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... Send *essica04 a private message | | | *essica04's profile:I am 23 and live in the U.S. in Las Vegas.
As far as education, I am a senior psychology major with an emphasis on child development, and minor credits in counseling.
As far as my personal life, I have been there and back! I was pregnant at 17, which ended in a miscarriage. I married my H.S. boy friend when I was just 18 and still in school. He was in the U.S. Army and I spent almost 3 years as a military wife. Our relationship was always abusive, and we divorced just over a year ago.
I don't know which part of all that people will count as "credentials" for giving advice, but take it as you will. I have an opinion on just about everything, and I promise all of my readers that I will try my best to offer sound, unbiased advise. But I ask you to take everything I say with a grain of salt. I won't always tell you what you want to hear, but this is an advice site, so you asked.
Most of my advice is based on relationships and basic sex-education questions. I will never speak about that which I have no experience. |
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My husband is addicted to anniseed balls and beer!
Q. My husband has started to become addicted to food, in particular, aniseed balls and beer... he can't start the day without them. Wherever he goes, he has to take aniseed balls and beer with him (or if driving, a diet Coke!). He's showed no ...
A. 3 March 2009: I think you need to seek counseling for him. I don't want to say that he has an outright eating disorder (I don't know enough to qualify him for binge eating or bulimia), but you need some professional help that can maybe open his eyes.
Take ... (read in full...)
I found another woman's panties in my boyfriend's glove compartment!!!!
Q. I was driving with my boyfriend to his apartment. I stopped at the durg store to buy some condoms but when I got back to his car I found someones elses panties! He knows they must of been there before but how could I not see them??? Then worst of ...
A. 3 March 2009: Tried? So does that mean you dumped him or just gave him the cold shoulder that night?
Shove those panties in his ear and leave the jerk. ... (read in full...)
His girlfriend is pregnant!
Q. I've been talking to this guy who has a girlfriend, he's telling me that he plans on breaking up with her but he doesn't want to hurt her. As things come to a close between him in this girl (she knows about me) I get early in the morning a lot of ...
A. 3 March 2009: He needs to pull up his big-girl panties and stand up for what he wants. Either you or her.
There isn't much you can do, that ball is in his court. His situation with her has nothing to do with you, and he shouldn't let you get dragged into it.... (read in full...)
My ex husband and I are wanting to try again... How do I break this to my boyfriend?
Q. I was married for eleven years and now have been divorced from him for just a little over year, and I have been dating a guy for a year. I don't want to hurt the guy that I have been seeing, but I have been having a constant host of feelings, ...
A. 3 March 2009: Sit down with him and talk to him about everything. He deserves to know where he stands with you.
After he gets over the hurt, he will ultimately be thankful that you were open and honest with him. Guys don't take kindly to being strung around, ... (read in full...)
Should I be this worried about her being with another guy?
Q. my gf is amazing. and i love her to bits and bits. i cudnt imagine life without her!! but, she said to me that people r trying to set her up with a boy, and even her teachers r getting involved! she drinks a bit, and LIVES IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY! i ...
A. 3 March 2009: Well, I can't tell you not to worry, because things happen.
It has taken me a long time to learn that I just need to live my life as a good person, and that way I will never have regrets.
If she is the kind of girl who is going to run around on... (read in full...)
Pregnant by precum followed by sex?
Q. Ok, silly question, how possible is it to get pregnant from pre cum? Followed by sex? We used a condom but needless to say there was some rubbing before the condom was put on and now I'm late. ...
A. 3 March 2009: "pre-cum" is seminal fluid that can carry sperm in it.
If you're late, take a test. Though it may take a week or two before a test would be effective. If you skip this period, make an appt with your gyno to make sure nothing is going on.... (read in full...)
I'm scared that I may be pregnant... what do you think?
Q. hey i wonder if u guys could help me. I have not been feeling myself for a couple of weeks. I looked on the interenet last night and the symptoms I have been experienceing are, waves of nausea in the morning and evening, bad lower back, a bit of...
