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... Send *essica04 a private message | | | *essica04's profile:I am 23 and live in the U.S. in Las Vegas.
As far as education, I am a senior psychology major with an emphasis on child development, and minor credits in counseling.
As far as my personal life, I have been there and back! I was pregnant at 17, which ended in a miscarriage. I married my H.S. boy friend when I was just 18 and still in school. He was in the U.S. Army and I spent almost 3 years as a military wife. Our relationship was always abusive, and we divorced just over a year ago.
I don't know which part of all that people will count as "credentials" for giving advice, but take it as you will. I have an opinion on just about everything, and I promise all of my readers that I will try my best to offer sound, unbiased advise. But I ask you to take everything I say with a grain of salt. I won't always tell you what you want to hear, but this is an advice site, so you asked.
Most of my advice is based on relationships and basic sex-education questions. I will never speak about that which I have no experience. |
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Can a guy love one woman and be sleeping with another?
Q. Hello, everyone! Can a guy love one woman and be sleeping with another? He has indicated his love for me but is with a girlfriend. Now I'm with another guy and the guy who talks about our love is angry with me. Should I tell the guy who say she ...
A. 2 March 2009: If the other guy really wants to be with you, he will let his current GF down gently to be with you.
Whether he does or not, you still shouldn't be stringing around some poor sap who you don't seem to want to be with. Don't think you're doing hi... (read in full...)
Was this experience an orgasm?
Q. last night my boyfriend went down on me and after a few minutes i got an amazing feeling! my vagina felt like it was pumping my legs and hips went all funny and all i wanted to do was scream, my breathing got heavier and i couldn't stop squeezing my ...
A. 2 March 2009: Yup, that sounds like a classic case of "climax-itis" to me! Congrats!... (read in full...)
I filed charges against my wife because she pulled a knife on me
Q. a month ago my wife was arrested for domestic violence against me her husband She had threatened me with a knife during an argument over finances. The incident lasted 5 minutes and she calmed down immediately I was angry and called 911 ...
A. 2 March 2009: Hey, a knife is a knife. I don't blame you for calling. Understand though that the police must make an arrest on an assault call. This happens even if she was flipping out and you slap her and admit it, they will take you into custody, even if ... (read in full...)
Anal sex--does it hurt? Can I get pregnant?
Q. my boyfriend wants to have anal sex will it hurt can i get pregnant by having anal sex ...
A. 2 March 2009: Follow the advice from below: Lots of lube, go very slow, and he had better be paying attention to how this is feeling for you.
Just make sure his cum doesn't not touch your vagina, but since you should be using a condom ANYWAYS, it shouldn'... (read in full...)
Engaged and cheating
Q. I am engaged and been in a relationship for almost 7 years. However, I have cheated a handful of times throughout the relationship. Since I have been engaged I have cheated 3 times with different people. I feel guilty and know that this can't ...
A. 2 March 2009: You owe it to him to be honest with him. He deserves to know what he is about to marry. Do you even get STD tests done after these encounters? You are endangering not just your life by having random sex, but also his, and nothing about that is ... (read in full...)
Vaginal pimples normal?
Q. Hi...um....i don't know why, but i've been getting pimples in my vaginal area and i havent had sex or anything! i don't know what to do! is it normal? is there anyway to get rid of it? with house hold appliances cause i dont want my mom to find out. ...
A. 2 March 2009: Wear cotton panties and change daily! You know the drill on that. Don't use scented soaps down there, and don't use scented lotions either.
You're young, and zits happen, and no one knows why they HAVE to happen there of all places, but you aren... (read in full...)
Boyfriend drama!
Q. I just found out that my boyfriend of a year is cheating on me. What should I do? Should I give him another chance or should I break up with him? Please help me....
A. 2 March 2009: You are too young to be worried about some loser guy who has shown you no respect. I don't care about the 'nice' things he might do for you once in a while... that's how they keep you around.
Look, get out of the relationship now and show him that... (read in full...)
Did I pop my cherry???
Q. My boyfriend and I are very much in love, believe it or not. We had sex and it didn't really hurt... and there was no blood. Just a tight burning sensation. Someone told me I probably already popped my cherry via tampons or masturbation. I mean t...
A. 2 March 2009: Really, virginity can have nothing to do with your hymen being intact. It all depends on what you consider to be a virgin. Some people think that oral means you're not a virgin, some people only count vaginal penetration as losing virginity.
