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Worried over my exam grades-are my future career prospects in jeopardy?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 December 2005) 3 Answers - (Newest, 7 January 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Please help me. I am 13 years old, about to take my SAT's exams, and in a year, my GCSE's.

We recently had a maths test in school, a mock SAT's paper, and I did very badly, 25 out of 60, everyone else was getting in the 50's. I am so worried about my upcoming exams because I am not up to the standard of people in my class, and I am scared in case I get really low grades.

I know I need good qualifications to get a decent job when I am older, and I am worried about that because I don't think I can get the qualifications to get a well-paying job.

The worst thing is, because I am in the top classes for everything, people think I am clever and expect a lot of me.

I am very worried that when I do the exams and recieve low grades, people will be disappointed in me, and I don't think I will get the good career I long for. I try my best and I study hard, so telling me to study more won't help. Please help me, this website is my only hope. Thank you in advance, your advice is appreciated more than you think.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2006):

your S.A.T's results only determine what groups you are put in, not what grades you will recieve in your G.C.S.E's. Aslong as you try your best everything will be ok =]

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A female reader, Bev Conolly Australia +, writes (20 December 2005):

Bev Conolly agony auntDon't panic too much. Although there's a lot of pressure put on students to do well on your exams, most of that is simply to nudge the low-performing kids into studying.

On the actual day of the exams, you need to concentrate and do as well as you can. Sweating, worrying and hyperventilating over what "might" happen won't help you perform at your optimum level, so what other option is there?

So take deep, calming breaths. Logic out what could happen:

Best-case scenario: you ask for, and receive, after-school mentoring to help you clear the blocks to your understanding the principles behind the maths. You take the exam. You surprise yourself with your score and ultimately you attend the university of your choice. (Yay! Except... simply attending - even graduating from - a great university doesn't guarantee a good career, or more importantly, a happy life. So things could still go awry when you're 18 or 22 or 35, right? Hey, that's Life. We deal.)

Worst-case scenario: For whatever reason, you fail to succeed on the exams and don't get to attend the prestigious and expensive University you'd planned on, at least not right away. It happens. And again, believe it or not, if it does, you'll deal.

OK, so what *do* you do? You attend a bridging course at the uni whilst going part-time to tech college. Or you re-take the tests and apply again the next semester. Or you reassess your goals and decide if going to university is really the key to what you want. Maybe you do two years in a "junior college", get a diploma and transfer... Or maybe you enrol in a private college and do intensive courses. Maybe you do a traineeship or an apprenticeship while you decide where your interests and talents lie.

Do you see? My point is that your life at this time is not a single-lane road, leading in one direction to Happiness and Success Everlasting, and in the other to Doom, Darkness and Poverty.

If you miss this "bus", as it were, you can catch the next one. I speak from ample experience! There are plenty of other options to get you to where you want to be and there's plenty of time to do it. ESPECIALLY if you're a canny young kid, bright enough to do her SAT at 13.

It's a mistake to live your life afraid of exploring alternatives or of asking for assistance because of what "other people" might think of you. I can promise that in 5 years, you won't even remember the names of those Other People, much less remember why they loomed so large in your own plans for your own adult future. Ask for help - right now! - so you can get cracking on the study. Don't worry about your reputation as the brainy kid. Would you rather have the rep, or actually BE that kid?

Get some coaching if you can (even ask your instructor if he/she can recommend someone, because there are lots of undergraduates who will tutor to help pay the rent), revise on the basics as much as you can, and practice keeping calm, so that you're relaxed and focussed on the day of the actual exam.

Everything else is in the lap of the gods, but don't worry. If you don't succeed to the level you want to, it's really not the end of Life As We Know It. Hard to believe that, but it's true... I'm middle-aged now, but I was once like you. I was the brightest girl in my class, but dirt poor and clueless. All the same, I went to uni I dreamed of when I was 15 -- not because I did so well on my exams (good, but not excellent), but because I sought out alternatives to get to where I wanted to be.

There's always an alternative! Find yours and you'll be fine.

Good luck!

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A female reader, kellyO United Kingdom +, writes (20 December 2005):

kellyO agony auntDear, firstly i must commend u for u writing skills your letter seems really coherent for a 13 yr old.

I can probably help u abit becos i used to have the same problem in school and i also taught for awhile in a volunteer program after my first degree in the university to help high school kids in africa who obviously were in a poorer state that you.

You see i used to be very bad in maths when i was in my earlier yrs right bout ur age group and i was almost asked to repeat one level once. i was promoted on trial though but i was told that if i didnt improve i would have to go back one step. But u see now i am an engineer and i have even started my phd program.

The first thing i did was to get close to the brainy student in class. i would ask my friends questions even though i was shy and embarrased and they were some of them who would mock me.I decided to draw closer to the friendly ones. I also got my teacher and my older family members involved. That same class i was not only promoted but i came third. All the teachers and even my parents were shocked.if i can do it so do u.dont be shy to ask questions when u dont know.The more u hide the fact u have problems the more they pile up.U can even get an extra tutor if your parents can afford it.

Another thing is that u have to make maths your best friend. When u have a problem u embraced it. Study it even if it bores u and after sometime u will discover its secret.When u r reading and u feel u dont understand put it down do some activities and then come back to it again.

Finally u have to work hard. There is no other secret to sucess.

Wish u all the best dear.Take care and keep us posted.

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