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... Send *essica04 a private message | | | *essica04's profile:I am 23 and live in the U.S. in Las Vegas.
As far as education, I am a senior psychology major with an emphasis on child development, and minor credits in counseling.
As far as my personal life, I have been there and back! I was pregnant at 17, which ended in a miscarriage. I married my H.S. boy friend when I was just 18 and still in school. He was in the U.S. Army and I spent almost 3 years as a military wife. Our relationship was always abusive, and we divorced just over a year ago.
I don't know which part of all that people will count as "credentials" for giving advice, but take it as you will. I have an opinion on just about everything, and I promise all of my readers that I will try my best to offer sound, unbiased advise. But I ask you to take everything I say with a grain of salt. I won't always tell you what you want to hear, but this is an advice site, so you asked.
Most of my advice is based on relationships and basic sex-education questions. I will never speak about that which I have no experience. |
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Should I ask him or just leave it...?
Q. I've known this guy for around a year, he randomly added me one night on msn soo we got chatting and it turned out that he lived pretty close to me, in the same city/town. i never trusted people online, with all the stories you hear and stuff, but ...
A. 2 March 2009: Oh eek! He's that much older than you? I hope you aren't hiding all of this from your parents. Please do let him push you into ANYTHING that you are not the least bit comfortable with. Be SAFE!... (read in full...)
I lied to my BF and told him I'm not a virgin - should I tell him the truth?
Q. I'm 13 and so is my boyfriend. I really truly love him but I lied to him about not being a virgin and he believes me. Should I tell him that I am or should it remain a secret ?...
A. 28 February 2009: Tell him and please, be very proud that you are still a virgin. There is nothing romantic or special about losing your virginity to the wrong guy. I was 15 when I lost mine, and it wasn't to anyone I loved or felt a special connection with. To this ... (read in full...)
14 year old boyfriend fears
Q. So im a 14 year old girl who is having major problems. I have never had a boyfriend or someone who likes me. I have a spinal problem, meaning im a lot shorter than everyone else my age and i have a problem with my speech. (I talk out of my nose. ...
A. 28 February 2009: I think the biggest problem is what you said at the end, that you're shy.
It's terrible the way society has begun to treat people who are different from what is considered 'normal', and at your age, I can imagine you feel that the most.
Just be... (read in full...)
I need to get my daughter and I out of my husband's house because he hits us, but I have no clue how!
Q. I've been with my husband for three years now, been married to him for two. We have a one year old daughter. My husband started verbally abusing me seven months into our relationship, but I didn't really think anything of it until just two weeks ...
A. 28 February 2009: It's not kidnapping since you are her legal guardian and have custody of her. Thank you for leaving! Stay strong!... (read in full...)
Should I ask him or just leave it...?
Q. I've known this guy for around a year, he randomly added me one night on msn soo we got chatting and it turned out that he lived pretty close to me, in the same city/town. i never trusted people online, with all the stories you hear and stuff, but ...
A. 28 February 2009: Give it a shot, ask him out. I am a little wary of him being someone you met online, so please remember to be safe. Let friends and family know what you are up to. I think you both have invested so much into cultivating an online relationship, that ... (read in full...)
Should I ask him what was said?
Q. Okay, So me and my boyfriend have been dating for about two years. Somebody told him some things and won't tell me what they said.. I don't know what it could be, so I'm not that worried about it but he hasn't talked to me in three days, what should ...
A. 28 February 2009: Just try to get an open line of communication going, first. When he starts talking to you, then ask him why he has been distant lately and if you did anything to cause it.
You deserve to at least know if he is upset with you or not, and it would... (read in full...)
Will it hurt or is it a right pain in the ass?
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been dating for 8 months now. I'm 16 he's 17. And we've had sex before but now he wants to give it to me in my ass. Will it hurt? That's all I'm asking....
A. 27 February 2009: Yes, it will hurt, or at least be extremely uncomfortable at first. Go very slow, and use LOTS of lube.... (read in full...)
Is 32 years... old???