Point... (read in full...)
Painful sex and possibly pregnant.
Q. i may be pregnant i took like 20 test also this was my first time having sex what do i do oh ya it was so painful having sex...
A. 2 March 2009: Wow, lol, I didn't catch that, we must have replied at the same time. Explanation?... (read in full...)
Should I ask him or just leave it...?
Q. I've known this guy for around a year, he randomly added me one night on msn soo we got chatting and it turned out that he lived pretty close to me, in the same city/town. i never trusted people online, with all the stories you hear and stuff, but ...
A. 2 March 2009: Oh eek! He's that much older than you? I hope you aren't hiding all of this from your parents. Please do let him push you into ANYTHING that you are not the least bit comfortable with. Be SAFE!... (read in full...)
Painful sex and possibly pregnant.
Q. i may be pregnant i took like 20 test also this was my first time having sex what do i do oh ya it was so painful having sex...
A. 1 March 2009: It hurt most likely because it was your first time.
You haven't given us a lot of info. Did you miss a period? Use a condom? Were the tests all positive? I don't know what to really advise you on here...... (read in full...)
How far does the penis have to be in, in order to get pregnant?
Q. Me and my boyfriend had unprotected sex a couple of hours ago, (the worst idea we've ever had) but when he comed he didn't fully pull out but he wasn't anywhere near totally in, it was as he pulled out he did. What are the chances of becoming ...
A. 1 March 2009: Go to any pharmacy and ask whether they can give you a single prescription. In the US we have 'planned parenthood' clinics that can give it out. You local pharmacist should know. If you have to, walk. Make the time, because you have on 72 hrs for ... (read in full...)
How far does the penis have to be in, in order to get pregnant?
Q. Me and my boyfriend had unprotected sex a couple of hours ago, (the worst idea we've ever had) but when he comed he didn't fully pull out but he wasn't anywhere near totally in, it was as he pulled out he did. What are the chances of becoming ...
A. 1 March 2009: Get the morning after pill. You can become pregnant from him even cumming on the outside of the vagina. Sperm only needs to be able to swim up the vagina, and the surest way is if it finds a wet trail.
Get the pill, do not rely on pulling out as m... (read in full...)
My friend goes through a terrible ordeal with his wife, how can I help him?
Q. i have a dear friend that has just gone through a horrific ordeal with his wife. she has abused him mentally, emotionly. and sometimes even phisicaly. he is now going threw devorce, but his wife is being nasty about him filling for it. she keeps ...
A. 1 March 2009: Just be like a new family to him. He is going to need lots of unconditional support to get through the trying time. I am certain he can gain primary custody of the children if social services has investigated her and found abuse. He will need help ... (read in full...)
I am worried I could be gay?
Q. I am a straight 17 year old and I have been masturbating to gay porn everytime i watched porn. I don't know why i did this but i am worried if that makes me gay. i never did nothing with a dude though and i never will. i feel really wrong when i ...
A. 1 March 2009: You're still young and figuring yourself out. Don't be ashamed of any of it. If gay porn gets you off, go for it (though I don't like porn that much to begin with).
If you find a guy you fancy, maybe see where it will lead. don't knock it until yo... (read in full...)
Is this diet safe?
Q. This is the new diet I want to try... One day eat 200 cals, the next 400, the next 600, and then 200 again and repeat the 3 day cycle over and over again. Also, to do half an hour of exercise 3 times a week. Will I lose weight by this and how much...
A. 1 March 2009: 200-600 calories a day for someone your age is not nearly enough for your body to run on. You will lose weight, and your body will go into shock if you were to keep up on this diet.
Any weight you lose will be water weight right away, and you ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is mad at me for making of fun her sister!
Q. My girlfriend is mad at me for making of fun her sister (who's deaf and 8 or 9 not sure) when she was in the room as me. Her sister got picked on, her parents decide to home schooled her .The way only you communicate with her is sigh-language. My ...
A. 1 March 2009: Um, wow, I cannot believe you would make fun of a deaf child. That is pretty low.
It sounds like you don't even realize how hurtful you were to your GF and how disrespectful you were to her family, and until you can see how truly distaste... (read in full...)
What can I do to be taller?
Q. i am 16 and 5 ft 3, so am like one of the shortest in my class. what can i do to be taller? i mean, i already eat alot of veggies and stuff, and meat and anything which culd make me taller. also, i have G boobs, so its not like i have a problem ...
