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... Send *essica04 a private message | | | *essica04's profile:I am 23 and live in the U.S. in Las Vegas.
As far as education, I am a senior psychology major with an emphasis on child development, and minor credits in counseling.
As far as my personal life, I have been there and back! I was pregnant at 17, which ended in a miscarriage. I married my H.S. boy friend when I was just 18 and still in school. He was in the U.S. Army and I spent almost 3 years as a military wife. Our relationship was always abusive, and we divorced just over a year ago.
I don't know which part of all that people will count as "credentials" for giving advice, but take it as you will. I have an opinion on just about everything, and I promise all of my readers that I will try my best to offer sound, unbiased advise. But I ask you to take everything I say with a grain of salt. I won't always tell you what you want to hear, but this is an advice site, so you asked.
Most of my advice is based on relationships and basic sex-education questions. I will never speak about that which I have no experience. |
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Only 15 & pregnant..don't know what to do!
Q. i'm pregnant and only 15. i'm scarred and i dont know what to do. my boyfriend is going to stay with me no matter what and i know this because he told me. i just need help on what to do when pregnant and only 15. how do i deal with it....
A. 12 March 2009: To Legioness:
I would never force my opinion on someone, ever. I just give my thoughts on a subject when a person asks, and my thought is that this is the best route. She doesn't have to take that course of action, it's just what I would do.
I k... (read in full...)
Only 15 & pregnant..don't know what to do!
Q. i'm pregnant and only 15. i'm scarred and i dont know what to do. my boyfriend is going to stay with me no matter what and i know this because he told me. i just need help on what to do when pregnant and only 15. how do i deal with it....
A. 12 March 2009: I'm sure he says he loves you and will be with you now, but don't expect much. Few teen fathers stick around for the long haul.
You are in a very heavy situation that is quite difficult for most young people to grasp the severity of.
I am pe... (read in full...)
Is it MY semen or does she seemen?
Q. My partner and I had sex two days ago, today while we were beginning to have sex I pulled out and my member had a big glob of semen just below the head, and I know I didn't just cum. It looks fresh and she says it's from the last time we had sex and ...
A. 12 March 2009: Short and simple: No... (read in full...)
How to tell the truth without being hurtful
Q. I just need some comfimation that the only thing I can do is tell the truth, and whether anyone has any advice on how to give it. I met this girl about a year ago at a charity event and she was really nice and I found out that she lived along way ...
A. 11 March 2009: I would continue the friendship, but point out to her that it is really difficult for you to do anything because of the distance.
There is nothing wrong with having and keeping online friends just for online. Just be nice to her about it. If the o... (read in full...)
Trying to get back together but he got another girl pregnant
Q. i was with my boyfriend for 7 months and we broke up because he was cheating on me with a girl i no he kept texting me all the time while he was with her they were together for about four month they have since broken up but she is pregnant and he is ...
A. 11 March 2009: He will have to make his baby his first priority. This doesn't mean he will end up back with the baby's mother, but it is always a risk.
You just need to ask yourself whether you can handle coming second to a child he had from an affair. The chil... (read in full...)
What can I say or do to get his attention?
Q. Hi. I don't know where to start but there is this guy I really like, he's in my year an single, I see him most days as we hang round with the same people but we don't really know each other that well and don't get a chance to talk to him on his own ...
A. 11 March 2009: Compliment him on something he has/wears. Like say "hey, that's a cool patch on your book bag", just to get a conversation started.
If you have the same friends, then maybe try to coordinate all of you hanging out one night. Just like 5 of you, ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for us to be physical and get married?
Q. i am a non practising christian divorced with children and ive met a new partner who is widowed and a catholic can we have a physical relationship and get married ...
A. 11 March 2009: Yeah, go for it. Depending on how Catholic he is, and how strict his church is, they may or may not allow a ceremony in their church. Churches often offer couples counseling, and you two could discuss these matters there and get clearer answers.... (read in full...)
My first love just broke up with me, I feel so lost and lonely, any advice?
Q. My boyfriend of years broke up with me over a day ago. He's just started uni and i'm in my second year (he had gap year); he's finding studying really difficult (not realy cut out for uni) and spends literally 24/7 doing work and so the last few ...
