A
female
age
30-35,
*_seidner06
writes:okay, so im leaving for basic within the next two months, I have been dating my boyfriend for awhile now...and when i say awhile, im not talkin about more than a year. I love him to death, i would take a bullet for this man. Here is the problem. I am already married and affiliated to the military (him and I are legally separated). So i may get stationed out here in AZ, but there is a chance that i may not. I will have to be stationed for my first enlistment at a specific duty station (base). If its in AZ, its all good. If its somewhere else, then i wont be able to see him and long distance relationships do not work out as far as i have seen. My question is, Would it be sensible to hold off with the military until i am fully divorced and marry my current boyfriend so he can come with me wherever i go? He called his dad when I asked him about this, so im pretty sure 100% is wanting to too. I have not a second thought about it not working out as a real marriage or anything like that, if we get married, it will be for real. This is a real big life changing thing. I just wanted some opinions on this.
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divorce, long distance, military Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 February 2009):
 Yes.
Simple as that. Your "new" husband however won't be coming with you til your first duty station, married or not. However you will receive the financial and medical benefits for him as well if you are married. As well as financial assistance with moving no matter where they send you.
You are stating a new life. Start it fresh.
Good luck
/Salute
A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (27 February 2009):
 I for one was married to the military in a similar situation where I married my H.S. BF to be able to stay with him and follow him to his duty station since we didn't think we'd do well in a LD relationship.
I am a little confused about what your being affiliated with the military already has to do with where you get stationed. As I understand, they can and do separate spouses a lot. The only difference to both being enlisted is taht you can get preference on a transfer. Am I wrong? Have things changed?
Personally, I would wait and see where you get stationed and then proceed with your divorce, since you should just take care of that anyways. I just have learned from experience that a lot of miliary marriages hat are rushed often end in divorce. This is not just from my marriage, but from 85% of the others I saw while my ex was enlisted. Only two of the men in his troop are still married to the wife I saw them with 4 years ago.
Good luck with whatever you decide, just really weigh your options. The military makes marriage a lot more frustrating than it needs to be.
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