comes to my business he will suggest things such as taking an...
A. 9 May 2014: Hi OP Thanks for the follow up. It would be a good idea in future not to have your husband with you in situations where he might push you to the side and say "Oh yes Dorothy would really like a colour photocopier on a £1000 a month contract!... (read in full...)
Mum as wingman, good or bad idea?
Q. I hope this doesn't sound bad, but does anyone see anything wrong with going to places with your mother a lot ?. My mother and I have been to a lot of gigs together over the years. I am 30 and she is 55. I guess sometimes people can think that a ...
A. 9 May 2014: I think at 30 plus a parent/"child" relationship is very different from when we are younger. AS teenagers we are embarrassed at being seen out with our parents and as young adults feel like we are being shown up as immature if our parents pick us up ... (read in full...)
Are there any decent guys out there still? Will I ever find somebody normal?
Q. I'm a depressed, 32 year old female and I'm starting to wonder whether I will ever find a normal guy....I'm loyal, attractive, caring, trustworthy and I seem to end up with all of these guys that have 1 or more major issues. I know nobody is ...
A. 9 May 2014: OP you need to stop and think about what attracted you to these men in the first place and ask yourself if you are attracted to the same kind of person again and again. You need to have the confidence to recognise the red flags earlier on in a ... (read in full...)
I've fallen for a guy at work, but I'm married
Q. I'm 54, married with children (grown up) and I've become obsessed with a guy at work who is younger than most of my children. I get on so well with him, but for some time my feelings toward him have become sexual. What the hell do I do??...
A. 9 May 2014: This is likely to end very badly if your not careful. If you end up sleeping, or getting involved, with this younger guy and your husband finds out then that will cost you your marriage, will hurt your grown up children and as he is younger than ... (read in full...)
I thought all men liked giving anal sex! Is he a weirdo?
Q. Am a bit confused about the situation am in it also may sound a bit silly. I have been with my partner now for 7-8 years now and I should think i know him but.... When we got together ok we experimented with each other in the bed room department and ...
A. 8 May 2014: I have never had anal, neither would I want it. Im 36 and have been sexually active for 20 years and never even wanted to try it. Not because of some "its dirty/will it make me gay" attitude, far from it, but its just not for me.
Anal sex can ... (read in full...)
Should I go for it, the fourth time around?
Q. Should I go for it, the 4th time around? I went yesterday for girls night out and met someone I dated and we broke it off 3 times already. I didn't see him for about a year. It started with one night stand, and then we continued going out and ...
A. 8 May 2014: "I am at the age (29) when I am seriously thinking of settling down and have a family." I would stop and think very carefully about settling down and having kids with someone that you have split with, argued with and so forth so many times. One ... (read in full...)
What to do about my husband's suggestions for my business?
Q. I am starting a business and I am the only person other than my husband trying to help me as an unpaid manager. He is a manager where he works and a good one at that. But, when it comes to my business he will suggest things such as taking an...
A. 8 May 2014: Hi, Im sure your husband means well, but I think he needs to understand that his strengths clearly lie elsewhere. He is clearly keen for your business to take off big time and its great that he supports and encourages you as many husbands would n... (read in full...)
Is it safe or a good idea to go clubbing on my own?
Q. Is it safe or a good idea to go clubbing on my own? All my friends are settled or far away. If i want a night out i have to go on my own I have done it a few times i feel like people are looking at me thinking im pathetic with no friends or im a ...
A. 8 May 2014: A lot of men will spot a woman coming into and leaving a club alone a mile off. Most of them will offer to "protect you", "look out for you" or "make sure your safe"...obviously with an alterior motive! I would avoid it for your own safety. Plus... (read in full...)
I am fed up of arguing about her wanting breast enlargement surgery!
Q. Hi everyone, I need some advice on a frustrating situation that I am in. About 7 months ago I had a breast enlargement. At 22 I was fed up of feeling self conscious, unhappy and miserable about my body. I never ever developed more than buddin...
A. 8 May 2014: You say that your boyfriend says he loves you regardless of your breast size or whether or not you had implants? That's great and Im sure that comforting and nice to know, yes? Then treat your friend the same way you would want your ... (read in full...)
