Like what
she writes?
... Add *essica04 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *essica04 a private message | | | *essica04's profile:I am 23 and live in the U.S. in Las Vegas.
As far as education, I am a senior psychology major with an emphasis on child development, and minor credits in counseling.
As far as my personal life, I have been there and back! I was pregnant at 17, which ended in a miscarriage. I married my H.S. boy friend when I was just 18 and still in school. He was in the U.S. Army and I spent almost 3 years as a military wife. Our relationship was always abusive, and we divorced just over a year ago.
I don't know which part of all that people will count as "credentials" for giving advice, but take it as you will. I have an opinion on just about everything, and I promise all of my readers that I will try my best to offer sound, unbiased advise. But I ask you to take everything I say with a grain of salt. I won't always tell you what you want to hear, but this is an advice site, so you asked.
Most of my advice is based on relationships and basic sex-education questions. I will never speak about that which I have no experience. |
|
Will a threadworm tablet stop my pill from working?
Q. Hey aunts please help! I started taking the contraceptive pill (microgynon 30) on Tuesday for the first time ever! I started on the first day of my period, and I've read the information leaflet about 4 times, the doctor told me and the leaflet ...
A. 7 March 2009: Your pharmacist should know. Usually only antibiotics counteract birth control pills. Did you let your doctor know you were on birth control before they prescribed the thread worm pills? Call your pharmacy and ask and if they do not know, then call ... (read in full...)
Should I get my mum something really special for mothers day...?
Q. Hey. Mothers day is this month and I'm a little stuck for as to what to do. My mum's mum (so my gran) died just before Christmas, as did my mum's dad (my grandad). He died literally two weeks after my gran did, so it was really sad and hard for ...
A. 7 March 2009: What I do every year is find a really fancy brunch menu, and make everything at home from scratch. I go the our market and find the most interesting and fresh flowers available, and create my own bouquet. Then I have my mom over just as I am pulling ... (read in full...)
Cheating sucks!
Q. My boyfriend cheated on me with a girl he works with. She kept offering him to fool around even though she knew he had a girlfriend and a family. He caved in but has never cheated before. We've always had a great loving relationship! He cheated ...
A. 7 March 2009: Cheating isn't a tit-for-tat thing. If he is receiving help for depression, then you are already ten steps ahead of the game. Follow up that medication with counseling, I urge you. Talk is cheap and lies are expensive, think of how much this ... (read in full...)
Should I wash my hands after someone very poor touches me?
Q. I'm from the Philippines and I have a moral issue... I like to help the poor, give them alms and stuff they need... but am I being a bad person if I immediately wash my hands after they touch me? I'm very confused....
A. 7 March 2009: The only way that I think it would be considered rude is if you did this seconds after they touched you. If you are out in the community doing charitable work, then no, there isn't anything wrong with washing up at the end of the day, or before you ... (read in full...)
What should I do it if my in-laws won't stay out my marriage?
Q. What should I do it if my in-laws won't stay out my marriage. My husband is scared to stand up to them about his marriage to me?...
A. 7 March 2009: Well, what are they doing?
I had a very invasive mother-in-law, and she would not let go of my ex and called him her "baby" all the time. I finally had to tell him that it was me or her, and he started putting limits on when she could be around o... (read in full...)
Cheating sucks!
Q. My boyfriend cheated on me with a girl he works with. She kept offering him to fool around even though she knew he had a girlfriend and a family. He caved in but has never cheated before. We've always had a great loving relationship! He cheated ...
A. 7 March 2009: Sometimes people mess, and its really up to you to decide how much you want to work on things. But lets look at the facts:
Cheated on you
Continued to text girl for a while after
Got drunk and did drugs
Went to her place
I undert... (read in full...)
Help with shaving needed...
Q. I'm confused, what parts of my pubes should I be shaving??? I've never shaved them before and I don't know where to start! Please help....
A. 6 March 2009: Start slow and just shave carefully the bikini line, going with the direction of the hair. Trim the main part with small scissors to either a desired length, or short enough that you can shave it as well.
When you feel more comfortable, you can ... (read in full...)