Q. Is 32 old? In people's eyes and in comparison to some still in their 20's?...
A. 27 February 2009: My sister is 31, 3 kids, married for 7 years, but she is a total hottie! most of it is just her attitude. She isn't afraid to be smart and witty, or ditzy, or to laugh at anything and joke with her kids. She jsut stays young at heart, and that ... (read in full...)
How do you tell your partner you aren't happy with the sex?
Q. How do you talk to a partner/lover about your unhappiness with the sexual aspect of your relationship? I have some issues with my girlfriend, and I feel like I need to talk to her about them, but the more I think about it the more I feel like an a...
A. 27 February 2009: Just be open and really gentle with her about it. It's hard to advise anything further since you didn't disclose the problem at hand.... (read in full...)
I don't want him to know how inexperienced I am!
Q. I lied to the guy that I fancy, we had a quick snog, I wasn't very good (because I have never done it before), he stopped and asked me what was up, I just said that it had been a while and my last boyfriend wasn't very nice to me and it has made me ...
A. 27 February 2009: I think if you tell him the truth, he will actually find it very endearing and probably refreshing to know that you aren't running around the streets having your way with every Tom, Dick and Harry. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
How funny th... (read in full...)
Bite the hand that cooks for you
Q. what would you do if your boy friend breif case is open and you went to get a stamp for your letter, and you find pictures of some women and him? what would you do or say?...
A. 27 February 2009: I would confront him nicely about what you found. His brief case was open, you were not snooping. His reaction can also help you determine whether you are right to be suspicious. If he blames you for snooping and redirects tries to blame this on ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he'll lie and deceive me again?
Q. My husband has been having an affair for 9 months. Twice he said he would never see her again. The third time I kick him out. He has been living with her the last 2 months, lying and deceiving me. He was calling a dating service 13 years ago for 3 ...
A. 27 February 2009: He does not sound willing to change his ways and own up to what he is truly responsible for.
Trust is probably one of the most important aspects of a working relationship. If you can't trust him (and he has given you no reason to), then I think it... (read in full...)
I think I can get over him... but I can't get over what happend.
Q. So... I'll try to make this the abridged version. When I was 15, I met a boy. We had an instant connection and fell in love. He was the love of my life. I was convinced, as most young people are, that this love was eternal. We were so happy fo...
A. 27 February 2009: I think you're having these problems because a lot of your relationship with this ex was left unresolved. You never got to see whether things would end up going well or whether you two would break up because of something else in a relationship.
... (read in full...)
Would it be sensible to hold off on the military until I'm divorced?
Q. okay, so im leaving for basic within the next two months, I have been dating my boyfriend for awhile now...and when i say awhile, im not talkin about more than a year. I love him to death, i would take a bullet for this man. Here is the probl...
A. 27 February 2009: I for one was married to the military in a similar situation where I married my H.S. BF to be able to stay with him and follow him to his duty station since we didn't think we'd do well in a LD relationship.
I am a little confused about what you... (read in full...)
I think I may have a problem and that is why I keep on lying to my parents!
Q. I have posted questions on here before about me and my mums bad relationship, which is basically down to me lying about my older boyfriend when we first got together, then lying again a few weeks ago when I applied for my passport so that I could go ...
A. 27 February 2009: I am having problems understanding why you're lying about what seem to be fairly minor things. Are your parents very conservative? Dot they financially support you and often threaten to take away money and support?
I decided on a whim I was goin... (read in full...)
Could sex be used as a way to celebrate friendship?
Q. I have been working as an English teacher here in Poland. In about a month I am going to leave Poland and return to my home country. My issue involves two women. One woman is also an English teacher at the same language school that I teach at....
A. 27 February 2009: Unless there is an obvious sexual tension between you and either of these women, I would advise that you not push things sexually.
Tossing around sex and making it so casual can have adverse emotional effects to these women if they do not understa... (read in full...)
My husband said it's "just texting" and I have nothing to worry about! What do you reckon?
Q. So, found text on my husband's phone of naked girl and dirty talk. She is my sister in law's best friend.. Lives 2,000 Miles away, so a lot of talking on phone and dirty pics. I set him up with a facebook account and this is were they connected. ...
