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female
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*adjelli
writes: I'm 32 and divorced and in a relationship but.....a guy I met a few weeks into my new relationship keeps popping up in my life. I'm sad to say that I have cheated with this guy twice in the last few months and then we called it off. However in the last few days we have been texting again and are planning on meeting this week. He is in a new relationship. We have both acknowledged that when we first met 18mths ago there was a real connection between us but due to circumstances we haven't been able to actually form a proper relationship. I have never ever had feelings or an instant connection with anyone before and this is just doing my head in. The first time I saw him and our eyes met it was like o my god he's the one! Now I'm not one to get into all that soppy stuff but man o man this is crazy!
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male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (20 December 2005):
 Think about this young lady if you really think that you two will ever really trust each other when both of you have cheated on your current FLINGS then you are sad. Once a cheater always a cheater. So as for love at first sight sure I believe in it and I found it; but I'll be dam if I'm going to cheat to get into a relationship with someone that I KNOW cheated on his/her partner. Besides, that's gross knowing you slept with their partner too. How can you actually go home and be with your partner after you do something like that. I don't know maybe you justified this to your satisfaction. Personally you should dump both of them for their sake and just redeem yourself and start all over. You really need to slow down and find yourself before you think about love at first sight, think about loving yourself and respecting yourself. No I ain't no saint but if you can't control yourself better than that then I am at least a preacher. Good Luck. Ed
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (19 December 2005):
 Love at first site is not the point. u should sit down and think bout what u want in a relationship why are entangling yourself in web here, do u want to get hurt?
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (19 December 2005):
 No, sorry. What's going on here is pure chemical attraction. Not to say that's a bad thing, per se, but "love" it ain't. Your cheating on your partner(s) is bringing down the tone of your relationship quite a lot too.
If you really think he's "the one" (and if you persist in believing that a human population of 6,000,000,000+ people could only yield one good match, then you're easily deluded), then both of you need to quit the relationships you're in, and be together, full stop. None of these cheapie excuses about "the circumstances" that either of you is in... That's just a way to avoid making a choice. Either you're perfect for each other, and you find a way to just be with your perfect match, or you both admit that it's just that the pheromones are hot and heavy and just have sex. (You still should break up with any current partners, though, if that's your decision.)
It's no wonder that you're doing your head in over this; you're doing everything backwards! YOu're cheating with him first, then trying to justify your behaviour because of the attraction. Look at the relationships that both of you are in. Would being with your new guy be better or worse? (Remember that the chemical attraction blows over in about 12 months, so there best be something else going for you both *besides* good sex.)
Quit cheating on your current partners. That's just selfish. Make a decision with what you want to do long term. Then do it.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (19 December 2005):
 Good God Woman take a breath. Sheesh... slow down and think. You really just need time to think things out..what's the rush?
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (19 December 2005):
 Its probably more like lust at 1st sight.How can you be in love with him when you had cheated on him twice? Maybe where you had a gap on not seeing him you probably have started to appreciate him more,they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder.I would just take it slowly and see what happens.In time you will know for sure whether you are in love with him or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2005): i'm 14 and i know quiet a lot about sex lifes you should'nt cheat in the first place it's wrong i mean think wat would happen if your partner found out really when you cheat on somebody you're just finkin bout yourself just tell this guy that you just wanna be friends and dnt hav sexwiv him im sure your partner loves you very much and i'm sure that this guy you had an affair with i'm sure his partner loves him to make the rite choice...please
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