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female
,
anonymous
writes: I recently had a baby about 4 months ago. I appreciate what my body has done to bring my baby into the world but I just feel really unsexy now that I droop and hang and have all the stretch marks. My bf says he still finds me sexy but he looks at other women out in public, on tv and the web, so I find it hard to believe. Does anyone have any advice on how to get past all these negative feelings about my body and how to learn to live with it? Because I'm at a loss and I can't go on feeling this way. I used to have high self esteem and it's kiling me.
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self esteem, stretch marks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2005): thank you all for the advice
A
male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (19 December 2005):
 Right on KellyO, even us men joined Gym because our bodies need to look better for someone else. Problem is that shouldn't we all be the one's our bodies are good enough for?. Fitness is another issue. Good luck. Ed
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A
female
reader, Sarita +, writes (19 December 2005):
 I agree with KellyO. You can recover your old figure quickly!
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A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (19 December 2005):
 dear, i know its always difficult going back to shape after child birth.
What i suggest u should do is join a gymn. U seem like u r really determined to do this and i know that before u know it ur body will be looking bootylicious again. I used to weigh 78kg myelf and my bf at the time behaved exactly how yours doing now. i am now 65kg. I lost my weight in two months.doesnt take much time really.i worked hard for this and u can too. I incorporated alot of vegetable in my diet and did alot of exercise to burn down the fats. Pls dont ever starve yourself to loose weight that never works.U can get a fitness trainer to help if u can afford that.
There also creams to reduce strength marks. i used to have them myself when i lost weight.
Talk to your bf and let him know how u feel.he should be really supportive now. He could even help watch the baby while u go for ur exercise.
All the best dear.
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A
female
reader, lorel +, writes (19 December 2005):
Sorry Im probably not much help here but my husband does the same (without the compliments your h gives) The truth came out only 7yrs after my last baby. he admitted that he used porn because he found my body less attractive due to stretch marks and my breasts not being as perky as a 20yr old porn star. I am actually in the process of leaving.
My advice for what its worth....dont waste 7yrs like I did. Confront him , find out how he really feels and ask him if he still finds you to be the sexiest woman around and if so why look at other women. Let his answer be the determinant as to whether to stay or go....God men are so superficial it makes me sick
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