A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I think the media hypes love by saying there's someone for everyone, don't give up on love. etc. NOT everyone finds love. I think society just says this to make people who've been hurt feel better, as well as to encourage procreation and sell their hallmark and Valentine's Day cards.Seriously, do you believe there's even someone for the man who only a mother could love??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2013): I do think there is someone for everyone. But that doesn't mean they will find each other (in this life anyway).
A
female
reader, Staceily  +, writes (17 July 2013):
 I have no doubts that everyone can find someone. If the person isn't trying, mopes around, or is miserable to be around then he may end up alone. But if he wants to find someone and tries to find someone he can.There are far too many undateable looking and socially inept, messed up, backwards people out there who still find someone for it to be impossible for anyone. Now if it is the romantic cliched crap you see in movies, very doubtful. But everyone can find someone. Just maybe not "the one". To be honest you sound like someone who just had their heart broken or have been single for awhile and have given up. If you let things like that dominate your thoughts you could very well end up alone, so I suggest being hopeful and putting yourself out there in whatever way you feel comfortable with people who are like minded and have the same interests you do. Don't change who you are or be a fake person. Just figure out your interests and meet people through them. And don't bother looking for the fairy tale love you see on TV and stupid greeting cards, real life is quite different.
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (17 July 2013):
With so many people in this world, I really do believe it's possible for anyone to find love. But you have to be an active participant in the searching and that's what holds up most of the unlucky ones. Do you put yourself out there for that person to notice you? Do you have hobbies that bring you in contact with people? Do you go out? Do you socialize. You need to meet people in order to find someone suitable.
At the same time, you need to make sure you don't broadcast a desperate 'DATE ME' vibe. Don't view romance as the missing piece to your happiness. Putting that on someone else is serious pressure. Instead, see it as the cherry on top. Something extra. If you can go through life with that mindset you'll sooner find people who like to share their life with you. But again, it's up to you to put yourself out there.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 July 2013):
 Seriously, yes there is even someone for the man who only a mother could love. I’m married to one of those and not even his mother loved him. His grandmother did. He’s a whack-a-loon but he’s mine. I’m not wrapped too tight either to be honest.
BTW he is not my first husband…. So I’ve found love lots of times. I’m not rich, or famous or that smart or that gorgeous. And yet to my partner I am all those things.
Sounds to me like you set your goals and sights on something or someone not obtainable by yourself… are you actively wanting a relationship now? What are you doing to find one?
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female
reader, Intrigued3000 +, writes (17 July 2013):
 Love does not always exist as it does in a nice, romantic movie where everything works out in the end. Love is a very personal experience and we all find it in different places, sometimes in the most imperfect situations.
I have a friend who found love with a married man. They were together for over 25 years until she died. She swore that he was the love of her life, even though he was married to someone else.
I have another friend whose husband left her and her kids after 20 years of marriage for a younger woman. She is now 57 years old and found the love of her life when she turned 50. He is a younger man. They are so good together. They're best friends, lovers, world travelers, work on home projects together. She said she has never been more fulfilled in a relationship.
The experience of love itself is perfect, but the situations surrounding it are not always neat and tidy as it is portrayed by the media. Sometimes movies like "Revolutionary Road" give us insight into what really happens behind closed doors, and what people will do to keep up appearances, when the truth is that they are living unauthentic, unfulfilled lives.
I think there is someone for everyone, but the person does not always appear when we are young, or when we are both single or when we live in the same geographical area. I think that cupid has a wicked sense of humour when he decides to cast his arrows:)
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (17 July 2013):
 I do not believe there is only ONE for each of us. I DO believe that EVERYONE can find someone that can share their lives and happiness.
