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How can I get to know new people when I can't even tell them what job I do?!

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Question - (3 August 2013) 7 Answers - (Newest, 4 August 2013)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My job is highly confidential so I can not really discuss it with people. Nothing illegal dont worry! But when you meet ppl it is the first thing you get asked! I dont know what to say as I dont like lying. I may say I freelance to which they may say doing what. Or may say I do alot of stuff and they pry more!

I really dont know what to say without being rude to everyone I meet. Ppl are nosey! Help?

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A female reader, kellyO United Kingdom +, writes (4 August 2013):

kellyO agony auntMaybe you could find out how your other colleagues handle this issue? Try to find out what they say? Maybe you can do the same.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (4 August 2013):

Honeypie agony auntAsk your employer what to say?

I agree with iAmHereToHelpYou, there should be a "layman's term" for your job as well

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2013):

I'm not aware of too many types of legitimate employment that can't be explained. I don't think it would be in the best interest of national security to publicize if you're a spy.

Why don't you ask one of your senior colleagues how to handle it?

People in sensitive lines of work are trained; and now how to conceal what they do, and still be open and honest.

Maybe you shouldn't be socializing with average people; if you have to be so secretive.

Women you may wish to date have a right to know who they're dealing with, for their own safety.

I'm not so sure you're on the level. I think you're trying to find a way to dodge admitting what you do, because you're ashamed of it. Just my thinking.

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A female reader, Got Issues United Kingdom +, writes (3 August 2013):

Got Issues agony auntPeople are nosy, it's true, but I think you see curiosity as nosiness because you know you can't tell them. Can't you just make up something vague, like being in marketing or sales or HR or something of a company? Maybe find out first what the other person does so that you don't say the same job as they do, in case they start asking you awkward questions.

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A female reader, sneha09 India +, writes (3 August 2013):

sneha09 agony auntTell a white lie...make story..Like you are an it professional,working with different country.....yes...if you come close and you think in future you can be good friends or more than that,then only admit what your lie..else go on with it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2013):

Say exactly what you told us: that your job is highly confidential...people should get that, if not, they don't matter. Only when you have people in your circle of trust can you even consider telling them more. For your own safety and to comply with your confidential job.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2013):

Just tell them you work as an undercover cop and if you have to tell them more, you'll have to kill them. Than laugh heartily and change the subject.

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