A. 1 March 2009: The only way you can grow to you genetically predetermined height is to eat right and be healthy. As long as you do that, you can almost guarantee you will meet your normal height.
You still have a few years ahead of you where you might grow, bu... (read in full...)
I want to get with my cousin
Q. I want to get with my cousin. We used to play and kiss when we were little but now we are older I'm 18 years old and she is 19 and I want to see if I can have something more with her, I don't care if she is my cousin, I realy like her. I hit her ...
A. 1 March 2009: Typically, the closer you are related to someone, the more taboo the relationship it. That's why we tend to frown on first cousins dating, especially if they were raised so close together. Second cousins dating is a little less severe, and once you ... (read in full...)
Pregnancy? Or normal?
Q. Using the contraceptive, depo provera. Got the shot on the 2nd day of my period( A thursday). Had unprotected sex the monday after. Now, 2 weeks later, im having cramps and what looks like a light period. Does it look like a pregnancy or is this ...
A. 1 March 2009: This is possibly normal spotting as your body adjust to the hormones. If you are worried though, take an at home pregnancy test or have a follow up exam with your doctor who could also administer a test.... (read in full...)
Why does she get to name the child?
Q. My fiance and i are planning on have a kid soon but im kinda worried, because she seems to think that she gets to decide on what their names are because she is carrying them and is going to push them out not me. I understand what she is going to ...
A. 1 March 2009: She needs to respect that you are also the parent of that baby, and you get an equal say. I understand that sometimes one parent might be more excited for a name than the other, but there is no reason you should name a child something you don't ... (read in full...)
Sick or pregnant?
Q. ok so here is the story. 4 days ago me and my g/f made love and i had a brand new comdoms on and it had no leak and it didn't break either but she's now worried that she's pregnant becuase i came inside her with the condom on and had no leakage a...
A. 1 March 2009: Hmmm, Im not sure what a Stop and Shop is... If it carries pharmaceutical goods, like cold medicines, toiletries and condoms, then there is a very good chance they carry some. If it just like a gas station store, then probably not.
Make sure you... (read in full...)
Dad wants to put me up for adoption because I'm wild!
Q. My dad and i have a far strung relationship but i dont turn to him alot anymore ever since i started 'Developing' he thinks that im up to no good no matter what. I have guy friends and we hang out like we're all guys we even play football together. ...
A. 1 March 2009: Your dad sounds like he is overwhelmed with the task of raising a daughter. Your mom isn't in the picture anymore? Do you mind if I ask if she passed? That could also be what is hard for him, feeling like he can never do as good of a job raising you ... (read in full...)
Ladies advice on the handling of their breasts
Q. Ladies can you give me some advice about loving my girlfriend’s breast during sex???? When is a good time to touch them? How should I know that she wants me to touch her breast? What kind of things can I do with my hands on her breast that she ...
A. 1 March 2009: For me, any attention is good attention!
You don't want to get into pinching or biting though. Her breasts could be tender right before her period, and I know you don't want to hurt her girls.
Really, any cupping during sex is nice, and you ca... (read in full...)
Do women fake orgasms?
Q. I am having a problem having an orgasm with my bf. Ladies do you fake orgasms? I don’t know if it is a good idea. I rather help my bf help me have one. What tips do you have for having an orgasm? Are there some better positions for having one? ...
A. 1 March 2009: I have never faked an orgasm. Honestly, if you are in a committed relationship and plan to be with this person for a while, then you need to speak up now and help him figure out how to please you. that is, after all, one of the best parts about a ... (read in full...)
I am 15 and want to have a baby!
Q. I want to keep having sex....i was 14 when i started to and now 15 and want a baby. I really want to have one but my mom don't want me to i wanna fellow my own desires...
A. 1 March 2009: Please do not have a baby while you are so young. There is little you can do to support a child on your own. I know you think you can just run out and get a part time job, but that would hardly pay the cost of day care for the baby, let alone, ... (read in full...)
I'm too skinny! How do I gain weight?
Q. How do I gain weight? I am 5'5, about 100 lbs. I have been skinny all my life. I don't starve myself, but I also do not have a big appetite. Eating has never been something that I crave or thoroughly enjoy. I have always been very self-conscious a...