A. 27 February 2009: This is a form of cheating called 'emotional cheating'. He may think it's no big deal because she lives to far away, so nothing physical could really happen. But the truth is, he is investing time into a relationship with another woman. If he cannot ... (read in full...)
I have been taking birth control, Can I still be pregnant if I still bleed?
Q. In the past few months, since November, I've been sexually active. I'm on birth control and for the most part, I take it at 10 AM everyday. Sometimes it's 1 or 2 o'clock before I remember it, but I only have sex like one weekend out of the month. ...
A. 27 February 2009: Some women spot during their pregnancy. For the most part though, if you are having your normal flow (or at least what is normal for you being on the pill), then odds are you are not pregnant.
You can take a home test though and double check. F... (read in full...)
Should I tell her that I'm a virgin?
Q. Should i tell a girl i been on a couple dates that im a virgin? Im 22, she is 27 and definitely not a virgin, lol. Please reply soon cause im suppose to see her tommorrow.... Thanks a bunch *Mod Note: Fixed some txt speak. Please try to write out...
A. 27 February 2009: If your relationship with her is obviously progressing towards the bedroom, then yes, I would make mention of it at some point closer to that time.
If you're in the dating phase still, then I don't see why it needs to come up yet. But that's j... (read in full...)
Will my gf lose custody of her kids because we're seeing each other?
Q. I am a 21 year old Female. I am completely in love with another Female who is 39 and she is in love with me too. She has two children and is afraid that if her ex husband finds out that she is with a 21 year old that he will take her to court and ...
A. 27 February 2009: Unless he can prove that the kids are being harmed and/ or that she is an unfit parent, there is very little chance he could have the children taken away.
The courts generally bend over backwards to keep children with their mother, as it is usual... (read in full...)
I would like to finger her, how do I bring this up?
Q. ok heres the situation..ive been going out with this girl for about 5months now..we both love to make out..i was her 1st kiss and 1st make out..whenever she comes over we make out all the time and she stradles me and all that stuff but i really do ...
A. 27 February 2009: It's great that you don't want to pressure her, but honestly, you would need to talk to her about what you want.
I for one think you are a little on the young side for all of this, but if you are going to be sexual, please just be careful.... (read in full...)
I need to get my daughter and I out of my husband's house because he hits us, but I have no clue how!
Q. I've been with my husband for three years now, been married to him for two. We have a one year old daughter. My husband started verbally abusing me seven months into our relationship, but I didn't really think anything of it until just two weeks ...
A. 27 February 2009: You need to file charges with the police for domestic abuse against you and abuse of a minor for your daughter. They will take photo evidence of any bruising, though I hope you do not wait long enough for that to happen again.
File charges ... (read in full...)
Should I be loyal to a relationship that no longer exists?
Q. My girlfriend abruptly broke up with me about 5 weeks ago after I had confessed to her that I had been doing speed for a week straight. A quick background: She left a abusive relationship in June. We became exclusive in November. She had d...
A. 27 February 2009: I think for her, the drug use was a huge reason. I agree with Cat, that she had just gotten out of an abusive relationship, and finding out you were messing around with speed is most likely not something she even wants to begin to get mixed up ... (read in full...)
Could she be pregnant from dry humping
Q. Ok, me and my girl friend were dry humping. When I came, the seamon went through my pants(like over the waist part thing). And it got onto her tights, and onto her panties as well. She went to the bathroom and removed the tights and underwear af...
A. 27 February 2009: It's very unlikely that any sperm made it through several layers of clothing, finding a constant wet path to follow, and traveled into her vagina...
...however, since I don't want you to risk this again, please understand that even touching... (read in full...)
Could she be pregnant even with us using a condom?
Q. hi to all of you out there. well me and my g/f had sex on the 24th and we used a brand new condom and i came inside her with the condom on my penis. could she be pregnant even thought the condom didnt break or it didnt have any leakage. this morning ...
A. 27 February 2009: It is possible, but highly unlikely. Also, that is pretty soon of her to be having symptoms. Have her take a home test in a few days to ease your mind.