I really don't see how she could be pregnant but why does she have a headache & puking?
Q. well i have a simple question. since the day me and my g/f made love(protected) and i came inside her with a brand new condom and so i was sure that there was no leak cause i checked it before i put it on and i know it didnt broke because the flui...
A. 6 March 2009: This could all simply be the power of suggestion. When I was pregnant, I didn't have my first symptom (fatigue) until I was about 1 month.
She is probably going through normal hormonal changes before she gets her period, and is just over reacting... (read in full...)
Where am I supposed to go from here?
Q. So I have been with this man for the last 2 years, everything was great till our restaurant shut down and he got a job right away, and it has taken me a little longer to find a job. but i have found one. but in the mean time, he has made himself out ...
A. 6 March 2009: He sounds pretty manipulative, or amybe he is just getting paranoid about protecting his own assets in these tough economic times.
Key point is however, if you don't feel comfortable even talking to him, and he keeps playing these control games ov... (read in full...)
Is this sex or not?
Q. ther is a story im really ntrested in finding out. My boyfriend of 6years who of recent i have sared my first kiss claims he had half-sex. He said he only inserted his penis halfway into his ex girlfriend, which was his first and only sexual ...
A. 6 March 2009: It's sex. It doesn't matter how he tries to excuse it. His penis entered her vagina. Did he cheat on you? Is that the question? Or did you want both of you to lose your virginity to the other?
He did have sex, plain and simple, though if he only ... (read in full...)
Condom broke pregnancy scare...
Q. yesterday me and my bf had protected sex...and then the condom broke but he pulled it out before he even ejaculated and i asked him if he ejaculted he said i trust him...could i still be pregenant or am i safe? please someone give me answer v...
A. 6 March 2009: There is no way to tell right now. The best way to determine is to wait for your next period. If you skip it, then take an at-home test or go to a clinic (we have what is called "planned parenthood" in the U.S., and it's almost free) and one of ... (read in full...)
I've never had sex so this can't be an STD! Any ideas?
Q. I have a problem and I need some answers please. Okay aunts the problem is I'm scared that I might have an std, but I'm a virgin and haven't had any sexual contact with anybody so I dont think that's possible.. The thing is I have a few pimples ...
A. 6 March 2009: It is most likely just acne. You should have your parents set up a dermatology appointment for you. If your acne all over your body is bad, then you should be seeing a doctor for treatment just for your own comfort. A dermatologist will be able to ... (read in full...)
Is it right to keep her close to me even though I'm going to break up with her again? The sex is good!
Q. Hi my name is Sam this is the second time i come for addvise on the same relationship. my previouse question was answered with appreciation. Well i,ll start by saying that there is much to say but i will keep it short. I have broken up with my girl ...
A. 6 March 2009: Let her go. You are wasting her time by playing this cat-n-mouse game with her. Unless she knows you are with her mainly for the sex and is ok with it, I would break things off with her as gently as possible.
This isn't fair to her to keep put... (read in full...)
Stockings/leggings/tights fetish.
Q. I love stockings/leggings/tights/anything else that really tightly hugs the legs of a woman (this includes tight jeans). I haven't really been able to pinpoint the reason why I have this fetish. Is there any reason why I like these things? Or is ...
A. 5 March 2009: I think it's just one of those things, but you aren't alone. I used to dance ballet, and there was nothing my BF liked more than to see me in those tights, since I have rather long legs.
Some guys are boob guys, or butt guys, or even nose guys (li... (read in full...)
We broke up, I'm pregnant and very uncertain about the future
Q. Me and my boyfriend moved in together, we fought a lot though. Well the last time we fought it was over myspace, I know stupid, his friend said she wrote something to me and I never got it, he believed her over me when I said that I did not receive ...
A. 5 March 2009: Let him simmer and realize the mistake he made. I wouldn't put yourself through the stress of trying to patch up a romantic relationship with him.
Honestly, if I were you, I'd leave and keep an open line of communication with him when he decided ... (read in full...)