A. 1 March 2009: I would recommend seeing a nutritionist either at school or at a gym. They will have actual schooling on an appropriate diet. As far as gaining weight in certain areas, it just happens that way. I gain around my midsection, and its really ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend doesn't want sex anymore
Q. Im 17 and my girlfriend is 16, we have been together for 14 months we didnt have sex until 7 months into the relationship. It was her first time and we had sex about roughly once or twice a week an then about 4 months after that it just stopped. we ...
A. 1 March 2009: There could be something deeper going on with her. Maybe she is intensely afraid of becoming pregnant, or maybe sex began to hurt for her. And in an extreme case, maybe she was sexually abused by someone else and has since been really turned of by ... (read in full...)
How do I gain her trust again?
Q. Well this is my story. I started going out with this girl and 2 months into our relationship i cheated on her with my friend's girlfriend. It's has been almost 3 months since she broke up with me. For the first month we talked and i always told her ...
A. 1 March 2009: Well, sadly the only way to ever prove this would be to never cheat on her again if she is willing to try again. You cannot make someone trust you, it really is something you earn, and sometimes when you break a person's trust, it is gone forever.
... (read in full...)
Is weed worst than cigarettes?
Q. Is weed worst than cigarettes? Which has the worst long term effect? ...
A. 1 March 2009: Marijuana is fairly harmless, unless you suddenly need to use your brain while you're high... there you could face some problems.
While I support the medical and recreational uses of marijuana, at this point in your life it is not legally the best... (read in full...)
Sick or pregnant?
Q. ok so here is the story. 4 days ago me and my g/f made love and i had a brand new comdoms on and it had no leak and it didn't break either but she's now worried that she's pregnant becuase i came inside her with the condom on and had no leakage a...
A. 1 March 2009: You can get spermicide at any drug store. I live in Vegas and we have a wal-greens on every corner, but Rite Aid and CVS will have it as well. Even most grocery stores will carry some in their pharmacy isle. Just read the boxes, look through all of ... (read in full...)
Sick or pregnant?
Q. ok so here is the story. 4 days ago me and my g/f made love and i had a brand new comdoms on and it had no leak and it didn't break either but she's now worried that she's pregnant becuase i came inside her with the condom on and had no leakage a...
A. 1 March 2009: If she was only a week pregnant, she would have no clue. Most women don't even realize they're pregnant for two or three weeks until they miss a period.
It sounds to me like she has the flu. If you used a condom and it didn't break, I wouldn't... (read in full...)
Too paranoid? Or should I be concerned?
Q. well im on the contraceptive injection , Depo-Provera. I got the shot last thursday, first day of my period. I had unprotected sex the monday after. the injection has a 99.7% protection rate, but if i took a pregnancy test now would i be abe to ...
A. 1 March 2009: You might be having the cramps because of your period. Odds are if you were pregnant, you would not have classic symptoms at this stage already. If you were pregnant and having a miscarriage, you would know, those cramps are contractions and hurt.
... (read in full...)
Should my boyfriend and I keep our baby or give it up for adoption?
Q. Should my boyfriend and I keep our baby or give it up for adoption? I am 15 years old and pregnant by my 16 year old boyfriend. Both of our parents know and want us to decide on what to do with the baby when it's born. At first, my boyfrien...
A. 1 March 2009: Honestly, I suggest adoption.
I know he thinks he'll go out and get a job, but the most he's ever going to make until he gets an education is about $10 an hr, and babies cost much, much more than that. It would be your parents and his who would en... (read in full...)
What is causing the unpleasant 'fart' noise during sex?
Q. sometimes when i have sex with my boyfriend, i make an unpleasant 'fart' noise. it only happens when i go on top and i won't do this now even though my boyfriend likes this. i thought it was the condom but i dont think it is anymore. what is causing ...
A. 28 February 2009: Sometimes that happens to me if we're having really aggressive sex and there isn't a lot of lubrication down there. It is embarrassing, but at the same time it leaves us laughing for minutes during sex. My BF and I think it's hilarious and are ... (read in full...)
What should you do with your hands when you kiss a guy?
Q. When you kissing a guy, what should you do with your hands? I always end up doing nothing with then when he is having a good feel but I am a little shy to feel him, will that come with confidence, even when he put my hands on him, I just kinda ...
A. 28 February 2009: I usually take the opportunity to feel my guys hips and torso. Nothing weird or aggressive, but I'll hold on hand at his hip and maybe let one travel up and down along his ribs and chest. Just something slow and soothing.... (read in full...)