I agree with Tisha. Your GF can go into a planned parenthood clinic and get a dosage of Plan ... (read in full...)
Are women put off by skinny men?
Q. I know everyone has different tastes and personal preferences, but in general, are women put off by skinny men? I'm 22, and while I eat like a horse, I just have never been able to put on any tangible weight, and have virtually little...
A. 27 February 2009: I used to be married to 5'8, 200lb....
I now am in love with my BF who is 6'2 and barely 160lb.
Every woman has different tastes, but I have found that I enjoy a skinny boy a lot more. Plus, I love to cook, and my BF can eat a horse and not ga... (read in full...)
He says maybe when he has lost some weight we will have sex again!? I don't understand him.
Q. I have been with my boyfrined for 2 years now. Since september last year he has been acting strange and we havent been sleeping together. We have has sex 4 times since then. He isnt cheating on me i know that for sure because i am always with him.He ...
A. 26 February 2009: I suggest taking the porn out of the picture, but that is just me. My BF and I aren't big fans of porn is all.
Sometimes when my guy feels down, I just straight up ravage him. Pin him down, undress him, and please him in every way I can think of... (read in full...)
How to get him to play fair with the household bills?
Q. This is a long story but here goes. Iv been with my bf for a year now, and i have a daughter (but she is not his, he does treat her like his though). I live on my own with my daughter and im not working at the moment but am seeking, so i am...
A. 26 February 2009: What some couples do is pay for things by a percentage of what they make. Like, you put 50% of your money towards living, and he puts 50% of his money towards the same. However, I have only seen this done with married couples or blended families ... (read in full...)
I never seem to please her in bed as I get tired, help!
Q. i dont know what to do with my girlfriend anymore!!! i mean in bed i never seem to please her!! i have a 6 3/4 inch penis its below average i beleive .. but thats not the deal when we have sex i do all i can to make her reach an orgasm and she ...
A. 26 February 2009: At your age I remember being in bed for 2 hours. No joke, and my guy wasn't happy about it either.
All I can say is that you're doing everything right. Her hormones are a little off the chart at this age, and that is quite possibly why she is s... (read in full...)
Can you still have periods when you are pregnant?
Q. Can you still have periods when you are pregnant????...
A. 26 February 2009: Some women will continue to spot for either a few months, or the entire duration of their pregnancy. If you are pregnant, go see your OBGYN and tell them about this so they can monitor you and the fetus properly.
If you think you might be pregnant... (read in full...)
He cheats because he doesn't want to get hurt...
Q. i have a boyfriend who has been thru alot he fears being cheated on so he hurts me first. he cheated on me and got the girl pregnat we are now back together but i fear it may happen again. he admits he has a problem and that he wants help and needs ...
A. 26 February 2009: Are either of you a member of a church? a lot of time you can seek counsel from a pastor/ priest who will have experience guiding you through these kinds of things.
As far as his relationship with your son is concerned, I would take some space fr... (read in full...)
I'm meeting my boyfriend's parents, should I bring flowers for his mother?
Q. Is it a good idea to bring something for the family: the mom? I'm meeting my boyfriend's parents this weekend but he just said we'll go out for dinner at a restaurant. It was going to be at his house but he changed his mind and wants to take us...
A. 26 February 2009: If the dinner was still at their home, then yes, I would bring a small arrangement of something simple, like tulips or lilies. Since you're going out to dinner though, I don't think you have to. You are obviously a nice enough gal that I'm sure your ... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing? And will he come back???
Q. Ok so I've known this guy for about year, everything was good. In the beginning he was like, he wasn't looking for a relationship ( not ready/stable I guess) and I was like "whatever" on the whole thing. If I got into one, I got into one, but I ...
A. 26 February 2009: Yeah, I'd say let him go. It sounds like the friendship was there only because of a mutual attraction and flirting. maybe he realized you were wanting more and he just wasn't feeling that same way?
Either way, from what you said about him, he ... (read in full...)
My vagina hurts after sex
Q. I've been in my relationship for three years and my boyfriend is great! When we started having sex (two weeks into our relationship) it was good! There were no problems at all. For about a year now, everytime we have sex my vagina hurts after it...
