A
female
age
41-50,
*opo
writes:I recently asked for a break from my boyfriend. We have been together for 2 years and I suddenly got frustrated and tired that he was now depending on me financially. i have been the one funding our meals transport and everything. He has a job that is not well paying but he has good qualification. He was wondersful but had a weakness of not wanting to be open about his feelings. this made me doubt him. I was not aware whether he was with me for the money or what...the past month he was really stranded and that is when I was not helping him at all...I decided to zip my wallet and turned a deaf ear and a blind eye... One day I dropped him off and left him with no money for transport and he had to find his way. partly I could understand his financial problems but he was not open to me about them. he will not tell me unless he wants money.....the past two months I have been feeling frustrated and I tried not to spend anything on him. I was also vocal about how I feel all of a sudden whereas initially I would say it slightly. the relationship took strain and harsh words were exchanged. He was the victim then because he didnt have a cent. I asked him if he can ask his family to assist and he said no and I would feel guilty for not helping out even though id still not give him any monies...I felt like he was supposed to better ask his family for money and not me as his girlfriend...a friend of mine once said when my boyfriend gets a job he will just maybe calculate what he owes me and pays it back and leave. he told me he doesnt think he will stick around....he went back to his job the same time I gave up on the relationshipi asked for a break, it has now been more than a month, we just talk over the phone and never make any plans to meet nor to deal with the issue. this morning he deposited money in my bank account without saying anything. I called him to say thanks. I cant keep thinking that maybe he too has had enough with the relationship and he wants to pay me back what he can.... (even though he never took a loan). Maybe he just wants to give me some money... but we are in a break...what can one say about this kind of behaviour. He has never just given me money before
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female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (26 February 2009):
 Are you the same person who posted a similar question on 6 Jan 2009?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-bitter-from-financially-supporting-the-both-of.html
I followed your earlier postings too, which dates back as far as 4 August 2008.
You seem to have an affinity toward dating men with financial problems as well as dating two men at the same time :-)
In the current global economy, the conventional gender roles [at least job-wise] might as well go out the window LOL. Whoever has the opportunity and capability to get a job with good pay should go out and get it - and this may not necessary by choice anymore.
Having said that, judging by the way he returned your money, I think he basically was saying "Thank you but No Thank you" if you know what I mean. He's had enough of you.
I hope both of you had time to ask forgiveness from each other before you parted ways. If not, it is never too late to do so now.
Cat
A
female
reader, jessica04  +, writes (26 February 2009):
 I think it's time to call it quits. He paid you money, and hopefully he will pay you back all of what he owes.
i'm sure things between you two started out with the best of intentions, but he let his end of things slide. For now it seems like no major harm was done. I think you should go out and find someone who can pull his own weight and treat you to the finer things in life for once.
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