Ladies: Poll about size
Q. Ok ladies I have been in a discussion with my girlfriend and many other females the age old question here goes . DOES SIZE MATTER ? IS IT THE LENGTH ? IS IT THE GIRTH ? IS IT BOTH ? I am just asking. Please do not assume i am a...
A. 5 March 2009: Length depends on how deep or shallow the woman's vagina is. But from everything Ive talked about with my GF's, girth is the make or break. ... (read in full...)
How effective are condoms? I don't want to get pregnant
Q. Hey people. Me an my boyfriend are about to have sex an he is goin to use a condom. but i'm so afraid i'm goin to get pregnant. A lot of my friends are saying i won't. But i don't know. I really want to do this. I'm not gettin birth control but how ...
A. 5 March 2009: A condom by itself, when used properly, has between a 95-97& rate of effectiveness. You can also use a condom-friendly spermicide as an extra method of protection.
Also, some condoms already come with spermicidal lubricant on them. Just make sur... (read in full...)
My friend told me his girlfriend has awsome control "down there". Has anyone else encountered this with a woman?
Q. I have a friend that has told me that his gf has some awesome... how do I say It (control down there). I have never encountered a woman that can do the things he has said she can and was wondering can any woman do that? I have a woman that ...
A. 5 March 2009: It's possible for sure. You just have to experiment and play around with your partner to find out what works for both of you. Some girls also regularly do what are called Kegal exercises, which help with muscle control of the vagina.
Tell your fri... (read in full...)
Would guys be repulsed by my body?
Q. Hi Guys, This may seem stupid but I've got a problem. I'm quite a big girl well actually I'm fat and that I have accepted, but when it comes to attention from men etc I can't handle it and get all self concious as I can't get over the fact if they ...
A. 5 March 2009: To put it bluntly, if you're a big girl unclothed, then you're a big girl clothed. You need to trust that if a guy is interested in you, then he is interested in all of you. He can see that you're bigger, and if he wants to hook up with you, then it ... (read in full...)
Need help getting home..anyone have good directions?
Q. Two and a half years ago I moved to WA state with my husband to be, who has now turned in to my ex-husband to be since he turned out to be an abusive a-hole. He does not want to get help with his issues since he thinks he does not have any, but was ...
A. 5 March 2009: I would follow the mapquest instructions. You can use the settings to get directions for the shortest route, the most scenic, the longest, etc.
The other benefit to mapquest is that it is usually updated on road conditions, as are other GPS syst... (read in full...)
We are really nervous. What is the cause of strange symptoms after sex?
Q. So I've had unprotected sex with my girlfriend about 2 weeks ago and i finished inside of her. She has not had sex before that for a while. After that night i had sex with her again but she said when i went all the way inside of her she had pain ...
A. 5 March 2009: The burning and itching sounds like a yeast infection, which can be aggravated by sex.
Regarding the pain, she should see her doctor. It could just be menstrual cramps, but she needs to be checked up on to make sure it isn't naything more serious.... (read in full...)
Can a man tell if a woman has orgasmed?
Q. I'm not talking about the physical stuff that women do when they orgasm (like shaking, moaning, etc.); more like the internal. If they're having intercourse, can a man tell that a woman has orgasmed by the change in her vagina (it contracts)?...
A. 5 March 2009: Yes, my bf can feel when he has made me have an orgasm, but really only if it was an internal type of orgasm.
It's different for everyone, but mostly the vagina constricts, though this isn't often true for clitoral orgasms.
The more familiar yo... (read in full...)
My best friend gets jealous when I'm with my b/f as she's used to having all my attention, what do I tell her?
Q. I Have The Best Boyfriend In The World, But When Im With Him My Best Friend Gets Really Jelous, I Dont Leave Her Out At All, Its Just Shes Used To All The Attention I Used To Give Her, She Has To Understand How Do I Tell Her? ...
A. 5 March 2009: A lot of friendships get stressed when one partner doesn't need the companionship from the other quite as much. The one being left behind can sometimes feel like they were just being used as a waste of time (though this is not true).
Try to make ... (read in full...)
I discovered my b/f cheated and has had a child, how can I be sure he doesn't see his child?