It's about putting yourself out there, learning from past mistakes, looking at the glass as half full, knowing what you want and living life.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2013): it is really difficult to say if there is one person for everyone because if it is true, how come some people will find true love more than once and others finds non? do you know what I mean?Same thing is about marriage, some people will marry, others might marry more than once and others don't marry at all. Do we really have a destiny, something like a plan in life or are we just floating around. I agree with you the media talks a lot about love, relationships and finding a purpose in life etc. I think love and relationship is based more on having luck or not having any luck in life. You can be kind, caring, loving, not selfish, helpful, ready for commitments, ready to compromise and on top of all this good looking but you are alone and you don't even know why?Just don't believe cliches people like to say, you know something like: "oh you will know when the right person comes along "or "oh you will fall in love when you less expect it !!" Those are cliches from people who are/ were lucky enough to find love falling into their lap without any efforts. I have been there myself, i heard it all. Just be yourself, be open, don't be shy, be out there and let nice ladies know you are available and interested when you are. Go out on dates and have fun. If things work out, that is great if they don't keep trying and enjoy the moments. All the best and good luck.
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reader, kellyO  +, writes (16 July 2013):
 Hi Anom,
I do believe everyone can find love if they believe. I think some people give up on love too quickly and even when love is stirring at them straight in the face they cant seem to see it.Some people find love and then loose it which makes them give up completely on love.
Some people find love more easily than others.This is the same with everything in life as most people need to strive hard to find the right job, the right house and the right patner. Some people have the right job fall on their laps.I had a friend who was from a very rich family he got a high paying job before he even graduated from collges and before the rest of us in his class.But at the moment we are doing equally well.I was also the last to get married among my friends i got married in my mid-30s and most of them got married in their mid-20s but still most of us are equally happy. My grand mother always says it is not only the first to start running that finishes the race. You just have to continue to running to stay in the race and you will be sure to finish.you will there in the finish line.
Goodluck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2013): Honey, I'm very ugly and I still found someone who loves me. I'm not one of those girls who just thinks she's ugly, either. I genuinely am. My face is noticeably asymmetrical. I look completely different on one side than I do the other. I would not be considered beautiful, or even average by most men. I can't tell you the number of times I've been rejected in the past. But my husband says I'm beautiful, because in his eyes I am. He thinks I look really unique, and he likes that. He would do anything for me, he's proved it many times. If I can find someone, I have faith you will too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2013): Yes. There is someone for everyone. The point is, you have to make yourself available and be receptive to people who show their interest in you.
My friend, people create too many artificial and superficial
images in their heads of what they would consider to be the
"Perfect Mate." They design a sketch in their mind of how that perfect mate should look. How they should talk, and the way they should think. That's normal. Not practical.
However; our technology has taught us to believe people are like cars. You can find them with all the amenities and special options. So people pass up real people looking for a dream. Never mind if they even really deserve them; it's their perception of the kind of person they believe will make "them" totally happy. Uhm...it actually should go both ways!
Everyone seeks beauty and perfection. Even human-trolls with three eyes and a hump. Sometimes the person right for us is over-looked; because we didn't see the image of a model in a magazine. So quite often, pretty people automatically assume they're dating down, if they don't find someone as pretty. It ain't just about looks!!!
Even if some folks go through hundreds of failed relationships, their ego will not allow them to try just a sweet loving average person. The smart ones throw their hands up in the air, and on their final attempt, find that great person. Who just turned out to be very ordinary, but the best person they ever shared feelings with.
If you're not open and you're programed to find a type, you
dismiss those who don't fit the mold. Even if it's the mold of something totally opposite of what you need.
As an mature adult, my experience has taught me to seek good qualities and character in a person; and not to place too much emphasis on the packaging. I like anyone else, want someone attractive and healthy. That's only natural.
However; I take care of myself, so I can maintain a healthy level of self-esteem. I work on who I am, so I don't spend a lot of time judging other people above my own standard of behavior.
If you date frequently and for the right reasons you will find there is someone for everyone.
If you don't really know yourself, you don't know who is right for you. If you're needy and desperate, you'll just settle for anything with a pulse. Some of the main causes most people don't find the right person. They simply give up out of frustration.
If you're broken and misguided, the only one right for you, is you. You need to get a grip; and work on yourself, to love yourself first. You need not subject other people to the mess you are.
All this stupid crap about anxiety disorders and depression; stems from people avoiding the truth about life and about themselves. If life isn't perfect, it isn't liveable. If people aren't perfect, they can't deal with humanity. Give them a pill and lock them away for safety.