A. 11 March 2009: Just give him some space. He's trying to figure out how everything in his life is going to work out, and it sounds like he doesn't want to hurt you if things get too stressful.
It's like the old saying goes, "If you love something let it go, and ... (read in full...)
My community and religion do not accept gay people, what do I do?
Q. can any body help me with this ugly situation? well it all started when i was 14 back in the school i notice that i like guys and enjoy chating with them all the time but during that time i never know exactely what is wrong with me i thought ...
A. 11 March 2009: Honestly, the only suggestion I can make is that perhaps you try a "study abroad" program where you can go to another country that is more accepting and figure yourself out.
You have a tough choice to make in life. Do you want to lie to everyone... (read in full...)
I want to kiss my GF but I don't know when to do it
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a girlfriend and want to kiss her but don't know when to do so. Please Help...
A. 11 March 2009: Any time that you feel is the right time will be perfect.
Like if you two are watching a movie, and a there is a nice, slow part where you find yourselves looking at each other, then go for it! Really, any time you feel a personal connecti... (read in full...)
Is it possible for us to be physical and get married?
Q. i am a non practising christian divorced with children and ive met a new partner who is widowed and a catholic can we have a physical relationship and get married ...
A. 11 March 2009: I don't see why not... Am I missing something? Do you love each other? Or are you looking to just get married for benefits and have a sexual relationship only?
I feel like I'm not getting the whole picture.... (read in full...)
New to the dating thing. Should I meet him for lunch?
Q. Help! Should I meet him for lunch? My boyfriend is in the area..and he text me this morning to meet him for lunch. He's used to buying food from the dollar menu during the week and on weekends we really splurge. He does pay for pretty much all our ...
A. 11 March 2009: If you're just looking to have a fun, laid back relationship, then go for it and get yours! :-)
My BF and I often fit in a quickie during the day, since our quality time is spent over weekends. And we live off of ramen noodles and other cheap fo... (read in full...)
Why did he do this? I'm confused.
Q. Im really confused. I have what i thought was a good friend in Reno, we have known each other for two years or so, but have grown closer over the last couple of months (in a 'friends' way...)we both have partners. However, lately there has, if im...
A. 11 March 2009: Take some time to be away from him for a while. Explain to him that maybe there was a misunderstanding, but that you were really offended and confused by what he did to you.
Explain to him that he really physically hurt you, and that you would pr... (read in full...)
Can a hostess make exceptions to her own invitation?
Q. hi i have recently hosted a birthday birthday for my kid. i also sent out a 'no siblings please' note in the invitations with one or two exceptions wherin the siblings were close to my son. one of the parent cornered me so as to why there w...
A. 11 March 2009: I work part time for a kids' birthday party facility, and we charge per child that participates. Sometimes parents don't realize this and they end up costing the hosting parent quite a deal of money when they bring siblings who have no real ... (read in full...)
In it only for the sex?
Q. This guy and I have known each other for about two months and just started to fool around last week. We have a mutual friend and he told me that he said that he is looking for something long term and he doesnt sleep around. The first time we kissed, ...
A. 11 March 2009: Make him wait until you stop getting ambiguous answers from him.
If he can't be straight with you, then you need to leave him on the "friend" list.... (read in full...)
He just cheated for the 2nd time
Q. You may remember me, my husband is cheating on me for the 2nd time. Well he went to the courts and retrieved the divorce papers that I filed and had the clerk to shred them. He says he really want to work it out and that we will go to marrige ...
A. 11 March 2009: Never have a child just to save a marriage.
If he cheated TWICE before, you can put money on him doing it again.
If you really want to make this work, go to couples counseling and get him into sex addiction therapy. If he won't go, then don't w... (read in full...)
My wife confessed she cheated on me before we were married
Q. I am 12 years into my marriage. My wife just told me the other day that she cheated on me (had sex) with at least one other guy after we had started dating and even after becoming engaged to be married. I had no idea about this until now. I am ...
A. 11 March 2009: Any revenge you take on her just punishes your children. You have managed to be the better person in this marriage (as far as I know) so keep it up. Don't stoop.
It's up to you what you want to do. Do you want to stay with her? Have you talked t... (read in full...)