Q. me and my boyfriend have two children together and going back last year i found out he has another child in between the age gap of my children he says he wants nothing to do with the other child. i found out he was seeing the child behind my back, ...
A. 5 March 2009: Sorry, boyfriend, not husband. I didn't proof read.... (read in full...)
I discovered my b/f cheated and has had a child, how can I be sure he doesn't see his child?
Q. me and my boyfriend have two children together and going back last year i found out he has another child in between the age gap of my children he says he wants nothing to do with the other child. i found out he was seeing the child behind my back, ...
A. 5 March 2009: This child is already at a societal disadvantage just because of his parents actions. Please don't hurt this innocent any further by keeping him from being able to develop some semblance of a relationship with his father.
I understand your hur... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have a surgery to get my virginity back?
Q. I am not a virgin and for the past two years I have been sexually active. I would also like to know if it's possible to have a surgery to get my virginity back?...
A. 5 March 2009: Yes, there is a surgery that can be done to reconstruct the hymen. I don't know hoe good the recreation is, but I wouldn't look at cheap doctors. ... (read in full...)
How do guys stay so skinny?
Q. Obviously I know everyone is different but the majority of men are so skinny. I exercise a lot and watch what I eat but I cant seem to lose weight and so many of my guy friends eat absolute crap and never exercise and they are sticks! Its just not ...
A. 5 March 2009: Men are usually "skinnier" because their metabolisms run at a generally higher level than a woman's. It also runs longer at this faster rate than a woman's does.
This is all very generally speaking, of course.... (read in full...)
2 months pregnant but look like 5 months! Will this change his feelings?
Q. I have had two other kids and now my new love and I are having a third baby and our* first. I have always been very small and went back to the same but this time I am like two months pregnant and look nearly five. I haven't gained much weight but my ...
A. 5 March 2009: Some women gain differently after having been pregnant before. My sister-in-law was HUGE for her second baby.
If you are really worried about it, talk to your OBGYN at your next prenatal appt. or schedule an earlier one. They can have the ultrasou... (read in full...)
I lied and now I'm in trouble
Q. Okay, big problem; I have a BAD habit of lying a lot. Usually they're just little white lies and it's not that big of a deal. I just did something really stupid. So me and my friend are getting teased by this guy who we both can't stand, and he's ...
A. 5 March 2009: Just own up to it and stop with the lies, especially when they can so easily be disproved. That's all that can really be done, otherwise this is just going to get into a big "he said-she said" thing.... (read in full...)
Is being fingered even anything like sex?
Q. I'm a virgin and have been with my boyfriend for 6 months now. I'm 18 and I've never had sex before so I'm kinda nervous but we both feel ready to do it. I've heard it hurts when you have sex as the hymen tears but my boyfriend has fingered me ...
A. 5 March 2009: It's different for every woman losing her virginity. For me, it didn't hurt at all. For my friend, it hurt the first few times she had sex.
Just go slow and relax. If you aren't relaxed, then yes, it can be quite uncomfortable. Make sure he spend... (read in full...)
Spermicide harmful to baby?
Q. My bf and I have been having sex and only using spermicide(the foam). I found out today I'm 2 months pregnant and I was wondering if the spermicide we've been using could have caused harm to the baby? ...
A. 5 March 2009: This is a better question to ask your OBGYN. My initial thought is no, this won't harm the baby because the spermicide is only meant to kill off sperm, but it gentle enough that it can be applied into the very sensitive vagina.
http:... (read in full...)
15 lb weight gain in 3 months??
Q. Okay so this may sound a little wierd, but I'm a person who most people call a "health freak". I jog in the summer and swim during the winter. Well for some reason over the past three months all I have done is gain weight! This is odd to me because ...
A. 5 March 2009: Go see a doctor. There really isn't much else any of us could suggest since we can't run tests or x-rays.
Don't be embarrassed. If you're such a health-nut then you will actually be able to help your doctor by giving her the run down on your sym... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend is stalking me!
Q. About 4 months ago I broke up with an ex boyfriend and then a got together with another boy... me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 months and I think my Ex is stalking me because he always calls me follows me, emails me and when he calls me ...