This does not include those with chemical imbalances in the brain, that is beyond their control. Nature dealt a tough blow.
God help people who think life is only liveable if you're happy 24/7.
If you believe there is someone out there for you, you'll find them, because you're mind is open to the concept. By self-fulfilling prophecy, you will guide yourself to your goal. You will find that special person.
Here's a dose of reality. Nearly everyone is on a mission for a soul-mate. Look, you may have to try on a few pairs of shoes to find the ones that fit. Same with people.
You have to live with a few people. Love a few people. Then decide, after trial and error, what you are really adaptable to. What personality traits you are willing to compromise for.
Knowing who you are, helps you to know what you're not compatible with. However; sometimes you still need to enjoy the incompatible just to know the difference. You also need some cheap thrills so you don't live in a rut. Just don't get too hung-up on bad-boys and bad-girls. They destroy everything positive in your life. They're only good for sex.
If they're rich or good cooks, it makes up for a few things.
Happy outgoing people who enjoy being single; usually date for the fun of it. They have a positive outlook, and at some point they may settle down. Their positive approach is born of the fact they realize they don't need other people to make them happy. They are also more open to a variety of types and are less judgmental. That is a healthy way of thinking and you increase your options.
If you feel there is no one for you; than you must stop to introspect. Ask yourself why you would feel there would be no one for you on a planet populated with billions of people?
If you go to the grocery store, and they say they have no bananas, do you give up looking for bananas? You accept they aren't available at this location, and try somewhere else.
Unfortunately, there is no one for a quitter or a person who is cynical and has a bad attitude. They are better off alone; because they have nothing positive to offer anyone.
They are their own prisoners, and they have a calloused heart. That is because they don't believe in themselves; nor humanity. They should remained imprisoned in their own cynicism; because they are nay-sayers and messengers of doom. They're good subjects for books, plays, and movies.
They're miserable lovers.
Nerdy people who only know life through a digital device, are usually shy; but sweet people. They hide and make the world a better place from their hideouts; but if only we could draw them out. They too could appreciate humanity more, and realize that their gifts and awkwardness is also an attractive human trait.
Bullies relegate most shy and wonderful people to hiding from mainstream society; because they're stupid, and feel challenged or threatened by ordinary mild-mannered people. Stupid stands out in a bad way. Like a huge zit. Don't blame anyone else for that. Picking on someone less likely to fight back has no logic; but we miss out on loving people who are afraid to be out in the open to be noticed, appreciated, and loved. They avoid prejudice and ridicule.
By hiding, they lose their ability to interact and mingle with the rest of us. So they feel they can't find love. They frequently write dearCupid, but they can't find the inner-courage to face "rejection." Rejection is something that repels them from those who live out in the open.
There is someone for everyone who is willing to make themselves available to be found, appreciated, and loved. Those with an open-mind, and an open-heart. People who believe in life and humanity, even though we are not perfect. People who have something positive to give, and people who can love good people, for being good people.
Even bad people can find someone to care about them. They are only deserving of love; if they purposely change and become good people, because they truly want to be.
Not everyone is looking for someone; but every soul wants to be loved.
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female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (16 July 2013):
Dear OP,
I believe that some people are more compatible partners than others and they have more opportunities to find love. And I used to think that some people just aren't made for love. But throughout my life I've been surprised a lot! I see people finding partners after decades of being single, people I've completely lost hope for. Like, people with serious mental disorders or physical handicaps, people with low social skills, people who never had someone until they were around 40 years old.. So, while I'm saying it's okay not to blindly believe in "someone for everyone", I'd also say it's sometimes less hopeless than it seems.
You're right that romantic love is somehow hyped by media and there are often unrealistic expectations about it. It won't magically turn you into a happy person, it's not a cure for all illnesses and it's not the purpose of life. But still it's really nice to have someone by your side, to develop a deep relationship and trust, share your feelings and sexuality. I can live without it but I still miss it sometimes.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (16 July 2013):
Even convicted serial killers find love.
With some people it just takes more patience as well as a willingness to hear the word "no" enough times to get to a yes.
If you are having bad luck with women (or no luck) and you're not making moves than you very well could be alone the rest of your life.
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