My husband hits me and I'm not sure what to do
Q. I have a huge issue i have been married now for almost 3 years and im 23years old but my husband just turned 28, he is a cop and i am a student i was with him when he had to go to police academy and stuck by him in thick and thin but im starting to ...
A. 11 March 2009: This is a common trait for cops. Most fit a psychological profile of having aggression issues, and are sometimes not too far off from the criminals they arrest. Not all cops, but some. My sister works for our local P.D., and boy does she have some ... (read in full...)
How many is too many
Q. is six guys alot for a 17 year old girl to sleep with? please help!!!...
A. 11 March 2009: Please don't think I am judging, but I do think 6 is a little on the high side.
I for one don't care, but because of societal pressures put on young girls, I understand that other people might jump to harsher conclusions and view it as far too ... (read in full...)
We have a great sex life but he still watches porn without me
Q. I am very active sexually. In fact, I just sucked my husband off this morning before we left for work. I probably give it up to him 3-5 times a week. So please, someone tell me why he has to sneak around and watch porn? I am one of those wo...
A. 11 March 2009: I'm willing to bet that when he watches porn he is replacing every woman with an image of you... Just a guess.
If you're sex life is so great, then I wouldn't worry too much. Porn can lead men (and women) to gain an unrealistic expectat... (read in full...)
Can you develop feelings for someone you're not attracted to?
Q. Hi I have had bad luck in love for a long time. I just started recently hanging out with this guy and he's really nice but I only see him as a friend. Anyway I think he likes me he always buys me stuff and I try and tell him not to but he does ...
A. 11 March 2009: Sexual attraction is a huge part of having a working, intimate relationship. Don't feel guilty. Just because he would make a great BF doesn't mean he would be great for you.
Maybe back off of him for a little bit and get some space, but continue... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says I'm tighter after giving birth
Q. Me and my boyfriend had sex only 5 weeks after I gave birth. I feelreally uncomfortable because I think I might be loose or something. The reason I say that is because he said afterwards I am tighter now than I was before. I barely tore at all. But ...
A. 11 March 2009: No, he means it. Satindesire is right, guys are up front and you can take what they say at face value.
If sex hurts though, stop and wait a while. I believe you're supposed to wait around 6 weeks. But I haven't had kids, this is just what I have h... (read in full...)
Is tasting yourself strange?
Q. I am fairly new to this site and have learned a lot about my body. I am exploring things that i never gave much thought to until recently. I have done almost no dating. I have touched the more private aras and it is giving me pleasure. I have ...
A. 11 March 2009: There is nothing wrong with knowing yourself. And later, you will figure out just what other people like. Some guys find it a huge turn on for a girl to kiss them right after they have gone down on her. At the same time, some guys are not keen on ... (read in full...)
B/f smells so bad "down there" I almost gag!
Q. Hello all, My problem is simple. My boyfriend smells horrendously bad "down there" and I can barely give him a blow job without gagging. I usually just breath through my mouth but I would prefer my nose (its just easier that way). Anywho, it s...
A. 11 March 2009: Some guys just smell a little musky down there.
If he still has his foreskin, he needs to completely pull it back and wash wash wash under it.
If he's circumcised (as most American lads are), then he needs to see his family doctor. Usually,... (read in full...)
Scared of pregnancy after my first time
Q. Oh god, and I thought I'll be safe when I do my first sex! It just happened, I wanted it to happen. I was worried because we didn't have any condom, I wasn't on pill either. Argh!!! I'm in a foreign country, and I have no health insurance, I also ...
A. 11 March 2009: Go to any pharmacy and ask the technician. In the US, you can get the morning after pill with no prescription, but I don't know about Canada. I'd assume its the same, but a pharmacist will know. They may also know of a free clinic you can go to to ... (read in full...)
I think I upset my teacher
Q. I'm afraid that I've upset my teacher. Our class was in the library today and we were supposed to be doing research for an upcoming project. I'd checked out a few books for it and felt pretty good about the whole thing, so i decided to read ...
A. 10 March 2009: As a substitute teacher, I can promise you that we get over those things pretty fast.
He knows that he'll encounter this type of situation in high schools, and you aren't the first student who he has ever though was off task for an assignme... (read in full...)
