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Can an emotionally abusive man change with therapy

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Question - (26 February 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 26 February 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

can a self centered emotional abusive man change with therapy or it is a long up hill battle.

He only sees things one way his - even if everyone disagrees. He is stubborn. He even gets mad at doormen and if you dont agree with his views on everything than forget it.

Any help for him or is to late he is 54 had one long 2 year realtionship 4 years ago.

should i walk and not turn back

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A female reader, lillymay Ireland +, writes (26 February 2009):

lillymay agony aunthi.people always say,leave him u will never cahnge him.my dad was that way 4 nearly all of my life and as im sure u can guess,it made home life difficult.he has cahnged to a certain degree,but he can still be very difficult.i think it depends on how u feel for this person.if u love them and feel that yr life is better with them in your life then offer support but i would advise that this person gets help immediately.snd yes it will be an uphill battle as it always is wen people want to change,it doesnt happen overnite.i also did an awful lot of changing in the last few years,so i do not agree that u should just give up on this person but u have to feel that this person is wiiling to change and wants to change.otherwise it is pointless and a waste of everyones time.

good luck,i hope this helps.let me no how u both get on.

lillymay.

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A female reader, lillymay Ireland +, writes (26 February 2009):

lillymay agony aunthi.people always say,leave him u will never cahnge him.my dad was that way 4 nearly all of my life and as im sure u can guess,it made home life difficult.he has cahnged to a certain degree,but he can still be very difficult.i think it depends on how u feel for this person.if u love them and feel that yr life is better with them in your life then offer support but i would advise that this person gets help immediately.snd yes it will be an uphill battle as it always is wen people want to change,it doesnt happen overnite.i also did an awful lot of changing in the last few years,so i do not agree that u should just give up on this person but u have to feel that this person is wiiling to change and wants to change.otherwise it is pointless and a waste of everyones time.

good luck,i hope this helps.let me no how u both get on.

lillymay.

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A female reader, lillymay Ireland +, writes (26 February 2009):

lillymay agony aunthi.people always say,leave him u will never cahnge him.my dad was that way 4 nearly all of my life and as im sure u can guess,it made home life difficult.he has cahnged to a certain degree,but he can still be very difficult.i think it depends on how u feel for this person.if u love them and feel that yr life is better with them in your life then offer support but i would advise that this person gets help immediately.snd yes it will be an uphill battle as it always is wen people want to change,it doesnt happen overnite.i also did an awful lot of changing in the last few years,so i do not agree that u should just give up on this person but u have to feel that this person is wiiling to change and wants to change.otherwise it is pointless and a waste of everyones time.

good luck,i hope this helps.let me no how u both get on.

lillymay.

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A female reader, jessica04 United States +, writes (26 February 2009):

jessica04 agony auntI agree. He can go to all the therapy in the world, but unless he sees his actions as negative and damaging and want so to change, he never will.

You can't save them all, I know that's something we women often try to do. What you can do is save your self from the abuse and leave if he does nothing to help change his ways.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (26 February 2009):

Well he's got this far so in life ok.

If he really really completely AGREES with you that he has a problem, and really really really WANTS to change then with therapy etc and a LOT of hard work on his part then he may change. But you'll have to put up with him in the mean time.

It's got to be his desire to change and be a better person.

If it's just you that wants to change him so he'll stop being a jerk to you then you're out of luck.

Walk away, it's never worth trying to change a person if they don't want to be changed, and most of the time it won't work anyway.

Good Luck!! xx

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A male reader, 23ConfusedOne23 United States +, writes (26 February 2009):

23ConfusedOne23 agony auntThe thing i've noticed is that People usually do not change, it's very rare that they do. Sometimes they try but usually fall back into their real self again. Only if they want to change them selves then it might be possible but still very tough. If he doesn't realize what he's doing then you have slim to none chance.

I wish you the best.

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