A. 3 March 2009: If it has been a couple of weeks, you could try taking a pregnancy test. I would suggest going to your doctor to have one done.
If you are having these syptoms, and if you are pregnant, then you have some options about treatments that will be ... (read in full...)
How can I curb this temper of mines?
Q. Ok, I really need as many help and as much advice as I can possibly get. I really love the person that I'm with right now and I would do anything or at least try my best to work out any problems a relationship sometimes have. My bf and I work ...
A. 3 March 2009: If you can enroll in anger management classes to show him you are serious about changing, he will be more inclined to stay around longer.
In the meantime, if it is possible when the situation arises, try to leave and cool down for a few minutes.... (read in full...)
How can I see if I am still a virgin?
Q. i wonder weather i can find out if i am still a virgin or not by myself ?...
A. 3 March 2009: Listen to ArmyMedic. it's the plain and simple truth.
... (read in full...)
Is it normal to masturbate while watching porn?
Q. sometimes, when i get kind of horny.. i masturbate.. and sometimes i think of sex or i watch porn while i do it, is this normal? do you people do it too? If u are, what age do you do this?...
A. 3 March 2009: Watching porn or creating sexual scenarios in your mind are perfectly normal ways to help achieve an orgasm during masturbation. Of all ages.
No worries, Love, you're normal.... (read in full...)
Do men have a G spot?
Q. Do men have a G-Spot?!? I'm curious..what makes a man go from Ahhh that was fun to Yes girl I want some more!!...
A. 3 March 2009: Pressure on the prostate gland is supposed to be highly pleasurable for me. Sadly, it is only accessed hrough the anus. So unless he is ok with you sticking a finger or two up there, don't try it.
I have been told as well from guys the undersid... (read in full...)
Give it another go with the ex?
Q. My ex has recentley popped back into the picture and i really am kinda lost as to what to do. Background- we broke up after a pretty much wonderful relationship of 2.5 years. we're both 21. he was going away for two months with his single frien...
A. 3 March 2009: It sounds like you need more closure from that relationship. I say give it a shot and if things don't work out, then maybe it is time to close that chapter of your life.
It will be very hard to be with a full time med student, and if you require ... (read in full...)
Cant make sex work
Q. My boyfriend and I have been trying to have sex, but there have been a few problems. Twice he was unable to maintain an erection, and the other two times he came the instant he entered me. We were both virgins before these attempts. I have tried ...
A. 3 March 2009: Hmmm, he might just have to get used to having sex. From what you said, you have only had sex 4 times. He is probably just really excited and nervous.
If the problem persists without any improvement in his performance duration, then he should g... (read in full...)
Tips for getting naked, having sex?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about two years. We are both seniors in high school. We are going to be going to different colleges I don’t know what that means to our relationship. It is not that we don’t have something special because we ...
A. 3 March 2009: Have things ready at hand like the condom you should be using, a glass of water (sex can run you out of breath!) and even a towel for you to lay on in case you bleed a bit (not sure if your hymen is torn already for some other reason).
Reall... (read in full...)
Cant make sex work
Q. My boyfriend and I have been trying to have sex, but there have been a few problems. Twice he was unable to maintain an erection, and the other two times he came the instant he entered me. We were both virgins before these attempts. I have tried ...
A. 3 March 2009: One technique is to get him on the verge of cumming, and then stop, have him pull out and gently squeeze the head of his penis with his fingers. When the urge passes, he can enter you again. Repeat as necessary.
I have not tried this, only hea... (read in full...)
Easy positions for spooning
Q. i have a 5.5 inch penis and i cant spoon very well. are there any easier positions??...
A. 3 March 2009: Well, it's not technically a spooning position, as you aren't on your side, but have you tried her being flat on her stomach and you entering from behind that way? You can lay on her and just prop yourself up with your arms, it's like a backwards ... (read in full...)
I found my own sister in bed with my boyfriend!!!