My husband is adamant that we will not be having any more kids. I don't understand this! Please help!
Q. Hi. I am happilly married with 2 gorgeous kids (one boy one girl) I am desperate to have another baby but my husband has said that he is done. He has said that it is either our marriage or another baby. I put it to him if i got pregnant - would he ...
A. 10 March 2009: I doubt he is cheating. Army Medic said it best I think; More kids = More money!
He probably doesn't want to spread himself too think between work and kids. Maybe he knows that he is not the kind of person who can handle the stress of 3 kids and... (read in full...)
What do I do when I'm on top?
Q. I have never done the girl on top position and always felt a little self conscious about it. Like what exactly am I supposed to do? Do I go up and down or move back and forth? I dont want to appear fat to him and I dont want him to be grossed out. ...
A. 10 March 2009: Play with rocking your hips and swiveling them. Think belly dancer.
Try not to bounce up and down like your riding a pony. Just guide your self up and down, feeling the line of his penis. You don't want to go too far up and then come slamming... (read in full...)
What do the words "I love you" mean and why would you say it?
Q. What do the words "I love you" mean and why would you say it?...
A. 10 March 2009: In what context are we talking about?
When I tell my family I love them it is because I value the kinship and company they give to me, and admire them for their strengths and support their weaknesses the way they do for me.
When I tell m... (read in full...)
When a girl starts to orgasm, should I keep touching her until she's finished?
Q. I have a question Ive always wondered about. Whenever a girl starts to have an orgasm do they want/need the guy to keep on touching them to keep it going or once its started does it just go by itself? I know for a guy if i started to orgasm and th...
A. 10 March 2009: When she starts raising her hips and thrusting them, try to respond to her movements. If she is thrusting, she probably wants more/deeper penetration.
Every girl is different during orgasm. I for one prefer my BF to not move very much once i r... (read in full...)
We split up but he won't leave me alone even although I have moved on.
Q. I know this guy who talks to all these girls on msn and by phone he has never met them, and always agrees to meet them which never actually takes place, when I was with him he still talked to them and went to them with his problems instead of coming ...
A. 10 March 2009: It sounds like he has some emotional committment issues if he can't come to his partner with a problem. The internet makes it increasingly easy for people to divulge their problems to other because of the anonymity. This is why he never meets the ... (read in full...)
She wants to cheat on her fiance with me! Help!
Q. Hey People! Need some help and advice! Im Male and iv got this female friend who has been flirting with me more and more, she has a bf and is engadged to marry him.... Shes cheated on him before and he forgave her now she wants to cheat on him wit...
A. 10 March 2009: Honestly, that's a can of worms I would not open.
Talk to her about why she is continuing to do this to her fiance. It doesn't sound like a case of cold feet anymore, it just sounds like she is using him.
If she continues, then promise her that... (read in full...)
Is it true if you haven't yet started your period you can still get pregnant?
Q. Hello, umm is it true if you haven't started your periods you can still get pregnant? of course you ave to use a condom but I was just wondering if this was true. thankz...
A. 10 March 2009: If you happen to have sex just before you would be getting your first period, then yes, you can get pregnant.
All that is needed is sperm and an egg. Since you haven't gotten your period and you have no cycle to track, I wouldn't risk it.
B... (read in full...)
He knows! And now I don't know what to do...
Q. Um... okay. I like this boy (call him Danny), that much is blatantly obvious. His best friend (my best friend's boyfriend) found out and has told him and Danny didn't believe him!! I suggested showing Danny the texts on his phone (but then he got ...
A. 10 March 2009: I say bite the bullet and ask him out. If he says no, then you can start to move on rather than waste your time pining over him.
Go for it. Guys like a girl with confidence. And really, the absolute worst that could happen is that he says 'No', an... (read in full...)
Confused in Iraq
Q. So, Im a US soldier currently deployed to Iraq for the third time. I met my wife in 2006, shortly after returning from my first deployment. We had a very strong, and wonderful relationship. Right before I left in February of 07 for a second ...
A. 10 March 2009: In the US, the only way I know of "quitting" the military is to not renew your contract and to let your time run out and then honorably discharge.
But, you still have to decide on a reserve unit to be a part of for several years after, and we h... (read in full...)