A. 5 March 2009: Listen to DrPsych. You need to stop talking to this guy. Get records from your phone company of his calls, print his emails, and keep a diary that logs times he finds you in public.
Make this all known to your local authorities. The sooner y... (read in full...)
Irregular periods and pregnancy.
Q. Last year I had the contraceptive injection for 6 months, then 4 months later I had the pill for a month and then stopped because I was having periods and wanted go them back to normal, so I haven't been taking any birth control since December ...
A. 5 March 2009: By now any birth control you were taking is out of your system. This means that assuming your uterus works normally, then you are at risk for getting pregnant.
Go see your doctor and make sure you are perfectly healthy down there. They can also... (read in full...)
Is he close to saying "I love you"
Q. My boyfriend said, "I think I'm falling for you." Now, he says "I like you A LOT!" We've been together for a little over a month now. And known each other since the end of last year. My question is could he be getting close to saying, "I love ...
A. 5 March 2009: Whether he's close to it or not, he is certainly enjoying his time with you. Don't push him. Nothing can ruin a relationship faster than saying the L word too fast and then realizing maybe you didn't mean it.
I'm in the same boat as you are. My ... (read in full...)
He wants me to smoke weed with him before we have sex... what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend wants to have sex with me but he also wants me to smoke WEED with him before we do it so I can get high. I don't know if I should because I'm worried that if he gets high he'll forget to put a condom on and I might get pregnent. What ...
A. 5 March 2009: I doubt it would be as bad as you think.
But.... a lot of poor decisions are made while under the influence. During my wild teen years I did experiment with sex and weed, and it was fun, but not any more fun than just having sex with someone ... (read in full...)
If we have sex more than once at a time, I have stomach cramps for at least a day afterwards. What's going on?
Q. Recently i've started sleeping with my boyfriend, and i've noticed something strange. If we have sex more than once at a time, I have stomach cramps for at least a day afterwards. What confuses me is that i've had sex previously, again more than ...
A. 4 March 2009: Go see a gynocologist who can examine you and make sure nothing is out of sorts down there. They can also talk some sense into your step mom about the REAL facts about the pill.
Truth is, while it may be hard to track you period, you have a couple... (read in full...)
Is it normal that I'm 17 and wanting a baby?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend a while now, and we've never used protection whilst having sex. We did to start with, then on two occasions neither of us had any, so we decided to do it without. Now this has become a regular thing, and protection ...
A. 4 March 2009: Sometimes hormones can get the best of you. It's a strange mix between our natural instincts and the expectations of society.
Thankfully you recognize that society wouldn't be as welcoming to you if you have a baby at 17. You most likely wouldn't... (read in full...)
He's hiding that he's doing drugs!
Q. I have been in a relationship for nearly 2 years now and I love my partner very much. I knew that he was taking coccaine probably twice a week which wasn't a problem to me, however a few times now he has been taking it in secret without telling me, ...
A. 4 March 2009: If he's doing this in secret then it needs to become an issue to you. He's addicted, there is really no such thing as casual cocaine use.
He needs professional help, such as counseling and detox. He needs to get sober. If you're telling him that... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have a surgery to get my virginity back?
Q. I am not a virgin and for the past two years I have been sexually active. I would also like to know if it's possible to have a surgery to get my virginity back?...
A. 3 March 2009: There is a surgery that recreates the hymen (or something just as crazy), but in all honesty, the moment you had sex you lost your virginity, and nothing can bring that back. The surgery is only a cosmetic procedure.
If you are ashamed of your pas... (read in full...)
My husband is addicted to anniseed balls and beer!
Q. My husband has started to become addicted to food, in particular, aniseed balls and beer... he can't start the day without them. Wherever he goes, he has to take aniseed balls and beer with him (or if driving, a diet Coke!). He's showed no ...
A. 3 March 2009: I think you need to seek counseling for him. I don't want to say that he has an outright eating disorder (I don't know enough to qualify him for binge eating or bulimia), but you need some professional help that can maybe open his eyes.
Take ... (read in full...)
| *essica04's friends
These are mutual friends, so *essica04 has
added them and they have added *essica04!
|