Q. My sister is having an afair with my boyfriend! I was going to his apartment and saw her car. When I got upstairs (I have a key) they were in bed. What should I do? I hate my sister now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
A. 3 March 2009: First off, dump that loser.
Second, talk to your sister. Maybe this is just the vengeful side in me, but I would also out her behavior to your family, at least your parents. Not like you need anyone on your side, because you are the innocent... (read in full...)
Even though we live together, he's still married. Will he ever be free?
Q. Okay, I have an issue and I hope that someone can give me a little insight on how to handle the situation without being judgmental, brutal, and malicious. I dated a young man when I was fifteen for almost 2 years so there is a little history. ...
A. 3 March 2009: Just ask him. You say the marriage/ divorce is never mentioned, why not? If it bothers you so much, just ask him. They may not have filed because of some legal convenience, or because it just isn't a pressing matter at the moment.
Tell him how ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and am giving my baby up for adoption. Now I'm getting called nasty names for making that decision.
Q. I'm in high school and pregnant, I decided to give my baby up for adoption but in the meantime people keep on calling me nasty names even the guy that is the father who I'm still dating, that's another thing he is so nice out of school but ever ...
A. 3 March 2009: Oh honey, I am so sorry you are on the receiving end of such cruelty.
Dump that boy. If he isn't sticking up for you to other people, then you need to drop him like a bad habit. It is so unfair that society only blames the young mother and neve... (read in full...)
Do guys find genital piercings on women sexy and a turn on?
Q. I want to get my clitoris hood and inner labia pierced. I would like to know from the guys if they find genital piercings sexy and a turn on. Of course, I'm doing it for me but would like to know what guys think of them. P.S. I'm single so I have...
A. 3 March 2009: My BF is not turned on by the idea, but all my other exes totally thought a gal with piercings was hot. Plus, they really wanted to know how extreme the orgasms might become. Lol, silly boys.
I'm sure you know this, but find a reputable piercer ... (read in full...)
Licking a penis!
Q. Ok, So I'm 15 and a virgin. What can you get from licking a penis? It's a really stupid question I know.. but I want to know. Is it dangerous? Can you get an STD?...
A. 3 March 2009: Yes, you can get anything that can be passed from skin to skin contact, and in extreme cases, you could even get HIV/ AIDS from the seminal fluids being in your mouth.
Have him wear a condom. Have fun trying out some flavored ones. I know you're y... (read in full...)
After using a spermicide is it safe to have oral sex?
Q. This may be a dumb question but it's important to us, so here goes. Me and my boyfriend use Encare spermicide inserts along with condoms. We're wondering is it safe for him to do oral on me after having sex, or would it be harmful if the chemicals ...
A. 2 March 2009: The chemicals are probably not best to ingest. Really, I have found that the spermicide does not taste good at all (I had some still on my finger that i didn't know about, wiped my lip, blech!).
... (read in full...)
Horny before period?
Q. most girls get super horny a few days before their period and during it. and i was wondering if there is anything that one can do so that they can control themselves? i hate being horny and i want to be able to control myself and not go to may man ...
A. 2 March 2009: Well, there is no reason you should have to control yourself. These are hormonal changes going on because on a primal level, your body is trying to get you pregnant. I know I get quite randy the entire week before my period. That is my most fertile ... (read in full...)
What to do if your b/f is having a bad day
Q. what would u do if ur BF is having a bad day? i want to destract him, and do something really sexy with him, but his ex gave him a blow job, and im willing to do it, but i just want to be sexy, so unless i have to, i dont want to just yet. so wha...
A. 2 March 2009: Just be happy and smile a lot. Try to take his mind off of things by going out for a nice walk, or baking him some cookies. I know it sounds corny, but it really works.
I have reservations about you using sex as a tool to "make him happy". ... (read in full...)
He wants to runaway to marry..not telling the family
Q. My bf and me hav been goin out for over a year he recently has been having problems wih his family and asked me to marry him i sed yeh but wen i sed we should tell the family and frends he refused he wants a secret ceremony should i mary him or ...