My friend is facing a possible custody battle. Does anyone have any knowledge of American law?
Q. heres a question, my friends son hes 13 yrs old, canadian citizen. but at 19 months he was sent to states where he was placed into legal custody with grandmother but u.s border patrol claim hes illegal citizen but lawyer says its a messed up case ...
A. 10 March 2009: She needs to hire an international lawyer. About 15 yrs ago, the US went through a lot of policy changes regarding citizenship with minors from Canada. It is a huge mess, and the laws today won't apply to her case.
She needs to seek legal counsel ... (read in full...)
What do you think of dating your step brother/sister?
Q. What do you think of dating your step brother/sister? I'm not doing it or anyone else that I know of, I've just been thinking about it for a while and wanted to see what other people thought. I do and don't approve of it. ...
A. 10 March 2009: If your 30 when they're both adults when the parents remarry, then it's not that big of a deal, and has happened.
If you were raised together as children, then you get into a sticky situation. It's legal, but might not be viewed as moral.... (read in full...)
Had baby with 1st cousin..no one knows
Q. ok this is hard i havent told anyone-my son is 2 1/2mo's old i got prego by my first cousin nobody no's who the father is its been a hard secret to keep for a year .in the past when i was 14 he was 19 we got caught doing it in a car he went to ...
A. 10 March 2009: Seek counseling to guide you to what is right for you to do. There is little else any of us could say for a situation this big.
You did nothing wrong in my opinion. Unfortunately, it sounds like your family won't agree.
Seek professional hel... (read in full...)
Follow up: In college and pregnant - am I overreacting to my doctor's remarks?
Q. I'm a 21 year old college student about to graduate with my biology degree and i've just found out i am pregnant. I posted a few days ago about how i didn't know if i wanted an abortion or not and i am still undecided. Well the plot has thickene...
A. 10 March 2009: No, when it comes to your health and any difficult decisions you must make you should never feel uncomfortable about your doctor.
Ask around with your friends about how they like their doctors, and give one a try. I don't know what your views on... (read in full...)
They tell me I'm a fool
Q. I'm 23 yrs old and have been having an affair with my much older marreid boss for 7 months. I first I told myself it was just sex and thought it ws fun and exciting but now Im in love with him. He is 42 and has twin son that are 3 yrs old and he ...
A. 10 March 2009: Talk is cheap. If he really was committed to you, he would have left by now or started the process. End the affair and see what happens.... (read in full...)
She needs a sitter. Is it wrong of me to pay for them?
Q. I find myself going out with a single mother. Nothing out of the ordinary though it's something I never thought I'd do. She doesn't have any family or close friends so when she's out with me or at work she has to use a babysitter as she has two ...
A. 10 March 2009: I think if you called her up and said "I'm taking you out, call the sitter, I'm paying for her as well" she would be floored and flattered. Kids cost money, and it would be really nice for her to see that you don't view them as obstacles.... (read in full...)
How can you make a woman feel special and sexy and during foreplay?
Q. How can you make a woman feel really special and make her feel really sexy during foreplay?...
A. 10 March 2009: Make it all about her. Ask her what she wants, while your doing things to her. Tell her how amazing she looks, and how you can't wait to be in her. Try to describe her to herself.... (read in full...)
Is it MY semen or does she seemen?
Q. My partner and I had sex two days ago, today while we were beginning to have sex I pulled out and my member had a big glob of semen just below the head, and I know I didn't just cum. It looks fresh and she says it's from the last time we had sex and ...
A. 9 March 2009: Showering would have nothing to do with ejaculation being cleaned out. The vagina naturally washes things out, which is what discharge is for women.
It was most likely her own lubricant and discharge that her vagina produced. Especially if it wa... (read in full...)
Confused in Iraq
Q. So, Im a US soldier currently deployed to Iraq for the third time. I met my wife in 2006, shortly after returning from my first deployment. We had a very strong, and wonderful relationship. Right before I left in February of 07 for a second ...
A. 9 March 2009: When my ex husband was deployed to Iraq, I had to learn hard and fast how to do everything on my own. The independence she is feeling is most likely three-fold because she has a child to care for.
When he came home, i remember being upset with eve... (read in full...)
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