A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a white southwestern european woman that has been in this country for almost all my life - I wasn’t born here but I am very Americanized and do not relate to my cultural upbringings (Balkan peninsula area) - I did all my education in the states from middle school all the way to college At a glance I appear to fit in and have by birth a biblical name and a somewhat common last name(it doesn’t sound super foreign)Although I love this country I have a hard time talking about my past and talking about where I come from. I dealt with racism and ignorance in my childhood and this year at work it has sort of crept up. One of the big bosses I guess when I mentioned where I was from was joking about “chain migration” and how our president is going to end that( that is how I came here my grandfather) immigrated from Europe during the holocast. I have also had coworkers ask me oh where are u from constantly - which makes me feel like why!? I say this Bevause I have had people growing up mock my upbringing and mock my values etc. in a way these people have almost made me be embarrassed of who I am - this saddens me Am I being over sensitive? I would like to feel more comfortable about where I am from but I feel like I have to hide especially with today’s news! The derogatory comments I received as a child really hurt me so in the work place I have completely shut off Does anyone have any advice on dealing with ignorance ? When I meet people I never came what their skin color is or their ethnic background - so I don’t play detective and try to figure them out. Cause I don’t think it should matterThis is a hard issue for me and any tips would be appreciated - I don’t believe I have an accent (at least people) haven’t noticed much but it makes me scared in meetings to talk.. I always fear like omg what if I sound like I can’t pronounce things and what if they mock me and I misinterpreted a meaning to soemthing .. it’s this paranoia that has crept up on me and I feel I just shut off I am very Americanized and sometimes too foreign for back home but feel that somehow I am always somehow standing out Any tips ?
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (5 November 2018):
 I worked outside my home country for almost 10 years before i returned back home. I was in a similar situation i believe some people are naturally curious while some are not and make offensive remarks like "why you dont go back to your country instead of taking our job" or " where are you from and when do you plan to return home" For me i choose not to take the offensive remarks seriously or let it affect me. infact i ended up educating someone that made an offensive remarks and we were good buddies before i left.To be honest It wasn't an easy road for me and i felt exactly as you felt but i learnt to shrub it off.
People face discrimination all the time even within the same country, try not to let it get to you and speak up as sometimes people don't realise how much it hurts. Being away from home and family is never easy and learning how to create new sincere friendship and close working relationship is what my advise will be and to do that you need to be honest and let your new found friends and colleagues know when you are offended.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2018): I hope you will forgive me for saying that it is all in your head. You are white Europian by ethnicity so you have no skin color problem. You have been in America since early childhood so you shouldnt have accent problem. When asked,you don't have to say where you are originally from. Just tell them, you are American. FGS look at the last names of the famous and powerful persons in the American society most of them have non Anglosaxon names. My advice, when asked simply say you are American. If you can speak your native balkan language that should be a great asset for you to progress, not a hinderance. Have faith in yourself,have faith in your abilities. Don't let prejudices ruin your life and work on yourself educationwise and work hard to be successful and happy in your life. Have some role models who have come from similar backgrounds as you and have achieved great successes in America like the owner of the American giant Amazon. He is greek.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (2 November 2018):
 I do think you're overly sensitive. The day people stop asking where you're from is the day they're no longer interested in you. Every society wants to preserve who they are and they have the right to decide who is allowed to join them. Why do you assume every comment about immigration is a personal attack on you?Why is everything about YOU?Have you ever stopped to think about what offense you might have caused others in the course of your life, however unintentional? Are you going to tell me you've never once offered an unsolicited opinion about someone else's life choices, their beliefs, their appearance? Western societies are among the most tolerant and accepting.We laugh at ourselves more than anything and God knows others have been open about laughing at us as well. How many times have we heard about 'dumb Americans'? Your grandfather escaped truly hellish conditions and you're here, in a peaceful, prosperous nation with opportunities you might not have elsewhere and all you can do is complain?What you can do about it is look outside yourself and try to imagine that burdens others carry, give others the benefit of the doubt. You can step back and reflect on your own past behaviour, your assumptions of others and understand that often times when people make jokes it can also be their way of letting you know they accept you and that it's ok to laugh at yourself not take everything so seriously.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2018): It's horrible that this is becoming such an issue these days. Racism has always been a problem in the States. Intolerance is now blatant, public, and unchecked. The horrible political tweets and polarizing speeches with racist undertones is bringing every torch-carrying racist out of the woodwork! A hateful nut sending bombs like greeting cards in the mail!!!
We just had 11 innocent Jewish people gunned-down and killed by some crazed antisemitic Alt-Reich white supremacist maniac! IN THE UNITED STATES! People simply at worship! The culprit and instigator behind provoking these crazies takes no responsibility for his rhetoric; and his stirring-up hateful rallies across our country. Scaring people about immigrants! Tapping into their hatred and fear for political manipulation.
I am half Indigenous Native American, my mother is Cherokee. My father is of Greek heritage, and I understand some other mixes back in his family-tree. I am always being asked what is my ethnicity? Why should it matter? Now that I'm in upper-management, no one crosses that line anymore. When I felt compelled to share my family-heritage; the ignorance that spilled forth was atrocious. Unbelievable! My people are true natives born on this soil generations ago; and I find myself explaining who I am! So I can understand how you must feel!
Don't tolerate ignorance. If you are insulted; you must report it to Human Resources. You must also let the offender know he has crossed a line. Being your boss doesn't give him any right to show you disrespect, or to be openly bigoted on the job. He works FOR the business, just like you do; therefore, his behavior reflects on the ethics, reputation, and the values of the company you both work for. If you were hired, the company didn't have a problem with where you're from. So who the hell is he???
You stand out? Try being me! Be proud of who you are, where you come from, and that you're now an American. You shouldn't have to put-up with such behavior on your job; but people are less likely to cross lines when you correct them. You have to be a little tougher. Just choose your battles and not get in heated situations in public; where you may not be safe. Never confront men when you're alone.
I'm not timid or ashamed. I speak-up when offended. I wasn't always upper-management; and even my own bosses have asked me "what's your nationality?" I would ask, why? They would back-off, might have a legitimate question, or it was simply innocent curiosity. Then I would tell them. Letting them know first, they're treading on thin ice!
I'm not ashamed, I'm proud. I know I look different. It's hard to identify my race. Indian (Asian), Middle Eastern, or Latino? None of these! Why should you or I feel paranoid in our own country? Who gets to decide who belongs here and who doesn't?
This is your country now! Claim it! Doing so casts no negative light upon your national origin. Can we help where we're born, our color, or race? We may end-up transplanted on another continent! We may worship differently! Such is life! Now it's fashionable to be a nasty loudmouthed bigot?
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