All we've done is kiss, but I want to go further... any advice would be great!
Q. Ok well i am 14 years old and my bf is 16. we have been dating for 8 months. All we have done is kissing and making out. We want to go further. What is the best way to get in the mood. If he fingers me will it hurt? When we have sex will it hurt a ...
A. 28 February 2009: I think you're too young, but here's the scoop:
Fingering might be a little uncomfortable and tight feeling, but it shouldn't hurt. If it does he is going too hard so make him stop! If you're still a virgin and he gets a little aggressive down the... (read in full...)
Am I supposed to wait for her or say to heck with it?
Q. Last June my best friend got married. As bestman i escorted the Brides cousin down the isle. During the rehearsal and wedding we had so much fun. we just clicked. We spent all last summer together. weather we were talking on the phone or going out ...
A. 28 February 2009: I say forget her. It sounds like she never took your feelings into serious consideration, and that's just not cool. If she just wanted a fling then she should have been very clear about that BEFORE she slept with you.
You're better off. And age ... (read in full...)
Questions about masturbation
Q. Hi. I've heard that women can tell if you mastrabate. Is that true? Also, (women) what do you think about guys who do it? I know it's natural and stuff, but really... Thanks...
A. 28 February 2009: Do you mean that women can see a difference in the penis? Well, I have never met a man who didn't masturbate, so I couldn't verify this... And I think most women by the time they lose their virginity are with a boy/ man who has masturbated... no way ... (read in full...)
I know I should wait to have a baby, but it's soo hard!
Q. I'm gonna be 18 soon and like a lot of other girls my age I really want a baby....I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and I know it doesn't sound like a long time but I know he's the one..we live together were together everyday and I ...
A. 28 February 2009: Talk is cheap, babies are forever. Keep waiting and make sure you have your life settled and on track before you bring a baby into it. You owe everything you can possibly give to your child, so make sure you are in a position to give the most ... (read in full...)
I lied to my BF and told him I'm not a virgin - should I tell him the truth?
Q. I'm 13 and so is my boyfriend. I really truly love him but I lied to him about not being a virgin and he believes me. Should I tell him that I am or should it remain a secret ?...
A. 28 February 2009: Tell him and please, be very proud that you are still a virgin. There is nothing romantic or special about losing your virginity to the wrong guy. I was 15 when I lost mine, and it wasn't to anyone I loved or felt a special connection with. To this ... (read in full...)
Should I ask him or just leave it...?
Q. I've known this guy for around a year, he randomly added me one night on msn soo we got chatting and it turned out that he lived pretty close to me, in the same city/town. i never trusted people online, with all the stories you hear and stuff, but ...
A. 28 February 2009: Give it a shot, ask him out. I am a little wary of him being someone you met online, so please remember to be safe. Let friends and family know what you are up to. I think you both have invested so much into cultivating an online relationship, that ... (read in full...)
Too paranoid? Or should I be concerned?
Q. well im on the contraceptive injection , Depo-Provera. I got the shot last thursday, first day of my period. I had unprotected sex the monday after. the injection has a 99.7% protection rate, but if i took a pregnancy test now would i be abe to ...
A. 25 February 2009: Spermicide, either foam or gel, can be a great back up. They can be found in just about any pharmacy, and are easy to use. You can even apply them right before penetration. If you enjoy oral sex, make sure you apply the spermicide after receiving ... (read in full...)
Too paranoid? Or should I be concerned?
Q. well im on the contraceptive injection , Depo-Provera. I got the shot last thursday, first day of my period. I had unprotected sex the monday after. the injection has a 99.7% protection rate, but if i took a pregnancy test now would i be abe to ...
A. 25 February 2009: When I was 17 I got pregnant after doing "period math" to track when I thought I would be fertile and when I thought I would be safe. Odds are that you're fine, ut never rely on general statistics about womens reproductive systems. Everyon... (read in full...)
Too paranoid? Or should I be concerned?
Q. well im on the contraceptive injection , Depo-Provera. I got the shot last thursday, first day of my period. I had unprotected sex the monday after. the injection has a 99.7% protection rate, but if i took a pregnancy test now would i be abe to ...
A. 24 February 2009: A preg test right now might not show anything. Sometimes it can take a few days or a week to detect.
When starting something for the first time, I generally feel it is best to give your system a while to adjust.
Give it a week and take a test ... (read in full...)
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