A. 2 March 2009: It depends on what you value. If you are close with your family, and respect their views, then is this guy really worth the rift that could come between you and your family?
If he doesn't want his own family at his wedding, that's one thing, b... (read in full...)
Views on virginity
Q. Hey, I was just wondering what age did people lose their virginity and having lost it at that age do you wish you had been younger/older when it happened? I'm not thinking of having sex or anything quite yet, I'm just curious :) Thanks x...
A. 2 March 2009: I was 15 when I lost mine, and I wish I had waited. Not necessarily because I thin I was too young, but more because the guy I lost it to was a jerk and really only wanted to take my virginity. I didn't like him more than a crush either, which is ... (read in full...)
Shaving underarms
Q. How do you get smooth, clean underarms, I have always shaved but it never gets all the hair away and I always have a shadow....
A. 2 March 2009: I just shave and use a deodorant with some soothing additives like aloe or vitamin E. Also, lotion under your arms with something light and unscented. It helps me at least.
You can wax, but you have to let the hair grow out quite a bit. It's up ... (read in full...)
I got back with him as I was scared he would hurt himself, how do I handle this situation?
Q. Ok so I've been dating this guy for a few months now. And I have to say our relationship doesn't make any sense. For one he's already talking about marriage and having kids. When he has 2 kids and I have 1. I told him I'm not ready for marriage, but ...
A. 2 March 2009: Do him a favor and leave. He really needs to get a grip on reality. He is a grown man with two children, and he needs to be able to hold himself together for their sake.
just a thought... is his ex in the picture at all? Maybe this is why they spl... (read in full...)
I'm done with this marriage! I need help!
Q. I'm done with this marriage...I need help... Someone please shine some light this way.. I need to divorce my husband of 5 years. I can’t deal with this loveless marriage anymore. In the twincities, have anyone tried using this website www.our...
A. 2 March 2009: You can usually print out your own divorce papers online and sign the appropriate pages. Just go to your local family law center.
Now if you have children and a lot of property, or you need spousal support, then you will need an attorney. You can ... (read in full...)
Do guys take rejection to heart?
Q. do guys take rejection to heart.becasue a guy asked me out and i said no.this was few years ago.and i meet him recently and he still mad at me becasue i said when he asked me.i actually did like the guy but i didn,t know if he saw me as friend or ...
A. 2 March 2009: Yes, guys are very sensitive. I once broke up with a rebound guy to get back with my ex in H.S. and he still hasn't really forgiven me, and its been 6 years.
Of course, I feel awful for stringing him around, and I can't believe I did such a thing.... (read in full...)
The day before we broke up he said I was perfect for him, what should I do/think?
Q. Right, my bf and me have beeen going out for about 6 months, and he broke up with me today- not for any particular reason:/ he just said he didnt want a gf and that he felt he didnt desrve me ect, this is all fine i get that, it was just so ...
A. 2 March 2009: Honestly, he probably does want do just go out and party up with girls and friends because you ARE too young to be tied down so soon.
It's great that you experienced a long relationship, and I think you should take everything you learned and appl... (read in full...)
Was his comment out of fear or a true reflection of how he feels about me?
Q. I have been dating this man now for about 2 months. We are both divorced. I have an 8 year old son and he has two teenage sons. We always get along great. He tells me he cares about me and he acts as if he does. He told me a while back that he wou...
A. 2 March 2009: It's kind of a way for guys to pass the buck, but it's not always a heartless move.
I think he is just at a point where if it happens, it happens, and he would love you and that child regardless of any time line. Him saying he would "support... (read in full...)
Could I still get a purity ring if I had sex before marriage?
Q. i have already had sex once and it was the biggest mistake of my life.i wanted to wait until i was married.could i still get a purity ring?a promise to myself that i will not have sex again until married?...
A. 2 March 2009: Some churches believe in a sort of "re-virginizing" ceremony where you are at least spiritually cleared of your past. However, you did have sex, and that is still something that should come up in conversation with future partners.