A. 26 February 2009: As far as lube, make sure you are using water based lubricant if you rely on condoms for protection. Petrolium based lubes like vaseline can deteriorate the condom and cause it to break.... (read in full...)
I'm not really sure what happened with our relationship
Q. I recently asked for a break from my boyfriend. We have been together for 2 years and I suddenly got frustrated and tired that he was now depending on me financially. i have been the one funding our meals transport and everything. He has a job that ...
A. 26 February 2009: I think it's time to call it quits. He paid you money, and hopefully he will pay you back all of what he owes.
i'm sure things between you two started out with the best of intentions, but he let his end of things slide. For now it seems like no ... (read in full...)
How soon is too soon to propose?
Q. Hi Auntys and Uncles I really need your opinions advice on this.. To put it simply I want your opinions on how soon into a relationship is too early to propose? The complicated bit is my divorce from my my ex is not yet final(will be in 5wks) a...
A. 26 February 2009: Hmmm, I think that if thigs are going so well, then you should leave it all alone. Why fix what ain't broken?
Let your divorces finalize, and enjoy the relationship as it is. If things still feel really great, then it could be an appropri... (read in full...)
My vagina hurts after sex
Q. I've been in my relationship for three years and my boyfriend is great! When we started having sex (two weeks into our relationship) it was good! There were no problems at all. For about a year now, everytime we have sex my vagina hurts after it...
A. 26 February 2009: For a while, my vagina would hurt during and after sex, like there was a scratch or tear that was getting rubbed wrong.
I had my gyno take a look and she didn't see anything wrong.
My own remedy was to take plenty of time getting worked u... (read in full...)
Wearing previous engagement ring
Q. My girlfriend insists on wearing previous engagement rings -- yes, she has a few of them -- when we go out together. When I introduced her to my family, my sister took me aside and asked if I had something to tell her ... of course she drew the ...
A. 26 February 2009: I think she is completely ou of line. My BF has a little bit of a problem if I even wear a really nice ring on my left ring finger. I cannot imagine how he would feel if I went walking around wearing my old engagement ring.
I don't know about he... (read in full...)
Manipulated, lied to, and cheated on by whorehouse
Q. I don't know what to do! My husband and I have almost been married for a year and we have a 5 month old baby. He had been going out a lot for "business" and would never answer my phone calls or even call me regardless of the fact he was out WAY ...
A. 26 February 2009: The only real question to all of this is how much are you willing to go through? If you believe marriage counseling and sex addiction thereapy can help, then by all means try. But you owe it to your child to protect him from physically and ... (read in full...)
Is he gay? Or just experimenting?
Q. my husband likes to have phone sex with gay guys he meets on the party lines and he recently asked me if i wanted to put my dildo in his ass is he gay or just wants to experiment?...
A. 26 February 2009: This is a tricky one since only he can know ever if he is gay, straight, bi, etc.
There are quite a few straight men out there who enjoy their women being of the 'giving' end of intercourse. Pressure on the prostate can be quite pleasura... (read in full...)
Can an emotionally abusive man change with therapy
Q. can a self centered emotional abusive man change with therapy or it is a long up hill battle. He only sees things one way his - even if everyone disagrees. He is stubborn. He even gets mad at doormen and if you dont agree with his views on eve...
A. 26 February 2009: I agree. He can go to all the therapy in the world, but unless he sees his actions as negative and damaging and want so to change, he never will.
You can't save them all, I know that's something we women often try to do. What you can do is save ... (read in full...)
I don't mind if I become pregnant but my fiance is not sold on the idea
Q. Hi everyone. I wonder if anyone can help me here? My fiance proposed to me at the weekend. That night, we consumated the engagement. We didn't realise, until I felt him cumming inside me, that the condom had split. He uses an ultra-thin make so it ...
A. 26 February 2009: I think the prospect of a child so soon is all that is bothering him. He probably wants some "alone" time to you early in your marriage before you start having kids.
I'm sure he would not have a problem if you are pregnant, but try to respect ... (read in full...)
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