I have started to really like this guy who is 3 years older and has a girlfriend but has been really nice to me, but now I'm confused!
Q. I have started to really like this guy and he is three years older than me I am 15 soon to be 16, he has a girlfriend but recently has been texting me and being really nice and leaving kisses,and at first I only thought of him as a friend but now ...
A. 8 May 2014: "I know you all think I'm in like denil or whatever but I can't actually explain to you his personality because he is totally different" You THINK he is totally different because he SEEMS to you to be charming, popular, well liked, kind, con... (read in full...)
I need ex-boyfriend advice: will he change if I stop answering his calls?
Q. my ex bf and I have been playing this back and forth game for a while now. he says he does not want to get back in a relationship and he does not want commitment, I do. but yet he continues to call me and not let me go and move on whyyy? will he ...
A. 8 May 2014: "my ex bf and I have been playing this back and forth game for a while now"
Is he your Ex or not? If so tell him to stop contacting you and move on. Otherwise this "game" will drag on until you agree to meet him, get back with him or sleep wi... (read in full...)
I have started to really like this guy who is 3 years older and has a girlfriend but has been really nice to me, but now I'm confused!
Q. I have started to really like this guy and he is three years older than me I am 15 soon to be 16, he has a girlfriend but recently has been texting me and being really nice and leaving kisses,and at first I only thought of him as a friend but now ...
A. 8 May 2014: "everyone knows he loves his girlfriend to bits and he would never cheat on her" Really? then why is he flirting with you? Just because he comes across as Mr Wonderful and Honest doesn't mean he actually is wonderful and honest. That's a lesson for ... (read in full...)
I have started to really like this guy who is 3 years older and has a girlfriend but has been really nice to me, but now I'm confused!
Q. I have started to really like this guy and he is three years older than me I am 15 soon to be 16, he has a girlfriend but recently has been texting me and being really nice and leaving kisses,and at first I only thought of him as a friend but now ...
A. 7 May 2014: okay so you are a 15 year old child, he is an 18 year old man. Firstly it is not appropriate for a grown man, an adult, to flirt or have any kind of relationship with a girl of 15. No matter how mature and grown up you think you are OP it is still ... (read in full...)
My friend expects a lot from me, is she just using me?
Q. Okay, so lately I've been feeling like people are using me, for the past year I've been constantly paying this that my friend need because she has no income and I feel mean when I'm getting thing, but lately she's been weird with me and expecting ...
A. 7 May 2014: AmyMc21 why are you chasing this looser? Move one and find a decent friend to confide in. You need to appreciate that some people look, sometimes subconsciously, for others who are keen to talk about there troubles and problems in order to use that ... (read in full...)
In an LDR for 3 years, we rarely see each other, and have had sex 3 times! She says she loves me but I'm not sure she wants to be with me. What should I do?
Q. Hello.I am a 31 year old guy and I have been in a relationship with a younger woman for the past 3 years.We live around 100 miles from one another but have kept things going but I rarely ever see her and in those 3 years she has come up to see me ...
A. 7 May 2014: "She lives with her Mother and her Mother has assured me there is nonody else too." Erm I dont want to sound a bit blunt but if you have to ask your GFs mother where you stand then I think you need to get real and see that this so called relati... (read in full...)
My friend expects a lot from me, is she just using me?
Q. Okay, so lately I've been feeling like people are using me, for the past year I've been constantly paying this that my friend need because she has no income and I feel mean when I'm getting thing, but lately she's been weird with me and expecting ...
A. 7 May 2014: Give people and inch and they take a mile as they say. Ditch this user right now is my advice!! If you don't learn to say no to people then you will attract so called friends who use, abuse and generally take advantage. The sad thing is that it... (read in full...)
My ex's mum messaged me and I'm not sure if or how I should respond!
Q. Today my ex's mother has facebook messaged me. It is the first time I have heard from her, and I was relatively close to his family, so am not sure whether to respond or how. The message was nice, she was sorry to hear about us breaking up, she ...
A. 7 May 2014: I agree with anonymous 123...it may be an attempt to get you and her son back together or she may be under pressure from her son to find out your business. Does seem a bit odd to be honest. Clearly he was unable to accept the situation and acted In ... (read in full...)
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