Plenty of peopl... (read in full...)
Any there any toys that can help make anal sex more comfortable?
Q. ok so my bf of 3 years and i have been playing around with anal and i was wondering if if there were any toys or "bum nummers" that would make it more comfortable? i want to casue i like it but we cant get very far casue it is someitmes unplease...
A. 2 March 2009: Try a small anal plug that has a base that will allow you to keep it in during sex, and work up from there. But if it gets uncomfortable, it is a sign that something is not right and that you should stop. A lot of damage can be done to the rectal ... (read in full...)
How can my husband and the rest of the employees deal with their weird boss?
Q. I posted my problem originally here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-husbands-boss-is-making-increasingly-weird-demands.html I can give you some more info on the context of the situation. My husband works for a firm that distributes computi...
A. 2 March 2009: They need to all seek legal counsel. They may be able to file a class action suit against this guy for sexual harassment, emotional stress, etc. Just because he owns the company (assuming) does not mean he can threaten employees. If he is found to ... (read in full...)
How can you know if a guy likes you for what you are?
Q. How can you know if a teen age guy likes a girl only for her looks or likes a particular part of her body and nothing more? How can you know if a guy is not interested only in her looks and likes her for what she really is (personality)? How can ...
A. 2 March 2009: Really the only way to tell is by his actions. If he only calls you when he wants to make out or feel you up, or have sex, then he probably isn't very interested in anything but your body.
However, if you can talk on the phone, or in persona ... (read in full...)
How good is Spermicide?
Q. Which spermicide works the best and what are the chances of it not working properly? (Never used it before). My girlfriend likes to make love without condoms because we feel closer that way but we also would not like a baby so I am wondering just ...
A. 2 March 2009: The only difference my BF ever felt when we used spermicide was that it made things feel very thick. Other than that, we loved how easy it was.
My spermicide came with an applicator, kind of like a tampon. The applicator screwed on to the tip of t... (read in full...)
What do you think love is?
Q. I'm a 15 years old and i was wondering what is love? is different kinds of love? I'm just curious. if you've been in love what was it like? if you haven't been in love what do you want it to be like? if you don't wanna be in love why not? so this ...
A. 2 March 2009: At your age, the word "love" gets tossed around a lot, and it's usually because of all the hormones racing through your brain.
I remember when I fell in love with the two BF's I ever had in H.S.. I even married one of them. But alas, it didn't w... (read in full...)
Am I pregnant even though I have a heavy period?
Q. Hey, all. Ready for another ''am I pregnant?'' question? My period was two days late, though I did get it and it seemed to last as long as a normal period did and was just as heavy. I took a pregnancy test today, just to be sure. It was negative,...
A. 2 March 2009: You totally CAN have your period and still be pregnant. It's not common, but it does happen. It can vary from light spotting, to actual menstruation.
If it was a few weeks after you had sex that you took the test, then I would think you're f... (read in full...)
Secondary school friends or Uni friends???
Q. My birthday is coming up soon this weekend and I don't know whether to celebrate it with my friends from secondary school or university. The reason being as follows: Although I have known my secondary school friends for most of my life, we haven't...
A. 2 March 2009: Invite those that you do speak with a lot from Uni. And use this an an excuse for all of your old school friends to catch up and hang out.
Don't be afraid to mix the group. If they're your friends, they'll all have a blast celebrating with you... (read in full...)
Can a guy love one woman and be sleeping with another?
Q. Hello, everyone! Can a guy love one woman and be sleeping with another? He has indicated his love for me but is with a girlfriend. Now I'm with another guy and the guy who talks about our love is angry with me. Should I tell the guy who say she ...
A. 2 March 2009: If the other guy really wants to be with you, he will let his current GF down gently to be with you.
Whether he does or not, you still shouldn't be stringing around some poor sap who you don't seem to want to be with. Don't think you're doing hi... (read in full...)
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